Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ZAVIER
W earing the Psychos jacket felt both comforting and weird. I almost felt like I was a fraud wearing the damn thing, but knowing they’d been wanting me to join for so long did stupid things to my insides.
Being wanted by a crew was a big deal, especially when Slash said I didn’t have to do anything other than put the jacket on. That kind of acceptance was something I never thought I could even dream of.
Ander and Raven had gone in the Supra on the way to the Pit later that day, and we drove behind in the Challenger, Logan in the back and Reid in the passenger seat. His leg was really bothering him, which concerned me a little.
Now would be a bad time for someone to come after us. He could run if he had to, but who knew the damage that could do.
“You’re going to need your own car,” Reid said as he watched me drive, making me glance at him.
“Why?”
“If you think you’re taking my baby to work to get shot at, you’re mistaken,” he joked. “But seriously, you’ll be out doing stuff a lot more. You need to start saving, or let Lavaro help you buy one. I’m hoping Raven caves and lets him get her one too. She’ll need it between her baby sitting stuff and college.”
“She won’t,” Logan piped up, leaning forward between our seats.
“She’s going to have no choice if everyone’s busy and she needs transport,” Reid replied, looking a little bit uncomfortable.
“What will you and Logan be doing?” I asked, following the Supra into the Heights.
So far, no trouble.
“I’ve been applying for jobs.”
“Where at?”
“All over the place, but I told Diesel if he can set me up with something at the community center, I’d take it,” he answered, glancing at Logan. “He said he thinks he’s got something for me and Logan, but he didn’t want to tell me about it unless it was a sure thing.”
“You might have gotten me a job?” Logan asked, faking a groan. “Dude, why? I’m enjoying being a freeloading piece of shit. We have Lavaro as our sugar daddy now, and our girl’s about to get a college education and a job with health insurance. We can sip beer by the pool any day now.”
Reid and I laughed, knowing he was joking. Logan would get way too bored being home alone all the time if we all got jobs, and he actually liked being busy.
“It could be a fun job,” Reid pointed out.
“Or slavery. You should’ve asked about the pay rate. We might be working our asses off for nothing,” he threw back, looking thoughtful for a second. “Then again, they pay Raven double what her job is worth. Maybe they’ll do the same for us.”
We took turns trying to guess what the jobs could be for the rest of the drive, and once we arrived at the Pit, we parked beside the Supra and climbed out.
There were a few cars here already, and the sound of glass breaking and laughter reached us.
Sounded like everyone was already rowdy.
“If you see Stefano or someone who doesn’t look like they fit here, tell me,” Ander said as we walked towards the hole in the fence. He stepped through first to hold it open, letting Raven and the guys through next.
I entered last, making sure no one could sneak up on us.
The second we moved towards our usual spot, I could feel people’s eyes shifting to us and their attention going to my jacket. I heard some whispers, but I blocked it out and kept an eye out for trouble alongside Ander as we walked behind the others.
Annoyance radiated off Raven at all the attention, but we’d already talked about this happening when we ate an early dinner. People here were used to gangs and violence, but there weren’t many crew members that hung around the Heights these days.
They made people nervous, and they were either hated or worshipped.
The fact that some people were scowling at me told me a lot weren’t happy with this change of events.
“Sold your soul to the Psychos, Lopez?” Zion called out as we passed one of the fire barrels, amusement on his face. “Or did you steal it?”
One of his buddies chuckled, shaking his head a little. “A few people come after you, and you run to them for protection?”
“A few people?” Raven repeated, giving me a look. “Are they for real?”
Zion slid his gaze to her, raising an eyebrow. “I’m surprised they took you back so easily after you jumped into bed with Michael.”
“We didn’t even do anything,” she threw back, making him laugh.
“Sure. I bet that’s what you tell your boys, anyway.”
“Shut your mouth or I’ll put a bullet in you,” Ander said sharply, and Zion must have known he wasn’t joking because he shut up instantly.
Reid was trying not to limp as we kept walking, and Logan threaded his fingers through Raven’s to keep her moving. She was tense, and I hoped letting loose with some paint would ease that.
