Chapter 15
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Islip my key into the lock, pushing my body weight against the heavy wooden door and unceremoniously stumbling into my apartment, Jax not far behind me.
My apartment is dark and I walk to the closest lamp, flicking the switch to turn it on, the glow immediately brightening the open space.
“Two for two,” he says, and I turn just in time to see a roguish smile on his lips.
“What?”
“Two for two—getting you back to your apartment after you’ve been drinking.”
I huff a laugh, the alcohol making me feel light and carefree. “What a knight in shining armor you are, Mr. Turner.”
“Always for you,” he says, a hint of seriousness in his tone.
He gazes around my apartment, his eyes stopping on a pile of paintings stacked under a window, and the floorboards groan under his steps as he moves towards them, picking up the one on top.
He looks from the painting to me. “You had specks of paint in your hair the first time we met. You were so colorful, shining so brightly that you caught everyone’s attention.”
He lifts up the next piece in the pile, darker than the first, with blacks and grays painted with bold lines.
“This isn’t the same style as the others.”
I move to stand beside him, all too aware of how close his body is beside mine, and look at the painting in his hands.
“It’s not my typical style,” I confirm. “I don’t really know what I was aiming for with this one, but it just felt right in the moment.”
“Funny how that happens,” he replies, and I look at him, only to notice he’s looking at me and not the painting in his hands.
My heart beats quickly at the intensity of his stare and I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or his presence that’s making heat gather inside of me.
“I have another one similar to this, but it’s upstairs.”
I walk towards the stairs, grabbing onto the wooden handle before I notice Jax following behind me from a respectful distance. I turn around and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Just making sure you get to your room safely. I wouldn’t want you enter the bedroom like you did the front door and risk falling on your face,” he says, innocently enough.
“Like I said, a knight in shining armor.” Friendly sarcasm drips from my words.
I climb up the stairs slowly, trying to keep my nerves in check as I realize I’m heading into my bedroom with Jax, the two of us alone in my apartment.
I pause just inside my bedroom door, turning on the light, unsure of what to do next as Jax stands beside me, his arm brushing mine.
“It’s there,” I say, looking at him as I gesture to the painting sitting on my dresser. Not for the first time tonight I think of how easily I could be consumed by the sea of green staring back at me.
“It’s beautiful,” he says, without taking his eyes off me.
I walk towards my bed before he notices my blush, willing myself to stay composed, my body a mix of excitement and caution that leaves me unsure of what to say or do next, my heart pounding in my chest.
I sit on the edge of my bed and kick off my shoes as I look at him, the desire in his eyes clear from across the room, but his body makes no move towards me.
I lay back on my bed, feeling pleasantly content as I let my legs dangle over the edge, the drinks from earlier keeping the feelings that threaten to consume me at bay. I let out a sigh, feeling lighter than I have in months after confiding in Jax about what I am going through, at least partially.
“My jeans are uncomfortable,” I say the words before I can catch myself, blatantly playing with the fire that threatens to consume me.
Movement catches my attention as Jax walks over to the bed, and my breath catches as he gets on his knees in front of me.
For a moment, I swear my heart stops.
Jesus Christ, he’s a sight to behold.
The desire in his eyes burns brightly, like flames dancing in a breeze. I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view of him kneeling in front of me, heat gathering in my core at the sight. His hands reach for the button on my jeans, and a jolt of electricity courses through me as his fingers brush against my stomach and my legs as he slowly pulls my jeans off me.
His breathing turns heavy, and it’s enough to tell me that he feels that same spark that I did. My jeans lay in a pile on the floor, and he rests his hands on my knees. I watch him look me over slowly, starting at my ankles and working his way up as if he is devouring a meal, and it takes every ounce of self-control to stop from squirming underneath his gaze.
He freezes as his gaze reaches my thighs, and I follow his stare to the dark bruises that speckle my skin, no longer covered by my jeans.
“Who did this to you?” He growls, the lust in his eyes replaced with undiluted rage.
“It’s nothing, honestly,” I respond quickly before quietly adding, “Nothing out of the ordinary anyway.” A lump forms in my throat; the embarrassment of Jax seeing the bruises—my new normal—hard to swallow.
“Who hurt you?” He snarls. “And trust me when I say this, love, I will fucking kill them slowly for laying a hand on you.”
