Chapter 19 #2
My brows pinch together, and a pulse of anger thrums through me that she could even say that about herself.
“Did you murder someone? They probably deserved it. Did you steal something? Oh well. There’s literally nothing you could say that would make me feel differently about you, Lainey.
I’ve been yours since I was fifteen years old. Nothing is going to change that.”
I’m closer to her, our lips mere inches away from each other as waves of passion roll off of me.
Tears continue to stream down her cheeks as war wages in her eyes, and I just need her to realize she’s not in this battle alone. I’m right here.
“Lainey, I lov—”
She covers my lips with her fingers, cutting me off as her breathing quickens unhealthily.
“Stop. You don’t mean that.”
I scoff, planting my hand on the door beside her head. “You have no idea what you mean to me. Trust me, I mean it, and I’ve felt it for years.”
A sob breaks free from her, and her face twists as she looks away from me. “Don’t say that, Jensen. If you knew the truth about me, about what happened to me, you wouldn’t feel the same way. Cole proved that.”
“I’m not Cole. What do I have to do to convince you that I’m not going anywhere?” I beg her to tell me. “You and I were always meant to be, right? That’s what you said at the house. Did you mean it?”
She bites down on her bottom lip and nods.
“Then why are you so adamant on fighting it? Give us a chance. Give me a chance, a real one. We owe it to each other. We deserve a happy ending too.”
She swallows hard. “It’s not that simple.”
Frustration overtakes me for a second as I feel like I’m arguing with a brick wall.
“Yeah, it is. It is that simple because I choose you regardless of anything else in the world. I choose you, no matter what life throws our way.” My voice rises, but I quickly lower it as I state with absolute certainty, “Always.”
Her eyes flick back and forth between mine, and she stands up taller, her lip quivering. “Even if I-I’m pregnant?”
For a brief second, I wonder if I heard her right or if I imagined her saying those two words. There were a million possibilities I considered her saying, none of which were that.
“Pregnant?” I whisper back, needing her to confirm it one more time so I know that I didn’t make it up.
She nods slowly. “It’s Cole’s.”
I’m still bewildered at the bomb she just dropped, but the second I see her shoulders turn inward as she starts to shut down, I snap back into reality and lower my forehead against hers.
“The fuck it is. That baby is mine just as much as you are.”
Her lips part, and she sucks in a breath. Cupping my face, she pushes me back enough to hold my gaze. She stares at me with a glint of fear in her eyes, and it slices across my chest. It’s like she’s waiting for me to snap.
“You’re not angry? Or disappointed?” Her voice quivers.
Brushing her hair back from her face with both my hands, I bite down on my smile, my skin humming with excitement.
“Are you kidding? I could never be angry or disappointed with you, especially because of this.” I brush my hand over her stomach.
“Do you know how many times over the years I’ve fantasized about having a life and a family with you?
If anything, this just makes me want you more. ”
She cocks her head to the side in disbelief. “I’m serious.”
I huff. “So am I, Lain.” I brush her bottom lip with my thumb. “The amount of times I’ve imagined filling you up, over and over, to get you pregnant … you’d be amazed.”
Her cheeks flush, and her pupils dilate as she looks up at me, a hunger growing in her stare. “C-Cole doesn’t know.”
“I figured as much.” I pause. “But don’t worry about him right now. Tonight’s about us. We’ll deal with him later.”
Second by second, her body relaxes against the door, her shoulders dropping and breathing slowing.
“Jensen?” She whispers my name.
“Yeah?” I murmur, stroking her cheek with the back of my fingers, brushing away the wetness.
She licks her lips and nibbles on her bottom one. “Kiss me.”
“Fuck yes,” I murmur as I claim her lips with mine fervently, hungrily, like a starved animal eating for the first time in weeks.
Her hands fist my shirt, tugging me closer. Our kiss consumes us as we melt into one another, desperation in every breath. All pain in my body fades away as her tongue parts my lips and plunges into my mouth.
I grunt, fisting the back of her hair and deepening the kiss, unable to get close enough as I roll my body against hers.
She whimpers into my mouth, and my dick throbs from how pretty she sounds.
My hand slides down her neck, and I wrap it around her collarbone, kissing her intensely.
“Jensen,” she gasps with fear in her voice, pulling away from me, and I freeze, horrified that I’ve done something wrong.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, searching her panicked face for any answers. “I went too fast.”
“No.” She catches her breath. “I loved it. Trust me. I just, umm …”
I rack my brain for what changed, and I glance down to her neck, where I applied pressure right before she stopped. Oh God, I’m an idiot. I was right on top of her scar, and while I don’t know what caused it, I know now that it’s something triggering for her.
Her eyes well back up with tears, gutting me completely. “I’m sorry.”
Wiping her tears away, I place gentle kisses on her cheeks, forehead, and nose. “Don’t say that. Don’t apologize.”
She looks up at me with a raw brokenness inside. “I want to tell you what happened. I do. It’s just that every time I open my mouth, nothing comes out.”
“Lainey,” I exhale, my eyes and throat burning, “tell me when you’re ready. There’s no rush for that or anything else. I’ve waited this long; I’ll wait an eternity more.”
A soft whimper escapes her, and I pull her into my chest, engulfing her in my arms as she wraps herself around me, squeezing me and fisting the back of my shirt in her hands. This is enough for me—being near her—and anything else that happens is a bonus.
She’s finally mine, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it stays that way for the rest of our lives.