Chapter Thirty-Three
In which some wounds cut too deep to forgive.
Luna…
The instant Kai strides into the room and spots Collin, I know he was telling me the truth. Kai glares at him before turning to me.
“Luna…” he starts, “I’d intended to tell ya.”
“When? When did you intend to tell me I have a grandfather that I never knew existed?” There’s a web of hurt, grief, and burning fucking rage constricting my heart. I press the heel of my hand against my breastbone like that will make it sting less.
“I dinna know until after we’d been married,” he says, shooting Collin a look that should have set him on fire. “I wanted time with ya before it all came out. Shite was complicated enough.”
“You hid it from me,” I correct him. “You knew I didn’t have any family. You knew how much I wanted one, and you never told me.”
“I’m your family now!” Kai says, stepping closer and wincing as I step back. “The MacTavishes are your family. Everyone here loves ya.”
“Yet here I am,” Collin says dryly, “waiting for weeks to meet my granddaughter. I wanted to do this the right way, Luna.” He gives me a small smile, like he doesn’t do it that often and he’s giving it a shot because other humans seem to like it. “I held back until I realized that your husband was going to keep this from you for as long as possible. If he ever planned to tell you.” He glares at Kai, who glares back.
“Tell us, Collin, why did Luna’s mother and father leave California?” Kai asks, folding his arms. He stops trying to step closer to me, which makes me both glad and lonely.
Collin stands up. He’s much shorter than Kai, but even at his age, he’s strongly built, and it’s obvious he doesn’t intend to back down. “That is none of your concern. I will be happy to talk to my granddaughter about it when she’s ready.”
“Now is good,” I cut in.
He attempts to smile at me again. “Your grandmother passed away from cancer when Patricia was eighteen. She was our only daughter, and she took Caroline’s death very hard. She pulled away from the family. I understood it, a little, at least. My wife was the bond between us all. Caroline insisted on Sunday dinners with the kids. Oh, and you also have two uncles, my sons Kurt and Nathan.
“Your father Tom was a civilian, an accountant. When Patricia fell in love with him, she asked me to let her go. She didn’t want him in the life. Then, she got pregnant with you, and this time, she begged me. I…” He spreads his hands. “I said yes. I knew it would have made my Caroline happy.”
“You really never tried to see her again?” I ask.
“That was the deal. My brother Malcolm is the head of our family. He allowed it as long as the separation was permanent. I didn’t want to risk their new identities.”
“Isn’t he going to be displeased that Luna has turned up?” Kai’s speech is getting cold and formal, the way it does in dangerous situations. “How can you guarantee her safety when you reveal her existence to your brother?”
My grandfather- no, I can’t call him that. Not yet. Collin gives him the courtesy of taking the question seriously. “A great deal has changed since my daughter left twenty-six years ago. We’ve all lost children, my brothers and I. I’ve been given the gift of a second chance with Luna, and Malcolm understands that. Her safety is guaranteed. Something, MacTavish, that you haven’t managed to do.”
“That’s not true.” Why am I defending Kai? He’s held this back from me for weeks! “There’s always security around me.”
“What about that shootout on the M74 motorway?” Collin narrows his eyes at Kai. “Yes. Of course, I heard about it.”
Kai gives a low growl, vibrating in his chest. “I protected Luna. She never lost her wits, she stayed calm and helped me steer while I fired on the mercenaries. Raised in the life or not, she was brave. In fact, she was magnificent.” He smiles at me proudly, and I rub my chest again. It’s raw enough to feel like I’m bleeding inside.
“She’s not safe here with you.” Collin says sharply.
The energy between them turns ugly.
“There is no safer place for my wife than here,” Kai snarls. “She has the protection of the entire MacTavish Clan.”
“She’ll be far more secure in my care.”
“Absolutely not!” Kai shouts, his fists clenching.
“Both of you, stop this!” When they ignore me, I let out a shrill whistle and they step back, startled.“I appreciate your concern, but the choice is mine. I’ve had enough of other people deciding what to do with me.”
“Your place is here, little fox,” Kai says, and for a second, I want to throw away my hurt and distrust and step into his arms. It would be so easy.
“Luna, you have a family. One he didn’t tell you about, but I’m here. I want to know you better. I want to tell you what your mother was like growing up. And about your grandmother. You have cousins, aunts, and uncles. A place where you belong.” Collin cautiously puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’m asking you to give us a chance, too. Not because you were forced into it.” He gives Kai an angry glance. “But because you choose to.”
