Chapter 30
After spending fifteen awkward minutes in the kitchen with Laura and Mark packing up food to go, I began to wonder where Declan was. He said he’d be quick, and he was just going to the restroom. When we escaped to fool around upstairs earlier, I didn’t know I’d be faced with spending time with his parents by myself tonight. It’s not like they were going to say anything about our not-so-sneaky escapades but knowing what we had done under their roof had me feeling a bit embarrassed.
“I’m gonna go check on Declan.” I smiled, excusing myself.
As I walked to the other side of the house, down the long hallway, I started to hear some rustling in the bathroom that caught my attention. Instead of making myself known, I took a minute to listen in.
I felt guilty for eavesdropping, but Declan didn’t want to talk to me about what was going on between him and Myles last night, and I felt like I was being left in the dark. It very well could be family drama—brother stuff, as he called it. But deep down, it felt like more. I felt like I was out of the loop when I should be in it.
Whispers were being exchanged on the other side of the door when I stood quietly close by.
“I blacked out behind the wheel on October 8 th ,” Myles admitted to his brother.
A gasp left my mouth as tears threatened to prick at my eyes. My hands flew up to my mouth, forcing my emotions to stay inside while I continued to listen.
Silence was on the other side of the door for a few long moments. I think Declan was trying to wrap his head around this information just as much as I was. Could Myles really be the reason my dad was dead?
I could barge through the door right now if I wanted to, but I don’t think I’d get answers that way.
“I have to tell Paige,” Declan whispered. I stood there shaking, forcing myself to be quiet. Realization hit me. Declan was choosing me over his brother. He was prioritizing me over his brother and his family.
Why did that make me feel like shit?
This was huge. Knowing who was behind my dad’s hit and run, giving my family answers. Justice. But by giving us closure, it could completely ruin Myles’ life and their family. Any other person would explode into a fit of rage if they overheard the same conversation I had. My feelings weren’t always instant though. It took me a minute to fully grasp what was going on. I thought about every outcome and every person before I allowed myself to really feel the depth of what was happening.
Whispers were low and I was trying my best to hear every word exchanged, but there were moments that were broken up. Between sobs and whispers, some of it was hard to make out. Then I heard that name. The name that had been haunting me since I returned back home.
Logan. Logan fucking Brooks.
What did he have to do with this? And I swear to God, if he did have anything to do with it, justice is exactly what I would get. At any cost. After hearing his name, the rage crept in.
I’ve overheard enough to know this was a complicated situation. I knew Declan wanted to tell me everything and Myles wanted to keep it all quiet. But I already made that decision for them. I was standing right here listening in and they’d both know it as soon as that door opened. We’d all figure this out together, whether Myles liked it or not.
By the end of their conversation, I was fuming. Tears started to stream down my cheeks, and at this point, it was uncontrollable. I had mixed emotions.
Hurt. Sad. Betrayed. Angry.
The doorknob jiggled, the sound of the lock coming undone. I didn’t try to hide the way I was feeling. What was the point?
My devastated eyes met Declan’s. His face dropped, looking absolutely defeated.
“I didn’t want you to find out this way. I promise I was going to tell you.” He took an eager step toward me, pulling me hard against his body. I don’t think I’d ever had a tighter hug than this one; there was something desperate about it. His arms wrapped fully around me when I sobbed into his muscular chest, makeup and tears staining his white shirt.
My shoulders continued to shake, feeling lower than I’ve ever felt since I’ve been back home. Lower than the day I found out my dad died. Lower than his funeral. Lower than all the days Logan made me feel unsafe. Feeling low was an understatement. I felt fucking depleted, empty, and downright miserable.
Declan had been my constant since I’ve been back. He had been my light in the darkest moments. But he was right. How could I look at him and not think about the person who is responsible for my father’s death? That thought lingered in the back of my mind.
“I know you were planning on telling me. I trust you.” I sniffled, mumbling into his chest.
I tore myself away from his hard, comforting body when I looked behind him. I made eye contact with Myles; his face was painted with deep remorse and regret. He remained still, not a single sound coming from his direction. I mean, after all, what do you say to the daughter of the person you killed?
