Chapter 25
JENSEN
Burnsy skates over, spraying my face with snow like an asshole.
“I’ll kill you,” I say deadpan, wiping my face off.
He skates in a few circles. “You have to catch me first!”
Matty checks Burnsy for me, slamming into him like a brick wall. “Be nice.”
Kos, Costy, and Larinski skate over to the bench, falling out of conversation as they approach, directing their attention at me.
“We miss you out there.” Costy slaps his stick against the wall.
“Especially me,” Larinski says with a smirk.
My heart pains, my body itching to get back on the ice. “I’ll be back soon, boys.”
“We know. Better than ever,” Kos encourages.
A hand gently pats my back.
“How’re you feeling today?” Coach Carrington asks.
“Not bad. Just waiting for surgery. Thought I’d come see how you guys are surviving without me. What’s the prognosis? Are we screwed now?” I grab my chest, feigning worry.
He chuckles deeply. “We miss you on defense—that’s for sure—but we’ll be okay. You just focus on getting better. Your spot will be there for you.”
“It’d better,” I say snarkily.
The guys step off the ice, bumping fists with me.
“We gotta head to do weights. Do you wanna come?” Kos asks me as a few of the guys head down the tunnel.
Nerves claw at my insides. “I was actually hoping to talk to Coach quickly, but I’ll catch up with you.”
He salutes me and nods at Coach Carrington before following the other guys, leaving us alone.
“Should we step into my office? I have time,” he offers, and I nod, not wanting to risk anyone else overhearing me.
He leads the way through the arena to his office, silence between us until the door is closed behind us and we’re sealed quietly inside.
“What’s up?” he asks, sitting down at his desk while I sit in one of the chairs opposite him.
“I just want some advice, and you’re the only one I think I can trust with the information without running your mouth to your partner,” I ramble, fidgeting with my hands.
“Whatever you say in here stays in here.”
Well, might as well just come out with it. “Lainey’s pregnant.”
His eyes widen slightly from shock but quickly settle, lifting with his smile. “Congratulations.”
I can’t help but look at his family photo on his desk—of him, his wife, and their baby.
“Got any advice? While I’m stoked about it, it’s a little sudden, obviously. I just want to make sure that I’m there for her and the baby in the best ways.”
This feels alien and far too vulnerable of a conversation to be having with my coach, but he’s always been like a friend to us in the times we’ve needed one. I would reach out to my parents, but honestly, they don’t deserve to know yet, not after how they’ve treated me.
I’ve realized that more lately than ever before. Imagining raising a baby with Lainey, I can’t fathom ever pushing my child away because of an accident. It wouldn’t be fair to them, just like it wasn’t fair to me.
He leans forward, his hands intertwined atop his desk.
“Be there. For the appointments. For the little things. Surprise her with little gifts, flowers, massages, anything you can think of that would make her life easier while she grows a baby inside of her. It’s a miraculous thing, and it only brought my wife and me closer on a level I hadn’t known existed. ”
I mentally burn his words into my memory, but I must be doing something right because I’m going to an appointment with Lainey this afternoon.
“Thank you,” I murmur. “We actually have the first appointment today.”
“Good. That’s so exciting, Jensen. I’m happy for you, man.” His voice is genuine and surprisingly warm compared to the usual stern tone we hear at practice. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
“I will.” I rise to my feet and stretch my hand out to his, shaking it. “Thank you.”
It dawns on me as I crutch out of the room and head out to meet Lainey at our car. I just wanted to tell someone in my life, someone whose opinion I truly valued, and he was the only one I could think of.
I’ll tell the guys soon enough, but I know that the moment I tell them, they will tell their partners, and we haven’t even dealt with Cole yet, so I didn’t want to risk that snowballing into a bigger issue.
But we will, and when we do, I know these guys are going to freak out in the best ways and be the best uncles.
Lainey waves at me with a bashful smile as I approach the car.
“Hi, baby.” I slide into the seat and tuck my crutches in the backseat. “How’re you feeling?”
“Good. Nervous. Excited.” Her lips are gently pressed together, and her inner eyebrows are tipped up.
Reaching over, I take her hand in mine. “Everything will be perfect.”
She nods, exhaling her worries away. “You’re right.”
Tell me why I was the nervous, sweating one when they did the ultrasound. Lainey’s only eight weeks along, so we knew that the baby would be super tiny, but I still feel overwhelmed with emotion as I look down at the small photograph in my hands on the way home from the appointment.
