Chapter 11 #2
“True,” Gray said, chuckling. “But the fact that you only think that establishes that it isn’t your normal. You work too hard.”
“I know. I’m going to make some changes because I want to slow down. But that takes time to figure out and I have too much going on to devote that time to it so round and round we go.”
“Got it. I’ll head over and we can grab dinner by your house. How about Terra Plata? Unless you’re in the mood for something else.”
“I’m making us dinner.”
That was even more unexpected than Jack finishing work at a decent hour. “You’re cooking?” Gray asked, wanting to make sure he hadn’t misunderstood.
“Yes. Beef stroganoff. Is that okay?”
“You’re making beef stroganoff? From scratch?” Jack was great at a lot of things, but cooking wasn’t one of them. Not that he was bad at it, it just hadn’t ever interested him, so it wasn’t something he did.
“I am. The sauce is simmering right now and I’m going to start on the beef.”
Sensing some tension in Jack’s tone, Gray decided not to question him further over the phone. “That sounds great. Do you want me to pick up anything on the way home?”
“I think I have everything.”
“Call me back if you change your mind. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Gray.”
He spent the drive to Jack’s house trying to figure out his unusual behavior but got nowhere.
“Hopefully it’ll make more sense in person,” he said to himself as he got out of the car.
He picked up his laptop bag from the passenger seat and walked into the house.
Valentine’s Day was a week away and they’d decided that Jack would take care of dinner plans and Gray would pick something for them to do afterward.
He had gotten them tickets to a candlelight orchestra.
The symphony wasn't usually their thing, but this performance would be rock and metal music performed by classical musicians and the venue would be lit by candles. Jack was sure to enjoy it.
Those thoughts occupied Gray’s mind and distracted him from the homemade dinner mystery. When he walked into the kitchen and saw Jack standing at the counter, spoon in hand, he was quickly reminded. “It smells great in here,” he said.
“Terrific.” Jack sounded frustrated. “We can scent our way to full stomachs.”
“What’s going on?” He walked over to Jack, snaked both arms around his trim waist, rested his chin on his shoulder, and looked over it at the bowl on the counter. “That looks”—he got a better view at the dish Jack was stirring and reconsidered his next words—“good?”
“Was that a question?” Jack turned his head and looked at him over his shoulder.
“No, it was…” Gray cleared his throat. “The texture threw me for a second, but I’m sure it’ll taste great.”
“It won’t.” Jack dropped the spoon and turned around in Gray’s arm. “I tasted it. The sauce is too salty, the texture’s gross, and I overcooked the beef.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Gray rubbed his hands up and down Jack’s arms. “It’s not a big deal. We’ll clean up and go out to dinner. No harm no foul.”
“I know. I just wanted to…” His voice wavered and he looked at the ground. “Never mind.”
“Tell me.” When Jack didn’t respond, he put a couple of fingers under his chin and raised it until their eyes met. “Why’d you decide to cook?”
“I thought I could do it. I watched a couple of YouTube videos and we took those baking classes. I don’t know what went wrong.”
“In those classes, we had an hour and a half to make a single item with premeasured ingredients, step-by-step instructions, and professional supervision. I’m not convinced either of us could replicate those recipes at home right now and none of them were as complicated as beef stroganoff.”
“You’re right.” Jack shook his head and rubbed his palms over his eyes, looking completely defeated. “It was a silly idea.”
Jack’s despondent reaction wasn’t proportional to the harmless situation.
“What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“I wanted to cook for you.” Jack licked his lips. “They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“They?” He grasped Jack’s ass and tugged him closer. “Who’s they?”
“I don’t know.” Jack set his hands on Gray’s chest. “Everyone?”
“Ah.” Gray chuckled. “Well, apparently everyone is wrong because that’s not the organ with a fast track to my heart.”
Jack jerked his gaze away. “We both know that’s not true.”
“What do you mean?” He still didn’t have a handle on what was going on in Jack’s head and he needed to catch up so he could fix the problem.
“Gray,” he sighed. “You’ve had sex with lots of guys and you’re the first person to say they didn’t mean anything to you, before or after. They couldn’t get to your heart that way and neither will I.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He kissed Jack’s forehead.
