Chapter Thirteen
I had no idea what time it was when I finally gave up on sleep and slipped from the bed to look for a book. I considered touching the necklace and waking Gage’s ass up to bring me one, but calling for him in the middle of the night might send the wrong message.
To both of us.
The hall outside my room was dark as I crept out in search of distraction that did not come in the form of thinking about six-feet-plus of purely masculine fae arrogance.
“Can I help you?”
Cursing, I spun around, one hand on my chest to keep my heart from jumping out of it. I squinted as a red-haired fae stepped from the shadows. His hair, glinting in the corridor’s dim light, was a stark contrast to his tailored black suit. He’d been there that first night at the Avalon, I realized. The guard Gage had cruelly dismissed.
He tossed me a sheepish grin. “Shaw,” he reminded me, seeing the recognition in my eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Do you need something?”
Apparently, the Nether Court wasn’t entirely abandoned. It made sense that Lachlan would have left guards and household staff. “I can’t sleep.”
“Is there something wrong with your bed?”
“It’s…comfortable.”
He studied me for a moment. “And that’s a problem?”
I sucked in a deep breath. I doubted he really cared, but it wasn’t like I had somewhere to be tonight. Or any night, for that matter. “I’m used to something a little less heavenly,” I admitted. “That thing is like sleeping on a cloud.”
“Heavenly?” He grinned at my choice of words. “No one has ever mistaken the Nether Court for heaven before.”
For a moment, I thought of Ciara. She’d said something similar. After I’d learned her brother’s plans for her, I was inclined to agree, and it seemed Shaw felt the same.
“It’s better than what I’m used to.” I shrugged. “I was just looking for something to do. I need to remember to bring a book.”
Shaw crossed his arms. Ink covered every inch of his hands. It wrapped itself in intersecting symbols and swirls around his neck. But unlike Lachlan’s constantly shifting tattoos, Shaw’s remained solidly in place. I took a step closer, as if I might spur them to transform. They didn’t even shimmy.
“Your tattoos don’t move.” I looked up at him.
“They do sometimes, but only when I’m thinking.”
I lifted one brow. “You only think sometimes?”
It was a rude thing to say, particularly to someone who was probably packing under his suit jacket, but Shaw chuckled. “If I can help it. I only think when I’m worried, and I try not to worry.”
I snorted. “Must be nice. I worry all the time.”
“Worrying is expensive. It costs you the one thing you can’t get back. Time.”
I frowned. Shaw looked like he was in his early twenties. Far too young to be spouting that kind of wisdom. But to be honest, I had no idea how old any of them were. I hadn’t seen a single fae that looked older than thirty yet. For all I knew, he could be hundreds of years older than me. “That’s very wise for someone who doesn’t think.”
“I think, but I try to stop while I’m ahead.” He tipped his head toward the empty corridor. “You said you wanted a book. I’ll show you to the library. It’s this way.” He gestured for me to follow.
I kept a careful distance from him as we wound our way through the night-dark corridors. The only illumination came from candles perched on thick, gold sconces, their flames dancing in the shadows and their warm wax scent comforting under the drafty, vaulted ceilings that seemed to swallow most of their light. Next to me, Shaw maneuvered easily, probably due to his Fae eyesight.
We walked until I forgot what direction we’d come from. I would never find my way back to my room at this point. “Does this place ever end?”
“The court?” he asked, glancing over at me. “It does.”
I looked toward one of the windows and the endless night beyond it. “What’s out there?”
“Gardens, and then beyond those, the city.”
“There’s a city?”
Shaw looked like he wanted to pat my head. “There is. There’s an entire world,” he said as he opened a door. “More cities and villages, but it’s safer to stay at court.”
My gaze swept around the unfamiliar room, cataloging the overstuffed shelves filled with books and knickknacks. Strange art hung on the walls, the paintings seeming to glow with some internal light that must have been magic. A pair of plump velvet chairs were wedged into the corner, more books piled around their legs. It wasn’t the formal, regal library I’d expected to find at the Nether Court. It was cozy and welcoming and so much better for it. “I’m still wrapping my head around this place.”