They did blood work, confirmed the pregnancy, went through a thousand family history questions—some answers we weren’t sure of on Cole’s end. But I’ll find those answers out myself so we’re aware of any potential health concerns.
After a quick exam, they did the ultrasound, and I fought back tears the entire fucking time, holding Lainey’s hand. It’s weird that I feel so proud and connected to the baby, as if it really is mine, but maybe that’s because in my mind, it is.
Lainey teared up when the small fetus came into view on the machine.
It was such a special moment, and I’m so happy that I was there for every second.
I’m not going to miss a single appointment.
I don’t care if I have physical therapy or upper-body training; I’ll schedule around it to be by Lainey’s side because it’s exactly where I’m meant to be.
“I wish they offered larger print sizes,” I murmur, wishing I could get an eight-foot one printed for our living room.
Lainey giggles as she pulls into the parking garage of my building. “I’m sure we can get bigger ones.”
“Alsoooo”—I drag the O out—“Coach Carrington helped me with HR and reporting our relationship.”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes widen. “I haven’t told Caitlin.”
“It’s okay. We got ahead of it, and as long as we’re professional at the arena and during work, then it’s totally fine,” I assure her.
“I thought it was frowned upon for staff to see one another?” she murmurs softly, probably still concerned that this is going to blow up in our faces.
I chuckle. “I think they stopped worrying about that after the recent history this team has with doing that.” I take her hand in mine. “Trust me, it’s okay.”
She takes a deep breath. “Okay. I guess that means we’re official now.” She smirks.
“Oh, that’s what makes us official.”
She giggles, and my heart soars, and I feel giddy, like a kid on Christmas. I know that my hormones aren’t the ones changing, but I feel so all over the place with emotional swings.
Lainey and I head upstairs and into our place while my knee is aching, begging to be iced and propped up. The sun is setting, casting a warm glow over the city, clearly visible from the giant windows.
Crutching over to the oversize chair, I spin it so it faces the glass and drop down into it, scooting all the way so my shoulders are against the back. “Sit with me?”
Lainey dance-walks over to me, bubbling with joy since we left the appointment. She crawls toward me, positioning herself perfectly between my legs, nestling her back into my chest.
I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. “I lo—”
Her phone rings loudly, cutting off the three words nearly slipping past my tongue. What is with my body’s incessant need to express my love for her?
She digs it out of her pocket, and I can’t help but to see who’s calling … Cole.
“Can I?” I ask, holding my hand out.
She nods happily. “Be my guest.”
Anger rolls through me as I take the phone and answer. “Cole.”
A haughty laugh sounds on his end. “Donnelley. Why am I not surprised you’re still following her around like a sad, lost puppy?”
“Shut the fuck up. We need to talk.”
I sit up taller, and Lainey stiffens in my lap, her head whipping back to look at me.
It’s okay, I mouth to her. I got this.
“What could we possibly need to discuss?” He scoffs.
“That Lainey’s pregnant and you’re going to sign over your parental rights to me in court because I’m going to adopt the baby when it’s born.”
Fear strikes Lainey’s eyes, but she has no need to worry. He’s not going to fight us on this once I reveal the proof I gathered on his extracurricular activities, ones that’ll ruin his career.
“Are you serious?” he asks, his tone unreadable.
“Yes.”
A laugh tears through him. “I don’t want anything to do with that slut’s baby. Besides, it’s probably not even mine.”
My jaw tics, and my fist clenches at my side. “Watch your mouth, Wilder.”
“Maybe I should keep my rights. I know damn well it would piss you off for eternity. Ol’ stepdad Donnelley.” Cole’s voice is cruel.
I mimic his tone when I say, “I didn’t want to resort to blackmail, but I have no problem doing it for my family.”
He’s silent, probably wondering how much I know.
“I know more than you can possibly imagine. Photos and videos of you placing bets on your own games in Vegas. I especially like your outfit choice of an oversize hoodie and fedora. It really blends in well.” I pause, giving him a second to process what I just said.
“How much do you think you’ve bet on the games you threw?
A hundred thousand? Three?” I click my tongue.
“No … I think it’s more than that, isn’t it, Cole? ”
He sighs, and I can practically see his eyes closing and nostrils flaring. His voice is low and worried. “Look. I’ll sign whatever you want, show up whenever you need, but that can never get out. You need to shred everything.”