“The organ I was referencing was my brain. You’re the smartest, most interesting person I’ve ever met.
Nobody else measures up. But if I’d been talking about my dick, you’d be in a league of your own too.
” He leaned forward and kissed Jack’s neck.
“I’ll tell you again, you are phenomenal in bed.
” He cradled Jack’s cheeks and looked into his eyes.
“But that’s all moot because you made your way into my heart a very long time ago and planted your flag.
There is no competition, and if there was, you’d win it every time. ”
“You are so kind.” Jack pressed his lips to Gray’s. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, but I would like to understand what’s on your mind.” He curled his hand around Jack’s nape and rubbed his thumb back and forth over his skin. “Did something happen today?”
“Not today. You know how I had lunch with Kevin on Wednesday?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
“He told me he made a move on you.”
He hadn’t seen that coming. “Kevin?” He frowned. “He spends most of the time we’re together insulting me. If that’s his idea of flirting, we’ve uncovered the reason he’s still single.”
Jack laughed. “He didn’t do it recently. Or at least he didn’t say he did it recently. He said he came onto you around the time we met.”
“He did?” Gray tried to recall those days, but they were a distant blur.
“You don’t remember?”
“That was almost twenty years ago. How am I going to remember a random come-on from back then?”
“You’re right. With as often as guys hit on you, I’m sure it’s impossible to keep track. By the way, even though he harasses you, Kevin also wants to fuck you.”
“He told you that?”
“Pretty much.”
“Jesus.” Gray shook his head. “Do you want me to talk to him?”
“At this moment, I don’t even want you in the same room with him, but that’s impossible because he’s our friend so I’ll have to deal.” He dropped his forehead onto Gray’s shoulder and sighed. “I have a lifetime subscription’s worth of issues. Are you sure you want to be with me?”
“I’m absolutely sure.” There was literally nothing he had ever wanted more than a lifetime with Jack. “I love you.” He rubbed Jack’s back. “This can’t all be about Kevin. Talk to me.”
It took a little time, but eventually, Jack straightened and looked Gray in the face. “I love you too and I hate that everyone wants you and flirts with you and looks at you.”
One of the many things he admired about Jack was his honesty and willingness to share his vulnerabilities. Very few people were as brave.
“I don’t flirt back. I’m only interested in you.”
“I know.” Jack nodded. “You’ve said that and I trust you. It’s silly but I’m still jealous.”
Knowing that his boyfriend didn’t react to other men should have been enough to curb Jack’s anxiety, and it probably would have been enough for someone whose self-esteem when it came to relationships hadn’t been so damaged by the last man who had claimed to love him.
But Jack needed more reassurances than other people and that was fine.
Gray was devoted to giving him everything he needed.
“It’s not silly.” He smiled gently. “But we need to come up with some sort of system because I need to know if you’re salty jealous or sad jealous. Because your possessive side gets me going, but you being hurt kills every part of me, including my libido.”
“I’m not hurt. I’m worried.”
“What are you worried about?”
“That I'm not who you could want when all those other people want you.”
“What people?”
“Let’s see. There’s Kevin, the waiter from brunch last weekend, the young guy at the gym, probably everyone else at your gym because as Thom pointed out that one night, you’re naked there.
Oh, and we can’t forget about Jeffrey, who like the men at your gym has seen you naked and is now apparently part of our friend group, which means he’s not going anywhere.
And that’s just off the top of my head. There's always someone trying to catch your eye or flirting with you. You know what I'm talking about.”
“I honestly don't, Jack,” Gray said sincerely. “Because when you’re around, I'm way too busy looking at you to notice anyone else.”
Jack was truly the most amazing person Gray had ever met. He was beautiful and smart and thoughtful and funny. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t see his own appeal. Well, not some reason. One reason. A reason with a name. Jaime fucking Snow.
He ran his knuckles down Jack’s arm and twined their fingers together. “I don’t want to be with any other people. I never have and I never will.” He raised their joined hands and kissed the back of Jack’s. “I only want you.”