Chapter 2
SADIE
Seven Years Ago…
‘Ha! You could show up like that and the guy would probably double your rate,’ I say, bouncing from one foot to the other, still high on adrenaline.
And I’m not even kidding. She’s tall, glossy-black-haired perfection – like if Wonder Woman and Black Widow had a baby, raised it on protein shakes and Pilates, and gave it a supernatural aversion to sweat. Boom: DominaTay!
‘Tell her, Theo.’
‘Hell no,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘Too weird.’
‘Weird, huh?’ Taylor cocks a perfectly manicured brow. ‘Thanks.’
‘You know what I mean,’ he says, hands gripping his hips as he pants for air, his ripped physique in a compression tee making my heart dance harder than the run ever could. ‘It’d be like telling my sister I think she’s hot.’
‘You know we’re not blood, right?’ I cut in before I can stop myself, aiming for playful but hearing the edge in my own voice.
Because the truth is, I’m crushing on him.
Hard. Have been for as long as I can remember, and this past year?
It’s only gotten worse. Watching him unravel after his dad died, seeing the softer, broken parts he let no one else near…
it’s wrecked me in the best, most irreversible way. I’m hooked. Head over heels.
Twelve-year age gap? Pfft!
He glances at me, his expression unreadable. ‘Doesn’t make it okay.’ Then he looks to my sis. ‘Sorry, Tay. Never gonna fancy you.’
‘And on that amazing note,’ she says, hazel eyes sparkling with laughter, ‘I’ll see you both later. Try not to kill him, sis. We’re not as young as you remember. No matter how much we’d kill to be eighteen again.’
‘Geez, Tay. You make yourself sound ancient.’
‘After that run, I feel ancient. And I need these legs in prime condition for tonight’s black-tie gig. Ciao ciao .’
She jogs off, ponytail swinging, fingers fluttering high in farewell… and somehow looking more energised than she did ten minutes ago.
‘You think she’s going off to finish the other 5k alone?’ I say.
‘If you’re asking whether she wanted to escape your pacing, then yes. Completely possible.’
‘So why aren’t you following her?’
He shrugs, and that grin I know too well tugs at his lips. ‘What can I say? Your pacing does it for me. Move it, Gonzales.’
‘Gonzales?’ I raise a brow.
‘Speedy? The cartoon mouse?’ He lets out a strangled laugh. ‘Ok-ay. Not feeling old. Not feeling old at all…’ And then he takes off.
‘Hey! Wait up!’ I call, grinning as I chase after him.
We settle into a rhythm side by side again, his pace way more brutal than mine ever was.
‘So,’ he says, after several racing minutes of silence. ‘How have things been since you dropped the beauty-school bombshell?’
I roll my eyes. ‘She’s still pissed. Told me it’s not a real career. Which is hilarious, considering she runs an escort agency.’
‘She just worries about you.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know. But she can’t have it all her way. She doesn’t want me in her business because she doesn’t think it’s suitable and I?—’
He loses his footing and I flick out a hand, stopping just short of his bicep. ‘You okay?’
‘Yep!’ He stares resolutely ahead, jaw clenched. Then, ‘You were saying?’
‘I can’t win. She doesn’t want me working for her and she doesn’t want me doing my own thing either.’
‘She just doesn’t want you to leave.’
‘Manchester isn’t that far.’
‘It’s far enough when she’s used to having you around twenty-four-seven… She’ll miss you.’
My eyes flick his way again. ‘And what about you, Theo? You gonna miss me too?’
I say it like it’s a joke, like it’s light and nothing, but it comes out all wrong. Too heavy. Too loaded.
He looks over at me, and the sudden seriousness on his face almost takes my feet out from under me.
‘Yes.’ His voice is rough, taking on that gruff edge he tries to hide when things get too real, and it makes my heart skip a beat. ‘Of course I’ll miss you.’
We hit the track that runs down to the river. It’s quieter here. Our shortened breaths overlay the kick of gravel beneath our feet, the rush of water, and the wildlife tweeting in the trees. But the only thing I’m attuned to is him.
