Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Imogene
The darkness in the bedroom felt thick, like it might suffocate me if I let it. The shadows on the walls seemed darker than usual, the edges as sharp as a knife. I clung to Gideon’s warmth as we lay in bed, listening to the soothing sounds of the ocean outside, trying to pretend I felt as safe as I once did in this place.
But even his embrace couldn’t chase away the unease that had settled over me. This house now felt like just another hiding spot. A false sense of security we’d foolishly held onto, only to have our past catch up to us once again.
I shouldn’t have had any trouble falling asleep. My body was physically exhausted after spending hours at my old townhouse, answering questions from the local police Gideon had called to report the break-in.
I’d gone over every detail with them until I thought my head might explode from the monotony of their questions.
Well, almost every detail.
I left out the fact that the man who had been in those photos was the same man he’d been replaced with.
Through it all, Gideon was a comforting presence beside me as investigators combed the house for prints and evidence, even though we both knew they wouldn’t find any. Not from someone as meticulous as Liam.
I lifted my gaze toward Gideon’s face, studying his features as he stared at the ceiling. The worry lines in his forehead indicated he was just as unsettled by tonight as I was. Regardless, he remained firm in his decision to let the authorities handle Liam.
It should have brought me comfort.
Instead, it made me miss the man who took out my attacker in the alley with the cold indifference of a trained killer. The man who fucked me senseless in the library of Liam’s house. The man who once made me think he would burn down the world for me.
Would I ever see that man again?
I trailed my hands over his torso, mapping out the intricate pathway of scars that snaked across his skin. Each one told a story, a testament to the strength he was forced to demonstrate in order to survive what I could only describe as hell on earth.
Each one proof that the man I knew as Samuel had been irrevocably changed by what he endured.
Just like I had.
As my hand reached the angry scar marring his side where he’d been shot, he scooped it up and brought it to his lips, touching a gentle kiss to my knuckles.
“Get some sleep, Imogene. You’ve had a long day.”
I pulled my hand from his, pressing it to his cheek and forcing his eyes to mine. “But I don’t want to sleep, Gideon.” I inched my lips toward his, touching my mouth to his, my tongue slipping inside.
He groaned, the sound reverberating through my body and reminding me of all the things this man made me feel. Not as Samuel, but as Gideon. The heights he was able to bring me to were unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
And right now, that was what I needed.
Not considerate, loving Samuel Tate.
But passionate, possessive Gideon Saint.
Deepening the exchange, I attempted to pull him closer, hooking a leg over his waist and slowly circling my hips.
“Imogene,” he moaned, his raspy voice full of need and frustration at the same time.
“I need to feel you,” I whispered breathlessly against his mouth, trailing my hand down his chest until it slipped beneath the waistband of his pajama bottoms. “It’s been too long.”
He caught my wrist before I could to wrap my hand around his hardening erection, his turmoil evident in his eyes, despite the fact that he was ready to do this hours ago.
The break-in changed that.
I feared it would change everything.
“I need this. We need this.”
With increasing determination, I moved my mouth against his again, trying to remind him of the passion and desire we once shared. Unlike before, he didn’t immediately part his lips for me, his restraint and reluctance palpable.
“Please, Samuel,” I murmured, using his real name for the first time in ages.
His grip on my hip hardened, his fingers digging into my skin. I could feel the heat of his body pressed against mine, but he still didn’t move. He didn’t retreat, either. He just held me in place, the tension between us growing with each passing second.
Finally, he exhaled a long breath and gently pushed me onto my back. When I felt his erection hit that spot I’d been dying to feel him for over a month now, I released a whimper.
“God, I love that sound.” He pulled back, meeting my eyes. “I always have. Love knowing the effect I have on you.”
“Only you,” I murmured, my skin prickling with heat as he ran his hand along the contours of my frame, his finger slipping under the waistband of my shorts.
His eyes flicked to mine, an unspoken question within.
But it wasn’t even a question.
I needed this connection. Needed to silence the turmoil that had been plaguing me since we came home from the hospital.
Hell, since I woke up and he swore Gideon Saint was dead.
I lifted my hips, swallowing down the subtle ache from the movement.
His eyes never left mine as he slowly dragged my shorts down my legs, tossing them to the side. When I lifted my tank top over my head, his pupils flamed, his gaze focusing on my breasts.
I loved that, despite all the times he’d seen me like this, I still affected him this way. Loved that all these years later, we were still as desperate to feel each other as we were in the beginning.
His mouth covered mine in a heated kiss, his tongue swiping against mine. But despite the depth of his need, it felt…lacking. Like he was purposefully holding back.
I ran my fingers along his spine, digging my nails into his grooved skin. He groaned into my mouth, but still kept his motions gentle.
As if scared I’d break if he pushed too hard.
“I need to taste you, Imogene. You have no idea how damn starved I’ve been for you.”
