Chapter 5 #2
His hand trails south, fingers settling around my throat. A light squeeze and my breath ceases for the smallest second, endorphins spiking. His eyes sharpen like he knows – but of course he knows. He knows how to pleasure a woman. It’s what he does.
His fingers soften, releasing me to travel lower, his touch barely there as he traces over my collarbone, down to the curve of one breast. I arch into his touch, head pressing back, anticipation coiling through my middle as he circles and circles, getting closer to the peak and—
‘These breasts…’
He tweaks the very tip and I cry out, pleasure-pain shooting up every vein.
‘So responsive, Baby Girl.’
I bite down on my lip, nostrils flaring, eyes hooked on his as he strokes lower – more, more, more. It’s like a mantra in my head as I wriggle against the sheets, stomach fluttering as he circles around my belly button.
‘So impatient too,’ he teases. ‘What is it, darling girl, do you need this?’
He slips between my legs and I almost leave the mattress, the lightest stroke somehow the headiest hit.
‘Please Ax, please…’
His eyes blaze down into mine. ‘This pussy is mine for as long as it takes, Baby Girl.’ He skims the edges of my throbbing clit, sending it into a pleading frenzy. ‘No one else gets a look in. You hear me?’
I nod. Hell, I can’t imagine anyone else ever in this moment. And I know how stupid, how foolish, how sappy that sounds. But all I want is him: his touch tipping me over, his cock filling me. I whimper and writhe, telling him with my body what I want, what I need.
‘I warned you Tay, I don’t do gentle.’ He yanks my thigh up the bed, spreading me wider.
‘And I told you I don’t need gentle.’
He spanks my swollen clit, and I gasp, a bolt of heat snapping through me.
‘You sure about that?’
Fuck, I’m sure. I want more.
‘Tay?’
‘Yes! Yes, I’m sure! I want more.’
He gives me a devilish smile and this – this smile reaches his eyes.
‘Good girl.’
I preen. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of him calling me good girl, Baby Girl, his girl. Risky, ridiculous, lust-driven thoughts that I’ll have no care for in the cold light of day, but right now, it only takes me higher. Need tightening every limb as he spanks me again and I rock into it.
‘If you weren’t tied to the post, I’d flip you and spank your ass too, but that can be tomorrow’s fun. For now, your needy little clit can take it…’
Tomorrow? God, there’s gonna be a tomorrow – and another, and another.
The thought coils through me, right as his mouth closes around my breast. His teeth tease at the peak, a wicked scrape of sensation, while his fingers find my clit again, pinching and rolling. An expert mix that keeps me just on the brink.
Tears prick. Not from pain – from the sheer overload. My breath comes in short, broken pants, my cries dissolving into a desperate, incoherent plea for him to take me, fill me, claim me – anything, so long as he takes me over.
I yank on the belt binding my wrists, leather biting deep. My hips angle instinctively; my leg presses between his, trying – needing – to get him where I want him.
A growl bubbles in my throat when he resists. Not just resists – he pulls his lower body away, denying me, controlling the very air between us.
He gives a low, amused sound against my skin. ‘What is it Tay? Used to getting your own way?’
‘You know it.’
‘Tough.’
I clamp my legs around him, using all the strength I have to bring him close, but he takes over. Rising up to pin me open, palms pressing into my thighs.
‘Ax!’ I gasp, frustration and need tangled tight. ‘Please.’
He doesn’t answer.
His gaze drags lower, eyes darkening, the air thickening.
‘Look at you,’ he murmurs, voice rough with want I can feel in my bones. ‘Begging for me.’
Molten heat assaults my core. I’m unravelling, and he knows it. Watches it. Drinks it in like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to earth.
And maybe it is, because I sure as hell feel it.
‘Yes! I’m begging you!’
But it’s his mouth that takes me, his fingers spreading my folds apart as he dives in.
One long swipe of his tongue, then he flicks it over my clit with a ferocity that has me at his mercy.
Limbs tight and buzzing, moans coming wild and free.
His fingers slip inside, scissoring and thrusting, deeper and deeper, until he’s riding my G-spot and making me grind.
Christ. I’m going to come – again – and he’s still not in me. Not the part of him I so desperately want. And I don’t know which bit wants it more: the wannabe mum, or the lust-ridden woman, though I’d hazard a dangerous guess.
‘Axel, please, I beg you.’
His head flicks up, dark eyes burning into mine, mouth glistening with me.
‘Please,’ I whimper, and fuck, I don’t whimper. I don’t usually beg either, but I am. ‘I need you inside me. I want you.’
His lip curls. He’s so goddamn horny, all for me, and I could come just looking at him undone like this. ‘Who owns you, Baby Girl?’
‘You,’ I breathe. ‘For as long as it takes, you own me.’
And I feel it, all the way to my soul. I’m his until this is done. But there’s a tiny voice at the back of my mind… a niggle in my gut… that something this good can’t simply be switched off. Unlearnt. Reset.
Can it?
‘Say that again,’ he growls, dragging kisses up my body until his eyes are level with mine. ‘Say it, Baby Girl.’
‘You own me.’
