Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Imogene
The waves crashing against the shore outside the bungalow used to bring me peace. But today, as I sat curled up on the couch in the living room, I could barely hear them over the thoughts racing through my mind. It probably didn’t help that Gideon told me to stay inside, all things considered.
I understood his concern, but it was suffocating at the same time.
Like I was stuck in a prison.
A beautiful prison, but a prison all the same.
The only saving grace was that Melanie had driven down from LA after I told her about the photos. As comforting as her presence was, I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling consuming me. And not simply because of the break-in.
Ever since Agent Myers stopped by yesterday, Gideon had seemed even more agitated, locking himself in the gym for hours as he went to town on the punching bag. He could have just been frustrated with the fact that Liam was still out there somewhere.
I sensed it was more than that, though.
“And you’re absolutely certain it was Liam?” Melanie asked in a hushed voice from beside me on the couch, curling her legs beneath her.
“The frames were left exactly where I had them before I took them down.”
“Why did you take them down?”
I took a sip of my coffee. “Because of the memories.”
“The memories?” she echoed.
I nodded. “The night I learned about Samuel’s fingerprints, I felt like I was losing it.”
“I remember. I walked in on you surrounded by all those newspaper and magazine clippings.”
“I realized I’d never move on when I was clinging to a ghost, so I boxed up everything that reminded me of Samuel Tate…including the framed photos. I never replaced them, Mel. So whoever did this knew exactly where they were. Besides you and Gideon, Liam’s the only other person who’s been in my place.”
“He could have paid someone to do it.”
“I’m not sure that’s any better,” I replied honestly. “At least if it’s Liam, I know who to look out for. If he’s paying someone to do this?” I pulled my hoodie closer to my body, goosebumps prickling my skin at the mere thought. “I just want him found so we can move on with our lives.”
“And Sam…Gideon…whoever he is…” She waved her hand around, her uncertainty about what to call him obvious. “He has no desire to…you know?” She gave me a pointed look.
“He says he wants to leave Gideon Saint in the past. Technically, he still needs to use that name, but that’s the only thing remaining of who he’s been this past year.”
She brought her mug up to her lips and took a sip of coffee, her brows furrowed in contemplation.
“How do you feel about that?”
I stared into the distance, trying to make sense of the warring thoughts in my head. “I should be thrilled he’s ready to move on from all that.”
“But are you?”
“I’ll always love Samuel Tate.”
“But you miss Gideon Saint,” she finished. “Don’t you?”
I exhaled a long breath, grateful to have her here to give me someone to talk to about everything. This had been consuming my thoughts more and more, especially after I tried to get him to fuck me the other night and he insisted on going slow.
“He treats me like I’m glass. Like he’s afraid of breaking me.”
“He’s probably still carrying a bunch of guilt over the accident. You should have seen him at the hospital, Ginny. I’d never seen him so distraught before.”
“I know. It’s just… He’s different now. Too…gentle.”
She tilted her head. “Like, during sex?”
I nodded. “It’s still good, but it’s not the same. He used to be so hungry. Now there’s less passion and fire. I guess that’s what I’m struggling with. I miss the intense need Gideon always had for me.”
“Have you talked to him about this? In my experience, keeping an open line of communication in the bedroom is important.”
I bit my lower lip. “Not yet. The other night was the first time we had sex since the accident. And even then, it was only because I begged him to finally sleep with me.”
“I see.”
“He said all the right things. Had all the right moves. But it still felt…lacking. When he was still Gideon Saint, there was this undeniable spark between us. This thrilling sense of mystery and danger that excited me. He exuded power and control. Now, it’s like he’s deliberately suppressing all of that. Like he’s trying to be everything Gideon wasn’t. Even Samuel had more passion than this man he’s become.”
Melanie reached over, placing a comforting hand on mine. “You need to give it time, Ginny. You two have been through more than most people can even fathom. Now you’re figuring out who you are. Figuring out what your relationship will look like, given everything that’s happened. You can’t expect things to be all unicorns and rainbows right away. You both have a lot to work through. But if there’s anyone who can do it, it’s the two of you.” She paused, her eyes surveying me before remarking, “Maybe you need to get away from here.”
“What? Like a vacation?”
“You’ve been cleared to travel, right?”
I nodded.
“Then maybe this is what you need. What you both need. Time away to remember what it’s like to be together without the weight of the past hovering over you. Just the two of you, without distractions. You both deserve that.”
The thought sent a glimmer of possibility through me. I couldn’t deny that I liked the idea of getting away. Going somewhere without ghosts, without the memories and threats that seemed to linger no matter how much I wanted to escape them.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Haven’t you realized by now?” she replied with a smirk.
“What’s that?”
“I’m always right.”