Chapter 36 Willow
WILLOW
My heart is racing so fast that it’s like a hum in my chest, and the room almost seems like it’s spinning as I suck in lungfuls of air.
I cling to Vic, and it’s such a wonderful novelty to be able to do that. I love the way he’s melted against me, holding no part of himself back. He’s a heavy weight, molded against my body, our sweat and his cum drying against our skin.
When I glance over toward the door, I realize with a start that the room is empty now except for us. At some point, Malice and Ransom must have left, letting us have this moment to ourselves.
They must’ve known we needed it.
I bite my lip, blinking back the rush of emotion that hits me with that thought.
I never saw this coming. The girl I once was would never have been able to imagine falling for any of the Voronin brothers, let alone all three of them. She never could’ve imagined being shared by them, and I think this thing between us took them by surprise too.
But I’m glad it worked out this way. I’m glad they didn’t get jealous or angry toward each other, and I’m glad they never made me choose between them.
The bond between all three of them is so strong, and I love that Malice and Ransom look out for Vic. That they care about him enough to give him this.
Several long minutes tick by, and although I’d be perfectly content to stay like this forever, Vic gets too heavy after a while, cutting off my circulation, so I squirm under him.
He doesn’t pull out, but he does roll us a little so we’re both on our sides, facing each other on the bed. His softening cock is still mostly inside me, and I like the feeling of still being connected to him.
He must like it too, because he stays close, his face buried against my neck. I stroke his sweat-dampened hair and let my eyes drift shut, soaking up the feeling.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” I tell him softly.
“I have too,” he replies.
He sounds almost like he’s in a daze, but not the same way he was after we left the diner. Not as blank and robotic as he was then, when he was trying to lock all of his raging emotions into a tiny box and bury it inside himself.
I rub one hand up and down his back, smiling.
“I’ve had fantasies about you, you know,” I say. “About all the things I wanted you to do to me. I couldn’t have imagined how good the real thing would be, though.”
He hums against my skin, and it’s silent for a second before he murmurs, “Back when we first met you, I… stole a pair of your panties. And then I jerked off with them.”
My jaw drops in surprise. Part of me is shocked, because that seems incredibly out of character for Vic, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
And I can’t even bring myself to be mad, because it’s kind of hot.
He wanted me, all that time ago, when I was so sure that he hated me.
The attraction went both ways, and that’s good to know.
“Huh,” I say, my voice light and teasing. “Well, next time you get the urge to do something like that, you should let me watch. Maybe I’ll even pick out the pair of panties I want you to use.”
He groans and leans up to kiss me, taking his time with it. His mouth is hot and soft against mine, and he kisses me like he’s never going to get enough of this. Like even after everything we just did, he’s still starving for me.
I kiss him back, reveling in the feeling.
Eventually, his cock slips out of me, finally softened and resting on my inner thigh.
“I’ve never felt anything like that before,” Vic admits after a while. “It was like I had no control, but it wasn’t bad.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Usually, being out of control is… terrifying. I don’t know what I’ll do or what will happen. I can’t predict anything. But this… I knew you were with me.”
“I’m always with you,” I tell him. “Always. And I’m glad we did it. I’m glad you trusted me. That you trusted yourself.”
He nods again, then huffs a quiet laugh. “I’m not a virgin anymore. I was so sure that was never going to change.”
“Are you going to miss it?” I ask, pulling back a little to grin at him.
He snorts. “No. It wasn’t a point of pride or anything.
There was just no one I wanted before you.
I didn’t see the point in fucking someone just to do it.
Just for some rite of passage. Until you came along, I was perfectly happy to jerk off on my designated days, just to take care of my body’s needs.
I would get pent up, and then I’d take care of it.
I can’t even say that I really enjoyed it. ”
Something about that makes me feel sad, but it’s not pity. Vic built his life the way he did because he needed to. Because he didn’t want certain things the same way Ransom and Malice did.
“But it’s different now?” I ask.
“Everything is different now,” he murmurs. “It still scares me sometimes, and overwhelms me a lot of the time, but… I think I’d rather feel things than not feel them. Especially when it comes to you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“For what?”
“For letting me in like that. For opening yourself up to me this way. I know it wasn’t easy.”
Vic is quiet for a moment, and he turns his face more into my neck, almost like he’s trying to hide a bit. It’s adorable that a man who’s so skilled and dangerous—a man who’s literally killed for me—can also be so shy about some things.
My heart swells in my chest, aching pleasantly.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you.” His voice is a low rumble against my skin.
“At least not after things changed between us. I wanted you. I wanted you even when I wished I didn’t.
It was like no matter how much I told myself that you were a bad idea and that I needed to keep my distance, I craved you anyway.
But I didn’t think I could have you, and…
I worried that I would be a disappointment. ”
“In what way?” I ask, frowning.
He shifts a little against me. “Every way? I don’t know. Mostly in bed. Compared to my brothers, I have no experience. And I saw first-hand how good they made you feel. How they opened you up and showed you how things could be. I didn’t think I could measure up to that.”
I grin, taking one of his hands and dragging it down my cum covered chest and stomach to my pussy. More of his cum is leaking out, mixing with the wetness of my arousal, and I let his fingers drag through the mess.
“Are you kidding me? Does this feel like me being disappointed? It was amazing, Vic. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Feeling you mark me this way turned me on so much.”
There’s a sharp intake of breath, and Vic’s nostrils flare as he lifts his head. When I let go of his hand, he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he presses his fingers inside me, slipping two right into my pussy.
I moan, squirming against him. My body responds immediately, although not as strongly as it did the first time he touched me like this. I’m worn out from the marathon before, even though I can feel my clit pulsing with a distant sort of need.
He starts fucking me gently with his fingers, and I can hear how wet the slide is, the mess of our combined arousal squishing in and out of me as he moves his fingers faster.
“Vic,” I whine softly, pushing my hips closer even as exhaustion weighs me down. “I don’t think I can come again. I’m spent.”
He leans in and kisses me, heat searing through me as his mouth moves against mine. When he pulls back, his blue eyes are intent, and he doesn’t look away for a second.
Watching me. Always watching.
“One more,” he whispers. “For me. Give me one more, butterfly.”
Something about the way he says it, the soft plea in his voice, makes me determined to do what he wants. My breath hitches and my heart stammers in my chest as I reach down to grip his forearm, rolling my hips as I ride his hand.
He adds another finger, thrusting all three of them as deep into me as they can go, and I let the waves of pleasure sweep me up.
His thumb finds my clit, toying with it lightly, rubbing in small circles that send jolts of sensation shooting through my belly. It’s enough to make me catch my breath sharply, and when my orgasm hits, it almost takes me by surprise.
I clench around his fingers, gripping his arm and moaning his name, and when I come this time, it really is the last one I have in me. I flop against the bed, letting the aftershocks work their way through me, breathing hard, already half out of it.
He drags his fingers out of me, and I catch his forearm, forcing my eyes open so that I can meet his gaze.
“Will you stay?” I ask, a note of uncertainty creeping into my voice. It feels like something monumental has shifted between us, but I know that not everything can change in a single day.
In answer though, Vic gathers me in his arms, pulling me close.
He kisses the tangled strands of my hair, and when my eyelids drift shut, they stay that way. The last thing I hear as I fall asleep is him whispering in my ear, although I’m too tired to make out the words.