Chapter Sixteen
He won’t tell me that he loves me, but the way he looks at me…he has to, doesn’t he? -Lyla
Lyla
“How goes the “work friend with benefits” thingy with the hot doc?” Reina asks in a loud voice.
I glance around at the table next to us at the pizza parlor. “Shhh, could you be any louder? I don’t think the cook heard you in the back.”
“Well, I can say it louder,” she says with a mischievous grin, “HOW IS SLEEPING WITH…” The rest comes out muffled as Sophie slaps a hand over Reina’s mouth.
I apologize to the couple next to us and then turn to Reina. “You are a mess,” I hiss, “I can’t believe Brian puts up with it.”
She giggles at my pouty glare. “Oh, he loves me just as I am, and so do you two,” she says around and picks up a gooey slice of pizza.
My shoulders relax and I chuckle a little too because that’s true. Then I let out a long sigh. “It’s going okay with Asher. I mean, the sex is great, but…” I trail off and look down at my plate. Even the sight of my favorite pizza doesn’t cheer me up.
“But what?” Sophie prompts softly. “Is there something wrong?”
I pick at a piece of pepperoni. “Asher is against marriage and love, thinks it isn’t real,” I mumble.
The other side of the table is silent for so long that I look up. Reina and Sophie both look concerned.
Reina’s hand covers mine. “Hey, just because he thinks that doesn’t mean it’s true, you know? Obviously, he had a rough time at home or something and thinks that couples can’t be happy. But look at me and Brian, Sophie and Liam. Couples do make it work.”
“But how do I convince him of that?” I burst out. “He thinks love isn’t possible, but I know it is because I love him so much it hurts.” I hold my hand to my heart. “I physically ache with it.”
“Shit,” Reina says and then stays quiet.
“He’s still scared, Lyla. But that isn’t your issue. It’s his. And as much as it hurts, he’s going to have to figure that out himself.” Sophie crosses her arms and sits back. “I had to let Liam go for him to find his way back and figure his stuff out. It hurt like crazy, but I had to do it for me. At some point, you’ll have to make a choice. And he will too.”
“But how will I know when it’s time? When it’s time to say I can’t hold the words back and I can’t help but let him know I love him? I just want to be with him, but at the same time it’s killing me knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way. The sex…” I twirl a curl of my hair around my finger and give them a half smile, “the sex is amazing. I think sometimes I could just let that continue and be happy enough with it. I could go months, years, just living off that and the way he looks at me right after. Like I’m his whole world…”
“But then you know you can’t. That you need the words.” Sophie leans forward. “It’s okay to need the words, Lyla. It’s not a sin to want the person who you love to say it back to you. And it’s okay to want a future with them too.”
Tears start to slip down my cheeks. “But what if he never says it? What if he never wants it?”
Arms surround me as both girls hug me from behind. “Then you’ll leave the doofus behind and find someone else who’s even better,” Reina whispers in my ear, “and we’ll kick hot doc’s ass for you.”
I laugh through my tears and touch Reina’s hand. “Thank you.”
Sophie squeezes my shoulder. “We’ll annihilate him just for you, Lyla. Because you are the best, Lyla, and you deserve the best. Don’t ever forget that. No man should ever make you feel like less than. You are more than any man, Lyla Ann Kennedy. You are a caring nurse, a caring person, and you need to always remember that.”
I squeeze her back. “Thank you, guys. I needed to hear that. Thank you for being my cheerleaders.”
“That’s what good girlfriends do,” Sophie says, and they finally release me.
“You were there for me during my toughest time, Lyla. Of course, I’ll be there for you.” For once, Reina is serious and thoughtful.
I wipe away tears. “You guys are the best. And I’ll think about it. I’ll try my best to figure out what I need.” I clap my hands together and try to put on a cheerful smile. “Now, let’s forget all about guys and eat pizza and drink beer. And then y’all can watch while I beat your asses at pool.”