Chapter One
JAMES
Three months earlier.
Boston
T here was one reason and one reason only why I was at my father’s law office today.
The woman who birthed me. My mother asked me to see him, so I agreed, even though I’d rather take a swim in the Charles River.
That I would prefer immersing myself into a polluted-as-fuck body of water to meeting with my dad, spoke volumes.
The truth? I loved my mother, but I couldn’t say the same about my father. Harsh as it was to acknowledge, pragmatism told me I wasn’t the first son to feel this way about a parent. History was filled with examples.
I dreaded this meeting because I knew whatever message he wanted to deliver to me personally wasn’t anything I’d want to hear.
Nothing he ever imparted was good news, but this felt like walking into an ambush.
To say we had a stiff relationship was a polite way of describing it.
I kept myself guarded because I had to. If your father sat on the First Circuit Court of Appeals that would probably do it for most people.
The fact I practiced law in the same city as him required the appearance of family solidarity even if there was none.
I had a fuck-ton of valid reasons for feeling the way I did.
Even though I’d been in his presence at family dinners and holiday occasions, I hadn’t been in his office since the day I left it five years ago.
The feelings of anger and disgust simmered below the surface where I’d forced them to stay.
After this, I’d need a release to bring me back down to level.
I knew where I’d be heading tonight. Annnnnd wasn’t the irony just fucking beautiful considering where I was right now?
“He’s ready for you, James.” Patricia’s smile held a touch of sympathy.
She probably knew the reason for my summons.
My father, the judge, only hired the best, and every lawyer with half a brain understood a smooth running office existed in direct correlation to the skills of his or her legal secretary.
“Thanks. Oh, before I forget, tell Chase to get in touch with Marguerite at my offices if he’s interested in an internship.” Patricia’s oldest son was a first year law student at Suffolk and probably a smart kid if he was anything like his mom.
“Oh, that’s so kind. I know Chase will jump at the opportunity, James.” She smiled with genuine thanks before leading me into my father’s inner sanctum.
He tracked me with his eyes as I entered the room.
I had to work fucking hard to keep a lid on my emotions and remain impassive.
I was on enemy turf for as long as this meeting lasted.
I thought of my mother, and that helped to keep my feet planted.
If not for her request, I’d be out the fucking door and back on the street where I could breathe again.
“Sit down, son.”
I settled into one of his soft leather chairs and leaned back with an expression of relaxed comfort.
An acting performance that should probably earn me an Academy Award because in reality, it felt like I was being ass-fucked on a bed of nails.
I would probably walk out of here feeling the same way when this meeting was over.
“Thank you for coming today. I realize your mother had to persuade you.”
I kept my eyes forward and ignored the calculated barb. “How is she?” I deflected by asking him a question.
“Your mother is very well as she always is.” Undoubtedly he was lying, but I’d learned long ago that my parents’ relationship was not my battle to fight. “I’ve asked you for a private meeting to share my news. You need to know what’s coming.”
I said nothing. There wasn’t a thing on earth that could’ve compelled me to ask him for the information. I wasn’t able to pretend that much with my father. All my energy was taken up by being present in the first place. I knew my silent disinterest rankled him. And I fucking loved that it did.
“Ted Robinson’s recent cancer diagnosis has ended his political career.”
“You know what they say about karma,” I answered.
All I could envision was the darkly beautiful goddess that was karma swooping in for her well-deserved due, because Ted Robinson shared space on the same list with my dad.
Cut from exactly the same cloth. “Besides, he has Mrs. Robinson to care for his every need now, so he can certainly take some comfort in that.”
Bitch, please.
The idea of my ex, Leah, nursing her sick husband back to health was so outrageous even I had to call bullshit on my own inner monologue. Robinson would abso-fucking-lutely have private in-home nursing care, because his adoring wife certainly wouldn’t soil her hands cleaning up his piss and puke.
“It’s time to let go of what happened in the past, James. It’s done. Move on to the new.”
Let go of what happened in the past?