I laugh as I fall back onto the bed, unable to look at him as I struggle to keep the flood of emotions at bay, my serenity quickly replaced by a sinking feeling. My heart starts to pound in my chest as I feel a familiar void return, the depth of it threatening to drown me. I blink quickly fighting tears as they rise to the surface.
“Tell me what happened,” he says gently.
“A wolf in sheep’s clothing,” I muse, explaining the only way I know how.
“Come again, love?”
“That’s the thing about wolves in sheep’s clothing, Jax. You think they’re safe to sleep next to, but they’re not. They’re just waiting for you to get comfortable before they attack.”
Pure rage flickers across his face. “Give me a name, Evi.”
“Okay, Mr. Morally Gray,” I say sarcastically, feeling bold from the alcohol.
“It’s not as if you haven’t hurt people before. Where does this fall on your code of conduct?” I question, gesturing to my legs.
“I would never do this, love, not without consent anyway, and I hope you know that.” He snarls back, clearly not in the mood to joke about this.
“Really? Because based on how you were looking at me earlier, I find it hard to believe you wouldn’t do this.” I gesture to myself, desperately trying to steer the conversation away from my hurt, not wanting to face what I’m trying so hard to ignore.
I prop myself back up on my elbows and spread my legs slightly, the insinuation clear. I wait to see if he’ll take the bait I’ve laid before him, helping distract me from everything that just transpired.
Jax looks at me for a second, the anger briefly replaced by a hint of sorrow, and he stands up, placing both his hands on my knees and staring down at me. A fiery warmth spreads deep within me as I look at the godly figure in front of me, and my breathing hitches as he climbs slowly onto the bed, lowering himself down on top of me. My legs spread open more as the weight of him settles, and I feel his hot breath on my body as his lips kiss my collarbone and neck. I can’t help but respond to him, my hips lifting as I try to close any of the remaining space between us. Before I get any further his lips pause by my ear.
And even though his voice is soft, I hear the primal growl beneath his words.
“When I fuck you, love, you will be on your knees begging for me, and not comparing me to all the awful men you’ve had before.” He pauses, his eyes searching mine. “Just because everyone else has taken from you, doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same.”
My breath hitches as his mouth returns to my ear, his teeth biting at me gently.
“When I fuck you, I will own you—body, mind, and soul.” He looks at me again, a devilish smile crossing his face as he slowly trails a hand from my knee to my inner thigh until it rests just above my center, and I unashamedly lift myself into his palm as he continues.
“When I have you, I’ll feel your mouth wrapping around all of me, before my mouth finds you and your moans fill this room.” His hand rubs across my underwear and I can feel the desire pooling within me.
“But tonight?” He continues, “Tonight, you need to get some rest.” He smiles before pushing off me.
That’s it?!I think to myself.
“Get some sleep, love, we’ll continue this another time.” He winks at me as he turns towards my door.
I’m speechless as I watch him leave, his silhouette illuminated by the dim light of my room. My heart is racing, as are my thoughts, and my body is aching for more. I can feel the heat between my legs, longing to be touched, to be pleasured. I know I won’t be able to sleep, not with these thoughts lingering in my mind and electricity coursing through my body.
My mind is racing, and I can’t believe Jax was on top of me, can’t believe how his touch makes me feel, and how spending a single evening with him has made me want him—all of him—so badly.
It takes a minute for me to remember the finer details of our conversation earlier.
Jax was on top of me.I repeat to myself quietly. One of the biggest crime lords was just on top of me.
I pause, waiting for fear to consume me, waiting for panic to send me spiraling, but it never comes. All I feel is the need for him to be between my legs again.
I roll over, trying to get comfortable, but the sensation of his lips on my skin is still fresh and vivid in my mind. I close my eyes and try to fight the urge to touch myself, but it’s no use, I need release.
I slide my hand down my stomach and under my underwear, feeling the throb of my clit beneath my fingertips. I imagine his hands on me, his mouth on my breasts, his cock inside of me. My breathing quickens as I circle my core, teasing myself, bringing myself closer and closer to the edge.
The pressure builds to a point of no return, and I explode around my fingers as my orgasm finds me. I close my eyes as the last waves of pleasure pass over me, thinking of his whispers in my ear and his hands on my body as sleep finds me.