She’d been dying to bring her spray paint here, so I left her alone as her and Logan started rummaging in the backpack she’d brought.
People were still talking about us as I glanced around, and Ander stood beside me with a sigh. “You need to stand your ground, man. Threaten people or something.”
“I like people to think I’m a calm person, so when I snap, they don’t expect it,” I answered, eyeing Reid as he lowered himself to the ground to lean back against the wall close by to watch Raven and Logan. “I think he needs a fucking doctor to look at his leg.”
“I already offered to pay for it, and he turned it down. I’m about to hook you all up with fucking health insurance. You’re hazards,” he grunted, his back to us as he scanned the crowd of people.
“If you’re throwing money around, you want to buy us some rust buckets with wheels? Between me and Raven, we’re going to need transport.”
“Ander’s Taxi Service not doing it for you anymore?” he deadpanned, making me snort.
“We’re about to be super busy, dude, and the Supra isn’t big enough to drive us both around. Logan and Reid might have jobs at the community center, Reid was just telling me about it. So, I can’t use their cars either.”
“What kind of car do you want?”
“Nothing fancy.”
“Hey, my soulmate gets fancy wheels, and so does my platonic soulmate,” he said seriously, glancing at me. “Whatever you want.”
“You spoil me,” I chuckled, my attention moving to the group of people closest to us as I heard my name mentioned. One of the guys were glaring at me, and I easily heard him call the Psychos pussies.
“That’s your cue to beat the shit out of them,” Ander said with amusement. “Need help?”
“I’ve got it,” I grumbled, knowing I had to put the prick back in his place now that I was representing the Psychos. “Keep Raven back if she tries to get involved.”
“Will do.”
I cracked my knuckles, and the guy’s face fell a fraction as I started walking towards them. I heard Raven ask Ander what I was doing, but I let him keep her out of harm's way as I wasted no time swinging at the guy.
People scrambled out of the way as the guy fought back, both of us ending up on the ground as I laid into him. He definitely got some good hits in, but it was obvious who was the winner by the time I climbed off him.
His face was a mess, and my hands were covered in blood.
“Now who’s a fucking pussy?” I spat, kicking him for good measure before returning to the others, and I was thankful when Raven contained herself and didn’t jump at me to make sure I was okay.
She raised an eyebrow in question, and I nodded that I was fine. I could tell she wanted to make sure for herself, but she went back to her painting, knowing I needed to stand on my own feet right now.
“You didn’t even threaten him first,” Ander grinned, his amusement dropping from his face. “This might be trouble.”
I turned, finding Cami stumbling towards us with a bottle of vodka in hand, her eyes trying to focus on Raven.
“Rae,” I said loud enough for Raven to hear, giving her a heads up. She looked over, her body stiffening when she saw her friend.
“Do we stop her?” Ander asked, looking like he was already making up his mind to grab Cami, but I shook my head.
“She’s Raven’s problem to handle. We’re letting her make her own moves now, remember?”
“Those rules apply to you guys. I never agreed to that,” he muttered, but he stood back as Cami moved past us, chugging from the bottle as she went.
There was no way she was getting any funding to go back to rehab, she’d proven it wasn’t working. This was the third or fourth time she’d fallen off the bandwagon in the past two years.
“Raven! Where have you been, girl?” Cami slurred, holding the bottle out. “Come drink with me!”
“Fuck you, Cami,” Raven scoffed, giving her the cold shoulder and snatching a spray can from Logan to return to her painting. It looked like some kind of demon with an angel’s halo.
“You’re not my type,” Cami grinned, winking at Logan. “I knew you two would end up together.” Logan ignored her completely, acting as if she hadn’t spoken, and Cami was too damn drunk to even realize as she laughed. “You guys are so cute together!”
Raven turned around and shoved her, and I stepped out of the way to avoid catching her as she landed on her ass. The ground wasn’t that hard here anyway.
