Chapter 11 – Paloma
Dear Dallas – (if that's even your real name?),
You haven’t written back in months, yet you said you weren't going to ghost me so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here which is asking a lot from me right now.
Have you figured out what you want to do next now that you've sold your app?
I just turned seventeen years old and started taking private singing lessons with a teacher in San Angelo. She has me singing in every genre to practice my range but I’m realizing now, I prefer good ole’ rock-n-roll.
The greats, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, even some of the recent stuff is fun. It takes a lot of control but beyond that, the emotion behind rock-n-roll is what I love so much.
I tried emo once but that isn’t for me.
What do you think of rock-n-roll? Do you listen to music? The way you describe yourself, I’d think you’re into the Beatles or the Beach Boys. The music my dad likes to listen to. Oldies.
That’s what I picture when you write letters to me. You, with a surfboard on your shoulder and your long, shaggy blonde hair hanging out the window of a corvette.
(Do you have long, shaggy blonde hair? You never described yourself when you wrote back. Which BTW – has been close to three months now.)
I think it’s the challenge that I enjoy the most with rock 'n roll. The control, the angst, and the lyrics interwoven in a bad ass tune. I’m becoming quite an angsty teenage girl, apparently. My love for Gwen Stefani is only causing that angst to grow.
My brother is away at college and my sister is going to the community college in town. They’ve both told me that I've really grown into my nickname, Dove, over the past year and am finding my own identity.
I don’t know what that means other than I have started cursing like a sailor and wearing more black clothing and heavier makeup.
Now that you're twenty-one, are you planning to buy alcohol every chance you get? Is that what twenty-one-year-olds do? Do you even drink?
I don’t think I will when I’m old enough. I tried some of my friend's whiskey that her parents had locked up during a sleepover, and it burned all the way down and into my stomach. It was disgusting.
Do you like whiskey? Not sure if we can still be friends if you do.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I missed hearing from you.
Thanks for continuing to write to me though you're much older and cooler now.
I'm sure it's probably weird being a guy in your twenties writing to a teenager in a different state but I've been processing a lot of stuff lately and your last few letters have really helped me.
Being pen pals for almost three years counts as you being my pseudo best friend (besides Kacey, and Millie, of course.) Hope you don't mind me claiming that. I like our friendship. It's weird.
Kind of like me.
Things with Henrik are going well. We’re still dating though sometimes he gets overly possessive and frustrated whenever I have to go to singing lessons instead of spending time with him.
I'm starting to wonder if I'll always prioritize singing and the things that I want to do over the men I date. Dating just doesn't feel as important. Putting someone else's wants and needs over mine sounds like torture. If he keeps complaining about my singing lessons, I might have to end things.
We haven’t done anything… you know… other than make out a few times.
I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I don’t think he’s that great at kissing.
There's something about the way he uses his tongue like a mop that doesn’t make it enjoyable for me and last time we kissed he gave me strep throat which made it hard to sing.
I hated that.
I know I'm almost an adult now, but you lied about feeling like an adult once I turned eighteen.
I'm a year away from that and I have a tough time believing I'm going to feel that much different from how I do right now. I’ll report back.
Write back.
XoXo- Dove