Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
RYAN
Something feels heavy in my chest as I shower and get ready for the day.
I don’t know if it’s a sense of impending doom or what, but I’m having a hard time breathing.
I’m not sure why. My body is sore everywhere, but that’s not what this is.
It’s inside of me, almost like something has filled my lungs, so I can’t inhale deeply.
Once I have some clothes on, I make my way into the living room. It’s empty, but when I take a few more steps forward, my lips curve up into a smile at the sight that greets me at the small kitchen table.
Adam and Grover sit together, eating pancakes and fruit. I frown, but only for a moment. Selfishly, I wonder why Grover didn’t tell me there was breakfast. Then my heart begins to beat rapidly when he lifts his head, his eyes find mine, and I can feel the anger pouring off him.
That anger is directed solely at me.
I know I have earned the anger. I’m just not sure why exactly.
Thankfully, Grover doesn’t make me wait to find out what he’s upset about. I don’t have to worry about walking toward him another step. He stands and moves in my direction, his feet carrying him quickly.
When he is within arm’s reach of me, he extends his arm, his palm pressing against my belly as he pushes me backward. As he shifts slightly, so do I, my feet scrambling beneath me as I am forced down the hallway and back into the bedroom.
The door slams behind him, and at the same time, my back crashes into a wall.
He doesn’t stop moving closer to me, though.
Only when his chest is touching mine and his nose is just centimeters away from my own does he speak, and when he does, it’s on a low hiss that is full of so much rage that I can practically taste it.
“Ellen was here,” he states.
It’s not a question. It is, without a doubt, a statement.
“She was,” I whisper.
His growl is low and feral. He sounds like an animal, but I don’t tell him that. Instead, I keep my lips pressed closed tightly as my eyes shift and attempt to focus on his, but his face is too close. I can’t really focus on anything.
My heart is slamming against my chest, and I wonder what he’s going to do next. When he lifts his hand, slamming it on the wall next to my face, I flinch. Then his nostrils flare, and he leans forward, his lips touching mine as he speaks.
“Do you think I would fucking hit you?” he asks.
I don’t tell him that he’s scaring the shit out of me and that I think anyone is capable of anything, no matter who they are, considering my own sister has essentially sold me out to her pimp to pay for her drug habit, and said pimp beat the shit out of me in an effort to scare me into submission.
I pretty much think anyone can and will do anything if they’re desperate enough.
But I don’t say any of that.
Instead, I whimper a soft no and hold my breath, waiting for what is coming. I have no idea why he’s so angry, but I could guess a few things. Instead of actually guessing, I just wait. He shifts backward slightly, his eyes searching mine for a silent moment, then he clears his throat.
“The fuck did Ellen want? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
My first reaction is to be a smart-ass, a complete and total smart-ass. I want to tell him to fuck himself, that he would probably have known Ellen was here if he had someone watching the house, but he didn’t.
He ran off all night long and didn’t even go to the store like he said he would. He just ran around doing whatever the fuck he was doing, then came home, fucked me, and fell asleep.
Although I don’t want to complain about the fucking part. I liked that. It hurt, it felt amazing, it was almost too much, but then it was sweet, and I really don’t want to stain that or fight about it because I liked it.
I want to push him away. He’s too close for this, but I don’t dare attempt it. “Ellen came here and wanted me to open the door. She wanted to talk to me.”
“And?” Grover grinds out.
“And I refused to open the door. Eventually, she left.”
“That’s it?” he asks.
“That’s it.”
He doesn’t say anything more as he watches me. I don’t know if he’s looking for a lie, but I’m telling the truth. He leans forward again, his nose touching mine, but he doesn’t kiss me. Instead, his warm breath washes over my face.
I inhale him.
“Grover,” I exhale.
“I want to believe you, but you enable her.”
I close my eyes. I want to tell him that he can trust me, but I can’t say that. Because he can’t trust me. I’m not trustworthy. I’m standing in front of him with a secret. One that I’m not ready to confess just yet.
“I do,” I agree. “But what I don’t do is put my son in danger. And there is no way I was going to open the door to her, not knowing if Golden Joker was hiding around the corner to snatch me or not.”
We stare at one another in silence. I’m not sure if he’s going to speak.
Maybe he’s going to just walk away. I would be okay with that.
I’m kind of over talking about any of this.
I want to be done with Ellen and her pimp.
I want to start my new life. Or maybe this is the continuation of the life I was always supposed to have.
I don’t know what I expect, but when Grover moves toward me again, his mouth slamming against my own, my mouth opens with a gasp. His tongue fills my mouth as his fingers wrench down my leggings.
When his hand slides between my legs, his fingers touch that perfect sweet spot, my clit. And I swear I see stars. I rip my mouth away from his, causing my head to bounce off the wall, but I ignore the sharp pain.