Cami blinked up at us from the ground in a confused daze, her voice whiney. “What was that for? Raven! Someone who looks like you pushed me!”
“I fucking pushed you,” Raven bit out, losing her patience. “Fuck off away from me.”
“Why are you mad at me?” she pouted, searching for her dropped bottle.
It was almost empty, and I wasn’t surprised when Raven grabbed it and pegged it hard over the fence, Cami’s mouth dropping open. “Raven!”
“You’re a piece of shit, Cami. Do you remember the party we went to? The one you were supposed to be looking out for me at?” Raven seethed, bending down to talk to her. “You got drunk instead. You promised to keep an eye out for me.”
“I did! You were having a good time!” Cami grinned, sitting up a little and trying to get her balance. “You were dancing, and hanging out with people, and hooking up with hot dudes. You should thank me for taking you.”
“Thank you?” Raven asked slowly, and Cami beamed wide.
“You’re welcome! We should do it again sometime when?—”
Raven kicked her in the chest, sending her back so hard that her head bounced off the grass.
“I never want to see you again, you hear me? I trusted you, and you chose to get fucking drunk instead. I never would’ve drank if I knew you weren’t going to keep an eye out.”
“You had fun!”
“I was almost raped!” Raven snapped, definitely loud enough for people close by to hear, but she was beyond caring. I’d seen her angry plenty of times, so I could tell this anger was more aimed at herself for lowering her walls than it was for Cami.
She knew better than to trust someone else with her safety, and she was blaming herself for it.
“I didn’t—” Cami started, but Raven cut her off.
“You didn’t think because you reached for a drink the second you wandered off. You’re pathetic, look at you. Every time you get sober, you run straight back to the bottle like it’s an old friend.”
“I’m not even that drunk,” Cami mumbled, trying to get to her feet but failing. “Raven, help me up. We can find a seat near the Pit to watch the fights!”
“I’m done helping you,” Raven answered, grabbing her paint and shoving it into the bag. “Stupid me for believing you’d changed.”
The most horrible sound left Cami as she started crying and screaming, none of it in English, and people were staring as Raven stormed past, apparently ready to go home. The girls hadn’t exactly been best friends, but I knew Raven liked Cami.
She wouldn’t give her another chance though, not when Cami had had so many over the years.
Logan almost ran into Raven as she halted abruptly up ahead, and I only heard bits of her conversation with someone from where I was following behind, sticking by Reid who was a little slower.
Ander and Logan had Raven, so I knew she’d be fine.
“Get in the fucking Pit then!” Raven barked, getting in some girl’s face. I was pretty sure her name was Fern, I wasn’t sure.
Logan and Reid had definitely tag-teamed her before though, that much I remembered.
The girls were nose-to-nose, and Reid sighed. “Guess we’re not leaving yet?”
“It might fizzle out,” I offered, but then the girl shoved Raven and it was on.
“Get her, baby!” Logan cheered, so I guessed the girl had said something mean to warrant the beating.
We stood back as the girls fought, and I gave another girl close by a dirty look as she stepped forward to help her friend. She scowled but stopped, not risking it.
I didn’t want to go back to jail tonight, but I would if these bitches ganged up on my girl.
“Punch her in the cunt!” Logan kept shouting, making me chuckle.
The girl slapped Raven’s cheek, and Raven slammed her elbow down on the girl’s nose without hesitation, blood pouring out a second later.
Still, the girls kept throwing fists until the Fern girl was knocked out cold, but Raven kept punching her, lost in her anger.
My eyes lifted to Ander’s at the same time he looked at me, knowing we had to step in before she killed the girl. She’d gone through a lot lately, so the fact that she’d snapped wasn’t a shock to any of us, but I didn’t want her dragged away for murder either.
Ander gave me a nod, both of us stepping forward and grabbing an arm each to pull her back, and I was starting to worry that she’d already fucking killed her from the mangled mess she’d made.
Then, the girl choked and spit up blood, relief hitting me.
Her friends rushed forward to help her, and we kept dragging Raven away as she continued to fight us, Logan and Reid following.
