Chapter 12 #2
He’s loved me and stayed by my side since the assault. Maybe I overreacted or lashed out too soon because Jensen has me wound tight. I’m taking it out on Cole, which is totally not fair to him. Shit.
Cole takes a moment to respond so I lock my phone and stare straight ahead, hell-bent on truly ignoring Jensen from here on out.
The waitress arrives and sets the tequila shots down on the table. I ignore them as well.
Thankfully, for once, Jensen keeps his mouth shut, and he leans back in his chair quietly.
I check my phone quickly, in case a vibration didn’t come through with the message. But there’s nothing.
Every second that ticks by feels like forever without a response from Cole. He’s giving me the cold shoulder, and I understand why, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Maybe I should just call him real quick. We can sort it out and be on the same page again.
“I’ll be right back,” I murmur to Jensen before standing and strolling out of the private section without overthinking it.
But I slam to a halt as I approach the front door, finding my brother tongue deep in the blonde puck bunny’s mouth. “You have got to be kidding me, Luca.”
Luca’s eyes fly open, and he steps back nervously, his voice drawing every word out. “Hey, Lain.”
The blonde waves her fingers at me like she’s winning a war, clearly not realizing that I’m his sister.
“A word,” I state, striding past both of them and stepping outside, excited to feel the cold air on my skin.
Luca giggles as he follows me out. “Lain, don’t be mad.”
“At what? The fact that you begged me to come out tonight to end up ditching me for a quick date? Or that you’re making out with her when she was throwing herself on Jensen not five minutes ago?”
He holds his hands up in defense. “Look, I’ve never said I had good taste in women, okay? I’m a single guy, on the road. It’s not my fault if I meet someone every now and then for a little fun.”
“That’s fine. You can do whatever you want, Luca.
But I’m going to go home.” His face falls, and this time, it’s me lifting my hands in defense.
“It’s seriously not a big deal. You guys play us again in a few weeks; we can do something then.
I want you to have fun, enjoy your night. Just do me one favor.”
I know he won’t protest because we saw one another not three weeks ago when I was still in Vegas. I’ll survive a little longer. Besides, I don’t know how good of company I’d be if I stayed, knowing that Cole’s mad at me.
“Name it,” he insists.
“Tell Jensen to go fuck himself.” I smirk as a smile breaks across his face.
He pulls me in for a big hug and kisses the top of my head. “Anything for you. I love you, Lainey Bug.”
“I love you too,” I say into his chest before he turns away and rushes back inside to his new date.
She’s probably not that bad. I’m just being judgmental because she was all over Jensen. But he’s none of my business for the rest of the night. I’m going home, where I should have been all along.
But first, I want to call Cole and clear the air. I should tell him the truth that I was also out with Jensen; the guilt is eating me alive.
I call him, and the phone rings six times before going to voicemail. It does the same on the second call. But I refuse to give up, so I try again.
RING.
RING.
RING.
RING.
God, he’s not going to answer again.
RING.
The line opens, but he doesn’t say anything for a moment, so I take the lead.
“Look, babe, I know you’re mad that I went out. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you when you guys come to town. I love you, okay? I don’t want to fight.”
“Who is this?” a woman’s voice asks, and my body freezes solid, the world around me coming to a full stop.
The gears in my mind spin, working overtime to come up with an explanation. He probably just lost his phone or left it somewhere.
“Hi. This is Lainey. I’m looking for Cole, my boyfriend. Did you find his phone?” I ask, anxiously awaiting her response.
I have to be right about him misplacing it because the alternative … I don’t think I’d be able to handle the alternative.
“Yeah, I found it.” Relief washes over me, and I brush off the angry tone of her words until she continues, “On his nightstand. Wait. He told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. That you guys broke up when you moved.”
Time stands still, and it takes all of my strength not to lose my grip on my phone. This can’t be happening. I must’ve heard her wrong.
“What?” I’m numb, in disbelief of what she said.
It must be a prank. It must be some horrible, twisted joke that he’s playing to get back at me. He roped her in on it.
Cole’s voice screams in my ear as he yells at the girl, “Did you answer my fucking phone, Courtney? What the hell?”
She snaps back at him, “You have a girlfriend, you piece of shit?! The only reason I finally gave in to your endless messages was because you said you were single.” The audio muffles for a moment, like wind blowing over a speaker. “Never call me again.”
