Chapter 26
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
RYAN
“I brought cupcakes because I heard you’re locked in, and honestly, I don’t know what to do when something is all up in the air, so I bake,” Shawn announces as she walks into the kitchen with a pink bakery box in hand.
“I’m going to be a million pounds if you keep supplying me with treats,” I say as she approaches me.
She shrugs a shoulder, placing the box down with one hand and her other hand on her round belly as her eyes meet mine. “You could just get pregnant again, and then poof, snack city.”
I burst out laughing just as Adam reaches for the box. “Can I?” he asks.
“May you, and yes, but only one.”
He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, his eyes focused on the box as he attempts to make the best choice possible, meaning taking the biggest one there is in the box.
I only know this is what he’s thinking and doing because it’s exactly what I do.
When he finally settles on one, he sinks back onto his stool and happily munches on the oversized cookie.
“No pregnancy for me anytime soon, but I’m excited to hold a new baby again. It seems like it’s been a lifetime,” I say with a smile.
Shawn smiles, shrugging a shoulder. “So, how long do you have to stay?” she asks, switching topics.
“Until he’s found,” I whisper, lifting my fingers to my face to touch the bruising that is still around my eye.
It’s not as bad as it was, but it’s not completely healed either.
I don’t know how long it takes for this kind of massive bruising to heal, but it feels like it’s taking forever.
A lifetime almost. I think about calling Rose to tell her that I miss her, but I don’t want to worry her.
She would hear it in my voice, the panic, the worry, the absolute lost feeling that is inside of me.
“Atomic won’t take long. I don’t think he’s going to let this guy run free for more than a few days. He’s playing with him.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that Golden Joker, while an asshole and stupid as shit, is also mean and cruel. He is, without a doubt, playing with Atomic, me, with everyone, and now that I’ve laid eyes on my mother again, he’s likely playing her, too.
“Yeah,” I exhale.
“Besides,” she begins, “he won’t want you and Adam here long with all of the… festivities.”
Festivities is right. Wrinkling my nose, I reach for a cookie of my own, unable to resist the sweet temptation in front of me, the smell overpowering my senses. I’m not even sure what to do here.
I have my son, who seems happy for now, but after a couple of hours, he’s going to be tired of being cooped up. Adam likes to run and play. He’s a kid through and through. Only so much screen time, toys, and coloring can entertain him before he needs to run.
He reminds me of his father that way.
Never content to sit and do anything, always needing to run, to ride, to be free. And I don’t blame him, really. I am much the same way. I feel bad that Adam has two parents who can’t seem to sit still.
Shawn’s eyes catch mine as she reaches for a cupcake. I watch as she brings the pink frosted cake to her lips.
“Have you thought about the future after this?” Shawn asks. “I mean, when you’re finished running and hiding. Are you going to do what you did before?”
“Work as a school secretary?” I ask. Shaking my head, I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, my eyes focused on hers. “I’m going to be working in your bakery,” I say with a smile.
She doesn’t say anything immediately, but her brows snap together, and her eyes are focused on mine. “You can’t work in my bakery,” she says on a whisper. “That’s a teenage girl’s job. You need something that is going to pay the bills.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that paying the bills doesn’t matter right now. This is about survival, and all I can do is work at her bakery. It’s all I have. It might be all I’ll ever have at this rate.
“Ryan,” Shawn snaps, causing me to lift my eyes to hers. I am jolted from my thoughts before she continues. “Once that jerk is found, you’re home free, babe. You can have the life you want, the one that you dream of.”
I don’t tell her the truth. I don’t tell her that a girl like me has no ambitions other than to survive. There are no bakeries or shops in my future. I won’t open a boutique or do anything in my life. The best I can hope for is to raise my son without a lifetime of pain, abuse, and trauma.
I’m honestly not sure if I’m even winning at that.
I’m probably not, especially after the last few weeks.
Sucking in a deep breath, I hold it for a moment, then let it out slowly. She reaches across the counter and wraps her fingers around mine.
“I know we don’t know one another well, but trust me when I say that we are a lot alike, and you can have a career. You can have whatever you want, Ryan. It’s all right here, at the tips of your fingers.”
She’s right. And I don’t know why I’m standing here taking life and career advice from someone six years younger than me, but she’s got her shit a little more together than I do.
I should feel bad about that, maybe embarrassed, but we all have different paths, and she’s got a lot more ambition than I do.
“Ambition? Yes. But also, I didn’t have a baby to worry about. My business was all I had until I met the Dark Horse MC.”
I press my lips together. “Until you met the Dark Horse MC?” I ask.
“Atomic saved my business. He suggested taking my desserts to the farmers’ market because he loves it there, and my business started booming. I would have already closed my door if it weren’t for him. We all need help, Ryan. You’re no different.”
I’m not any different. I’m not anything, anyone special.
I know that as well as anyone else. I know that wasn’t her point exactly, but I also know that it’s the way it is.
I’m not special. I never have been. I also should accept help where it’s offered because I know it isn’t always offered in life.
