Chapter 9 – Dallas
Dove,
I know it's been a while since I've responded to your letters. I'm guessing you're in your junior year now and no longer need a pen pal, but I felt a responsibility to acknowledge all of the letters you've sent consistently over the last nine months.
A few months ago, I sold the app I built. Things got really hectic for me as I finished fixing bugs, creating presentations, and making sales pitches to some very wealthy and powerful people in Los Angeles.
For someone who is confident to borderline cocky (I know, you told me you’d describe it as conceited), it was a lot of work and pressure but I'm glad it's done, and the app has been sold.
It was exhilarating to take something I've worked so hard at and watch it turn into this living, breathing product that's helping people save money and find financial freedom. And it was a nice distraction from the past year.
But the come down has me crashing and burning as I’m back to my old routines.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.
Most days, I feel directionless, and the boredom with it all is mind numbing.
I wake up, head down south and surf with my buddy and then spend the rest of the day at my parents' house ruminating on ideas around what new ventures I can start next.
Sometimes, having lots of money at your fingertips kills creativity and that seems to be what’s happened to me. I can’t come up with any new ideas and all of my plan’s circle back to nothing.
Yes, I know what you’re going to say, and I fully understand that I could always build another app and start over, but I don't want to. Once I've finished something, I like to move on to new things.
That’s mostly why I stopped writing to you. I don’t have anything interesting to say.
Your letters, though, have all been read and kept me entertained. And for that reason, I've decided to finally respond. Because despite your age, most days you seem to have things figured out better than I do.
So, you won first place in your soccer tournament. That's great. What position do you play? Is that the only sport you participate in?
How was your summer volunteering in San Angelo? Did you feel it solidified your desire to pursue music after graduating? Have you started voice lessons? Are you pursuing your dream?
Sorry for not asking about your favorite holiday.
Based on the letters we've shared over the past roughly two years, I can't say it surprises me that your favorite holiday is Christmas.
(Don't read too much into this. I'm saying it in a positive way that you probably believe in the magic of the season, holiday cheer - all that shit that kids like.)
You can tell your friend Kacey that Hollywood premieres aren't that glamourous. It's a lot of fake smiles, uncomfortable clothing, and yes, the lights that are flashed in your eyes are way too damn bright and leave you seeing stars for hours.
I've only attended a few red carpets with my mom, and they were all when I was much younger. Once I could communicate effectively, I told her and my dad I wasn't interested in joining them anymore and stayed home with the nanny instead.
Did I ever tell you that my parents put me in a kid's acting class when I was younger?
Yep, I was a reoccurring extra on a season of Barney and Friends.
I think that’s the moment when I first realized most things other people thought were hard, were easy for me.
The director tried to make me into the star of the show, but my parents (thankfully) saw that I despised the long filming sessions and withdrew me from season 2 filming.
Hey - I told you that in confidence, so don't go trying to find old episodes of Barney and Friends on YouTube to watch my immature acting.
I'm serious, Dove.
The point of this story is to say that, despite experiencing a bit of every job in my 20 years, nothing has truly challenged me in the way I long to be tested.
Should I try singing, like you? I bet I'd suck at that. Maybe that would 'humble me,' like you so strongly suggested in your last letter.
I deserved that.
Probably deserved a lot worse.
Dallas
PS: What's up with this Henrik guy? Are you still talking to him? He sounds like a tool. Dove is the perfect nickname for you. Angel, ain't it.