Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
T he next day was a flurry of activity. With her mother, aunt, and sister in town, there was no escaping engagement and wedding talk, and for all the awkward silence her sister had given her while she was away filming in Vancouver, she was full in on the wedding planning now. After a day of being dragged to every wedding dress shop in Portland, the four of them met Natalie, Hope, and Ivy at one of the local upscale restaurants for lunch and to finalize details for the engagement party at Bowie’s the next evening.
Lucy avoided making eye contact with Ivy, who glared at her with an unnerving combination of suspicion and distrust. After Joel’s revelations last night, Lucy would be lying if she said she hadn’t been intrigued by what had happened. It was pure curiosity, and one hundred percent not her business. Joel didn’t have to tell her any of it, but she was grateful he had, because she now understood why it’d taken him so long to get home while her world was imploding. What would Hope and Ivy think if they knew Joel had told her what had happened to them?
“Are we sure having an engagement party at a bar isn’t tacky?” Maria asked the group, cutting into Lucy’s thoughts. At least Maria had the grace to cast Hope an apologetic glance. “No offence, cara , I am sure your husband has a nice bar, but back home we would usually rent a nice hall. Is there an Italian Cultural Center close by? Or maybe one of Joel’s properties. Doesn’t he have a nice one on the coast?”
“Mom, Ivy and Hope have already organized everything and booked Bowie’s,” Vanessa chided. “I’ve been to the bar. Trust me, it’s nice. Classy. Plus, the media will be there. I’ve invited influencers. It’ll put Bowie’s on the map. ”
Maria sniffed. “Is it an engagement party or a Hollywood affair, Vanessa? Why do we need the people from the media ? This isn’t one of your red carpet events or a trashy party. It is your sister’s engagement party!”
“Mom, please.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, then glanced at Lucy and mouthed the word see?
This was why her sister had left as soon as she could. She and Maria were like oil and water. Maria was old school and her expectations were high. For Maria, success was a family affair. You did something for the betterment and the success of your family. But Vanessa had chased her own dreams, built her success on her own, and enjoyed it. For Vanessa, the pressure to be tied to family was stifling and annoying.
Lucy didn’t share the sentiment. The way she saw it, her family had done a lot for her, and it was her obligation to do everything she could to support them in return.
There were times where she felt stifled, many times when she was annoyed, especially when most of her family didn’t take her seriously or listen to what she said. But she was beginning to realize that had more to do with her own inability to give herself a voice than anything wrong in her family .
“Zia, the bar is perfect. Trust me, it’s not some run down, side of the road biker bar you’re imagining. Bowie’s is popular. It’s the place to be. You should feel lucky that Gabe and Hope will be part of the family soon,” Natalie said, running interference while sipping her mimosa. “Isn’t it cool to think of it like that? Once Lucy and Joel marry, the Barones, Morgans and Walshes all become one big family. I can give Hope a free balayage in exchange for drinks at Bowie’s. It’ll be great!”
Lucy glanced around the table. Except for Ivy, who was still scowling at her, everyone looked happy and excited, discussing this big event like it was real.
After last night, it was starting to feel real for Lucy. Joel had said things that made her think he’d felt the shift too. But what if they were feelings of nostalgia?
Staying married was a big commitment involving sacrifices for both of them. Would he leave after their year of marriage like they’d agreed, or would he stay and try?
The thought was too big, especially with her mother and sister arguing about what wine to serve (Italian or Californian) and Ivy still eyeing her over the rim of her glass. Needing a moment to focus, Lucy excused herself to the ladies’ room.
Last night had been such a breakthrough, and the last few days together had reminded her that she and Joel were more than their combustible sexual chemistry. They shared a real bond.
But four years had passed since they separated. Joel had set up a new life for himself in Portland. Even if it was temporary, it was long-term temporary. They had their sights set on different things.
