CHAPTER 18
I can hardly believe my eyes as we pull up to Gavin’s home. When he mentioned he lived outside of town, I wasn’t expecting… this. The gravel crunches under my car tires as we make our way down the long driveway, and I find myself leaning forward in my seat to take it all in. The property seems to stretch endlessly in every direction, with mature trees dotting the landscape.
I ease my car to a stop, my mouth still hanging open at the sight before me. The barn dominium commands attention—sleek black exterior stretching two stories high, dark wood accents adding warmth against the modern design. A wrap-around porch hugs the entire structure, and I can already picture peaceful evenings spent watching the sunset.
My attention shifts as Gavin emerges from the front door, his tall frame filling the doorway before he steps onto the porch. A golden blur of excitement bounds out behind him, and they both make their way to the bottom of the steps. The dog’s tail wags with such enthusiasm that his whole body wiggles.
“Mommy, look! A puppy!” Sophie squeals from her car seat, pressing her face against the window.
“I see, baby. Let’s go say hi, but remember what Mr. Gavin taught you about meeting new animals.” I step out and make my way around to get Sophie from her seat.
“I ‘member! You gotta let them smell you first.” She nods seriously as I unbuckle her. The moment her feet touch the ground, she grabs my hand.
“That’s exactly right, Miss Sophie.” Gavin’s smile reaches his eyes as we approach. The golden retriever sits at his feet, though his tail still thumps against the ground. “Would you like to meet my friend here?”
Sophie peers up at me, seeking permission. I give her hand a gentle squeeze and nod. She takes careful steps forward, extending her small hand just like Gavin showed her at the clinic. The dog stretches his neck, sniffing her offered hand before giving it a gentle lick that makes Sophie giggle.
“What’s his name?” She asks, now running her fingers through the dog’s soft fur.
“This big guy here is Nugget.” He crouches down beside them both.
I raise an eyebrow. “Nugget? For this big fellow?”
Gavin chuckles, scratching behind Nugget’s ears. “He wasn’t always this big. When he was born, he was the smallest of his littermates, the runt. He could fit right in the palm of my hand, just a tiny little nugget. The name stuck, even though he definitely grew out of it.”
“He’s so soft!” Sophie declares, now using both hands to pet Nugget, who has rolled onto his back for belly rubs.
“Looks like you’ve made a new friend already.” I can’t help but smile at the scene. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Sophie this immediately comfortable. Both Gavin and Nugget seem to have a special way about them.
“Would you ladies like a tour?” He straightens up, gesturing toward the house. “Nugget can show Sophie the backyard where he keeps all his favorite toys.”
Her eyes light up. “Can we, Mommy? Please?”
I nod, though my stomach does a little flip as we follow Gavin up the steps. The porch boards are solid beneath my feet. Everything about this place speaks of careful attention to detail.
“Watch this,” Gavin says, opening the front door. “Nugget, go get your dragon.”
The golden retriever tears off into the house, returning moments later with a worn stuffed dragon, its green fabric faded from love and slobber.
“That’s his favorite toy,” he explains as Sophie claps in delight. “He’s had it since he was a puppy.”
We step inside, and I’m immediately struck by how the interior manages to be both modern and welcoming. The open concept first floor features polished concrete floors softened by thick area rugs. The kitchen to our right boasts black cabinets with warm wood countertops, while the living room to our left centers around a stone fireplace.
“This is beautiful,” I breathe, taking in the high ceilings with exposed wooden beams.
“Thank you. Designed it myself.” His voice carries a hint of pride. “Wanted something that could be both a home and a workspace. My office and exam room are down that hallway for when I need to check on emergency cases.”
Sophie tugs on my hand. “Mommy, look! Big windows!” She points to the wall of windows looking out over the back property. Beyond the covered portion of the porch, I can see a fenced area where Nugget must play, and beyond that, more trees and what looks like a small pond.
“Would you like to see the backyard, Sophie?” He asks. “Nugget has a whole toy box out there.”
“Can I?” She looks up at me with pleading eyes.
“Stay where we can see you through the windows, okay?”
Gavin leads us through glass doors onto the back porch. Nugget bounds down the steps, dragon still in mouth, with Sophie following carefully behind him. I watch as they reach the grass, where Nugget drops his toy and playfully bows, tail wagging in the air.