Shaw nodded and lit a brass lamp. “Take anything you like.”
“I’m not going to get you into trouble?” I picked up a novel and flipped it over to read the title.
“My brother might be pissed, but what’s new?”
My fingers tightened on the book. “Brother?” I flushed and was suddenly grateful that the dim light likely hid my face.
He smiled. “Shaw Gage. The baby—the unwanted, unplanned, unwelcome baby.”
I hadn’t put two and two together until now. Not with mishaps like accidentally selling my soul and dress fittings and car fires distracting me. I needed to spend some time stalking the Gages on the internet. Yet another reason I needed the modern amenities of the Avalon. “I know that feeling. Look, your brother is a prick. I wouldn’t take it personally.”
“He forgets about me. I was at school until recently.” He sounded almost wistful, and I thought about what Lachlan had said about Fiona keeping her distance from the Nether Court. “But all good things must come to an end.”
“And why are you here now? I thought everyone stayed at the Avalon.” Everyone but me and Shaw, it seemed.
He frowned. “Not tonight. I’ve been ordered to hang here while Lach and Roark deal with some stuff by the docks.”
“You mean you’ve been left to watch me.”
He shrugged. “That’s Lach’s excuse, but he doesn’t want me around while he’s dealing with business.”
I studied him for a moment. “He’s trying to keep you safe.”
But Shaw snorted. “Lach doesn’t worry about safety, or he wouldn’t be out there tonight.”
I decided I didn’t want to know more about what his brother was doing, because I suspected that whatever it was was likely very illegal. “He must think about safety sometimes, because he didn’t leave me to my own devices.”
Shaw’s eyes twinkled. “Troublemaker?”
If he only knew. “Not anymore.” Was that a fact or a reminder?
I stared at the books, drinking in the woodsy, worn scent of them. Some of the titles, I recognized; many, I did not. My eyes skipped over spines emblazoned with strange characters, the same language that was inked on Lachlan’s flesh. I bypassed those, perusing the shelves until I found a leather-bound collection of Jane Austen novels. I reached for one and paused.
“If I borrow a book from your library, you aren’t going to make me give you a kidney or something, right?” I asked.
Despite the frost coating my voice, Shaw snorted. “No. Read as many books as you like.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Lucky for you, I’m not the type to make bargains.”
“So you wouldn’t have tricked me out of my soul?”
“Unlikely,” he admitted with a contagious laugh. Shaw was different than his older brother. He was more like Ciara. It would be easy to be friends with him, to trust him, to like him. I couldn’t say any of those things about his brother. If likability was a genetic trait, it must have skipped Lachlan and Fiona in favor of their siblings. “It’s only worth making a bargain if you know it won’t be broken. Otherwise…”
“Oh?” I fixed a neutral stare at the book in my hands, but my heart raced. “What happens then?”
Shaw leaned against the shelving, tracing the gilded spines of the tomes. “Our magic relies on bargains, especially with humans. It balances our world, since…” He trailed away.
“Since what?”
But Shaw waved off the question with a forced smile. “That’s not important. It’s just risky to enter a bargain that might be broken. It can warp our magic. It has warped our magic.”
If that was true, why would Lachlan point me in the direction of breaking ours? Unless he really believed I wouldn’t be able to figure it out. I tried to keep my voice steady. “But it can be broken?”
If Lachlan had lied to me, all bets were off on my promise not to kill him.
“If both parties agree that the conditions can’t be met.” He nodded. “It’s just like when the bargain is made. Both parties have to mean it.”
“Why?” I asked, completely forgetting to stay composed.
“Otherwise, what’s the point? Without magic, it would just be a promise—and promises are broken all the time.” He shrugged.
“Fae don’t seem very trusting.”
He raised a brow. “And humans are better?”
He might have a point. “So magic means you can’t break the promise?” Or change your mind.
“Doesn’t stop people from trying,” he admitted. “Like I said, it’s not worth the hassle.”