After eight minutes of sitting on the closed toilet seat, her heart still beat unsteadily. She needed a plan if she was going to sort through her messy emotions. Talking had worked for them. If they had only talked four years ago the way they had last night, maybe they wouldn’t be here now. Then again, at that time in her grief, she would have never been ready to dig this deep. Timing was everything. And this was theirs.
Resolved to talk more tonight, Lucy got up, opened the stall door, and came face to face with Ivy, who leaned against the sink, arms crossed. They appeared to be the only ones in the bathroom, which, judging by Ivy’s steely expression was a good thing or…maybe a bad? This girl looked like she knew how to fight.
“He told you, didn’t he?” Ivy said, her eyes not wavering from Lucy’s.
“Um.” That was all she could say as her brain scrambled to come up with a game plan.
Ivy didn’t know Lucy and Joel were married. She didn’t know they’d lost a baby when he’d been away helping her and his sister. She had no reason to know or understand why Joel would have any excuse to break a confidence.
“It’s okay. I told him he could if he ever needed to. I don’t want people keeping secrets for me anymore. I’m in a different place now. Joel knows that. It’s just, I’m wondering why it came up, is all.” When Lucy didn’t reply, Ivy shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, totally none of my business. If Joel believed it was important to tell you, then he had a good reason. He doesn’t make a single decision thoughtlessly, and he never betrayed my trust, not once.”
“No, he doesn’t.” But Lucy knew a hard, intimate truth about Ivy, and she deserved an explanation as to why. “We were talking about the complicated things that happened in our past. He told me about going to help his sister in college, in a very vague, limited way. ”
“Ah, the past. It has such a hold on us, huh?” She turned to the mirror and pulled out a lip balm from her bag. “Funny how the bad shit can haunt us like a motherfucker. But when the good stuff happens, we don’t even blink. As if we deserve it somehow. Truth is, we don’t deserve the good or the bad. Both happen to everyone. And they both affect you. But have you ever thought about what life would be like if we invested more energy in the good than the bad?” She caught Lucy’s gaze in the mirror as she applied a coat.
Had she? Not in those terms. The realization of how much time she’d lost holding onto the negative was unsettling.
“Well,” Ivy went as she rubbed her lips together. “I’m still trying to figure out how to give the good stuff more power than the bad, but I’m getting there.” She turned toward the door, then stopped. “Joel’s had his fair share of shit to deal with. He’s always fixing everything for everyone else. Me, his sister, patching his family back together after Hope’s adoption bomb. Joel is always picking up pieces because he’s a natural born leader. He walks into a room and people have a compulsion to do what he says. His authority is hypnotic, but I can never hate him for it because he’s so…good, you know?”
Lucy did know, and yet she’d, nonetheless, spent four years being angry with him. No, not him, the situation. Only yesterday had she started to truly understand that.
“I’ve wondered if he’d ever have anything for himself. He’s always holding things together. It’s reassuring to know that he might finally have someone to hold him together.” She cast a long, meaningful look at Lucy. “You’ll take care of his heart, right?”
Guilt slammed into her. When he’d needed someone to hold him together, she’d been too broken to even recognize it. Whether she could now was something she wasn’t entirely sure of, but she wanted to try, so she replied, “Yes.”
“Good, ’cause he’s a catch and a half. And for once, he needs someone to make sure he gets as good as he gives.” Ivy clapped her hands. “Okay, no more moping in the bathroom. Let’s go finish eating. Joel’s footing the bill, so we might as well order dessert and a bottle of champagne to go.”
Joel was supposed to be in meetings all day.
“How do you know he foot the bill?”
“Oh, because when Maria asked for the bill, the server told her it was already taken care of by a gentleman who phoned earlier. We knew it was Joel because that’s the kind of stuff Joel does.” She shot Lucy another look. “That good and bad stuff in life I was talking about, well, Joel’s the good stuff. And he’s yours, so don’t hurt him, okay?”
Ivy was out the door before Lucy could do any more than nod.