‘I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this year without you,’ he says. ‘After Dad… Everyone needed me to hold it together. Mum was a mess. She’s still a mess…’
‘She’ll get there,’ I say, hoping I’m right. I love his mum. Everyone does. But for me and Tay, she was the one who put food in our belly when dad was too drunk or distracted to care. She deserves to be happy again.
‘As for your sister and Axel…’ he says, bringing up his two best friends who should have been there for him, who would have been there for him if he’d given them a chance. ‘They’d just given me their life savings to invest. I had to show them I could do it.’
‘Which you did and then some.’
He’s made a fortune already and it’s growing at an exponential rate.
‘But with you…’
‘You didn’t have to be any of that,’ I say quietly, accepting my heart’s fate with it.
‘Yeah. You never needed me to be anything but me, and I don’t think I ever thanked you.’
He slows to a stop, turning into me as I do the same.
‘You don’t need to thank me,’ I say. ‘You’ve been there for me too. For as long as I can remember… you and Tay have had my back.’
A soft smile touches his lips. ‘Ever the humble one, aren’t you?’
His hand lifts, and with the lightest touch, he sweeps the hair from my face. His fingers linger behind my ear, his unguarded gaze sears mine.
‘And for what it’s worth, I’m happy you’re going after your dreams. You deserve them all.’
His hand falls away slowly – like he doesn’t want to let me go – and I swear he’s breathing faster. My pulse thrums in my throat as we just stand there, staring at each other. His eyes flick to my mouth. My stomach twists, flips, tightens with hope.
He finally sees me. Not as Tay’s little sister. Not as a kid. He sees… me .
And then I lean in without thinking, brushing my lips against his. It’s barely a kiss, more a question I don’t know how to ask. And for one breathless second, he doesn’t respond, doesn’t move, and my heart plummets.
But then… he catches it, his mouth crashing into mine in sudden answer.
His hands slide to my waist, pulling me in. He parts my lips with his tongue and the sudden invasion makes my head spin and my body melt, my moan as wild and wanton as I feel.
And then – just like that – he jerks back. Breath ragged. Eyes wild.
‘Shit!’ The curse cuts like a blade as his hands plunder his hair. ‘Forgive me, I shouldn’t have! What the fuck was I thinking?’
‘Forgive you?’ My voice shakes. ‘I kissed you!’
‘I kissed you back!’
‘So? I— I love you Theo.’
His eyes flare. ‘No. No, you don’t.’
‘I do. I’ve loved you for?—’
‘You don’t love me,’ he snaps back. ‘You can’t.’
‘But I do.’
‘You only think you do. You’re too young, you’re?—’
A laugh tears through my throat. ‘I’m old enough to know my own heart.’
‘Not when you think you’re in love with me.’
‘Why is it so hard to believe?’
‘Because I’m the one guy you’ve had in your life since you were five. I was the one you came to when you scraped your knee in the park. Or fell out with your friends at school. I was the one you came to when you needed a man to make it all better.’
‘Jesus.’ I stumble back a step, the meaning of his words landing with a sickening thud. ‘You think I have daddy issues?’
‘No— Jesus , fuck, no.’ He slams another hand through his hair, face pinched and pale. ‘Hell, maybe. I don’t know. Even before he died, your father was never?—’
‘What the fuck , Theo?’
‘I’m not trying to be a dick, Sadie. But you’re eighteen. You’re?—’
‘Stop.’ I cut him off, my voice trembling, my eyes burning. ‘It’s bad enough that Taylor still talks to me like I’m some helpless kid, but you?’ My voice cracks. ‘I thought you saw me.’
‘I do,’ he says softly. ‘I do see you.’
‘No.’ I shake my head, tears stinging at my eyes. ‘You don’t.’
He opens his mouth to say something, but I don’t want to hear it, and so I run as fast as my heart is breaking.
He doesn’t come after me.
Not then. Not in all the years since.
And I don’t look back… or at least, I try not to.