22. Jake
Chapter 22
Jake
O n the day I came to live with the Fansees, they sat me down. The other kids had already gone to bed. Emerson was always a total nerd, so one word sent him away. Bea initially argued to stay with me, but she disappeared after the look . Seren still has the power to make all of us listen, at least while we think she’s close enough that she could come after us. I’m not sure what I think she might do, but that look still promises something very, very bad.
Sitting alone, across from the people I’d tried to steal from, and whom I was now through a bizarre twist of fate living with, I remember thinking that I would never believe a single thing they told me. I had a lot of guesses about what they’d say now that everyone else wasn’t watching.
No social workers.
No friends.
No semi-siblings.
No one would believe a word I said, but I knew how to handle that. One of the first things my dad taught me to do was record a conversation without the people who were listening knowing. Then, whatever they said—or did—I could prove it. If I had to, I could use it to get a new home placement. Better yet, I could use it to blackmail them into doing what I wanted in the future.
“I’m sure you’re scared,” Seren said. “I’m sure you’re hurting. I’m so sorry that your father had to go to prison.” She was actually crying. I was very impressed. Legitimate con artists sometimes have trouble summoning believable tears without a lot of irritating histrionics first.
Dave patted her shoulder.
She shook her head and swiped at her eyes. “Tonight, I’m going to tell you a few things, things you might be horrified to hear. I’m going to tell you my deepest fears and my deepest secrets, because you’re family now.”
Was she serious? I thought they were sly, but I was beginning to think they were idiots. Revealing secrets to people they barely knew? Dad would, at least, be pleased.
“A few years ago, before I ever met Dave, I was married.” She sniffed. “I was the one who rented the car for a family trip we went on. I was married, and my husband and my parents, my grandparents and my siblings all went on a trip with me.” She bit her lip. “And I knew my dad had been drinking. Not much, and I thought he was fine, but I should have asked.”
I blinked. “Asked what?”
“He had back pain,” she said. “Chronic back pain. I should’ve asked whether he’d taken a pain pill that morning and exactly how much he’d had to drink. But he was my dad. It might have embarrassed him in front of my husband, so I kept quiet.” Her tears are quietly rolling down her cheeks now.
Dave’s eyes welled with tears, too. Those two were a real pair.
She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, and then she sniffed again. When she looked back at me, she nodded slowly. “If I had said something, my dad might not have gotten in a wreck. Because I kept my mouth shut, everyone in our van died, and everyone in the car we hit died too. Everyone except me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Including my unborn child.” Her hands went to her belly.
In that moment, I realized she was serious. This wasn’t made up.
“I—” She dropped her face in her hands for a moment.
“When we met, Seren thought she’d never have kids, and that was all she’d ever wanted,” Dave said, taking over while she calmed down.
I could see her having ‘mother’ as her highest goal in life. Kind of sad, I thought.
“Because of the surgery they did to save me, doctors told me I could never have children in the future either. I had done it to myself—I had killed everyone I ever loved.” Seren leaned toward me, her face puffy, and her lip trembling. “When I tell you this, know I mean it, Jake. You’re going to make mistakes. You might even do bad things on purpose to see whether we really mean what we’re saying.”
“I thought it sounded nuts at first,” Dave said, “when Seren told me she loved Emerson. She’d just met the kid, but she knew.”
“I felt the same way about Bea,” she said. “And also, when we met you and realized what you’d be dealing with.”
I can’t help my snort. There’s no way these people could love me. They might hate me, but we just met. You can’t love someone you just met.
“I know love sounds like a big word,” Dave said. “And believe me, I was as skeptical as you, but I’ve learned to trust this woman and her big heart. The moment she saw Emerson, her heart said mine. I thought she was a little crazy then, but she was right. God has given her children, and even if she didn’t give birth to them, when she sees them, her heart knows.”