“Your brother seems to think it is.” Relief flooded me, tinged with a little guilt. The magic had sealed our bargain because I’d agreed to exchange my life for Channing’s. Lachlan hadn’t tricked me. He’d just conveniently failed to mention that magic was involved. And once I proved to him that he was never getting his end of the bargain, there would be nothing to prevent breaking it. As long as he left Channing alone, there was nothing more I wanted from him. “Does he make a lot of bargains?”
“Lach?” Shaw snorted his brother’s name. “Never. He doesn’t do anything for anyone. He relies on other people to do it for him. You must have something he wants very badly.”
But I didn’t. I might have thought it was about sex, but he could have had me that first night and sealed my fate. It wasn’t that simple. I suspected that whatever Lachlan wanted would prove very dangerous. But I kept that thought to myself. “I think he just wanted to screw with me.”
“He excels at torturing people, and someday he’s going to get rewarded with a one-way ticket to hell for it.”
“Does he have a lot of enemies?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“He doesn’t have anything else.” Shaw straightened, reaching under his unbuttoned jacket to adjust his holster.
“Even his family?” It was clear that there was no love lost between Shaw and Lachlan, but Ciara…
“I know I sound like an asshole.” He forced a smile that held none of the warmth of his others. “But if I was on fire, Lach wouldn’t piss on me to put it out. The hazard of being a fae royal. We’re a dysfunctional bunch, even in the light courts.”
Well, that was colorful. “I’m sorry,” I said, meaning it. “I think I romanticize family. It’s the hazard of not having any.”
“Want some of mine?” he asked dryly. “Maybe a disapproving brother or a reckless sister or two?”
I couldn’t help smiling. “You aren’t exactly selling me on them. And I’m already stuck with your cocky, dickhead brother, remember?”
Shaw answered with a wry grin that crinkled his golden eyes. “Definitely the worst of the lot.” He tipped his head toward the shelves and the books I’d mostly been ignoring. “I feel like I’m distracting you.”
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to.” Someone who didn’t delight in tricking and toying with me. “I’ve read all of these, but this is my favorite.”
Shaw scrunched his nose, looking around the stacks. “Maybe—”
“What the hell are you doing in here?” A lethal voice cut through the room, and we swiveled to find Lachlan watching us.
“Lach, I didn’t expect you back tonight.” Shaw’s eyes bounced from him to me.
I shoved the novel back into its place and took a step away from the shelf.
When I looked, he was already staring at me. “I can see that.”
“I wanted something to read.” I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his eyes. The bond thrummed between us, the bargain a gentle caress on the back of my neck. Lachlan stalked closer, stepping between me and his brother. He slid the book I’d been holding free of the shelf and held it out to me.
“Don’t write in my books.”
I frowned. “Your books?”
“This is my room.” He dropped into a velvet chair, sweeping a hand toward the other half of the room. My stomach plummeted as I looked around. I’d been distracted by my conversation with Shaw, only half paying attention to the room in the dark. Now I saw what I’d missed: a bed nestled in an alcove. There were two more shelves extending to the arched ceiling on either side of it and an arched window lined with heavy, black drapes at its head. The sheets and pillows were strewn across in haphazard fashion, as if sleeping was the last thing that Lachlan Gage ever did in that bed.
My blood heated as I stared at it. “I thought you lived in the Avalon.”
“I stay at the Avalon, but this is my home.” He shot a sharp look at his brother. “Do you ever do as you’re told?”
Shaw took a nervous step forward. “I didn’t think you would mind.”
“I asked,” I interjected. “If you want to be angry, be angry with me. I asked for a book. Shaw was being nice. It never occurred to me that they were yours.”
Lachlan paused. “You seem surprised.”
“I am,” I said coolly. “Who knew you could read?”
His eyes sparked with amusement. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” He draped an arm over the back of the low-slung chair. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.” He paused and raked a feral gaze over my body. “Unless you want to join me.”
I clamped my thighs together to smother the ember his words had stoked. That was his second invitation tonight. He was giving my body mixed signals with that sexy magic—and apparently he wasn’t even wielding it consciously. My brain was getting the message to stay away, but how long before the rest of me overruled it?