“Trust me, I won’t!” he shouts at her as tears roll down my face, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
A door slams shut, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to grab the phone, waiting for him to tell me that I imagined this, that I imagined every warning that everyone gave me, for him to tell me that I didn’t waste years of my life with a man who didn’t respect or truly care about me.
“Lainey, I can explain.” Cole’s voice is pained.
I have a thousand things I want to say, even more questions that I want to ask, but … my lips stay sealed. I freeze again, like I have in the most important moments of my life, and I’m so fucking tired of it.
“Lainey, I love you,” he cries, and I’m surprised that I feel no sympathy for his tears, only numbness.
I’m quivering, my hand struggling to hold on to my phone from the shock coursing through me. But as visions of the last six years flash in my mind, that shock turns to blood-curdling rage.
The bell behind me on the bar door sounds, and a warm arm wraps around my shoulders. Vanilla invades my nose and I turn to find long pastel-pink hair.
Morgan.
I don’t know her that well. There may be a darkness in her that I recognize from my own trauma, but at the end of the day, I barely know her at all. Yet, somehow, having her arm around me gives me strength, enough to do something I never imagined having to do.
My voice is as shaky as the rest of my body as I declare once and for all, “We’re done, Cole. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t ever talk to me again. Got it?”
He scoffs. “You don’t mean that, Lainey! You just need time to think—”
The world suddenly speeds back up, everything moving faster than natural. It’s like my mind is rushing to the present from the past I’ve been stuck in, and the skies in my brain unclouded for the first time in years.
He always does this, always makes me feel crazy for however I react to his bullshit, and I’m done with it. I’m not putting up with it any longer.
Suddenly, everything is clear. I’ve been an idiot this whole goddamn time, and everyone around me was trying to get me to see it, but I just wouldn’t listen.
Well, I am now.
I’m not going to let Cole talk his way out of this.
I told myself that all of those weird moments with him were coincidences.
The late nights, the quiet phone calls, the emotional distance—I let him explain his way out of every one of them.
But he hasn’t been the loyal boyfriend he convinced me he was—no, he’s probably been cheating on me this whole time, and I was just in denial.
This feels like a moment, like one that changes your entire life, no matter if you’re ready for it or not. The air feels colder, the odor’s stronger. It’s like my body and mind are going through a change in the blink of an eye.
Jensen’s face appears in my mind, and I’m angry all over again for so many reasons.
He knew and wouldn’t tell me exactly what was going on. This is what he was talking about when I confronted him about hurting Cole. He’s been making a fool of me this whole time because he was butt hurt that I pushed him away.
Luca knew too. Luca’s warned me about Cole since the beginning. I chalked up his annoyance to rumors. I have bones to pick with them, but I think the biggest one will be picked with myself because I’ve been blind for so long because I was scared.
I’m still scared, terrified every second of the day, but I refuse to let Cole walk all over me just so that I don’t have to be alone.
“Lainey?” Cole sounds annoyed, like my silence means I’m actually contemplating forgiving him, but like I’m taking too long. “I’ll make it up to you. It’ll never happen again.”
“Actually, do whatever and whoever the fuck you want, Cole.” I cry out, my anger delivering every word.
“God, I wasted all this goddamn time on you. I gave you so much, and for what? For you to turn out to be the piece of shit everyone told me you were? Well, congratulations. You lived up to your reputation and I’ll make sure everyone knows it. ”
A beat of silence passes, and when he speaks again, it’s like I’m meeting the real Cole for the first time.
“You know what, Lainey? You’re a frigid bitch who cries every time she’s fucked.
It was hard enough, getting through it with you.
At least now I don’t have to keep the ruse up and deal with your sobs after the fact.
Besides, I was staying with you for the good press.
My agent liked the deals I was getting since we’ve been together. The media loves a family man.”
The broken pieces of my heart shatter all over again, turning into dust in my chest. Morgan rubs up and down my arms. She has no idea what she walked into. She has no clue and owes me nothing, but she stands here in support anyway.
I laugh as a thought crosses my mind, something so humorous because the genius Cole himself must’ve forgotten that confiding in your “PR girlfriend” is a mistake.
“You’re laughing? What’s so fucking funny?” he snaps.
