Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
LOGAN
I was going to fucking kill Ander when I saw him. She was crying because of him for the millionth time, and I was struggling not to hunt the fucker down and beat some sense into him.
“I swear losing my virginity fucked up all my hormones. I’m pathetic,” she said angrily from her spot on the couch beside me, furiously wiping at her eyes.
I gave her a lopsided smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“It has nothing to do with sex. This is happening because your feelings got hurt.”
“He’s going to leave,” she said quietly, my brow creasing in confusion.
“What makes you say that?”
“Because it’s Blake,” she said, choking on a humorless laugh. “She’s his weakness. He told me he wasn’t sure what he’d do if she ever came back.”
“When did he say that?”
“When he first showed up. She really hurt him, and?—”
“Stop,” I murmured, reaching out to pull her onto my lap so she was straddling me. “So much has happened since then.”
“It’s Blake ,” she repeated, uncertainty in her voice.
“Yeah, and no offense to her, but she isn’t special. They had a good connection, but he never looked at her in the same way he looks at you. I won’t lie and say she isn’t important to him, but in a room full of people I just know he’d look for you, not her.”
“Did I overreact?”
“I’m not dumb enough to say that,” I teased, relieved to see her eyes weren’t watering anymore. “You’re allowed to feel like this.”
Her phone buzzed in her pocket as a message came through, and I fished it out to see it was Ander.
Ander: I’m so fucking sorry. I was an ass. We’re leaving now, but we’ll give you some space first. I only want you, Bluebird. I promise. We’ll talk more when I get home.
“They’re leaving the track but are giving you some space before coming home. Ander wants to talk,” I stated, her face falling slightly. “Not that kind of talk. He wants you, see?”
I turned the phone so she could read the message, instant relief filling her eyes.
“I can’t live like this, Logan. I’m not supposed to be the insecure girl who acts like a stage five clinger,” she groaned, making me chuckle.
“We’re just doing a shitty job of making you feel secure, which is all on us. I love you, and nothing could change that.”
She gave me a small smile, raking her fingers through my hair. “Tell me what you love about me.”
I could’ve written her a fucking essay about it.
“That premium pussy sure?—”
“Be serious!” she laughed, playfully smacking my chest.
“Premium pussy,” I repeated with a grin. “And I love making you laugh. Hearing your voice makes me all giddy, and sometimes hard. My favorite thing to do is snuggle with you, and when you smile at me, I almost fall the fuck over. Whatever shampoo you’ve been using makes my dick hard whenever I smell it too. I kind of like it when you get violent, and when you put your hand around my throat the other night, I almost came in my pants. I hate that I wasn’t the person helping you grow your confidence, but I’m really happy to see it now. I get butterflies when you walk through the door, you know?”
Her face softened, her fingers toying with the front of my shirt. “Really?”
“Yeah, baby. I really, really fucking love the sound you make when I first slide inside you too.”
“I love the sound you make when you come,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss my jaw. “And that you make me laugh when you’re not even trying to be funny.” Her hands slid under my shirt, my abs flexing from her touch. “Watching you do basic things like drive or cook for me is like porn, and knowing you were the first man to ever be inside me still makes me feel a little giddy because I never thought you’d want me like that.”
“I’ve always wanted you like that.”
“I love you so much,” she said so quietly I barely heard it, and then her mouth was on mine.
It should’ve been embarrassing how quick my dick jerked to life, and I grabbed her ass in both hands and tugged her forward a little with a groan.
“I love you too. Please sit on my face.”
“No,” she panted, confusing me for a second. I thought this was the green light to touch her, but maybe not. I’d wait if it was what she wanted, I’d wait for fucking ever for her. “I need you inside me.”
Her frantic tugging at my shirt had me quickly catching back up to what she’d said, and I pulled it over my head as she tossed her own across the room, her bra going next.
“Fuck I love your tits,” I murmured as I leaned forward to take a nipple between my teeth, her fingers instantly threading through my hair to pull me closer.
The shudder that rolled through her had me licking and sucking from one to the other, and I lost patience as I slid a hand into her pants to rub her clit and felt how wet she was.
