9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
W hen he’d entered the apartment with Fin, they’d seemed guarded, on edge, like at any point, someone would jump out to startle them. However, as they’d eaten pizza like a goblin and flirted every other sentence, Fin had calmed down and acted like their snarky self.
However, the second the knock had sounded at the door, Fin’s shoulders tensed again.
They were full of mysteries, for sure, but Ollie recognized their deflection for what it was. He’d mastered that at an early age. Maybe that was why he felt so comfortable with them from the start, as if they were a kindred spirit in a way.
“Want me to tell Jules to go away?” Ollie said, needing to defuse the tension.
“Nah, the threshold spell to my house has been ruined anyway, so we might as well get the whole parade stomping through,” they said, a glint of amusement in their features.
Fin pushed up from their spot on the couch.
“How mother hennish is Jules going to be? Can I antagonize? How much are you comfortable with them knowing?”
Ollie had been bracing himself for the moment Jules stormed in, full of worries. He loved his brother something fierce, but he was so tired of getting viewed as too young to handle himself. However, the idea of Fin’s brand of chaos descending?
“Oh fuck yes. Share away.”
Fin’s grin grew wolfish, and they headed for the door. The second they opened it, not just Jules but also Izzy burst into the house like they expected him to be passed out somewhere.
“What happened?” Izzy marched right up to him. She was in her business-professional attire, her hair only slightly mussed. “Why the fuck were you parked outside an abandoned factory?”
“We were fucking there.” Fin crossed their arms across their chest. “I can’t get it up unless I’m surrounded by destruction.”
Izzy opened her mouth, closed it again, then opened it again.
Ollie’s laugh exploded out of him. Fuck, he didn’t think it was possible for someone to strike Izzy speechless, but if anyone would, Fin would be the person.
“You haven’t met Fin before,” Julian said to Izzy, as if the comment had never happened, clearly prepared for Fin’s nonsense. “But they’re a regular at Tabletop Tavern.” Julian glanced at Ollie. “Are you feeling better? I drove your car over and parked outside. Izzy’s my ride.”
“Thank you,” Ollie said. As much as he struggled sometimes with his position in the family, he was grateful for how much they cared. Not everyone had that support .
“Of course. I just want you to be okay. Is this really the type of thing you want to be getting into, though, with your diabetes?” he asked, his eyes full of concern.
Irritation welled up inside Ollie. No one trusted him to make good decisions, even though he’d been living on his own for a few years now and holding down a regular job, which was more than even Luke or Amelia could say, since they were still in school.
Granted, both of them would end up in high-paying careers, but he was doing fine.
“Mm, pretty sure that’s his call, not yours,” Fin said. “He told me about his diabetes, which was all he needed to do responsibility-wise.”
Julian wrinkled his nose, clearly not convinced, but he didn’t respond.
Ollie’s heart thumped harder as he stared at Fin.
Their confidence that made him fucking swoon.
They were strong and resolute in a way that made it easy to drop to his knees for them.
Even the hint of loneliness he caught in their expression drew him in more.
Fin had clearly established they were in the no-attachments club, though, so he needed to keep that in mind. He’d find it far too easy to fall for someone like them, and he had a habit of forming attachments.
“You’re feeling okay now, though? How’s your blood sugar?” Izzy asked, her gaze narrowed as she scanned him from head to toe as if he might fall over.
“It wasn’t like I passed out, guys,” Ollie said. “I was a little shaky afterward, and Fin made the call to take me to their place and get me stable rather than letting me drive off.”
Julian’s shoulders relaxed, his gaze softening. “Good.”
“What are your intentions with my brother?” Izzy asked, all brimstone and bluntness, as usual.
Before Ollie could tell her to fuck off with the nosy questions, Fin responded.
“To defile him, obviously. ”
Ollie couldn’t hold back the laugh this time either. Fuck, Fin handled his siblings in the best damn way. Unapologetic and unashamed, and for once, he felt so fucking seen. So understood.
Julian groaned. “Ugh, things I never wanted to think about.” He pointed a finger at Fin. “And that wasn’t an invitation to go and describe in explicit detail.”
Fin batted their lashes. “Who, me? I would never.”
They so fucking would.
Giddiness bloomed inside him.
“Ollie, mind giving me a ride home?” Jules asked. “Izzy came right from a meeting, and she’s heading in the opposite direction to hit happy hour with her coworkers.”
Disappointment tugged in Ollie’s chest. Truly, the answer was no. He wanted to stay in Fin’s apartment and learn more about the enigma that had ensnared his attention.
“I’ll send some pizza with you.” Fin walked toward the kitchen.
They weren’t dealing with the same withdrawal he was, and they’d made their intentions with him pretty straightforward from the start.
Now that he’d had time to settle, the reason to camp at their apartment dissolved, even if he wanted to stay.
“I’m good,” he said. “Just hit me up when you want to do the next shoot, yeah?”
Because that was one thing that bound them together right now, one thing he could hold on to.
Fin’s eyes lit up as if they’d forgotten about the shoot in the wake of what had happened after.
“Fuck yeah. I can’t wait.” They slunk up beside him and murmured in his ear.
“And if there’s any lingering fog or mood swings, don’t hesitate to text me, okay?
I want to make sure you’re not sub dropping or anything. ”
Ollie licked his lips, warmth rushing through him.
The care in those rarely serious hazel eyes stopped him still.
Even if Fin wasn’t the relationship sort, they were someone he wanted in his life, whatever the capacity.
They’d proven that already through their words and actions. “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”
“I need a drink after all this.” Izzy took the lead and strode toward the door.
