Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
He stood in the doorway, a storm in human form.
His eyes held the warm molten gold color of alchemy.
The Lord wore jeans today, a lighter wash, the waistband frayed with age.
He wore a short sleeve t-shirt, powerful biceps bulging against the cotton.
Unlike Emberwood, where the mornings were usually chilly and required at least a light sweater, a Joy Springs summer took no prisoners.
Even with the cloud cover, the day was scorching hot.
Even with the mate bond warm inside my heart and Rowan waiting half a mile away, I wasn't blind. Caelan was beautiful. He always had been, and even with shadows resting heavy on his face, today was no exception. Grief at what might have been punched me in the solar plexus.
Once upon a time, I imagined a life with him. I thought we would grow old together, have children, and live a life of maybe not complete peace, but enough for us to remain happy, and comfortable. He'd been my everything, and I thought I was his.
But that fickle bitch doubt had crept into Caelan's psyche. And doubt allowed a worm of dark magic to wriggle its way in, and that worm had destroyed us.
Golden warmth crept into my heart, Rowan sensing my distress. Love swept through my entire body, his presence surrounding me, even from a distance.
I dragged in a breath. Another. One more.
Our gazes locked, Caelan's burnished gold, and mine the multi-colored whirl of my mixed heritage. Light flared in the space between us.
Blood thundered in my ears. Heat roared through my veins. My fists clenched.
I didn't love Caelan. Not anymore. Not like I did. But I still cared for him. I cared about what happened to him.
And I cared that we had torn ourselves apart over pride and power.
My lower lip trembled.
Moira brushed her fingers over my back. “I'll give you a moment.”
She jerked her head at Garrett. His jaw tightened, but he gave her a sharp nod. They walked several feet back and waited.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. There was so much I wanted to say, and yet, every time I tried before, Caelan would slap me down, shred my self-confidence, and the words would dry up.
He took a step outside the main house, his eyes still glowing.
My feet were rooted to the spot. I swallowed hard and watched him approach.
When he stood less than three feet away, he stopped. “Evie.”
“Caelan.” My voice cracked.
His gaze dropped to the spot in my chest where the mating bond rested. His eyes flared before he dragged them back to my face. At first, his face went completely blank, but then he sighed and tilted his head to the sky.
A tear welled at the corner of his eye. “Well,” he said, his voice a low rumble in the silence, “I've really fucked this up, haven't I?”
I couldn't say anything. He had. He really had. And now it was too late.
Another held my heart.
“I would have loved you forever,” I whispered. I'd said this to him before, but he'd always dismissed me, tossed my words aside like they were nothing.
This time, Caelan's jaw tightened. His nostrils flared and he nodded once, a sharp slice through the air. “I know. That's what makes this all feel so much worse.”
He exhaled. “I was so angry, Evie. I had all these things I wanted to say—vicious, terrible things. But when I saw you walk through those wards—” He cut himself off and ran a hand through his hair.
“When you walked through, shining and happy, that mating bond a beacon to every shifter within a mile, all those words dried up in my throat, and I felt…” He exhaled. “A horrific sense of loss. Something I'm not sure I'll ever recover from.”
We both expected for this meeting to end in a brawl, and part of wondered if we would both walk away at the end of this, but I had not expected this raw honesty from him.
Sometimes, events in your life burned a path right through your soul and nothing you did would make the wound heal.
That was Caelan for me. Our relationship had been a meteor streaking through a starless sky—there one moment and burned out the next, only a lump of ash left when it was all over.
He would always remain in my heart. I was not the type of woman who stopped caring about someone I'd loved as much as him.
But things were different now. And from the sadness in his eyes and the tightness in his jaw, Caelan realized it as well. There was no going back for us.
“I won't apologize for Rowan.” My voice was rough and husky. “I did not plan for him and made no preparations for what happened between us.”
Caelan's eyes burned with gold.
“He was my friend first and as much as I resisted what came after, I was as helpless to resist as the moon's call to gravity.”
