Chapter 13
SADIE
By the time I get back to Theo’s, I’m a little bit cocky and a way bit drunk, but I’m on a mission.
And that mission is Theo.
I want what eighteen-year-old me wanted, and I want it now.
And I don’t care if I sound like a petulant Veruca Salt, I’m getting it.
I’ve been sat in Taylor’s opulent surroundings all evening and we’ve had the most amazing, utterly cathartic night.
We’ve put the past to bed – and now I want to put him to bed… preferably with me on top.
I giggle as I fall out of his elevator into the softly lit hallway, his space doing more than just tickling my tummy; it tickles my nethers too.
Another giggle escapes and I press a finger to my lips, oops, anchoring myself to the wall as I slip out of my boots, shh .
I look to the left, to his quarters, and the living area just before, then to the right, to Lottie. Daughter first. Always daughter first.
It’s the longest I’ve been without her since she was born. Surreal but true.
I pad down the hallway, extra careful to be quiet. The last thing I want to do is wake her, but…
I ease her door open. The nightlight by her bed casts a deep amber glow that barely reaches past her sleeping form.
I tiptoe in, her gentle snore reaching my ears as the scent of her shampoo fills the air, and I smile.
She’s clutching Dino beneath her chin, just like always.
Her long, dark lashes rest against her adorably pudgy cheeks, and her small smile – so much like mine this second – makes my heart bloom in my chest.
I bend to kiss her forehead and linger for a moment.
‘Sleep tight, sweetheart.’
And then I hear the whisper-soft movement of the door behind me, and I know it’s him. Awareness tingles along my spine as the faint aroma of freshly washed male invades my senses – has he just showered?
I straighten and turn, wanting to be in control, wanting to see him and feel the familiar burn, but have it in my grasp… I don’t.
He’s a dark silhouette against the glow of the hallway, his eyes like glittering obsidian locked on me. Or more specifically, my legs…
Had I given him an eyeful bending over?
Probably.
Do I care?
Not on your nelly.
Another giggle flutters up, and I move before it slips out.
He backs away as I approach, hands deep in his pockets, his jaw tightening with whatever’s got him so wound up.
Me?
I hope so.
His eyes narrow as the door clicks shut behind me.
‘Good time?’
His voice is a husky whisper – for Lottie’s benefit, or because of me?
Either way, my nipples ping. He’s like a walking remote for my body – every sound, every look, every scent.
I can only imagine what it’ll be like when he touches me with intent.
Ping-ping-ping!
But I’m done imagining.
I want to know.
‘The best.’
‘You sort things out?’
I nod, and a tiny hiccup escapes. ‘Oops!’ I cover my mouth with my fingers. ‘That’ll be the champers!’
‘Are you’ – those green eyes narrow all the more – ‘are you drunk ?’
‘No,’ I say, shaking my head… and instantly regret it as the world gives a slow, lazy spin. I fling a hand out for balance, and find one deliciously solid pec. Yum!
My fingers flex in pure fascination, and his hand shoots around my wrist.
‘ Sadie… ’
His low warning tone rumbles through my hand, my arm, my body… Bullseye .
He curses under his breath. ‘Come on, I’m getting you some water and taking you to bed.’
‘Is that a promise?’
He does a double take, and I grin.
He shakes his head, muttering something about my sister, I think. I can’t be sure. I’m too distracted by his hand, still closed around mine, guiding me down the hall. And I instantly miss it the moment he lets go.
He grabs a glass from the kitchen cupboard, and I tear my gaze from shamelessly ogling his behind to take in the room.
Wowzers. The place is spotless. Like, seriously spotless.
Lottie’s toys are stacked neatly in bins along the wall. Her books are arranged in a perfect little row on the coffee table. Her colouring paraphernalia is laid out on the kitchen island like a miniature artist’s studio.
There’s not a single speck of glitter in sight.
Now that’s a miracle.
‘I can’t believe how tidy it is in here,’ I say as he presses the glass – now filled with water – into my hand, steadying it with both of his. Double the treat. ‘You put me to shame.’
‘I had help.’
‘Help?’
He backs away, more’s the pity. And leans against the counter, arms folded, eyes watchful. Like he’s unsure whether I’m going to faceplant or pounce.
And I’m not sure which he’d prefer, but I know which one I’d choose.
‘My mother came.’
I snap to attention. ‘Your mother ? Did she… did she know we were here?’
‘She does now.’
‘Oh…’ I swallow, already picturing the drama. She was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve. Kind of like someone else I know. Lil’ ol’ me.
It’s probably one of the reasons we got on so well.
‘How did she take it?’
