Chapter 24
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR
ATOMIC
Ryan is silent as I drive to the donut shop, then slide through the coffee drive-through before heading back to our place.
Nash’s bike is parked out front when we arrive, and everything seems exactly the way it should, which eases my mind that that fucker didn’t come here while I was dealing with that cunt.
“Grover,” she whispers.
I grip the steering wheel tightly as I turn my head to look at her. Arching a brow, I watch her and wait for whatever the fuck she has to say to me. She shifts her attention over to the house, then slowly brings it back to meet mine.
“I saw you with Ellen,” she murmurs.
I hum instead of saying anything. I’m not sure I have anything to say about that. I was with Ellen, and I threw her ass into a locked room. Where I plan to kill her later. And kill her, I will. But not until I have her pimp in hand as well.
“What did you do with her?” she asks on a whisper.
I watch as she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip as she waits for me to tell her something. To explain myself. But I’m not going to do that. She doesn’t need to know every fucking thing I do.
“She’s safe,” I state. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore, though. But also, I need you to pack some things because I want you and Adam at the clubhouse until I find that pimp.”
Ryan dips her chin in a single nod. “So you’re putting us on lockdown?” she asks.
“I am.”
Her tongue slips out, and I watch as it slides across her bottom lip. I want to bite that lip and suck that tongue. But I don’t. I control myself, though barely. I smile as I watch her for a silent moment. She is not happy about being on lockdown, and I don’t blame her.
That club is not a place for a kid, but there’s nothing I can do about that.
This is our life.
“Okay,” she says. “But I don’t think I can allow Adam to stay for long.”
“I’m sure,” I murmur. “Hopefully, it won’t take long. I don’t plan on allowing the fuck to go free for more than a few more hours. I just have to track his ass down. I have no doubt he’s here somewhere, though.”
“Good. Then we can be done?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me about your sister?” I ask.
She watches me in silence for a moment, then she lets out a heavy sigh. “The reality is that I lost my sister eleven years ago, maybe even before that. I thought I could save her, and I wasted years of my life trying to do just that, and all she was doing was using and manipulating me.”
“Yeah,” I rasp. “I think we do that when we love someone.”
“Like the way I let you walk all over me?” She arches a brow.
I snort. “Yeah, legs. Something like that. Except you walked away from me.”
“And now I’m back.”
I hum, lifting my hand from the steering wheel and reaching over to cup her cheek. I slide my thumb across her bottom lip. I can’t tear my gaze from hers. “Yeah, but I had to bring you back. And I’m never letting you go, no matter how much you kick, scream, and fight me.”
“I don’t want to fight you, Grover.”
Leaning forward, I touch my lips to hers in a brush of a kiss. “You ain’t fightin’ shit, legs. You’re mine, and I’m going to keep you safe.”
“Thanks,” she exhales against my mouth.
Leaning back, I open the car door and unfold from the front seat. I close it and jog around the front of the car, reach for the passenger handle, and tug it open. Ryan shifts, placing her feet on the ground, then slowly stands, holding the coffees and box of donuts in her hands.
I take the coffee from her hands, and we move toward the house. Glancing around, I check to see if that idiot pimp is anywhere nearby. I don’t know why, but I feel like he’s watching us. I look at Ryan, who doesn’t seem bothered at all.
I need to get them locked away so I can focus on this and only this. Using my house key, I let us inside. I expect the house to be completely quiet, but it’s not. I can hear Nash laughing, and then the sound of some cartoon noise in the background.
We move through the house and step into the living room. Nash is sitting in the corner of the sofa, his eyes on the screen in front of him, and Adam is sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, his cars on top as he holds one in his grip while looking up at the screen.
Those fucking police animals are on television, and Nash chuckles, lifting his chin toward me when he realizes we’ve approached. “Mornin’.”
“Enjoying the cartoon?” I ask.
He jerks his chin. “This is wild. What the fuck will they come up with next?”
“No damn clue, and he loves it,” I say.
Adam turns his head, his eyes widening as he realizes that we’re here, not having heard us walk into the room because he was completely and totally lost in his show. He smiles, stands, and without speaking, he hurries toward me, wrapping his arms around my legs.
“Hey, Dad.”
I don’t know why. I’m not sure why the fuck this moment makes me weak in the knees, but it does. Maybe it’s because I’m his dad. I’m his real father. Not just playing at it, but biologically. I told myself it didn’t matter, and I don’t think it would have, but the fact that I am, it does now.
Crouching down in front of him, careful not to spill the coffee, I give him a smile. “You have a good night?” I ask.
His gaze flicks over to Nash, then back to mine. “I did. Uncle Nash is fun. He says a lot of bad words.”
My eyes widen, because I have no doubt this kid has heard all those same words from me in the short amount of time we’ve spent together. But it’s Ryan who bursts out laughing. She reaches out to touch Adam’s cheek.
“I have donuts,” she calls out. “Go to the table.”
