23. Malcolm #2
Oh, now she wants to teach me something? Great. Perfect timing, Isla. I wonder if anyone else’s mentor is as chronically checked out of mentoring as mine is.
“It’s fine,” I mumble. “I think I might need to work someplace quieter. Is there an office or a conference room I can use?” My ADHD and the constant activity in the communal workspace don’t go well together.
Add in Ryan and covert bathroom sex, and I’m screwed in the worst way when it comes to learning anything.
She looks utterly exasperated with me. “Whatever.” She slams her laptop closed and stands. “Well, come on.”
Damn. Did she not come or something? There’s a pretense of politeness and deference I try to use when I speak with her, but I’m frustrated with how this internship is going for me in general. “I can work alone,” I say, just shy of snapping at her, though she didn’t give me the same courtesy.
“Can you, though? No offense, Malcolm, but?—”
I stand, easily a foot taller than she is, and look down her. “Let me stop you right there. I don’t know who just ruined your day in the unisex, but it wasn’t me, so why don’t you stay here, I’ll find a quiet place to work, and I’ll message you any questions that might come up.”
She gapes, her pale cheeks flushing scarlet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I shrug. “Me neither. But it’s obvious you’ve got other things on your mind. I’ll touch base with you later.”
I leave her at the common table in search of an empty office. When I don’t find one, I wind up in the lounge. I take a seat in a booth, pull out my phone to ask Google any questions I have, and lock in.
About twenty minutes later, Bailey slides in across from me with a coffee and her laptop. She and I work quietly until I ask her a question about the report I’m trying to write .
She answers it with no judgement. Quick, clear, and concise. A few concepts snap cleanly into place, and I fly through the rest of the report. Is it perfect? I doubt it. Is it good enough?
Bailey gives it a nod after a quick skim. “You got it,” she says.
“Thanks.”
“What do you think Ryan and Miguel are up to?” she asks.
“Guess we’re about to find out,” I say after a glance at the time on my phone.
She and I walk together to Big Bites, which is two buildings down from Marks & Baker. Ryan and Miguel are already seated at a table, side by side, waiting for us to join them. On the way, I told Bailey what I overheard in the unisex and my suspicion it was my mentor on the receiving end.
“She’s too sexy for her own good,” Bailey said to me.
In return, I asked, “Do you think she’s got some kind of issue?”
“Liking sex isn’t an issue, but when it interferes with your work, it might be time to find a therapist.”
Since I already have a therapist, I recognize the need to bring up the situation I have with Ryan to Andrea. I’m not exactly focused in the workplace either. And holy fuck, I hate seeing him sitting next to another man in a booth with their heads ducked together, speaking in low voices.
Bailey scoots into the corner, and I wind up across from Ryan. He sits back and puts a hand on Miguel's back. The hairs on my neck stand up as Miguel gives us a timid smile.
I narrow my eyes, physically unable to return it.
“What’s up?” Bailey asks Miguel directly.
“I’m wondering if there’s room for me on your team.”
Oh for fuck’s sake. I slouch in the booth and glare at Ryan, who spares me a quick glance and continues to explain. “He majored in communications before he got his MBA.”
“I’ve also got a YouTube channel,” Miguel adds .
“Oh yeah? About what?” Bailey asks while I remain silent.
“I used to do movie and TV show reviews. Like breakdowns and analysis. I quit when I got into grad school, but I have a lot of equipment and a dedicated office space at my apartment.”
“And experience with editing—all the stuff we don’t know much about,” Ryan adds.
I finally speak up. “Why do you want to leave your team?”
Miguel and Ryan share a look I hate from the core of my being. It’s a knowing look. A look that implies that they understand each other on some level. Like they’re deciding whether to reveal something intimate. I feel both violent and violently ill.
“There’s been a lot of personal drama,” Miguel says.
“Like what?” I ask.
“You don’t have to say,” Ryan says, all protective of him.
“No,” Miguel says, glancing at me. “I get it. It’s mostly Piper and Nathan. Piper’s a bitch, you all know that.”