“Baby, stop,” I grunted as she kicked me in the shin, only fighting harder.
“Do I choke her out?” Ander asked seriously, but Logan shook his head and moved closer, not caring about his safety as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
The fighting slowed, her breathing coming in hard and fast as she snapped out of it, and we released her as her arms went limp, letting Logan hold her up as he murmured quietly to her.
“She’s strong for a twig,” Ander muttered under his breath. “Cut back on her protein.”
I would’ve laughed if it was any other situation.
Reid had snagged her bag from the ground where she’d dropped it in the heat of the fight, and we managed to get her out to the cars, encouraging her to get into the back of the Challenger with Logan.
“I don’t think that was enough stress relief for her,” Reid said quietly as we shut the door, reaching into my pocket to take his keys. “You go with Lavaro. No one’s alone, okay? Buddy system.”
I wasn’t going to argue with that, and I didn’t really want to touch the steering wheel and gear stick with blood all over my hands, so I just nodded and let him go with Logan and Raven.
We climbed into the Supra, letting them go first so we could follow.
“I don’t care what it takes, but if we have to fuck her senseless until she’s crying, do it,” Ander said once we were alone, making me frown.
“I think that’s the last thing she needs.”
“She needs to let it out. The anger, the fear, and devastation. One at a time, gangbang, I don’t care, but make her come so much she can’t think of anything else.”
“She just needs a hot shower and someone to make her a hot chocolate.”
“Both of you need a shower,” he corrected, glancing at me in the dim car. “We’ll make her something to eat and a drink if you can help her wind down.”
“And if she doesn’t feel like fucking her mood away?” I asked dryly.
“She will.”
Raven
My whole body was shaking slightly to the point that my teeth were chattering. I could smell the blood all over me, and I’d barely heard a thing the guys had said the whole drive home.
I was practically on Logan’s lap, his fingers toying with my hair in a way that usually calmed me, but I was too wired.
The light outside was completely gone, the steady roar of the engine being the only thing I could focus on. I couldn’t tell if I was having a major adrenaline crash, or if I was ready for another fight.
My body ached, and I felt like I’d eaten a bucket load of sugar and could stay awake for a month.
I’d zoned out at some point because the next thing I knew, Zavier was in front of me in the bathroom.
When had we left the car? Where was Logan?
“Rae? Are you coming?” he asked, eyeing me with concern.
“Where are we going?” I asked, my voice sounding weird like my ears were blocked.
“Shower, remember?” he asked slowly, and I frowned.
We were having a shower?
I dropped my gaze down his body, seeing the dried blood all over him. He’d been fighting too, I remembered that. He was only wearing his boxers, but I was fully clothed.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured, reaching out to tug my shirt over my head, my bra, pants, and panties going next. The blood on his hands felt dry on my skin, and I flexed my knuckles to feel some flake off my skin too.
When I didn’t move, he carefully pulled me towards the shower, helping me step in, before shutting the shower door behind us. My arms went around him instantly, and I dropped my forehead to his chest as he held me.
“I feel weird,” I whispered, his lips pressing against the top of my head.
“Adrenaline and emotional crash. You blacked out in your fight and just kept swinging. You snapped, that’s all. Your mind is trying to restart itself,” he answered.
He always had the answer.
I lifted my head, finding him looking down at me already. “Did I kill her?”
“No. Ander’s keeping tabs on her. She’s in the hospital, but she’s fine.”
“So I’m getting arrested?” Panic filled me at that thought, but he shook his head, his bloodied hand running up and down my spine as the steam and water started turning the blood slick again.
“They have no idea it’s you. Apparently, Beckett’s opponent from the cage tonight looks the same, so we figured with them both needing a hospital, they could claim to have gotten in a fight together. It’s fine.”
My hand shook as I lifted it to his chest, the water causing the blood to run down his body.
“I know I shouldn’t encourage violence, but you were like an angel of mayhem tonight,” he said when I stayed silent, watching me as my hand explored his chest. It was like I’d never seen it before, I was fixated on it.