She rolled her hips and I swatted her ass with my free hand.
“Pants off. Now.”
I managed to shove my pants down in the time it took her to stand and kick hers off, a shriek leaving her as I hauled her back onto my lap and kissed her neck, my hands roaming her naked body as she ground down on me.
“Please,” she begged, her hands fumbling between us to grasp my cock.
“Pause,” I said firmly, halting both of our movements. “Condom.”
The whine that left her made me raise an eyebrow, and she shook her head. “I’m covered now. We don’t?—”
“You’re letting the others raw dog you?” I asked, jealousy filling me. If anyone’s cum was going to be dripping out of her, I wanted it to be mine.
“Reid won’t, but Zav and Ander do. If you want to play it safe though?—”
“No one ever said I made good choices,” I stated, helping her line us up before she sank over me.
We both groaned as I stretched her, my hands going to her waist to encourage her as she grabbed my jaw possessively and kissed me. There was no uncertainty, she took what she wanted from me and I loved every damn second of it.
She switched from rolling her hips to bouncing on me, one of my hands gripping the couch as I fought not to come already.
“Jesus, baby. Oh, fuck.” I was muttering curses and encouragement as she fucked me, my balls tingling with the need for release. Her hand dropped down her front to rub her clit, her bounces faltering as her own climax got closer. “Come on my cock. Keep going.”
Her muscles tensed as she came, and I grabbed her ass in both hands to pull her back and forth on me for her to ride it out.
Her face was buried in the crook of my neck, and her hand had slipped to my throat as her body pulsed around me. I had no hope in fighting it anymore as I let go and filled her, the sound that left me almost sounding painful.
I’d been waiting for what felt like an eternity for this, and the relief that shot through my body was instant.
She was panting as she tried to catch her breath, my arms circling her to keep her close as I placed a kiss on her shoulder.
“We are totally doing that again later,” I exclaimed, a chuckle leaving her.
“You’re on top then, my knees can’t do that again.”
“Give me a minute and I’ll bend you over,” I grinned, letting her pull back enough to look down at me. “I really want to wrap your hair around my fist and pound you.”
“I think we can work something out,” she smiled, rolling her hips and making me jerk slightly. I swore I was still coming, I was so damn sensitive.
Reid’s car sounded outside, her face falling instantly. I wanted more time alone with her, but I had to remember she wasn’t just mine.
I reached for my pants and pulled my phone out, finding a message from Reid.
Reid: I’m staying out a while with Lavaro. Zav is on the way home though to check on Rae.
“It’s just Zav. Reid and Ander aren’t with him,” I said, relaxing her a little. “There’s no more secrets or lies between any of us, remember? I want to beat him up for hurting you, but I also think you two really need to talk about this. Be honest about how you felt, and if you don’t like his response, let me know and we’ll take turns punching him. Deal?”
She smiled, running her fingers through my hair. “Deal.”
The door unlocked and swung open, revealing Zavier. “Hey. Sorry, I can leave again if you want more time alone. Just wanted to check on you.”
“Stay,” she insisted, patting the couch beside us.
“How about I get you something to clean up with?” he offered with amusement, walking past us and dropping a quick kiss on Raven’s head before vanishing into the laundry room to find something in the linen closet.
I was so glad the couch was leather, or we definitely would’ve wrecked it. My balls were soaked with our fluids.
Zavier returned with a warm, damp cloth, standing behind Raven and gently reaching around her with the cloth to press it against her pussy as he eased her off me. He dropped another damp cloth on my bare chest, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m not wiping your dick clean. But there, I helped.”
“So kind of you,” I deadpanned, taking it and wiping the mess up. “You’re just in time for round two.”
“C’mon, she’s tired. We can play gangbang tomorrow,” he smirked, sliding a hand over her ass. “I really want to sink inside this tight ass again.”
“I can’t believe I missed that,” I huffed, getting to my feet and grabbing my boxers. “I call dibs on it next time.”
“How about you two go shower? After you clean the couch because I’m not doing it,” he warned.