“I think those two just became best friends,” I say, leaning against the porch railing.
“He’s always been good with kids. I take him up to the clinic sometimes and he keeps clients occupied while their pet is in the back.” He moves to stand beside me, keeping a respectful distance. “Sophie seems to have a natural way with animals herself.”
I nod, watching as my daughter giggles, throwing a ball for Nugget. “She does. She’s always loved them, but she’s usually more reserved with new people and places.”
“Must be the country air,” he suggests with a smile. “Or maybe she just knows she’s safe here.”
His words hit something deep in my chest. Safe. That’s all I’ve wanted for her, for us both. Looking at Sophie now, her blonde hair catching the sunlight as she plays, her laughter floating up to where we stand.
“The property goes back about fifteen acres,” he continues, gesturing to the tree line. “That pond back there is spring-fed. Great for fishing, though I mainly just enjoy sitting out there in the evenings.”
“It’s peaceful out here,” I say, breathing in the fresh air. “Different from what I’m used to.”
“Good different?”
I turn to find him watching me, his expression open and genuine. “Yeah,” I smile. “Good different.”
A squeal of delight draws our attention back to Sophie, who’s now sitting cross-legged in the grass while Nugget shows her all his toys, bringing them one by one to lay at her feet.
“So, are you two ready to make some dinner?” Gavin asks, turning toward me with that easy smile of his.
“Sure, I can help,” I offer, already mentally cataloging what I know how to cook that might impress him. “What were you thinking of making?”
“Actually…” He gestures for us to follow him back inside. “I thought we could do something fun tonight.”
My jaw drops when we enter the kitchen. The large island is already set up with three stations, each with a perfectly round disc of pizza dough. Bowls of colorful toppings surround them. Diced bell peppers, mushrooms, fresh basil, and tomatoes. A pan sits ready on the stove with what looks like Italian sausage waiting to be cooked.
“DIY pizzas?” I can’t help the childlike excitement that creeps into my voice.
“Pizza!” Sophie claps her hands, already rushing toward the island.
I lift her onto one of the barstools, where Gavin has thoughtfully placed a cushion to boost her height.
“I hope this is okay,” he says, washing his hands at the sink. “I figured everyone likes pizza, and it’s more fun when you get to build your own.”
“It’s perfect,” I admit, joining him at the sink to wash my hands. “I haven’t made pizza from scratch since… well, I don’t think I’ve ever made my own pizza”
He turns on some music, something acoustic and light, and gets to work browning the sausage while explaining the pizza-making process. Sophie listens with rapt attention, her little fingers already reaching for the cheese.
“Remember to save some toppings for the actual pizza, Soph,” I laugh as she pops a piece of mozzarella into her mouth.
“But cheese is the best part!” she protests, sprinkling an excessive amount onto her dough.
I work on my own creation, adding a careful balance of vegetables and just a touch of the browned sausage Gavin offers.
“Mommy, look! I made a smiley face!” Sophie points proudly to her pizza, where olives and pepperoni form a lopsided smiley face.
“That looks amazing, baby.”
“Ready for the next step?” Gavin asks, picking up Sophie’s creation carefully. “Follow me.”
We trail behind him through the back doors, and he approaches what looks like a stone structure at the edge of the covered patio.
“You have a pizza oven?” I ask incredulously as he opens the front and I feel the wave of heat escape.
“Built it myself last summer,” he explains, sliding Sophie’s pizza onto a long wooden paddle. “Nothing beats wood-fired pizza.”
“This pizza is yummy!” Sophie declares, carefully blowing on her second slice.
“I have to agree,” I say, savoring the perfect blend of crispy crust and melted cheese. The fresh ingredients make all the difference.
Sophie takes another bite. “Mr. Gavin! Guess what?”
“What’s that, Sophie?” He gives her his full attention, setting his slice down.
“I’m gonna be five!” She holds up five fingers, pizza temporarily forgotten. “Next Saturday is my birthday party at Ms. Lucy’s house. Wanna come?”
My heart skips. We haven’t actually planned anything yet, but she’s obviously made an executive decision. I open my mouth to explain, but Gavin’s already leaning forward, matching her enthusiasm.
“Five is a very important birthday,” he says seriously. “Will there be cake?”
