Chapter 28 – Paloma #2
Now, I know that those parts of me will always exist, but they’ll be safely framed by being loved, wholly known, and honored by Dallas as he respects my body and supports my dreams, wherever they take me.
There’s something to be said about being with someone who doesn’t try to reduce you to what they want you to be for them and I was just seeing that for the first time.
“Merry Christmas, sis,” Millie says, breaking the moment. She slides up next to us and slips her arms around my waist in a tight hug.
“I can’t believe you all did this,” I shake my head, still in disbelief that everyone I love is here together tonight.
“Come on! Grab some food before it gets cold. We're doing potluck style so that everyone can spread out and catch up,” my mom says from the kitchen.
My brother Franklin throws an arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side as he guides me into the dining room.
Dallas lets me go, and as I follow the rest of my friends and family into the heart of the cheerful celebration, I glance over my shoulder to find him smiling knowingly, mouthing the words, "I’ll deck your halls later,” and that sounds like the only way to make this day any better.
Five hours later, after indulging in all the Christmas classics and my favorite dishes, opening the gifts my friends and family had saved for my return, and sharing so much laughter and joy that my cheeks physically hurt, we transition to a lively round of Christmas karaoke in the living room of Golden Farm.
My parents and Nash and Jovie have already retreated with their kids back to their homes, leaving the rest of us to continue the festivities.
“Who’s up next?” Stevie asks the wild group that remains.
“I think it’s the marine with a soft side's turn,” Wylie says, nudging Dallas forward.
“Oh, gosh, this is going to be good,” I smirk as I take another sip of my spiked eggnog.
Dallas grabs the karaoke microphone as he whispers something into Millie’s ear who bobs her head excitedly before typing into the laptop we've connected to speakers.
"I think you’ll remember from one of my letters years ago, that I once tried my hand at karaoke. It was a disaster. Miserable failure actually and something I swore I wouldn’t do again."
I giggle like a schoolgirl, recalling how he’d admitted to discovering his limits that night. He’d said singing was something he’d leave to me and the other rock greats.
“But I’ve been practicing this one, so I hope you’ll see my dedication to continuing to try new things, even after knowing I'm bad at them,” his brown eyes are warm as the melody of No Doubt’s, ‘Underneath it All’ begins to play through the stereo speakers.
I burst into laughter as Dallas starts belting out the lyrics to a Gwen Stefani love ballad, one of my favorites from the badass rocker chick I’ve always admired.
“Oh my gosh, don’t stop, please.” I laugh harder as Dallas dances animatedly around the living room, showing a side of him that I always knew existed, but my friends and family had likely never seen.
It wasn't a Christmas song, but it was meaningful to us.
No one else knew that I'd told Dallas years ago that Gwen Stefani had been my inspiration for choosing to pursue rock music as a kid.
Just another thing that I hadn't realized he'd remembered...
His performance completes with a slow strip tease where he stays mostly clothed and lots of energetic hand gestures. By the end of it, I don’t think it’s possible to laugh any harder.
Completely winded and out of breath, he takes a moment to pause with a big grin before bringing the mic to his lips again.
“Paloma, despite embarrassing myself with that performance and giving Wylie a story that I'll never live down...”
“Not a chance, brother,” Wylie calls out behind me.
Dallas grins, “In all seriousness, I meant every word. I’m really lucky, underneath it all, to have met a woman like you so long ago and forged a friendship that I feel defies the odds.
I left for bootcamp nine years ago a pretty immature, privileged, conceited kid, and came back, a slightly more mature, but broken man searching for some peace and solitude.
I gravitated to Lonestar Junction for you, but I could never have anticipated that I'd find so much peace being in a relationship with a world-famous rock star. It’s the steady security and silent confidence that we have that speaks life and commitment into our relationship.
The confidence for both of us to be wholly ourselves when we are together and apart. ”
I smile at him as he steps towards the couch and bends down to give me a kiss. Clay cheers loudly from next to me as Wylie lets out some expletives.
"So, though I want this to be a proposal, it isn't. God knows I don't want to overshadow your star by tying you down to a guy like me for the world to see, especially with your upcoming tour.
This is a promise—I'm committed to you, completely.
I don't need marriage to tether you to me because I'm all in, babe. "
I stand up to meet him, reaching up to grab his face for another kiss.
"I've never cared much about my reputation, but the fact that you're considering what marriage would mean for my career means everything. My heart has been committed to you since the first letter you wrote, when I first questioned if your name was really Dallas. And when the time is right, I hope you’ll propose because I know I want to be your wife. "
Dallas grips my hips, dips me low, and kisses me with such intensity that I can’t imagine feeling happier.
Surrounded by friends I’ve known for most of my life and people who care deeply about our happiness—those who loved me before the fame—I feel my heart forever tied between two worlds.
But I also know Dallas will never make me choose between them, which is why this will work.
If only I could bottle up this moment to draw on in the challenging months ahead...