Adam takes a step backward, lifts his arms in the air, and cries out the word donuts before he runs toward the table. I can’t help but smile at the kid. He’s cute as fuck. Maybe just because he’s mine, but maybe just because he’s that damn cute.
Nash jerks his chin toward me, and I look at Ryan. She smiles, reaching out and taking her coffee before she brushes past me and heads straight for the table with Adam. I watch for a moment as she takes out plates and they choose their donuts.
Fucking hell, I never thought I would be here, in a house with a woman who puts donuts on a damn plate, and I love it. I love every single second of it. There is nothing about this scenario that I don’t fucking adore, except for the fact that I wish I’d always had it. I wish it weren’t brand new.
I wish a lot of fucking things.
But at the same time, I would not appreciate this moment right here nearly as much if I had always had it at the tips of my fingers. I have to keep telling myself that, either because it’s the truth or it’s what I need to believe.
Either way, it’s what I am choosing to believe from now on. No more angry regrets, no more guilt or shaming. This life is the way it is for a reason, and I’m going to embrace it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Because Ryan is embracing my good, bad, and ugly for a second time. And that makes her a goddamn saint.
RYAN
Watching out of the corner of my eye, I observe as Nash and Grover sit on the sofa talking, leaning close together and murmuring their words.
I have no doubt they’re talking about Ellen and the fact that Grover snatched her from outside the clubhouse gate and literally dragged her ass away and into some kind of holding room.
Nash stands to his feet, his eyes find mine, and he jerks his chin, his eyes searching my own. “Pack your bag.”
I almost laugh but decide against it. Instead, I bite the inside of my cheek and nod once. I can tell that there is more than just this idiot pimp and my strung-out sister. This feels bigger than just them.
Standing, I touch Adam’s shoulder and tell him I’ll be back soon.
I hurry toward the bedroom, grab my suitcase, the one I just unpacked a few days ago, and pack it again.
I was hoping to start work at the bakery soon.
I was hoping to get Adam in his new school so he could be around some kids his age.
I was hoping for a lot.
Instead, I’m left feeling a sense of gloom and doom.
I hate that.
It doesn’t take me long to pack my bag. I don’t need much down there.
It’s not like I’ll be able to go anywhere but the kitchen and the bar.
Just the thought of being stuck there makes me feel sick.
It shouldn’t. None of those men would do anything to me or Adam.
They’ll protect us with their lives, but that’s not what bothers me.
It’s the women.
The whores.
And then there is the fact that my sister is there.
Maybe that’s what is bothering me the most about this. My sister is there. I shouldn’t care, and I’ve decided that what she’s done is unforgivable and that I won’t allow her to manipulate me any longer. However, she’s still my sister. And as strong as I think I am, I know I’m not inhuman.
Once I have everything packed, for not only myself but also for Adam, I make sure to throw some of his favorite cars, coloring books, and puzzles into his bag, along with some DVDs, knowing that it’s no doubt going to be boring as hell locked in that place for God knows how long.
“I’m ready,” I call out as I step into the living room.
Nash, Grover, and Adam are all sitting on the sofa.
Nash and Grover are still drinking their coffees, and Adam is watching another cartoon.
This one is about Star Wars or something.
I don’t really pay attention to them, but apparently, it’s very interesting because none of them move when I walk into the room and make my announcement.
“Are you ready?” I ask?
Slowly, all three of them turn to look at me, and they all wear different expressions of surprise on their faces. I almost laugh but decide against it. When I open my mouth to ask them something else, there is a knock on the front door that interrupts my question.
Though I don’t even know what it was going to be, not that it matters now, because that knock scares the absolute crap out of me, and every single thought in my head vanishes in an instant. My entire body is filled with ice.
My veins, my heart, my stomach. Every inch of me is a block of ice.
Nash and Grover stand to their feet. Grover moves toward the door, and Nash steps between me and Grover, a shield that keeps me safe from whatever is on the other side of that doorway.
I don’t know what it could be, and I don’t want to know either.
Honestly, I’m ready to get to the clubhouse and be locked inside, surrounded by dozens of scary mean bikers, even if it means being surrounded by their whores as well.
I can deal with that. I’d rather be stressed about them, annoyed and irritated at their existence, instead of this situation I’m standing in right now.
“What the fuck?” Grover grinds out.
It’s a man’s voice, but I don’t recognize it immediately. Clearly, it’s not Golden Joker because I have that asshole’s voice burned into my memory banks. I’ll probably never forget what he sounds like, not until the day I die.
Which, all in all, pisses me off because I was all ready for it to be him and this to be finished. I just want to be done and move on with my life with Grover. I kind of like the little life I’ve started to build with him. I want to keep it, nurture it.
I want everything, and I think I’ve lived enough of a life where I haven’t had much that I deserve. I deserve everything that I not only need but want, too. I’m going to be selfish when it comes to my family, what I want, and what I deserve. What my son deserves.
“Who is it?” I call out.
Grover turns his head. His eyes find mine, and he narrows them. “It’s your goddamn mother.”
Holy shit.
What the fuck is absolutely correct.