“You always look good when you fight. Sometimes, I wish you did it more. You get this air around you that I’d happily suffocate in,” I replied, tracking some blood as it dripped down his abs.
“Are you with me?” he asked, my eyes flicking to his.
“Yes?”
“Good.” He dropped his mouth to mine, one of his hands instantly going to my throat in a firm but gentle grip, taking my breath away as he consumed me.
I wasn’t expecting this, and I wasn’t going to argue as his tongue pushed into my mouth, forcing me to open for him.
Some of the numbness in my head faded the more he touched me, and I was soon climbing up his damn body to clear it some more, his arms moving to my middle to hold me up.
I was getting blood in his hair as I yanked on it, a groan leaving him as he pressed me against the wall and rolled his hips, finding the right spot before pushing inside me slowly.
I didn’t want slow, I wanted hard and fast, but he took his time.
Sounds around us got louder the more he kissed me, my limbs not feeling so heavy as I tightened my legs around him.
I was starting to think shower sex was my thing, I kept finding myself banging one of the guys every time they joined me.
There was no dirty talk, only grunts and moans as he brought me back from whatever weird trance I’d been in, my mind focusing on his touch like a beacon pulling me back.
We came together, swallowing each other’s sounds as we slowed our movements, and I loved how he just kept kissing me once we’d stopped. It was like he needed my kisses to breathe.
And then I burst into fucking tears like an idiot.
“Hey, what’s this?” he asked softly, placing me on my feet and cupping my chin so I couldn’t hide from him, gently wiping my tears.
“I don’t know,” I choked out, sniffing as I tried to control myself. I wasn’t sad or anything, but something just washed over me and forced it out.
“Move under the spray more, I’ll clean you up so we can get out,” he answered, kissing my nose that was now starting to hurt from the fight.
I stood there pathetically as tears leaked, letting him wash me in silence, and once he knew both of us were free of blood and cum, he switched the water off and stepped out to grab us both towels.
My hands worked, so I took it from him to dry myself, mentally scolding myself for needing to get a grip. I was tired, obviously emotional, and I’d bet money on my period coming back with a vengeance soon.
I hadn’t had one since getting pregnant, and it worried me a little bit.
“What’s on your mind?” Zavier asked, and I scrunched my nose and rubbed the towel over my legs.
“I haven’t had a period yet. I don’t know if that’s normal or not. I can’t be knocked up again, right?”
He eyed me, the towel he was drying himself with coming to a stop. “You haven’t?”
“You’ve been with me almost the whole time. You’d know if I had,” I snorted.
“It’s normal for it to go a little weird. What doctors have you been seeing? That’s something they should’ve told you. Maybe talk to Jade if you’re worried? I can run out and grab you some tests if you want to ease your mind?”
His casualness to the situation calmed me, and I blew out a breath. “I feel like a test will jinx us.”
“No, it will tell you yes or no to stop you from freaking the fuck out,” he said seriously, dropping the towel and taking my face in both hands. “Stop stressing. We’ll find out then figure out what to do depending on the answer.”
“Maybe that’s why I keep crying? Oh my God, Zav. I got knocked up again, didn’t I? I?—”
“Baby, stop,” he said a little sharply to cut through my panic, stroking my hair. “We’re fine. It’s been what, a month since the miscarriage? You’ve been through a lot of stress, so no wonder your hormones aren’t balancing properly. I’d bet money on it just being hormone issues.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. I was just stressed. “We should still test though, right?”
“I’ll go and get you one just so you stop worrying. Get dressed. The guys want to feed you,” he answered, grabbing my towel and finishing what I’d started, pressing a kiss to my collarbone.
He wrapped the towel around me and did the same with his so we could walk out and into the bedroom, and when Logan stood with the intention of joining us, most likely for some spicy time, Zavier shook his head.
Logan halted, a frown tugging at his mouth as Zavier ushered me into the bedroom, grabbing me some panties and a shirt so I was covered.
He got dressed, pulling me against him to drop a kiss on my forehead when he was done. “I’ll be back soon. I’ll take Ander.”