A smile tugs at his mouth. ‘Let’s just say, she took great delight in watching Lottie run me ragged.’
‘Oh God,’ I groan. ‘Was she a handful?’
‘No more than usual,’ he says, the obvious fondness in his eyes making my heart melt with my undies. ‘Less trouble than my mother at any rate.’
I laugh softly. ‘I wish I’d been here to see her.’
‘She was sorry to miss you too.’
I sip my water. ‘We’ll have to organise something.’
‘She’d like that.’
‘How was Lottie with her?’
‘They hit it off straight away.’
‘Like mother, like son, hey?’
His smile builds, drawing my eye to the fullness of his lower lip, the well-defined cupid’s bow to the top, the dark shadow of tantalising stubble shifting with the gesture…
And his smile isn’t the only thing building. That dull, pulsing ache is back, stronger than ever. We might be talking about parents, tidiness, and toddlers, but my body’s carrying on an entirely different conversation.
‘So… it went well then?’ His question tugs me out of my lustful stupor. ‘With Taylor?’
‘Yeah.’ I cool my mouth off with more water, downing a swig. ‘So well, she asked me to move in with her.’
‘She did ?’
I give a slow nod, trying to gauge the sudden pitch to his voice.
‘What did you say?’
I hold his gaze and tell him the full truth, ‘I said that Lottie and I are settled here. That it didn’t feel right to uproot her again just yet.’
He stares back at me, his gaze impossible to read.
‘Unless…’ I hesitate, my thoughts drifting inevitably to Katie.
His ex. The woman he’d loved enough to propose to…
but couldn’t live with. ‘Unless you want us to go? I know you said we could stay for the summer, but now that you’ve lived with us, I’d understand if you’ve changed your mind. And now that Taylor’s offering…’
I leave the rest hanging, breath held, heart tapping against my ribs.
His eyes stay fixed on mine, his silence stretching until I can’t take it any more. ‘Theo?’
‘I want you to do whatever’s best for you and Lottie… whatever will make you both happy.’
I bite back a curse, because of course he’d say that. It’s noble. Maddening. Unbearably sweet. But two can play that game.
‘And what about you, Theo? What’s best for you? What will make you happy?’
I set my drink down harder than I mean to, and he’s before me in a flash – his palm hot against my hip, like he thinks that’ll steady me. But it’s not my body that’s off kilter. It’s my heart.
I blink up at him, breath snagging in my throat as I search his eyes that give away so much and yet, not enough.
‘Let’s get you to bed,’ he says, voice rough, hand gentle as it slides into the curve of my lower back, sending a heated shiver up my spine.
‘No.’ I plant my feet, forcing him to stop. ‘It’s not bed that I want.’
Our eyes collide, the air locked and loaded as I turn into him.
‘It’s you, Theo. I want you .’
His green eyes flare, fire catching.
‘And I think you want me too.’
‘ Sadie …’
Heat pours off his tensed-up body like a furnace, and I press closer, willing it to burn.
‘I’m done being the quiet one. The obedient one.
’ My heart thunders as I hold his gaze. ‘The girl who swallows her voice and pretends her desires don’t exist.’ I wet my lips, and his own part in response – slow, involuntary, utterly magnetic.
‘ You wanted me to take my life back. This is me taking it. This is me choosing what I want.’
‘This isn’t what I meant,’ he rasps.
I smile, just a little. ‘I know. But don’t look so panicked. I’m not asking you for forever. I’m asking for you – right here, right now.’ Then softer, ‘I’m asking you to make me forget how it was and make me see stars, because heaven knows, Danny never did.’
His jaw locks, eyes sparking with fury at the mention of Danny.
But I’m not trying to manipulate him. I just need him to understand, to see what it’s been like for me…
and how different it could be with someone like him.
Someone kind. Considerate. Someone who would value my pleasure just as much. If not more.
‘He was selfish,’ I murmur, raising my hand to his chest, feeling his hot, hard heat flex beneath my touch. ‘It was always about him: his needs, his gratification.’ I trail my fingertips down his front. ‘But you… you’re not like that.’ I reach the tip of his waistband. ‘Are you?’
His hand clamps around my wrist, tight, trembling, his breath turning shallow.
‘ Don’t , Sadie,’ he warns. ‘You don’t know what you’re asking for.’
‘You’re wrong. I do know.’ I lean into him, my nipples straining against the confines of my bra, my thighs already slick with need.
‘I’m not standing here as an eighteen-year-old virgin caught up in her first crush.
I’m a woman who knows what she wants, and what she needs. And right now, that’s you.’
‘But I’m trying to protect you .’
‘From what? From feeling good for once in my damn life?’
‘You’ve been drinking.’