Grover’s hands grip my hips and lift me off my feet. I wrap my legs around his waist, grab his shoulders with my fingers, and hold on to him as he presses my back against the wall. He shifts my top up, exposing my breasts to him.
He tastes like pancakes and syrup. He’s almost too sweet, but I can’t get enough of him. Then I feel the head of his cock against my center.
I’m sore, and I know it’s going to burn when he buries himself inside of me, but I want it. Lifting my hips, I try to take him in, my body aching for him.
My pussy clenches. I want him inside of me. I want to feel him move. I want it all, and I want it right now. I didn’t remember this sensation. I didn’t realize that I had this need inside of me, the need of him—of Grover.
I missed him, but this isn’t the exact same as it used to be. This, being with him now, it’s rougher—it’s better. I didn’t think it was possible. I thought I knew everything there was to know about him. That I knew every one of his moods and moves.
But I knew nothing.
Or maybe I just don’t know who he is anymore. Maybe we’ve both changed so much that this can’t be something we just pick up where we left off. Maybe it has to be starting all over again, brand new or… newish anyway.
ATOMIC
I should not be fucking her right now. She’s got to be sore as absolute fuck. But at the same time, I can’t stop myself. Sliding inside of her body, I can’t take my eyes off hers. I watch as she flinches with pain, which is a hell of a lot better than her flinching in fear.
Ryan lets out a hiss when I’m fully seated inside of her, to the root. I don’t move immediately. I allow her to adjust to my intrusion, unlike last night when I just took from her. This feels different.
Leaning forward slightly, I turn my head and touch my mouth to hers again.
I’ve kissed her. Tasted her. But for whatever reason, this seems different, too.
Maybe it’s the morning light, maybe it’s the fact that Ellen found her, which means she’s been following her…
which means that fucking pimp has been following her.
I’m concerned.
I’m not ever fucking concerned.
Resting my forehead against hers, I move inside of her. My hips are slow, my rhythm steady. Pressing my chest against hers, I slide my hands from her waist to the underside of her thighs and spread her wide as I continue.
Ryan’s nails dig even harder into my flesh. I’m sure she’s fucking breaking skin. With my pants around my ankles and my chest smashing her tits, I’m sure we make quite the picture. But I’m close, and so is she. I can feel her cunt fluttering around my dick with each downstroke.
“Are you going to come all over me, legs?” I ask.
She whimpers in response. I think about demanding more from her but decide against it. Grinding my pelvis against her clit with each stroke, I open my eyes, watching the way I move inside of her, the way she takes me, the wetness that coats my dick—her wetness.
“Come all over me,” I demand, gripping the backs of her thighs tighter. “Show me what a good girl you can be for me.”
She whimpers. Her breathing comes out in pants. Then she trembles, her entire body convulsing as she comes. It’s hard and fast. Her cunt squeezes the absolute fuck out of my dick in an attempt to hold me deep inside of her.
It doesn’t work. I move, my hips thrusting hard and fast as I chase my own orgasm. When I come, I swear to fuck, I see stars. It’s amazing, beautiful even. I think it might even be better than last night, something I didn’t think was possible.
But fuck me, this woman owns every goddamn inch of me.
Staying buried inside of her as my cock twitches and I empty myself into her body, I shift my head and bury my face into her neck. Tasting her there, I moan before I force myself to release her, letting her feet drop to the floor and find her balance.
Lifting my gaze to meet hers, I look into her eyes before I pick my jeans up from the floor and fasten them. She tugs her leggings up and straightens her top. Other than her ruffled hair and swollen lips, she looks exactly like she did a few minutes ago before I was balls deep inside of her.
“From now on, you have twenty-four-seven protection. I fucked up yesterday. I got busy with someone for the club and forgot to call a guard. I won’t let that happen again.”
Her eyes widen, and she dips her chin in a single nod, opening her mouth to say something, but then closes it. I start to ask her what she wants to say, but she clears her throat instead, her eye searching mine as she moves toward me.
Ryan lifts her hand, her palm cupping my cheek. I almost shift away from her touch but instead, arch a brow as I watch her. I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing, but at the same time, I like the way she looks at me.
I don’t know if she sees me the way it feels like she does, but when her eyes are on me this way, she’s perfection. I feel like this is not the woman I had in my bed when she was eighteen.
This.
Her.
Us.
It’s bigger than anything else I’ve ever felt. I didn’t know it could be this way. That I could feel… at all.
But it does. And I can. I don’t want to lose her. Not to some fucked-up pimp. Not because of her fucked-up, manipulative sister. I fucking refuse. If I lose her, it will be my own goddamn doing, acting like a fucking idiot. I won’t let that shit happen, though. Not again. Never again.