I quickly cleaned the cum from the couch and let Zavier get Raven started in the shower, not at all surprised to hear her coming a short time later.
“How do I taste, Lopez?” I called out as I put our dirty clothes in the laundry basket, heading towards them.
“Delicious as always,” he replied as I opened the door, his hand still between Raven’s legs as he washed her. Her eyes were drooping, and I chuckled slightly as I grabbed a towel.
“C’mon, she’s ready for bed. You tuck her in, and I’ll join you guys once I’m clean.”
I waited for Zavier to finish helping her, then I wrapped the towel around her as she stepped out, kissing her forehead. “I’ll be in soon.”
“Kay,” she yawned, letting Zavier rub the towel over her so she was mostly dry, then he steered her from the room and closed the door behind them.
I scrubbed myself clean, wondering what else the guys had been teaching her in the bedroom, and I made a mental note to ask her at some point.
The thought of getting her between me and Reid made me fucking hard again, so I tried to think about other things to avoid needing to jerk off. My dick should’ve been sated, but it definitely wanted more.
“You’re a slut for that premium pussy. Have some control,” I scolded, pointing at my dick like it was his fault.
“Are you talking to your cock?” Zavier asked, making me look up to find him standing in the doorway with an amused look on his face.
“Yes. He needed a serious talk. What do you want? Coming to dry me off too?”
“You wish. Rae wants a grilled cheese, so do you want me to make you one too? We didn’t have dinner.” My stomach growled, making him grin. “On it.”
“Thanks, bro,” I chuckled, switching the taps off and grabbing my towel, quickly getting dry before heading into the bedroom to find fresh boxers.
A smile tugged at my mouth as I heard Raven giggling at something Zavier was saying, my chest warming.
Pretty sure I loved that sound more than the one when she came.
Raven
I fell asleep before the guys got home, only waking up when someone lifted me.
“Where are we going?” I mumbled as I snuggled into the chest I was cradled against, jolting slightly when I heard Ander’s voice.
“Living room to talk, Bluebird.”
“This could’ve waited until morning,” I growled, fully awake now. He looked exhausted, his arms tightening slightly to stop me from escaping.
How had the guys just let him take me out of bed like this?
“It’s four o’clock, so technically it is morning, and I can’t sleep knowing you’re upset with me.”
“So you thought you’d make me happy by waking me up?”
He sat on the couch, not letting me off his lap as he sighed. “I keep fucking things up with you, don’t I?”
“Understatement of the year,” I snorted, trying to pull away but he only held on tighter. “How about we start with personal fucking space?”
“No,” he answered, his voice softening. “I don’t love Blake, Raven. I get that I was a prick by brushing you off, I didn’t mean to. Blake being back means Stefano might find her, and as much as I know I’m not in love with her, that doesn’t mean I want to see him hurt her. Someone’s talking, he knows too much, so all it would take is for him to find out that she’s my ex-girlfriend and he could kill her. I just wanted her to go home to her sister where she was safe. Enough people are getting hurt because of me already.”
“What do you mean you don’t love her? Of course you do. You even told me you wouldn’t know what to do if she came back, and I saw your choice at the track last night. You pushed me away for her,” I said bitterly, his hand grabbing my chin firmly so I couldn’t avoid his gaze.
“I thought I loved Blake, but I’ve recently discovered it was just a really strong like. She had similar interests and understood me, so I misunderstood my feelings. I didn’t put on an act for her, she knew my personality and the dodgy shit I got up to, but she didn’t know the side of me that I was hiding.”
“Love is pretty easy to understand. It’s like a piece of you that you didn’t even know was missing is put back into place.”
“Yeah, I know. I got that feeling for the first time when I fell for you,” he said quietly, stroking my cheek. “I’ve never felt this strongly for Blake. I thought it was love, but what I feel for you is so much more. I’m scared of her getting dragged into this, and I should’ve just told you that at the track instead of freaking out and pushing you away.”
