Chapter 23
Callan
We stood in line for the big telescope, and despite the place being busy, it was surprisingly quiet. It seemed like this place was overcome with calmness, and nobody was in a rush. It was the exact opposite of what I was used to, and it was a nice change for once.
Lana kept looking around with this quiet focus, like she didn’t want to miss anything despite having been there a few times before.
She tried to play it off, but every time the dome above us shifted, her eyes followed the motion with this sharp attention that made it obvious how much this meant to her.
She didn’t talk to fill the silence. She spoke only when she had something real to share, and every word felt measured.
She pointed at the sky again, explaining how the colors helped her recognize certain planets.
She explained the details the way someone explained something they’ve known for years, and for her age, that alone was admirable.
She spoke in this calm, matter-of-fact tone that made it clear she wasn’t trying to show off.
She just knew it, because she cared enough to learn it.
I listened and didn’t interrupt. I watched the way she frowned a little when she thought about something before saying it, how she kept glancing up like she wanted to make sure she was giving accurate information.
And I kept all my thoughts to myself. I didn’t tell her how impressive she was or how easy it was to listen to her.
I didn’t tell her how much I respected the way she talked about things that mattered to her without embarrassment or hesitation.
Most people I knew didn’t bother learning anything that didn’t benefit them, which made Lana even more interesting.
We moved up the stairs toward the roof, where people crowded near the railing. Lana stood still for a moment and tilted her head back. Her expression softened, and a soft smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. She looked happy here. Calmer, too. Not something I could say about her back home.
“You know, the staff here changes which planet the telescope focuses on depending on the night.”
“Yeah?” I looked at her again.
“Yes. There are times when the alignment offers better views, and sometimes you get lucky and everything is clear. I was here when it happened a few times,” she told me proudly.
“And what about today? Is the sky clear enough?”
She looked up and gave a little shrug. “We might get lucky.”
When the door to the dome opened, and the next group was guided forward, she straightened her posture a little. Her fingers curled lightly around the strap of her purse, and she didn’t take her eyes off the telescope while the volunteer gave instructions about not touching the equipment.
I stayed behind her, close enough to notice the way her breathing changed when the eyepiece came into view. She looked almost hesitant, as if she wanted to make the moment last. She had done this many times before, yet the joy she felt was the same as when she had done it the first time.
The volunteer gestured for the next person to lean forward, and when it became her turn, she paused again. Her head turned, and she smiled up at me. “You want to go first?”
I shook my head and placed my hand on her hip, tipping my chin toward the telescope. “You go.”
“Okay.” Excitement flashed in her eyes, and she turned back to step forward.
She leaned forward and pressed her eye to the eyepiece, and she stayed there longer than most people did.
But the volunteer wasn’t rushing her. I stayed focused on her and the small shifts in her body language.
She whispered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear.
And when she finally stepped back, she had a small, soft smile on her face.
Seeing her like that did something to me I couldn’t easily define. Or, I could define but wouldn’t admit to it.
“Your turn,” she told me, stepping aside so I could look through the telescope.
It was a view I hadn’t looked at before, at least not this closely, and as fascinating as it was, I couldn’t really do much with it.
I remembered a few things Lana told me, about their distances and sizes, and the complexity of the whole universe, but the facts didn’t land the way they did when she said them.
Without her voice explaining them, every fact fell flat.
When I pulled back again, Lana was watching me with this patient curiosity.
She wanted to know what I saw, but didn’t want to pressure me into saying anything.
“Very nice,” was all I said, sounding like the most disinterested person in this observatory.
Despite my clipped answer, Lana was pleased. “We came on a good night for sure.”
We thanked the volunteer and walked back down the stairs, and once we were outside, I asked her, “Do you want to stay for a minute?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I like the view from here.”
We walked past a few groups taking pictures and found an open space near the railing.
Lana rested both hands on it, and I leaned forward to place my forearms on it.