He swallowed hard. “Few resist a mating bond,” he gritted out. “But yours isn't just a mating bond, is it, Evie?” His teeth flashed. “Leave it up to you two to forge something never seen before.”
The sadness in his words felt like a knife to my heart. Revealing Rowan was my fae mate as well would hint at something other in Rowan's heritage. Not my secret to tell, so I merely smiled. “Perhaps Chimera have their own form of bond, too.”
He took my words at face value. “As you can see, no mate has come to save me from myself.” Caelan swept his hands out across his property.
“We've had no visitors except for the goddess who wanted to tear my heart out. But we have had an exodus of people.” His jaw tightened.
“And I suppose I should scratch another's name off my list as my new Second hasn't returned and I no longer feel him through the bond.”
I winced. “He insulted the wrong person at the wrong time.” Not an apology, but an admission.
We were well within our rights to answer such an assault with death, though I would have preferred to handle the slight another way.
Garrett did not leave me time to process a thought, much less a new punishment.
Caelan sighed. “Unsurprising. Schute was an asshole.” His gaze flicked over my shoulder. “Garrett's doing?”
He already knew the answer. “He moves like lightning.”
Caelan nodded. “I've never seen anyone faster, not even with the Lords. I am surprised he stays with you when he could be Lord of his own territory.”
A scoff from behind. I had to catch myself from rolling my eyes. Of course they could hear us.
“I'd rather wash my balls with a hornet's nest,” Garrett drawled.
“Well,” Caelan said dryly, “our meetings feel like that sometimes, so the pain level is about the same if you want to think about it and let me know.”
That got an amused snort out of Garrett. “You're still an asshole, Caelan.”
The Lord sighed. “Yeah. I'm well aware of how everyone views me right now.”
Garrett came up behind me so silently, I jerked in surprise. “Dammit, Garrett,” I hissed.
He flashed me a grin. “You're down about forty percent?”
Caelan's jaw tightened. “Forty seven. Mass exodus after the land lock.”
Garrett let out a low whistle. “Men or women?”
“I shouldn't be telling you any of this, asshole.”
Garrett shrugged. “Then don't.”
Caelan stared at his former Enforcer for a long moment. “All the female shifters left. Their mates and significant others followed. All the shifters under the age of twenty-five vacated. The rest left once they saw the writing on the wall.”
Garrett slowly shook his head. “Fuck man.”
“Yeah.” Caelan jerked his head toward the Keep. “Come inside. There's lemonade and lunch if you want it.”
“Your cook didn't leave?”
“Nah. For some reason, he still likes me.”
I looked at Garrett who watched Caelan's back for a beat. He nodded. “Safe enough,” he said under his breath when Caelan was far away enough. “I think, Miss Evie, you've beaten him down long and hard enough for him to finally realize what a raging dickhead he's been.”
“Umm,” I said. “I'm not sure if that's good?”
“It's excellent,” Garrett said as he started for the door.
Shaking my head, I glanced back to see Moira walking toward me. “Seems like everything went okay.”
I felt nonplussed. “I think so?” Nothing about this meeting was normal. Was Garrett right? Had I beaten Caelan down so much he just gave up and decided to think like a rational adult and realize very little of this had been my fault?
She snorted. “Are you going to remove your grip on his land?”
I slowly shook my head. “Right now, it's the only thing keeping him safe from Danu. But maybe I can allow him to leave his property.”
“Baby steps,” Moira mused. “I like it.”
Garrett turned and waited for us. “You two move like elderly people.”
“Piss off,” Moira said cheerily, linking our arms together as she smiled at him.
Garrett's eyes narrowed, but his lips twitched too.
The changing dynamic between these two had me a little worried.
Both belonged to my “court” or whatever the hell I was supposed to have as the fae queen, and I planned to get rid of neither of them unless they wanted to be let go.
Any complications arising between them had the potential to disrupt a good thing.
But…I stifled my sigh. They were two consenting adults, and if the tension beginning to simmer between them had any legs, I'd do well to keep my nose out of it. I'd gotten a mate and a husband out of my own drama.
No need to complicate theirs. They'd figure it out, for good or ill.
That's all I could ask for.