So, I spoke up first, “Myles, I need you to tell me everything.”
“Didn’t you just hear it all from the hallway?” he responded hoarsely.
“I did. But you’ll look me in the eyes when you say it this time. You’ll look me in the eyes and tell me you left my dad for dead,” I let out in anger.
I pulled Declan back into the bathroom where Myles was still lingering and closed the door behind us. I took a tissue, wiped my tear-stained makeup off, and told Myles to start from the beginning. Declan stood there, his hand on my back being the best support system I could ask for in a moment like this. The tears stopped, anger setting in while the sadness was pushed away for now.
Myles started from the beginning, telling me exactly what he already told Declan. It wasn’t any easier hearing it for the second time. No details were left behind. When I heard it all for myself, I did have to admit that some things didn’t quite make sense.
What was Logan’s part in this?
Why did he want to blackmail Myles into telling Declan?
Why did Declan need to be the one to know and not anyone else?
Why wouldn’t Logan make him tell me? He’s my fucking father.
If Myles truly crashed his car, why wouldn’t he be hassling him to pay him for repairs?
There were too many loose ends and none of it made sense. My gut told me Myles wasn’t guilty here, he was a good person. But even good people did bad things sometimes.
My brain was wracked with questions, and there would only be one solution here.
“I need to have a conversation with Logan,” I blurted out.
“Paige, no. There is no way this will go over well. Let me talk to him,” Declan argued back.
“I know him best. I’ve been in the middle of his bullshit too many times to recall and this is just another one of those times. I’m going to get to the bottom of this and I’m going to get the answers I need. I know better than anyone how to drag information out of him and I’m going to figure this the fuck out,” I demanded. The boys were stunned silent. They couldn’t tell me what to do in this situation and they knew it.
“Myles, you aren’t out of the woods yet. Thank you for telling me but I have a lot to think about. I won’t tell anyone yet. Not until after I talk with Logan. I’ll decide what to do next after that conversation,” I said, stoically turning toward Declan, desperate to get out of here.
“Please grab the leftovers from your mom and let her know I wasn’t feeling well. I can’t say goodbye to her like this without giving away the fact that some shit went down. I’ll meet you at the truck.” After addressing both Declan and Myles, I turned off my emotions briefly to give myself time to escape the house without being seen.
“Paige, wait…” Myles finally found the courage to speak. Through a shaky voice, I turned around to face him. “I’m really sorry. I’m not sure how yet but I promise to make this right. Why don’t you both get out of here and forget about the leftovers? I’ll let mom know you weren’t feeling well so you both had to get out of here for the night.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, headed for the front door.
Declan hung back for a second to talk to Myles, but before I could reach the front door, he jogged up behind me, right on my heels and escorted me out.
The drive back to Declan’s house was eerily quiet. Our minds were both reeling with the information weighing heavily on our hearts.
The house I wanted to consider home so badly was straight ahead. “I understand if you don’t want to be around me tonight and want to go back to your mom’s house, but I just want to let you know I want nothing more than to have you in my bed tonight. I know it’s been a long night, and a lot has been said, but I want to be there for you—if you need me,” Declan let out with hesitation.
“It’s probably not the best idea for me to go home. I can’t face them while holding onto this kind of news. I don’t want all of this to somehow slip when I don’t have all the details. They deserve the full story, and I plan to get that for them. For me.” I sighed in defeat.
I was stuck in this impossible situation. I was falling so hard for Declan and that wouldn’t change. But what if everything Logan was telling Myles was actually true? What if he really did kill my dad that night? Everything would have to change.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I walked straight to the massive modern restroom, shutting the door behind me. I flipped the nozzle all the way, warm water and steam filling the mirrors and open space around me. Before I washed up, I took out my phone and scrolled to where my blocked numbers were.
Logan Brooks
I clicked the contact I’d had blocked for years, hoping his phone number hadn’t changed. I didn’t beat around the bush when I sent him a text for the first time in twelve years.
Me: Meet me tomorrow. We need to talk.