My husband is autocratic, arrogant as hell, and demanding. He thinks he knows best, always. He took my phone!
He gave you a brand new one with all your contacts updated and a top-of-the-line camera for your pictures.
I don’t want to listen to my devil’s advocate right now.
He’s risked his life repeatedly to save yours.
He never told me that I had a family of my own.
The hopeful little door left open in my heart clicks shut.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
Sloan and Catriona are sitting on my bed, pretending to help me pack. A cluster of MacTavishes showed up minutes after Kai did, every one of them with an opinion, none of them helpful.
No. I want to say, No, I do not want to leave. I’m scared that it’s possible I love Kai. I know I love this family. But this marriage had an expiration date even before he lied to me by omission . They both look so sad that I can’t say any of those things.
Better to leave now before it hurts so much that I’ll never recover.
“Yes,” I say. “I have to go.”
“You don’t!” Sloan says, eyes wide. “Look, I get it. Better than anyone-”
Catriona coughs in a genteel way. I’ve heard the stories about the uncles and aunties and how it all went down with the whole stolen bride thing.
“I get it better than anyone in this generation,” Sloan corrects. “No matter how your marriage started, I’m telling you there’s no one more competent and skilled than these MacTavish men. They keep their promises. Please, stay here. You can still get to know your grandfather and the Harris family. There is Zoom and Facetime. Email.”
“Carrier pigeon,” Catriona adds.
“But honestly,” Sloan continues, “do you really want to leave here without knowing anything about them?”
I clutch the sweater I’m holding. “Kai and your Uncle Cormac reached out first. Do you think they would have done that if the Harris Mafia would be a threat to me?”
“No,” Catriona says bluntly. “To be honest, this would be a good connection. The Harris Mafia is strong in the southern part of the States.”
Sometimes, I wish she wasn’t so honest. “Wow, an advantageous match. This is getting old-school mafia in a hurry.”
“I dinna mean it like that!” Catriona says, looking alarmed. “It’s just a helpful thing with the threat of the Aristocrats and their death juice.”
There’s a knock on the open door. I know it’s Kai before I hear his voice. This connection between us, the feeling of comfort from knowing he’s always in my orbit, is going to be so hard to sever.
“Can I speak to my wife? Alone?”
They’re out the door, the traitors, before he even finishes the sentence.
“Little fox.” He looks like he’s aged ten years on the way up the stairs. “Ya canna go with that man.”
“How are you going to stop me?” That sounds meaner than I’d planned.
“Ya want me to threaten ya?” Kai says, “Lock ya in our bedroom with bread and water until ya give in?”
The pain in his voice is clear, and I swallow hard. I will not cry. I will not cry…
“You didn’t tell me,” I say quietly. “All this time. There must have been a thousand different opportunities, but you didn’t. You wanted me dependent on you.”
“I wanted ya safe,” he interrupts. “When Uncle Cormac told me what they’d discovered about your- your possible grandfather, we were already married. I dinna tell ya because I wasn’t sure what kind of reception we’d get from Harris. Would he be concerned for your safety? Would he want to take ya out as a complication?”
“He told me he’d wanted to meet me right away and you insisted he wait for the ‘big wedding.’ Is that true?”
“I wanted time-”
“This isn’t about what you wanted!” Backing away, I smooth my hands down my sweater, trying to regain my self-control but it seems to be bleeding out, along with my heart. I know Kai doesn’t love me. But I thought he liked me enough to be honest. “I’m leaving with him. I’m as safe with one mafia family as with another, right?”
It’s taking everything in Kai to hold his temper, I can tell. The cords in his neck are straining from his tight jaw as he takes in a deep breath of air. “You’re my wife. Ya belong with me, little fox.”
“Don’t call me that!” Fuck, tears are welling in my eyes and I’m weakening. He has done everything he’d promised in those vows we took.
Except for telling me the truth.
“I’m leaving, Kai. Thank you for saving me on the island, and thank you…” My throat tightens, almost choking me. “For everything you’ve done. The cousins. Money for Hope House and the church. I just…” I look away. “I need to go.”
“I’ll come with ya.”
“You can’t. You know you can’t. This is where you have to be, protecting your people.”
He’s close now, close enough to touch me if he wanted to. That’s all it would take. Just an arm around my waist or a kiss.
“As you wish.”
With that Princess Bride perfect goodbye, my husband leaves the room without looking back.