“I don’t?—”
“I can’t even do this right,” he scowled, moving me on his lap so that I was straddling him and he could take my face in both hands. “I’m trying to say I love you, Raven. I’m terrible at showing it, and I hate that I’ve made you doubt me so many times. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
“You really don’t want to get back together with her?” I finally asked after a moment of silence as I processed his words.
“I don’t. When I told you I wouldn’t know what to do if she came back, I honestly thought I did love her. The more time I spent with you, the more my feelings grew until it surpassed mine for her and made me realize I never loved her.”
I hated to admit that my heart hurt for Blake. She definitely loved him, and if she heard that his love wasn’t what she thought it was, it could really hurt her.
I knew how that felt because I’d thought Logan’s love had been bullshit too, and I thought I was fucking dying.
“I love you too,” I mumbled, pulling my face from his hand. “But I really can’t handle much more bullshit right now. In the past month, I’ve been hit by a car, lost a baby, lost the guys, my dad came back, I almost got raped, had to leave my home, found out my dad fucked up the mortgage, had people after me, seen people die, and had to deal with the fact that you’re a fucking mafia prince and it might get us all killed. Last night might not have seemed that big of a deal to you, but I’m on the edge, Ander. I can’t take anymore.”
“It was a big deal if it hurt you,” he promised, tilting his head slightly to watch me. “Blake knows I’m with you now, and that me and her are over. She’s not the type of girl to try and get between that either.”
“I hate feeling insecure, and she really yanked it to the surface without even doing anything. She’s?—”
“She’s not you,” he said as he cut me off, sliding both arms around me to bring me closer. “You’re gorgeous, Raven. I love it when you fight me on things, sometimes, and that you’re not a kiss-ass just to please people. You call me on my bullshit and don’t care that I could fix all your money problems in an instant. You’re independent, but you also lean on people when you need to. I don’t even mind that I have to share you with the guys because they’re family to me too. I want this more than I can put into words, and I just have to hope that you’ll believe me enough to prove it.”
“What happens with Dante when you guys take down Stefano? Will you go back to Italy with him? I won’t leave, you know that.”
He shook his head before I’d even finished the sentence.
“I never wanted to live in Italy. I was born in the States, and I intend on staying here when this is all over. Dante wants me to go back with him, but running the mafia is his thing, not mine. I just want to stop looking over my shoulder and make a home here with you.”
“Okay,” I sighed, making him frown.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. I really need you to deal with your dad, though, because him being alive is going to be a deal breaker,” I joked, a chuckle leaving him as he stroked my hair affectionately.
“I can do that. I need to find out where he’s keeping Dante, and hopefully we can get him out and find their main base before they move it. It’s been too quiet since Dante was taken, so I know Stefano’s going to make a move soon.”
I leaned forward to snuggle into him, resting my head on his shoulder as he held me.
“I’m scared of losing you,” I whispered, his hand moving up and down my spine.
“We’re getting through this. Then we’ll all get a big house, get married, all that normal shit,” he answered.
“I just want to go home. I miss feeling like Josh is somehow around.”
He was quiet for a second before answering, his voice strained. “We’ll figure it out once Stefano’s gone. Your dad can be the priority after that.”
“It’s going to need so much work. Maybe Dad’s liver will give out and kill him. Then we’ll be able to put the house in my name, right?” The thought perked me up a little, and I already started plotting it in my head. We’d have to renovate heavily, which would cost money.
If we all started saving now, we could have it in even better condition than it had been when the guys had left.
It could finally be really ours, and it was big enough for all of us too.
“Lie down with me for a little?” Ander asked, breaking the silence and waiting for me to nod before moving us so we were curled up on the couch with a throw blanket over us. “I’ll work harder at dealing with Stefano, then whatever you want to do, I’ll make sure it happens.”
“You’ll buy me a new oven?” I teased, his lips pressing against my forehead as he pulled me closer.
“I’ll buy you anything you want since all this mess is my fault. If you want an oven as an apology gift, it’s yours.”
It didn’t take him long to fall asleep, and I didn’t have the heart to get up and leave him here on his own, so I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep myself, managing to drift off sometime after I’d planned out our new bathroom in my head.