She nods. “Chocolate with sprinkles.’” She says matter of fact and then adds, “and balloons. Right, Mommy?”
“We’ll see what we can do, baby.” I try to keep my voice light, already mentally calculating our budget.
“Mommy’s birthday is almost here too,” Sophie says, her expression falling slightly. “But we don’t usually have…” She hesitates, and I see that shadow cross her face, the one that appears when she’s thinking about before. About Matt.
“I’ll be twenty-nine on June first,” I cut in quickly. “Last year in my twenties.”
“The big two-nine,” Gavin grins, and I’m grateful for how smoothly he follows my redirect. “Being in your thirties isn’t so bad, you know. I’ve been doing it for two years now, and I can’t complain.”
I feel the tension ease from my shoulders. “Okay, old man. Sharing your elderly wisdom?”
“Old man?” He clutches his chest in mock offense. “I’ll have you know thirty-two is the new twenty-five.”
The laughter feels good, almost natural. I can’t remember the last time dinner was this… normal. Sophie talks about her upcoming party plans while demolishing her second slice of pizza, and I find myself somewhat relaxing into the moment.
Until I feel it, the whisper of Gavin’s fingers against mine on the table. My first instinct kicks in, and I pull back, heart jumping. But then I catch myself. This is Gavin. Safe, kind Gavin. I force my hand back, letting our fingers brush. Such a small gesture, but it feels monumental.
The warmth of his skin against mine sends a current through my body, and suddenly I’m hyper-aware of everything, the way his eyes look when he smiles, how his presence fills the space without overwhelming it.
Guilt twists in my stomach. He doesn’t know why we’re really here. The words sit heavy on my tongue, begging to be spoken. He deserves to know, doesn’t he? But the thought of saying it out loud, of watching his expression change when he learns the truth…
“Mommy, can I have more pizza?” Sophie’s voice breaks through my spiral.
“One more slice, baby. Don’t want to get a tummy ache.”
I need to get out of my head. “So, are you going to the Spring Fling tomorrow?” I ask Gavin, grateful for the distraction.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” He takes a sip of his sweet tea. “The clinic’s running the kissing booth this year.”
My stomach drops. “A kissing booth?” The words come out sharper than I intend.
“What’s a kissing booth?” Sophie pipes up, her eyes shifting between us.
“Well, you see, Sophie, it’s a very special booth where people line up…” His eyes are twinkling.
I watch him, something hot and uncomfortable churning in my chest. Why should I care if he’s kissing random women at some festival? We’re not… anything. Just friends. Barely even that.
“And then,” he continues dramatically, “they get to meet the most amazing kissers in all of Texas.”
Sophie’s eyes go wide. “Eww, really?”
“Yup. Let’s see, we’re bringing Bonnie, the Boxer, and Duke, the mini–Australian Shepherd. They give the best kisses in town.”
“Dogs?” Sophie squeals as understanding dawns.
“Dogs?” I echo, feeling heat creep up my neck.
“One dollar gets you a kiss from one of our furry friends, five dollars for a professional photo with them.” He grins at me. “What did you think I meant?”
I busy myself with my napkin, mortified. “Nothing. I just… nothing.”
“I want doggy kisses!” Sophie bounces in her seat.
I chance a look at Gavin, who’s watching me with that infuriating half-smile.
“The booth opens at one,” he says.
I look down at my half-eaten slice of pizza.
“Will you both be at the Spring Fling then?” He asks, standing and stacking the dishes.
“Actually, yes. Mary Beth asked me to help with the flower shop’s booth.” I wipe Sophie’s face with a napkin. “We’re making flower crowns to hand out. Sophie’s gotten really good at them.”
“I make the prettiest ones!” She beams. “Ms. Mary Beth says I have natural talent.”
“Is that right?” Gavin’s eyes soften. “I’ll have to stop by and get one.”
Sophie’s attention gets pulled to the side. Nugget stands beside her chair, his favorite stuffed dragon dangling from his mouth.
“Can I play with Nugget?” Sophie’s eyes light up. “Please, Mommy?”
I glance at Gavin, who nods. “Go ahead, baby. I’ll help clean up, and then we need to head home.”
“Come on, Nugget!” She slides off her chair, and the dog follows her to the living room, tail wagging.