She scooted toward the edge of the sofa. “Jake, I know you have a dad.” She frowned. “And I know this might seem strange to you, but you are my son. No matter what you do, no matter what happens in your life, no matter who else may show up, you will always be my son . You can test it however you want, and you can make any mistakes you need to make, and there will be consequences for your actions, but I will be here for you through it all, always. No matter what.”
Sometimes when I get really depressed, I listen to that conversation.
I was glad I recorded it for a very different reason than I expected. And I did test them, over and over. But today’s test feels harder somehow. They’ve always known my dad was a criminal, but they didn’t know how bad it was. They didn’t know anything about my real parents.
Will it change things? Will Seren’s face fall? Will she give up on me, once she knows where I really came from? Octavia insists I text them on our way over, telling them the two of us are coming and asking if they’re around.
Within two minutes, they’ve both texted back.
Yes. Please come.
Even so, when we show up, I’m nervous. I ball my hands into fists and release them. I fidget with the gear knob on my car. I button the top button on my shirt and then unbutton it. When I put the car into park, Octavia drops her hand on mine. “Jake.”
I turn toward her.
“They aren’t going to care. They know and love you .”
“But I don’t have a plan yet for how to deal with my dad. How do you think they’ll feel when the news is released and the public hates me, and maybe also the people who took me in? What if it ruins their hotel business?”
Octavia laughs, and it’s a high and melodic sound. “Oh, Jake. You’re worrying about things that won’t happen, I promise.”
“But they could. My dad’s a bad person.”
“Your uncle’s not a great person,” she says, “but he was never your dad. Dave is, and you take after him.”
I frown.
She wipes the wrinkles from my forehead and tosses her head. “Let’s go.”
It’s good I brought her, because she has to drag me to the house. Thanks to the stupid Ring, they open the door the second we arrive.
“Hey,” Seren says. “Come on in.” She’s smiling, but it’s a sad smile, like she knows it’s going to be a hard visit.
“I’m happy to see that you’re with Octavia again,” Dave says. “I’m still hoping you’ll come through that door soon to tell me you’re getting married.”
“Maybe we get through Bea’s wedding before we start talking about another one,” Seren says. For the first time ever, I notice wrinkles on the corners of her eyes and a few faint lines on her forehead. I wonder what kind of toll my actions have taken on her.
I feel bad about it.
“Jake here was trained from an early age to run away after doing something he shouldn’t have done,” Octavia says. “It’s just what he does naturally, but today, he’s here, and he has something to tell you guys.”
“Is this about the funnel?” Dave arches his eyebrow. “Because Killian finally came clean about it last week.”
I’m going to kill him. “Uh, no.”
“Alright,” Seren says. “Let’s sit.”
“Is it about the jar that?—”
Seren grabs his arm. “Stop, Dave. Let him talk.”
Octavia’s laughing for some reason. “By all means, let’s focus, but I also want to come back to these other things when we’re done. I have some questions of my own about what Jake was like when he was small.”
“Exactly the same, but the dimples looked bigger because he was smaller, and his stories were slightly less outrageous back then.”
Seren whaps Dave. “Stop.”
Dave shrugs. “Fine, I’m stopping.”
“I—” I’m not sure where to start. I glance at Octavia helplessly.
“Jake found out recently that his dad wasn’t his dad.” She arches one eyebrow. “I’m a little sore about it, because instead of telling me what he learned, he dumped me.” She folds her arms. “But when you love someone, you come help them even when you’re annoyed by something.”
Seren grins at me.
“So he’s just as stupid now as he was then.” Dave shakes his head. “What a shame.” But he’s smiling.
“My real birth father was?—”
“The most notorious serial killer in North America,” Dave says. “We know.”
A chill runs up my entire body, and for the first time in my entire life I burst into spontaneous tears without forcing it. “You—you knew?”
Seren’s lips compress and her head tilts. “Oh, Jake.” She lunges at me and hugs me. From right next to me, her voice is very, very clear. “You were never really his kid. You’ve always been my baby.”
