Chapter 2
TWO
LUKAS
“You must be Lukas. I’m Sawyer Whitehead.
I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” Sawyer said as he shook my hand.
When he walked in, I had a brief panic that maybe I’d underdressed.
I was in my standard ripped jeans and a soft Henley with the sleeves pushed up.
Looking at Sawyer, though, I realized that he looked exactly like someone Thurston would know.
Sawyer shed his peacoat and draped it on the back of his chair.
Broad shoulders filled out a dark gray cable knit sweater.
“Thanks for meeting with me.” I noticed Sawyer’s rosy cheeks when he smiled.
“Thurston has a way about him. He’s pretty convincing.”
A server came around, and we asked for coffees. I ordered a turkey club with salad while Sawyer ordered fries. Just fries.
“So, I guess, first things first. What kind of payment and timeline are we looking at? Are you on a deadline, or is this a passion project?” Sawyer measured out two spoons of sugar to his coffee.
“Uh, I’ll admit that I don’t know the going rate for this kind of thing, but I promise I’m good for it. I can pay half up front and the rest when the book is done. And it’s not on any kind of a deadline. I didn’t want to overpromise and under deliver, you know.”
“That’s smart. And it takes the pressure off.” Sawyer took a sip of his coffee. “Thurston tells me you’re an actor. How long have you been doing that?”
Relief swamped me. I’d not been looking forward to yet another conversation with yet another writer who didn’t want to work with a porn star.
Sorry, adult film star. I’d tried to find someone on my own, but everyone I found were either creeps who wanted to do the project because they thought it would get them access to a retired porn star, or they ran the minute they found out what I did for a living.
They didn’t want to tarnish their reputation.
“Since the end of high school. I’d just turned eighteen. You know how that goes.” I’d been young and broke. Raised by a woman who worked two jobs just to keep the lights on. For years I’d kept my real job from her, only telling her when somehow my career choice got back to her.
Growing up, it had just been Mom and me. Dad was gone by the time I started kindergarten. I spent much of my childhood alone and hungry. The offer of easy money and a group of similar age guys to call family was too enticing to pass up.
“Thurston tells me you have a book published.” It would have been nice to say that I’d read it, but that wasn’t likely to happen. “What’s it about?”
“It’s a science-fiction romance. It’s super gay.” Sawyer tipped his chin up like he was challenging me to say anything bad about it.
I grinned instead. “I, too, happen to be super gay.”
Sawyer’s shoulders relaxed, and he let out a breath. “Sorry. I just find it easier to drop the whole gay thing on people as soon as possible. Weeds out the assholes that way.”
“Don’t apologize for watching out for yourself. And full disclosure, I am an asshole, but I’m not that kind of an asshole. So tell me, Sawyer, how does this whole thing work?”
“Well, I’ve never done this kind of thing before, so a lot of the process will be trial and error until we find what works, but I imagine we’ll start by talking about approximately how many years you plan to cover.
Will it be your entire life up to this point, or just a certain period with maybe some other context sprinkled in?
And from there, we’ll have to figure out our process.
Like, if you have notes or anything written down for me to draft from—”
I shook my head. “There’s nothing written down.”
Instead of asking for an explanation, which I was grateful for, Sawyer forged ahead as if I’d never interrupted.
“So without notes to go off, there would likely be several meetings for us to discuss the material in each chapter. If you wanted to provide recordings, I could work from those and just touch base with questions I might have. I’d send you each chapter as I completed it so you could sign off on it.
I think we’ll have to play a lot of it by ear until we find a system that works for both of us. ”
“I’m impressed.” I leaned back in my chair and wrapped my hand around my coffee cup, forgoing the handle entirely. “The other people I met with weren’t half as organized as this.”
The tips of Sawyer’s ears turned red at the compliment. “Have you ever taken one of Thurston’s classes? He’s a menace, but he taught me a lot.”
“I actually know him only through Eugene.”
“Oh. Sorry. How do you know Eugene?”
“Well, you know Eugene. Always looking for a way to piss off his family, and it just so happens that investing in one of my productions was a great way to get under their skin. That was a few years ago now, but we keep in touch.”
The smile Sawyer flashed was bright, and he dipped his head. If I was looking for a hookup and not a ghostwriter, I’d definitely have hit on Sawyer. He was just my type. Clean cut with a bit of an innocent look to him. He’d look amazing all rumpled and freshly fucked.
“We should draw up some kind of contract before we get started,” Sawyer was saying as the food arrived.
“I’ll get in touch with Thurston and see if there’s a template I can look at, or if there’s a lawyer he recommends for this kind of thing.