I gather the remaining dishes, falling into step beside Gavin as we head to the kitchen.
“You don’t have to help,” he says, filling the sink with soapy water.
“I want to.” I grab a dish towel. “It’s the least I can do since you prepped dinner.”
We settle into a rhythm. Him washing, me drying. Even through it all I still keep watch as Sophie sits cross-legged on the living room floor, giggling while Nugget shows her his tricks.
“She’s really something special,” Gavin says softly, following my gaze.
“She is.” Pride wells up in my chest. “Sometimes I look at her and can’t believe she’s mine. She’s so… pure. Untouched by all the…” I trail off, catching myself before I say too much.
“All the what?” His hands still in the soapy water.
I shake my head. “Nothing. Just… life, you know? The world can be hard sometimes.”
“Bailey.” His voice is gentle but firm. “You know you can talk to me, right? If you ever need to?”
The kindness in his eyes nearly breaks me. How easy it would be to let it all spill out. The fear, the running, the constant looking over my shoulder. But the words stick in my throat.
“I know,” I manage. “It’s just… complicated.”
He hands me another plate. “Life usually is. But you don’t have to figure it all out alone.”
“Don’t I?” The words slip out before I can stop them. “I’m her mother. It’s my job to protect her, to make the right choices.”
“And it looks like you’re doing an amazing job.” He turns to face me fully. “Anyone can see how much you love her, how hard you work to give her everything she needs. But having support doesn’t make you any less of a mother.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Sometimes accepting help feels like admitting weakness.”
“Or maybe it’s the strongest thing we can do.” His fingers brush mine as he passes the last dish. “Letting people in, letting them care about us, that takes real courage.”
I focus on drying the plate, trying to steady my breathing. “What if you’re wrong about the people you let in?”
“What if you’re right?” He counters. “What if letting someone in means you don’t have to carry everything alone anymore?”
Sophie’s giggles float in from the living room, and I look up to find her teaching Nugget to bow. The simple joy on her face makes my heart ache.
“She deserves a normal life,” I whisper. “Birthday parties and flower crowns and… and people who care about her.”
“So do you.” His words are so quiet I almost miss them.
I meet his gaze, and for a moment, everything else falls away. The warmth in his amber eyes draws me in, promising safety, understanding, maybe even…
“Mommy, look!” Sophie’s call breaks the spell. “Nugget can roll over!”
I step back, putting space between us. “We should probably get going. It’s getting late.”
Gavin nods, though something like disappointment flickers across his face. “Of course.”
Sophie says goodbye to Nugget with a big hug, and then we’re walking to the car. The night air is cool against my flushed cheeks.
At the car door, I help Sophie into her booster seat while he gives me space.
“Thanks for coming over,” he says when I turn back to him. “I really enjoy having you both here.”
“We enjoyed it too.” My voice comes out softer than intended.
Before I can overthink it, I step forward and wrap my arms around him. His body tenses in surprise before relaxing, strong arms enfolding me. He smells like cedar and something uniquely him, and for just a moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like to stay here, safe in this embrace.
But I can’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I pull back, offering a small smile. “Goodnight, Gavin.”
“Goodnight, Bailey.”
The drive home is quiet, Sophie dozing in her car seat while my mind races. Every time I think I’ve built my walls high enough, Gavin finds another crack to slip through. His kindness, his patience, the way he is with Sophie, it all chips away at my carefully constructed defenses.
But the fear remains, a constant companion whispering warnings in my ear. If I’m wrong about him, if I let him in and history repeats itself, what happens to me? Worse, what happens to Sophie?
I grip the steering wheel tighter, watching the dark road ahead. One wrong turn brought Matt into my life. One mistake led to years of pain, of walking on eggshells, of teaching my daughter to be quiet when Daddy was angry.
But Gavin isn’t Matt. Every interaction, every gentle word and careful touch proves that. And yet…
I glance in the rearview mirror at Sophie’s sleeping face, peaceful and trusting. She deserves everything good in this world. But am I strong enough to risk letting someone in, to trust my judgment again?
The questions follow me home, lingering long after I’ve tucked Sophie into bed. In the quiet of night, I remember the feeling of Gavin’s arms around me, the way I felt in that moment, and wonder if maybe the reward might be worth the risk.