The city was bright below us, and while I never took my hometown for granted, I rarely appreciated how truly beautiful this place was.
And, still, with all that beauty below us, all I wanted to look at was Lana.
I shifted my weight and eyed her profile. There was something lingering on my mind. A question I needed her to answer truthfully, because after seeing her so carefree and happy, I didn’t want my lifestyle to ruin hers.
“Lana.”
She turned her head toward me, her expression curious. “Yeah?”
“When you said you were fine with being my fluffer, you meant that? You’re truly pulling through with it?”
Her brows lifted before they furrowed into a deep frown. She didn’t look offended or comfortable that I brought this up. Instead, she took a moment to think, which I appreciated more than any quick answer. “Yes,” she said finally. “I meant it.”
I searched her face, looking for a sign of doubt. “You’re not doing it to prove something to me, right?”
She quickly shook her head. “No. Definitely not,” she replied without hesitation. “I do it because I want to. I would never pretend to like something for someone else. Not even you. No offense.”
I chuckled, her adorable way of scrunching her nose sparking amusement in me. I raised my hands defensively. “None taken.”
“And, actually,” she continued, her face relaxing again.
“I’m proud of myself for giving you that blowjob in front of everyone.
I thought I’d feel degraded and used, but I didn’t.
And, not to toot my own horn, but I give pretty good head.
If I had a penis, and I’d give myself a blowjob like that, I’d come too.
Not that I would want to give myself a blowjob because that’s… weird. And—”
“Lana.” I chuckled and reached out with one hand to touch her shoulder. “Calm down.”
She bit her bottom lip and laughed nervously. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I get what you’re saying. I just wanted to be sure that you’re truly okay with it.”
“I promise I am. Really.”
“Good.”
The way she said it left no room for doubt, and I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. She re-adjusted her hands on the railing and leaned forward a bit, looking down at the city again.
After a moment, she spoke again, her voice soft but sure. “You can ask me things like that whenever you want. I don’t mind.”
I looked at her, and she held my gaze this time. She didn’t feel intimidated or embarrassed. She was just being honest. “All right. Same goes for you.”
She lifted a brow, an amused glimpse flashing in her eyes. “Are you sure?”
“What, you think you can’t ask me anything?”
She pursed her lips and shrugged. “You just always seemed so closed off. Like you’re untouchable.”
“I am untouchable,” I told her, stiffening just slightly. “But only with people who I don’t think deserve getting close.”
That got a different reaction from her. One I hadn’t expected. She nodded, her lips pressed together as she tapped the railing with her fingers. “I can stand behind that.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded and looked at me again. “Yeah. It may come off as arrogant or rude, but sometimes you just have to protect yourself. Not everyone is worth your while. Some have bad intentions, others are just using you.”
“You’re smart.” It was all I could say after her response. She knew there were people who took you for granted, used you, and didn’t care in the slightest about your feelings.
She smiled at me, taking a moment to think before saying, “We’re not so different after all.
” With that, she leaned in and rested her head against my shoulder.
It was a small and simple gesture. One I shouldn’t have read into too much.
But I couldn’t help it. A strong sense of protection came over me.
It felt like something that had been waiting under the surface and finally had an excuse to show itself.
She didn’t cling to me the way the other girls did. She didn’t try to make it dramatic or forced. She just rested there in that quiet sureness, but that small gesture felt bigger to me than expected.
***
Back home, I expected my mood to drop the way it usually did after a long day.
But it didn’t. Having Lana there changed that.
Her presence was calming, and it gave me something else to focus on instead of the usual things that filled my head.
Work became secondary, and every ounce of annoyance and stress I usually felt on filming days was nowhere to be found today.
Now that we stood in the entrance, I felt an urge to keep her close a little longer, even though I knew she had to be getting tired or just wouldn’t want to stay around me any longer.
We found a connection today and realized that we had more in common than we thought.
The idea of her disappearing upstairs to her room left a hollow feeling in my chest.
“You going to sleep?” I asked, watching her closely.