” He doused his fries in vinegar and salt and dug in, popping a couple in his mouth.
“We should also discuss credit. Is this a ghostwriter situation where you get full credit for writing the book? That’s fine by me. Either way, I assume there will be some sort of nondisclosure agreement that I need to sign.”
When I gawked instead of answering, Sawyer’s smile fell. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take over the conversation.”
“No, it’s fine. I was just too busy being impressed to answer.
Like I said, I tried to hire people before, but they either backed out the minute they found out what I did for a living, or they were in it for the wrong reasons.
I had a couple of fans apply, but then in the initial meeting, all they did was hit on me. ”
Sawyer made a face that smacked of disapproval. “That’s shitty of them. I’m sorry.”
Shrugging, I turned my attention to my sandwich.
It was almost too thick for me to get a proper bite of, and I had to squish it down.
I finished the first half as we ate in comfortable silence.
I liked that about Sawyer. How confident he was about what he knew, and that he didn’t feel the need to bury every silence in endless chatter.
“Can I ask why you want to write this?” Sawyer grimaced.
“I mean, I just have this opinion, and it’s going to sound super shitty, but bear with me.
I think a lot of people think their lives are more interesting than they are.
It’s natural to feel that way, you know.
Because we are the main characters in our lives, so why wouldn’t people want to know about us? ”
“I should be insulted.”
Sawyer flinched and curled in on himself.
“I should be, but I’m not. I definitely didn’t follow the normal path of growing up, graduating, getting into college, marrying, and popping out kids.
I’m thirty-six, but I’ve been through enough shit to fill two biographies.
But what I’m most interested in is being open and honest about what it was like to get into this industry when I was so young and vulnerable. ”
“Thirty-six? Damn. I need to get your skin care routine.” Sawyer laughed.
“It’s a combination of sunblock and good genetics. The occasional mask, but nothing fancy, to be honest.”
“Ah yes, pale is the new tan. And me with my perpetually rosy complexion. It’s a curse.”
“I wouldn’t call it that.” Damn it, Lukas. Do not flirt with the writer. “So, contract. How long do you think that will take?”
Sawyer cleared his throat and pretended that I hadn’t flirted with him. It was a shame that he was so perfect for what I needed because I was genuinely attracted to him. But after he heard my life story, I highly doubted he’d want much of anything to do with me.
“Probably a week or so at least. I want to make sure I research a fair rate for the both of us, and then find an agreement that protects both our interests. But I’m definitely interested.
I’ve read a few biographies over the years so there’s different ideas I have, depending on the tone of your story.
” Sawyer winced. “Sorry, I can get carried away sometimes.”
“No. Don’t apologize. It’s nice to meet someone who takes shit seriously.”
The alarm on my phone went off, indicating that I had an hour to get back to the set and get ready for the next shoot. I was loath to leave Sawyer’s company, though.
“Sorry, I have somewhere I need to be. Truthfully, if I’d known that today was going to go so well, I would have given us more time to talk.”
The grin Sawyer flashed me was brilliant. “If your meetings had gone as bad as you say, I don’t blame you for having an emergency exit planned.”
“I really did enjoy meeting you.”
“Likewise.” Sawyer reached into his pocket and grabbed his wallet, but I stopped him.
“No, let me pay. It’s a business expense anyway.”
Sawyer hesitated but nodded and put his wallet away. “Thank you.”
I paid for lunch and walked Sawyer out of the restaurant.
I had half a mind to invite him for a behind-the-scenes look, but I had a newbie shooting later, and I didn’t want my attention to be divided between them.
Then I heard Jax’s voice in my head. He was a fellow adult content creator and a friend.
We’d met years ago when we were both still filming porn.
Jax was often my voice of reason, and this time he had my back by telling me not to be weird.
We paused on the sidewalk, both of us seemingly unhurried to part ways, but it couldn’t be helped. I stuck my hand out and shook his, my entire body heating at the way his hand felt in mine. His firm grip was delivered by soft, warm skin.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Sawyer. I’m excited to work with you. I think this will be a great opportunity for both of us.”
“I feel the same way.” Sawyer pulled his hand away and tucked it in the pocket of his coat. Spring was trying to come to the state, but the wind still had a distinctly winterish bite to it. “We’ll talk soon. Take care.”
Sawyer turned and went the opposite direction that I had to go, but I watched him walk away for a few moments before I turned and forced myself to go back to work.
I sent a text letting my assistant, Ash, know that I was on my way back to help with the shoot, and then I pushed Sawyer and all thoughts about him out of my mind.