Who knew when he would answer or if he would at all. I didn’t even know if he kept his phone number or not. Just as I was about to get in the shower, my phone dinged with a response almost instantly.
Logan: Wow. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. What could it be that we need to talk about so urgently?
He was so smug, and he knew it. Now that I’ve put the puzzle pieces together, this was exactly what he was trying to tell me that day in the park.
Me: I’m sure you know exactly what we need to talk about. Meet me at Mugs for coffee in the morning, 10AM.
Logan: I’ll be there. But leave your bodyguard at home.
I wanted Declan there. He made me feel safe. But if it meant Logan giving me some answers, then I would leave him out of it. We were meeting in public so the chances of Logan doing anything crazy were slim.
Declan and I laid quietly in bed, exhausted from the long day. My face was puffy from all of the crying, and I couldn’t help but think over how my day had gone as a whole. It started off as one of the best days I had since being back home, and it ended on the complete other side of the spectrum.
I turned onto my side, one hand under my head on the pillow and the other reached out on Declan’s chest. “You know my dad’s favorite holiday used to be Thanksgiving,” I reflected.
Declan turned his head at the sound of my voice. He took my hand in his, turning to lay on his side as well so we were both looking at each other. “Tell me about your favorite Thanksgiving with him.”
It would be hard talking about my favorite Thanksgiving when I just experienced my worst. But if I was going to open up to anyone, it would be Declan. My dad wasn’t here anymore and there were a lot of unanswered questions, but he deserved to be alive in my memories.
“I was fifteen,” I started, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “Chase was really young and giving Mom a hard time—in his “terrible twos”. She didn’t want to cook an elaborate meal, so we picked up pizzas for Thanksgiving dinner. She stayed back at home with Chase while Dad and I left to pick everything up. I was excited to leave the house and have some one-on-one time with my dad. Chase was so young that it was hard for me to get any time alone with my parents then. But I had my driver's permit so I asked Dad if I could drive.” I hadn’t told this story before, just thought about it, especially recently. I cleared my throat, trying to fight off the emotions building inside me.
“He tossed me the keys to the truck, and I remember being so scared to drive it. The truck was so high off the ground, and it felt so big. But Dad put his full trust in me; it also helped that the roads were practically empty with it being a holiday. He let me choose the music since I was the one driving. I remember putting on the country radio station when a song by Trace Adkins played. Dad sang along in a deep raspy voice that I always loved the sound of. Mom used to say in another life he’d be a country singer. She always thought he was a doppelganger of Alan Jackson. Anyway, sorry I’m getting off on a tangent…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Keep going,” Declan encouraged as he rubbed my arm to sooth me.
“Anyway, the song that came on, it was called You’re Gonna Miss This . The song played out and Dad looked over at me and said, ‘This song makes me think of you’. I never really paid attention to the lyrics until the day my dad told me that. So, I asked him about the song, what made him think of me? His response was, ‘You’re so eager to grow up and get out of here. One day it will flash before your eyes and be gone. All of these simple moments you take for granted will be gone and you’ll want it all back’. I think his words hit a lot closer to home now than they did then. I always remembered that private conversation between us—and he was right. I was so eager to turn eighteen and get out of Colorado one day. But now I’m back and he isn’t here. I took it all for granted and I do want it back.” The tears from earlier were back. I was a sobbing mess, mentally and physically exhausted from the emotions that had washed over me in the last few hours.
“ Shhh … It’s okay. You don’t need to keep talking about it. Get everything out, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” He held me tight in his arms, just like he had earlier and let me cry it out on his chest.
“Promise? Promise you’re not going anywhere?” I pleaded. I couldn’t lose someone else in my life. Not now.
“I promise, Paige. If anything, you have every reason to leave me and that terrifies me. But I’m not going anywhere. I told you, you’re it for me, through the good, bad and everything in-between.”
He held me all night long, scratching my back and trying to comfort me as I fell asleep in any way he could. Eventually, I drifted off only to wake up the next morning dreading having to meet up with Logan.
I wanted the answers, but I didn’t want to have to get them from him.