“I think I’ll pass.” I willed my voice to remain steady as I backed closer to Shaw.
“Sorry we bothered you,” Shaw said tightly. He placed a hand on my back, guiding me toward the door.
Lachlan’s attention narrowed on his brother’s touch, and his face darkened. “Shaw, in the future, ask permission before you touch my things.”
My fingers tightened on the book, preparing to launch it at his cocky face, but Shaw hustled me out of the room with a curt apology. He cursed as soon as we were outside. I added a few expletives of my own.
“Does he always treat you like that?” I asked him. Lachlan had been dismissive of him that first night, but now I saw that the rift between them ran deeper.
He took a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure Lach would prefer to be an only child.” He shook his head. “I’ve never been able to figure him out.”
That made two of us. I placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry if I got you in trouble.”
“He’s my older brother. I’m always in trouble with him.” He forced a grin that didn’t quite reach his amber eyes. He was quiet for a second. “Did you really make the bargain with him to save your brother?”
My throat tightened, but I managed a small nod. “I did.”
Shaw’s face fell as he studied the ground. “You must really love him. No one would do that for me.”
I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I wasn’t sure that was the truth. “Thank you for risking your brother’s wrath to get me a book.”
Maybe Ciara wasn’t the only one who needed a friend. Though what they really needed was someone to call their brother on his shit.
“Want me to show you back to your room?” he asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
I shivered at the thought of getting lost at the court, of those disembodied wails that haunted the halls. “Yes. I don’t want to run into the ghosts.”
“Ghosts?” he repeated with a surprised laugh.
“This place is definitely haunted.” I explained the sounds I’d heard every night since I made the bargain with Lachlan, but as I spoke, Shaw’s grin widened. “You think I’m imagining it, don’t you?”
“No. I think you’re hearing the wraiths. They guard the court.”
“Wraiths?”
“Lost souls that are bound to the Otherworld. They’re invisible to everyone but the ruling family. I don’t know why magic decided to bestow that perk on us.”
“You can see them?” Something in the way he spoke told me that I was glad I could not.
“Unfortunately.” He grimaced. “Because I’m a member of the royal household, they answer to me, which means I can see their disgusting, rotting asses.”
“Rotting?” I said faintly. Hearing them was bad enough.
“Some of them. Most of the ones at the Nether Court look like half-rotted corpses cloaked in shadows.”
I rolled my eyes even as an icy shot of fear filtered into my blood. “That sounds like ghosts to me.”
“They aren’t ghosts, exactly.” He chewed on his lip as though it might help him with whatever minute difference there was between a lost soul and a ghost. “In the Otherworld, only fae pass to the next life at death. If another creature dies here, they are caught in the veil between this world and the afterlife. They become wraiths, beings of pure light or shadow, and are forced to serve the fae royals. It’s why we’re so careful about allowing access to our world.”
“Other creatures? Like humans?” I swallowed, trying to dislodge the dread sitting like a lump in my throat.
Shaw bobbed his head, his eyes darting in my direction. “Humans, witches, vampires…”
“So, if I die here”—I tried to keep my voice from trembling and failed—“I become a wraith.” A dead, rotting, ageless creature of shadows. This just got better and better.
“In the light courts, I’m told they can be quite beautiful. What a human might call an angel.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “I bet your soul would find a light court.”
It was a sweet thing to say, which only made me absolutely sure that if I died here, I would not wind up at a light court. Not if it was down to what was in my soul. Because I’d already agreed to help Ciara for my own purposes, and if getting close to Shaw would help me, I wouldn’t hesitate.
“I think I’ll try to kick the bucket in my world,” I said.
“Probably a good idea.”
We smiled at each other. Despite my commitment to hating the Nether Court and everyone in it, I liked Shaw. He reminded me of my own brother, and just like Channing, Shaw was caught up with a bad crowd. Not because he was a bad person but because he was a decent person who didn’t have a choice. I wouldn’t hold it against him, but that wouldn’t stop me from using it to my advantage—just like Lachlan would.