Jules stared at him purposefully, which Ollie purposefully ignored as they both headed out too.
The door to Fin’s apartment shut with a click behind him, and Ollie’s chest sank.
Guaranteed this wouldn’t be an innocent drive back but an interrogation.
Julian had been too much of a parent to him his whole life for it not to be.
They reached the bottom of the steps and looped around to the street.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Ollie.” Izzy squeezed him in a hug. “Your choice in fuck buddies is questionable, but I’m glad there wasn’t any danger. Apart from the whole roaming around an abandoned building thing. Maybe don’t do that.”
“Wasn’t my first time at the building.” Ollie hugged Izzy back. “Probably won’t be my last.”
“Ugh, stop making me worry more,” Izzy said. “I’ll down an extra drink for that.”
“You would anyway,” Julian teased as he hugged Izzy as well.
Ollie marched toward his car, needing to brace himself for whatever Julian would say.
His brother was one of the kindest people on the planet, and Ollie had been a dick to him over the years, pushing back in whatever way possible.
That had calmed the older he got, but some days, when he wanted to hurt, kindness scratched at him with claws.
He hopped in the driver’s seat of his Subaru, an older model he’d patched up himself. Julian slipped in the passenger’s seat .
Ollie cast him a glance as he started the ignition. “So, did you really need a ride, or was that an excuse?”
Julian fixed him with a look. “I do. Izzy’s heading back to her after-hours time with coworkers, and I didn’t want to put her out.”
Ollie set on the road in the direction of Julian and Cal’s house. “Were you with Cal and Kay? Sorry I pulled you away from that.”
Jules shrugged. “They were watching Frozen for the thousandth time. I can let Elsa go, just this once.”
Ollie shook his head, a grin rising to his lips. “Parenthood looks good on you.”
“Wonder where I got the practice,” Jules teased.
Ollie’s chest squeezed tight. He and Amelia wouldn’t have survived into adulthood without Jules.
Mom had died when he was very young, and he couldn’t remember her much, just fuzzy memories of soft smiles and the sharp scent of gardenia.
While Izzy and Luke had been old enough to fend for themselves, Jules had stepped in to help Dad, both logistically and emotionally.
“Yeah, but now you’re getting to do it on your terms.”
“Having Cal by my side helps a lot,” he said, his voice taking on a dreamy tone whenever he talked about his boyfriend.
Envy spasmed in Ollie’s chest. The idea of having one person look at him like he was the sole thing in existence…
he couldn’t even imagine it. Not like he’d ever experienced that intensity with his boyfriend or girlfriends.
Ollie was a temporary thrill, there for a good time but never anyone’s long term.
And damn, he wanted to be someone’s long term.
“You guys are perfect together.” Ollie clutched the wheel a little tighter as he set onto the freeway.
“You could find that too,” Jules said. “Though not with Fin. ”
That statement out in the open slammed into his stomach like a blow. Maybe a part of him had been fixating too hard on how they made him feel, on how they’d brought him into this whole new world of exploration.
“They’re just introducing me to the kink scene,” Ollie said. “Nothing more than that.”
One skill he’d mastered was pretending to be okay, even when he wasn’t.
“Ugh, things I didn’t need to know about the baby brother I raised.
” Julian made a disgusted noise. “At least you’re with someone safe.
Fin might be a commitment phobe, but they’re a good person.
And Whipped is about the best place you could go for exploration into that scene.
Jas and Matt do some of the classes and nights over there. ”
“Oh, so your crew isn’t entirely vanilla.” Ollie waggled his brows. “Think Jasper and Matt want a third?”
“No, no, no,” Jules said. “I don’t even want to think about any of that. Gross.”
“Mmm, Jasper’s the Dom in that relationship, right? So, I have a newly awakened submissive side…”
“Things I never needed to know,” Jules grumbled, and amusement fluttered through Ollie.
Though after each encounter with Fin, he found himself curious about more and more. Restraints, cock cages, breeding kink—his mind raced with so many things he wanted to try.
With them.
He swallowed hard. Even if they weren’t the forever type, maybe they’d at least play with him for a bit so he could explore these newly awakened interests.
Because Fin was the first person in a long damn while he connected with so easily, and already, he trusted them.
Today had proved how good a Dom they were .
They could’ve clapped him on the shoulder and parted ways. Instead, they had stayed, taken him to their place, and ensured he was safe. That meant everything.
He pulled up in front of Jules and Cal’s house, a picturesque rancher in the burbs. His brother was meant for the picket fence, the husband, the kid. Ollie, though? Fuck, he didn’t even know himself half the time, let alone his desires.
“I’m aware you’re an adult now,” Jules said. “But be careful with the hijinks you get up to, okay? I love you.”
A lump formed in Ollie’s throat. Well, he was defenseless to shit like that. “Love you too,” he murmured, the words coming out raspy. “Give your kiddo extra squeezes from Uncle Ollie.”
“You don’t want to come in?” Julian stepped out of the passenger’s side.
The comfort of the cozy home beckoned. He loved all the people inside, but some days, he felt…too much for that sort of life. As if he was a bucket of damage set to spill over an idyllic scene.
“Nah. I’m going to get some rest and coast out the adrenaline crash. Thanks again, Jules.”
“Always.” He patted the side of the car. When he walked toward the front door, Ollie set off down the road again.
As much as he envied what Julian had, the coziness would never be for him.
Ollie had never been able to accept affection without a sting.
And the truth that he’d been well aware of for years swelled to the surface. Someone as damaged as him would never find love.