My tears turn into sobs, but she never lets go. She pats my back. “I told you that on the first day you came to live with us, and I meant it then.”
“We found all that out before we took you on,” Dave says. “The social workers had your file—it came out in the investigation. Your dad thought he’d covered it up, but they fingerprint people who are born into the system. Before they took you from your mother, you were printed, and it was a pretty easy connection for them to make.”
My voice comes out a little strangled, even as I’m choking back my emotion to try and get ahold of myself. Men do not sob like idiots, and Octavia’s right there. “You knew before you took me in?”
Seren finally releases me, but she doesn’t sit down. Her hand cups my cheek. “I was trying to tell you that first day—no matter what you think, no matter what the world says, no matter what you do, you’re mine, and I love you, and I don’t care about anything else.”
“I love your mom. She’s the best,” Octavia whispers. Then she turns toward Seren and raises her voice. “In fact, do you feel anything from your heart when you look at me? Because I could definitely go for a trade-in on my mother.”
Dave and Seren’s faces look horrified at first, and then they realize she’s kidding. The laughter’s uproarious, from all of us.
“We’ll always be here for you too,” Seren says, “but I think if we tried to adopt you, Jake might never talk to us again.”
“Yeah, I’m not dating my sister.”
“I heard a rumor that you actually tried to confess your feelings to Bea.” Dave’s clearly trying really hard not to laugh.
“I’m a smart guy,” I say, “but I’ve had my share of damage. I got confused, and Bea slapped me upside the head, mostly metaphorically.”
“She told me,” Octavia says. “She said you don’t share well, so in spite of never once making any advances or moves, when Easton came along, you got jealous of her time and wanted to keep your favorite toy for yourself.”
Dave and Seren are actually laughing harder. “I actually did not hear that part, but boy is she smart.”
“All our kids are,” Seren says.
“Well, Killian’s cute, at least,” Dave says.
Seren smacks him, but I notice she doesn’t argue. Poor Killie. “Alright. Well.”
I try to stand up, but Octavia and Seren each yank me back down. “You can’t just leave,” Octavia says. “Not unless you’re ditching me. I demand another game of Settlers.”
“Oh, ho, ho,” Dave says, “but you can’t possibly win now. We’re onto your wily ways.”
Boy is he wrong. The game is almost a repeat of the last time.
“Maybe she just has a real, genuine talent for Settlers.” Seren’s frowning at the board, clearly counting the points. “When did she buy those cards? And why were they all victory points? All I ever get are stupid cards that move the robber.”
Dave laughs. “Some people are just blessed.” He leans back in his chair. “And although we’ve lost to Octavia twice now, I think it might be us.”
Seren smiles. “Yes, I think you’re right.”
“But what are we going to do about my dad?” I ask.
“We need a new name for him,” Octavia says. “Because I’m not calling him that anymore.”
“We can call him my uncle,” I say. “That’s what I usually do, when I remember.”
“He doesn’t deserve that,” Octavia mutters.
“I think he cared about me in his own twisted way,” I say. “I’m not sure he knew how to do any better.”
“He’s a good looking, smart guy, but he’s a manipulative and vengeful one, too,” Seren says. “I say we call him your uncle. It’ll honor that he tried, possibly, but that he’s not your dad and he was never honest in the way he treated you or the things he told you.”
“Sure.” I nod. “He can be my crazy uncle.”
“Wait,” Dave says. “You already have a few of those.”
“Bentley,” Seren says, “is definitely already your crazy uncle.”
“I don’t think he likes me much,” I admit.
Dave shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “For an intuitive guy, you struggle at reading honest people. Bentley loves you for just who you are.”
“You should hear him brag about you,” Seren says. “He’s always going on about his famous nephew.”
“Actually, that gives me an idea,” Dave says, “of how we can deal with your uncle.”
His smile makes me nervous, but not as nervous as Octavia’s. “I wonder if we have the same idea.”