“Reid’s going to freak out again,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. I wanted to throw up at the thought.
“No, he’s not. No one’s freaking out, you included. It’s normal to not just go back to regular periods straight off the bat, Raven. Relax until I get back, then take the test so you have an answer.”
He kissed me again before leaving the room, closing the door behind him, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
The guys spoke in quiet voices in the other room, and I couldn’t hear them over the sound of my own heartbeat. The front door opened and closed, two seconds before the Supra started.
The bedroom door cracked open and Reid appeared, letting out a sigh when I visibly flinched. If he started yelling?—
“Come here,” he murmured, opening the door wider to step inside. When I hesitated, he stalked towards me and hauled me against him, hugging me tightly. “Everything’s okay.”
I ugly cried, realizing I’d been more worried about Reid’s reaction than the actual results, and he didn’t let me go until he heard the Supra outside as it returned.
Logan was lingering in the doorway, looking a little unsure on what to do, and he moved aside when Zavier and Ander appeared with a little bag in hand.
“Baby, I told you not to stress yourself out,” Zavier scolded gently, handing it to me. “Find out now, and whatever it says, we’ll be fine.”
I felt frozen in place, terrified of what the answer could be, and Reid carefully took the bag from my hands and steered me towards the bathroom. The others hung back as he locked us inside, pulling the small box out.
“You’re not watching me pee,” I said flatly as I reached for it, and he handed it over.
“It’s just pee.”
“Yeah, my pee. You have your own,” I grumbled, giving him the stink eye until he turned around to face the wall.
I quickly pulled the stick out and took the cap off, sitting on the toilet to pee on it, and making sure to replace the cap when I was done.
I grabbed some toilet paper and quickly wiped so I could put my panties back on, placing the stick on the counter and flushing the toilet.
Anxiety filled me as we waited, and Reid pulled me against him and grabbed my chin, making me look up at him. “I’m with you one hundred percent. No matter what.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Why are you quiet? What’s happening?” Logan asked through the door, rattling the handle.
“Give us a minute,” Reid barked, thankfully holding me up or my shaking legs definitely would’ve given out from under me.
Zavier scolded Logan, but I ignored them and took a small step forward, peeking at the test.
“What does it say?” Reid asked, his voice getting more panicked when I instantly started crying. “Raven?”
“I’m okay,” I choked out, the single line being the best thing in the entire fucking world right now. I could see the relief on his face, and he pulled me back towards him and gave me a quick kiss.
“Now we know the answer to that, can I please feed you? You’ll feel better, and then we can go to bed and snuggle.”
“Raven?” Logan’s voice was tight, and I moved to the door to open it, finding him right on the other side waiting.
“Negative,” I rushed out, not expecting to see a pained look cross his face.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Reid asked, stepping past me into the living room. “This is a good thing, dude. We’ll have our chance another day, but right now, Raven’s nine months out from starting college. We have people after us. We might have more money now, but broke is still broke.”
“I know,” he mumbled. “Does this mean we have to start using condoms again?”
They all seemed to be looking at me for an answer.
“No. I was worried Zav or Ander had managed to knock me up prior to the birth control kicking in properly, that’s all. I’ve been on it for a month now, it should be fine, right?”
“Remind me to buy ovulation kits so we know when not to do it,” Ander muttered, earning a swat from Reid.
“Food,” Zavier said as he stepped forward, taking my hand and gently pulling me towards the kitchen, putting me on a bar stool and grabbing a bowl of pasta out of the microwave for me. It was still pretty warm, telling me the guys had made it fresh.
He grabbed his as well, sitting down to eat with me since it seemed the others had eaten when we were in the shower, and I barely remembered going to bed.
I woke up at some point to Logan’s body shaking slightly next to mine, so I snuggled into him and kissed his shoulder, hearing him sniffle as he took my arm and held it across his chest tightly.
Reid was on his other side facing the wall, but he rolled over and encouraged him to come closer, both of us holding him together so he could fall apart in peace.