This will end this entire conversation and keep him the hell away from me.
“You used me for PR, Cole, really? Well then, maybe you shouldn’t have told me all your dirty little secrets.
The ones that’ll get you suspended for eternity or even kicked off your team.
Hmm? You dumb cunt. I guess you forgot about that when you were calling me a frigid bitch. Go fuck yourself, Cole.”
Before I give him another moment of my time, I end the call and jam my phone as deep in my purse as it’ll go.
My chest is heaving up and down as my anger tries to consume me. But I’m not going to let it or Cole win.
“You said Cole, like Cole Wilder?” Morgan asks timidly, clearly knowing more than I realized about this situation that she walked into.
I nod, staring straight ahead at the cars passing by. “The one and only.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. “Cam told me about him, that they were going to rough him up during the next game for treating you so poorly.”
“He knew he was cheating?”
This time, I meet her eyes as she straightens up, flashing me a smile that says, I think you were the only one who didn’t.
Got it.
A playful smile breaks across her lips, and a maniacal glare flashes in her eyes. “Do you know what you need?”
“A nap for eternity?”
“No. To forget about that speck of dust on your shoe. Trust me, from personal experience, you need a friend, and I’m going to be just that. We’re going to have some fun tonight. There is a bar full of hot guys who would kill for a chance with you.”
My heart tightens. I wish I could be that girl who could have a one-night stand and feel comfortable with anyone that quickly, but unfortunately, there’s only one person in there who I could trust so fast, but that would be a mistake. We’re just friends, and that’s how it should stay.
But I do owe him an apology for laying into him so hard about Cole. It turns out, he really was just trying to look out for me this entire time.
“Come on, Lainey. We’re doing a couple shots.” Morgan grabs my hand and tugs me back inside, and for some reason, I don’t protest.
Who cares? I can let loose for one night, and worst case, if the alcohol makes me more tense and paranoid, then I’ll know to avoid it next time.
But at least then I’ll have learned on my own and not blindly trusted Cole, who has made far too many of my decisions over the last few years. I make my own now; whether they end up disastrously or not, that’s my right.
Morgan drags me straight to the bar and waves a free bartender over. “Hi! Can we get two pineapple upside-down cake shots, please?”
“You got it!” she shouts over the music. “That’ll be ten dollars.”
Morgan responds before I get a chance to pay. “Can you throw it on Costello’s tab? Thank you!”
“You got it!” She pours the shots out and slides the glasses across the bar top. “Here you go!”
Morgan grabs one of the shot glasses, and without skipping a beat, she asks, “Can we maybe just get two more right away?”
The bartender smiles and nods as nerves begin thrumming through me that I might be getting in over my head.
“Morgan!” I laugh, grabbing the other glass as she smiles at me and does a little wiggle dance. “Let me pay for one round at least.”
“You can get the next one!” She winks at me and grins. “These, however, are my treat—well, Cam’s technically, but he’d agree that you deserve a few after that phone call.”
A knife cuts through my heart at the mention of what just happened. I know it was only minutes ago, but my mind is already trying to block it out. I think these shots will help that along, and if not, oh fucking well. I’ve been through worse.
“Changed your mind on the water, huh?” Jensen’s smooth voice fills my ear, his warm breath sending goose bumps dancing down my shoulders.
Ignoring him for just a second, I lift the glass, signaling Morgan, who tips her shot glass back with me and downs it. My throat burns and warms, but it disappears after a second, the taste of pineapple juice remaining.
The bartender slides the next shots over to us.
“Lain?” Jensen murmurs into my ear, his voice deep and concerned.
Holding my pointer finger up, I silence him and sigh. “Hold on.”
Morgan laughs as she grabs one of the new glasses, and I grab the other. We quickly take the second shot.
Morgan pulls me in for a hug and murmurs in my ear, “Cam mentioned that you and Jensen have some kind of past. Honestly though, anyone with eyes can see that. I’ll give you guys a few minutes. I’m going to head back to the table, unless you want me to stay?”
Honestly? I have no clue.
I feel like everything in the last few minutes has been the climax of my time in New York—or rather of the last six years—the pivotal moment everything has been leading up to, and now I don’t know what my next step is.
The one thing I do know is that I owe Jensen an apology, so I’ll start there. Maybe another shot would help. Or two.