He smiles – dark, triumphant. ‘Too right, I do.’
And then he thrusts, his cock stretching me wide and hitting me deep. Emotion slams into me as hard as pleasure: dizzying, terrifying, all-consuming.
I want to cry into his mouth, I want to smother his groan with my own. But I don’t. I toe the line he drew – no kissing – and smother the crazy doubts too.
Because if this gives me the baby I so desperately want…
Does anything else really matter?
Everything’s worth the risk for the love I so desperately desire…
Axel
I’m losing myself in her.
Every movement takes me deeper, into her, into this. And her eyes – fuck. Everything I could ever want stares back at me, and I can’t want – I don’t get to want.
I squeeze my eyes shut, thrust harder. Take and take until I’m buried to the hilt and she’s gasping my name. And I can’t ignore that. My eyes snap open and another rush swallows me whole.
She’s a vision. Flushed, breathless, clinging to me like I’m her everything. Her legs locked tight at my hips, heels digging in, urging me closer, faster, harder.
‘Axel, yes, God, yes!’
I lower a hand between us, press my thumb to her clit, and her eyes roll back, her head too.
‘Yes, yes, yes…’
She seizes – breath gone, body taut, fists whitening around the belt.
One second, two, held on the brink… then she breaks apart.
Pulsing, crying out, gripping me so hard, it takes me with her.
My release tears through me: hot, explosive, nerves blown wide as she milks my all, and I let her. Thank fuck I let her.
I bury my face in her neck, kiss her skin through the aftershocks, breathe her in like I’ll never get enough… because I won’t.
I’d willingly keep her chained here forever.
And the thought smacks me upside the head. A timely reminder of exactly what I am: one sick fuck. Desperate and dissolute and she deserves so much better. Her kid deserves so much better.
‘Axel…’ she breathes – a sigh? A question? A plea to go again? I wish.
I don’t know and I don’t care. Because I can’t look at her like this. Not when I feel so fucking exposed.
I lower my head to her chest, letting her heartbeat thrum against my mouth, my palm smoothing over her stomach. And the image blindsides me: her belly full with my child.
Something primal detonates in my gut.
Something dangerous.
Something I should never, ever feed.
This was supposed to be simple. A deal. A line. A purpose.
But there’s no switch to flick now, no way to go back. She’s in my system like a drug and I already know withdrawal’s gonna kill me.
‘You should go,’ I force out, reaching to untie the belt.
She stiffens. I don’t have to see her face to know I’ve hurt her.
‘But I thought…’
‘You thought what, Tay?’ I force myself to meet her gaze, let the cold in mine do its job even if it feels like tearing skin. ‘That we’d fuck and then lie here whispering sweet shit ’till sunrise? That how you usually roll?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. No. But—’
‘Good. Then you know the drill. Keep it about the sex, and part ways. Come back as friends. And go again. No blurred lines.’
Because if I blur them, I won’t survive the day she walks away.
I know that, even if she doesn’t.
Her wrists slip free and she scrambles up the bed, tugging the sheet to her chest. And I can’t help the twisted smile that curls my lips.
‘Bit late for modesty, don’t you think?’
‘Not when you’re lecturing me about how we keep things normal between us.’
She has a point, but…
‘You really think getting cosy after is a good idea?’
I stand, bare, unbothered, her need mixed with mine, still coating my semi-hard state that thickens as her eyes dip, appreciation warming her depths as a flush creeps back into her cheeks. Colour I’m glad of, even if she ain’t.
‘Unless you wanna go round two,’ I tease, only half-joking. ‘Or would that be three for you?’
Her chin snaps up, eyes shooting sparks.
‘Funny, Ax. Real funny.’
I laugh, though nothing about this is funny. Not by a long shot.
‘I’m hitting the shower. Take all the privacy you need and see yourself out.’
‘Jesus… is that how you treat all your women?’
‘I don’t know, Tay. Is that how you treat yours?’
Because I’m more than aware of her track record with both sexes. Painfully so.
I let the jab land, her stunned stare giving me an ugly flicker of satisfaction as I turn and walk.
And yes, my reputation is just as bad, but mine is built on this, on her, trying to fuck my way free of the hold she’s had over me since forever. Not that it’s ever worked.
Maybe fucking my way through it will work instead.
I can hope.
I shove my fingers through my hair, knowing I’m a physiatrist’s wet dream right about now. But it’s giving me the control I need to walk away from her when every fibre of my being wants to turn around, haul her against me, and go for round two, three, four…
‘I’d leave if I were you,’ I say without turning. ‘Unless you want to explain to the rest of the villa why you’re still in my bed come morning.’
That gets her moving. The horror of us being known does what I couldn’t. I’d laugh if it didn’t hollow me out all the same.
I turn on the shower and listen, every nerve straining.
The soft click of the door signals her leaving, and only then do I let out a breath.
She’s gone.
Relief crashes in, then curdles. Because I still burn for her, worse than ever.
Because now I know this side of her. How she looks, tastes, feels, my name breaking on her lips when she comes.
And I can’t decide if that’s my punishment… or the only pleasure worth knowing.