Bailey leans in, elbows on the table in a very tell me more pose. “And Nathan?”
“She likes him. Like she wants him.”
“Has she had him?”
Miguel nods. “But Nathan’s not exactly picky about who he’s with, you know?”
Bailey grins and shakes her head, eating this shit up. “No. What do you mean?”
“I mean he likes to get laid. A lot. And Piper likes to play games, so…”
“He just goes around talking about it?” I ask.
“Look,” Ryan cuts in. “We don’t need all the details. The point is, things aren’t working out for Miguel with their team, he’s still got forty-five dollars and a setup we can use to move our team to the next level.”
“No offense, Miguel,” Bailey says, sitting back, “But Piper’s already got a sabotage agenda she’s not being shy about. That makes this a little hard to trust.”
“We can trust him,” Ryan says without equivocation.
“How do you know?” I ask.
He gives me a harsh glare. “I just do. This is low risk, high reward. What’s the worst case scenario?
He finds out what we’re doing and reports back?
They already know what we’re doing. Piper’s made that extremely clear.
It doesn’t mean they can compete. We’ve already built the foundation we need to be successful, and if Miguel can help, which he’s offering to, then we can get started on the podcast this weekend. ”
“I hate this.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, and when Miguel looks genuinely stricken, I almost apologize, but I clamp my mouth shut.
It’s not like he seems untrustworthy in terms of the challenge. What I don’t trust him with is Ryan. Ryan who’s mine, but only temporarily. Ryan who I deeply betrayed and hurt and who is generally an asshole to people but not Miguel. Ryan who says he doesn’t trust me but does trust him .
Is he attracted to him, too?
“Can I have a word with you outside?” Ryan says to me. It’s not really a question.
“Want me to order for you?” Bailey asks.
“We already ordered,” Ryan says, and I wince.
“I’m not hungry,” I say.
Ryan shakes his head, grabs me by the arm, and drags me out of the deli. “What the hell is your problem?” he asks as soon as we’re out the door.
“What’s going on with you two?” I ask.
He blinks in surprise. “What do you think is going on?”
“Don’t fucking play with me. I’m barely hanging on here, just tell me.”
“Barely hanging on?” He looks baffled .
“Fine,” I say. “You want me to ask, I’ll ask. Is there something going on with you and Miguel?”
“Jesus Christ, Mal.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Stop being an asshole and tell me.”
He leads me out of the flow of sidewalk traffic to the other side of a mailbox. He doesn’t touch me, but he stands close. “Last week, I found him crying in the men’s room. He and Nathan have been hooking up, and I guess Piper found out and started talking a lot of shit.”
Whoa. “Him and Nathan ?” I know Nathan. Kind of. Never in a million years?—
“I get the impression it was just fucking around, nothing serious, but Piper took it personally.”
“He was crying, though? Sounds like he took it personally.”
“Look,” Ryan says, his voice lower. Softer. “When you’re being bullied, it’s not unheard of to have a breakdown in a men’s room.”
My jaw tightens. “Are you speaking from experience?”
He won’t look at me. “This isn’t about me and you.”
Why doesn’t he get that everything is about me and him? “I made you cry?”
He shrugs it off. “I was a kid.”
My heart feels like it’s crumbling. “I don’t know what to say.”
“We can deal with that later,” Ryan says. “You’re okay with this, right?” He gestures toward the deli, meaning Miguel being on our team.
Whether he meant to or not, he cut me down to size, so I can’t say no. Ryan’s right. It’s worth the risk in terms of the challenge, but this whole business of Ryan making friends—ones that aren’t me? Do they hug, too?
“Sure,” I say quietly.
“Good. We’ll meet up tonight? ”
“Your place?”
“No—I mean all of us. At Miguel’s place to check out the set up.”
“Oh. Yeah, all right.”
“We’ll play it by ear after that,” he says, which I guess is all I’m gonna get.
I follow him back into Big Bites with my heart in my stomach and my hope hanging on by a thread.