A wave of desire surged through me, igniting a fire that had been smoldering beneath the surface for weeks now. It was exactly what I needed. The passion. The hunger. The desperation.
Meeting his eyes, I smirked. “Then what are you waiting for? Taste me.” I leaned toward him, taking his earlobe between my teeth. “Make me come.”
Growling, he claimed my mouth in another kiss before slowly snaking down my body, exploring and worshiping every inch of me.
When he settled between my legs and his tongue slid over my clit, I released a satisfied moan, my body melting into the mattress as weeks worth of tension rolled off me.
He slipped a finger inside me, his tongue continuing to circle me. But even when he added another finger, it still wasn’t enough. It still felt like he was holding back.
“Harder,” I begged, grinding my hips against him with more urgency.
“Let me enjoy this,” he pressed a hand to my stomach, locking me in place. “Let me enjoy you.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to lose myself in the moment, in the sensual way he massaged my insides as his tongue traced slow circles around my clit.
But my mind drifted to that day in Liam’s library. How Gideon dropped to his knees and devoured me in a way that made me certain I’d never be satisfied with another man again. How he dug his teeth into me as he fucked me. He was so unrelenting. So passionate. So damn hungry.
I missed it.
Missed him .
Missed the rough, dominant man who took what he wanted and didn’t apologize for it.
The man who knew exactly what I needed without me having to ask.
The man who left bruises on my skin that told a story of his unrelenting need, marking me and claiming me as his.
The mere memory pushed me higher until I couldn’t resist anymore, my cries echoing in the room as I unraveled.
Not because of how he made me feel now.
But because of how he once did.
Unapologetically.
Fiercely.
Completely.
“God, I love watching you come.”
I opened my eyes and met his, my desire coating his lips. Clutching his cheeks, I dragged him back up my body, not wanting him to see the truth in my gaze.
“Then get inside of me and let’s see if you can make me come again.”
A wicked grin crossed his face as he playfully waggled his brows. “Is that a challenge?”
“And if it is?”
“You should already know…” He shifted his weight to his hands as he placed them on either side of my head, lowering his lips to mine. “I don’t like losing.”
“Then let’s see what you’ve got.”
He pressed another kiss to my lips, his tongue briefly swiping with mine before he pulled back to stand. After pushing down his pants, he returned to the bed, bringing his erection up to me.
I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of him after so long.
“Eyes on me.”
The dominance and power in his voice sent a shiver down my spine. It reminded me so much of Gideon. Samuel wasn’t a pushover and he definitely taught me things in the bedroom I didn’t think possible. But Gideon was different. I couldn’t quite explain it, considering I now knew they were the same person. But when I was with Gideon, he didn’t hold anything back. He fucked me like it might be the last time he ever would.
Probably because there was a strong possibility of that being the case.
Opening my eyes, I trained them on Gideon, bracing myself for him to thrust into me, especially with the heat in his stare. Instead, he slowly pushed inside. I figured he was just letting me get acclimated to him again after nearly two months without having sex.
But even after several slow pushes, he didn’t pick up his pace. He maintained his tender and steady rhythm. His lips found mine, his kiss just as gentle as the way he moved inside of me.
I let my fingers run over his back, my nails digging into his flesh as I tried to draw more from him. To find the darkness I’d fallen for.
But it wasn’t there.
As incredible as he felt, it wasn’t what I needed. Not right now.
I wanted to see the fierceness in his eyes. Wanted to feel his hunger consume me. Wanted a reminder of how he once made me feel more alive than anyone had in years.
Maybe ever.
“Harder.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him to increase his pace. “I don’t want it gentle. Not tonight.”
He lifted his gaze to mine, his turmoil obvious as he shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I parted my lips to remind him yet again that the accident wasn’t his fault, but before I could, he pressed his mouth to mine, swallowing my protest.
“Let me make love to you, Imogene. Because I am so damn in love with you.”
“I love you, too,” I sighed, succumbing to his affection as he moved delicately inside of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying revel in the sensation of Samuel making love to me again, like I once imagined. Instead, I found myself missing the darker edges, the fierce passion Gideon exhibited in everything he did.
“Oh, Imogene,” he exhaled, his rhythm increasing slightly until he stilled, jerking through his release, his lips slamming against mine.
I moaned into his mouth, savoring in the roughness of his tongue tangling with mine. But he gradually slowed his motions, the intensity of his kiss transitioning and becoming softer. Gentler. Sweeter.
Pulling back, he touched his forehead to mine, our breaths intermingling. “I love you.”
I forced a smile. “I love you, too.”
I did love him. He was my safe haven. My new beginning. My soul mate. We had a chance to be together without the shadows of his past clouding our lives.
But as he held me in his careful, measured way throughout the night, the emptiness only grew.
Weeks ago, I worried the day might come when Gideon’s darkness would overtake the few pieces of Samuel that remained.
Now I couldn’t help but fear that, one day soon, the last remnants of Gideon Saint would be extinguished by Samuel’s light.