“So what do I do?” I ask.
She smiles. “What’s your passion?”
Shifting my gaze to Adam, I smile as I slide my eyes back to meet Shawn’s. “Before Adam, I was Atomic’s woman. I’ve never had a passion, Ryan. I’ve worked odd jobs. School secretary was the best because of the schedule. I don’t have a passion.”
“Then we’ll find it. We will figure it out—together.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Shawn’s lips curve up into a wide smile. “Because I’ve never had a sister, and I’ve always wanted one. I think we could be sisters.”
Reaching for her wrist, I curl my fingers around her and squeeze gently. “I have a sister by birth, but I got a crappy one. I’d be proud to have you as my chosen sister.”
She smiles then sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, releasing it before she speaks. “I have a brother by birth, and trust me when I say that I got a crappy one. So I am glad you agree to be my chosen sister.”
And that is how Grover finds us, eating treats and grinning at one another like the happiest fools on earth.
ATOMIC
“What a fuckin’ sight,” I announce as I walk into the kitchen to find Shawn, Ryan, and Adam snacking on desserts. The women seem to be conspiring, though I doubt it’s anything serious.
As I move through the kitchen, my focus shifts from the entirety of the room to just her. Just Ryan. When I’m close enough to touch her, I lift my arm and wrap it around her waist, roughly tugging her against my chest. Tilting my head to the side, I touch my mouth to hers in a hard, owning kiss.
“Grover,” she exhales.
“I have to handle some shit. Don’t know when I’ll be back,” I murmur against her lips.
She opens her mouth but doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, she closes her mouth, presses her lips together, and watches me, waiting for an explanation. She won’t get it. I know what I’m going to go and do, but she doesn’t need to worry about it or me.
“You be good, little man,” I say, shifting my attention to Adam.
He lifts his head and grins at me, then nods once before he turns back to his cookie. I release Ryan then take a step backward, turning to walk out of the kitchen when I hear her sweet voice call out my name.
Looking back over my shoulder, my eyes find hers and hold them. “Be safe,” she whispers.
“You know I will.”
Leaving the kitchen, I head straight for the room where Ellen is being held. I haven’t asked her where this pimp is yet, and she wouldn’t answer me without being prodded either. It’s time to prod.
The prospect standing guard at her door jerks his chin as I unlock and open it before stepping inside. Ellen is sitting in the corner, shaking as she scratches at her arms. The room smells like piss and vomit. That doesn’t surprise me since she hasn’t had any drugs. She’s detoxing already.
“Where is he?” I demand.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I look down my nose into her face. She narrows her gaze on me as she looks up. “I don’t have to tell you shit,” she snarls.
“No,” I agree. “You don’t.”
“But?” she asks when I don’t say anything else.
Watching her, I wonder what the fuck went wrong. I know she’s been on drugs, but I’m not even talking about that. She was beautiful eleven years ago when she walked into our clubhouse and decided she wanted to stay.
But Ryan had the same upbringing as Ellen and didn’t end up on my floor, looking like warmed-over fucking death. Detoxing from whatever poisonous shit is flowing through her veins. And judging by the way she appears, I’m going to guess she ain’t just doing a little blow and weed.
“But you’ll both die anyway. It’ll just be a slower and more painful death for you if you don’t tell me.”
“Bullshit,” she grinds out.
Shaking my head slowly, I crouch down in front of her. Fuck, she already smells half-dead. I would be doing her a goddamn favor to end her here and now. I should just fucking do it and be done with her ass, but if she’s going to help me out with finding that pimp, I’m going to welcome that.
“Fuck you, Atomic… oh, wait,” she says with a wide smile. “I already did. I seem to recall how much you loved my pussy, my ass, and my mouth. Why don’t you send in Ryan so I can give her some pointers on what you really like?”
My lips curve up into a smile, and I snort. “Bitch, you think you can piss me off, that you can rattle me? You can’t. What you’re talking about was a fucking lifetime ago. Don’t tell me you enjoy being tortured.”
Standing, I turn to walk away. I wrap my fingers around the handle of the door and start to turn it before I tug it open, and that’s when she decides she doesn’t want to be tortured. She calls out for me, and I face her again.
“He’s staying at the motel near the warehouses. He’s been watching your every move.”
Instead of responding to her in any way whatsoever, I continue walking through the door, closing and locking it behind me, giving the prospect a reminder that he isn’t to open it for anything. Absolutely fucking any reason at all.
Then I head straight for my bike outside. King is there, along with a dozen brothers. We’re done. Completely and totally done with this shit. Inhaling a deep breath, I hold it as I climb onto my bike.
“Do you know where he is?” King asks.
“Motel by the warehouse. Let’s fucking go,” I grind out.
“Let’s goooo,” Brew calls out.
We climb on our bikes, strapped down with at least two guns and two knives each, ready to take down this fucking low-life piece-of-shit pimp and whoever he has with him because I know he’s not man enough to come here alone.