My jaw twitched involuntarily, probably from how hard I was gritting my teeth.
I had moved on to the new, as he put it.
What the fuck did he think that was five years ago when I severed ties with this law firm and started my own?
James R. Blakeny & Associates, P.C. was something pretty fucking new.
I shrugged and shook my head slowly. “So, what... you’re running for public office now? ”
“I’ve been approached by the party, yes.” He unclasped his hands and placed both palms onto his desk. “I will accept their invitation to throw my hat into the proverbial ring. I have every intention of representing Massachusetts in the US Senate one year from now.”
Of course you do.
I figured this day would come. My father’s ego most definitely predestined a political career at some point. “Congratulations,” I managed to ground out.
“The senate is just the first step in the overarching plan though.”
“Overarching plan?” I loathed when he spoke in riddles like he was now. So arrogantly smug in his passive aggressiveness, it grated on my already stretched patience.
“Yes. The senate campaign announcement will come early February when everyone is breathing a collective sigh of relief the presidential race debacle has finally been put to bed. They’ll use it to deflect some of the negative into a positive.
Two years isn’t a horribly long time to have to wait for a candidate they can really get behind and safely propel into the White House. ”
Whoa. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? “You’re serious.”
“Deadly serious.”
“You’re going to run for President of the United States.
” I didn’t pose it as a question. I blinked at him, hoping to wake up from a really bad fucking dream—unable to accept the idea —grasping at straws of denial instead.
“But aren’t you getting ahead of things?
The White House is a long way from a judgeship on the First Circuit. ”
He stone-faced me, taking me straight back to when I was a kid and about to get served my punishment for some irrationally perceived infraction. I had a lot of those moments in my childhood to draw from. A flicker of fear crept inside my heart.
“I-I m-mean, you have to win the senate seat before you can declare a run for President in two years.” I wanted to cut out my tongue for stammering and showing weakness in front of him.
“The senate race is already done. All I need to make it stick is the cooperation of my beloved family .” His lip curled up on one side in a definite sign of distaste as he spoke the last word . Jesus Christ, he must hate us all.
“How so?” I wouldn’t have anything to do with his campaign. No fucking way. I held my palms up. “This has nothing to do with me. Your campaign is yours... as in, not mine .”
“Oh, but it is in a way, son. You’ll have to do your part to help present the right image to the voting public. Every aspect of our lives will be scrutinized. Every predilection... “ He folded his hands and focused his dark eyes on mine, finally getting to the crux of the issue.
“Even I can’t change who I am... Dad . You might think you can clean me up for your precious campaign, but you can’t. You are responsible for my transformation, after all.”
Maybe he was responsible.
But maybe not.
The darkness had always been there for as long as I could remember, just not acted on until rather recently.
Now? I needed it to survive. The control was essential for me.
That my father had knowledge of my sexual proclivities was a far worse burden to bear on my part.
That I liked to tie up women and spank them while fucking was going to be his.
“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s a simple solution. Your sister is already on the right path. She understands her duty to her family. The only loose end is you.” He did the lip curl again. “You will also do your duty to this family, and you will do it quickly.”
I shook my head at him. Denying what I knew he was asking of me. “I’m not hearing this.”
“You are hearing this. I can’t run a campaign for the highest office in the land with a thirty-something son unmarried and frequenting an underground sex club.
Discreet you may be, but this upcoming level of scrutiny isn’t what you’ve ever experienced.
I might be able to get the past whitewashed somewhat, but my powers aren’t infinite here.
A pretty wife and young family will do a much more convincing job than a cover-up could ever manage.
The Internet makes things goddamn complicated for all of us. ”
Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth.
“ Married doesn’t work for me. I mean, just look at what happened the last time I tried to put a ring on it. You orchestrated that catastrophe like a pro, I might add.”
“Ancient history, James,” he said with a dismissive wave of a hand.
Ancient history, perhaps to him.
“Knowing my own father arranged for my almost marriage to disintegrate at the fucking altar in front of a full church of wedding guests still grates.”