1. Hope
1
HOPE
A gasp escapes my throat as I quickly sit up in bed. My hand lands on my chest as I work to slow my breathing, shaking off the tendrils of fear. Images of cold, hard eyes and clenched fists try to push their way into my mind.
Another nightmare.
I haven’t had one in a few weeks and was starting to get used to sleeping all the way through the night instead of waking up in a panic. Sometimes, I can pinpoint what triggers them, but this one came out of left field.
The clock on my nightstand reads four-thirty in the morning. With adrenaline still coursing through me, I know I won’t be going back to sleep. I have to be at the shop in a couple of hours for a delivery anyway, so I might as well start my day.
Thinking about my flower shop, Blooming Beautiful, a smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. It’s still hard to believe this dream of mine has become a reality. Even after being in business for over a year now, I still sometimes can’t wrap my head around it.
I quickly shower in my tiny bathroom, then get dressed for my day. I bought a bunch of T-shirts with my business logo in different colors so that I can maintain a professional appearance while still being comfortable. It makes getting ready for my day quick and painless.
After making a cup of coffee, I grab my latest read and sit out on my baby balcony. Since I have some extra time this morning, I’m going to take advantage of it by escaping into the world of romance.
I love reading all kinds of genres, but romance novels are my favorite. There’s something about seeing a couple get their happily ever after, no matter what they go through, that’s comforting to me. Maybe it’s because I’m still working toward my own happy ending—minus the man part of the equation. I do not need a guy to be happy. A puppy, on the other hand, might be a good option.
When I moved to Sonoma, North Carolina, I was finally taking back my life. Never again was I going to allow someone else to make decisions for me. Never again would I let fear stop me from doing what I want to do.
I found an apartment I loved, an adorable little storefront to open my shop, and every choice I’ve made has been mine alone. Now, all I have left to do is accept what happened in my past, and move forward.
I thought I was getting close when the nightmares stopped, but after last night, maybe that’s not the case. I’m doing much better than I was this time last year, though, so, despite the dreams, I’m still in a great place.
After getting in some decent reading time, I move from my comfy patio chair and head back inside to make a to-go cup of coffee. Getting my day started on the right foot requires two things: coffee and flowers. Having one of those items in my hand, I leave my tiny apartment and head toward my shop for the second.
The town is quiet this early in the morning, blanketed in a sense of peace before the sun wakes the world with a new day. Despite having to be here before dawn, watching the sunrise through the windows of my shop brings me a joy I never knew I’d get to experience.
Owning a business has many pitfalls—having to wake up early, for one—but what makes everything worth it for me is being the one to make all the decisions. I love getting to choose what items come into the store, how it’s decorated, or even who I employ. I also love being able to change my mind just because I feel like it. It’s freeing.
A knock on the back door prompts the arrival of my flower delivery. When I prop the door open, Denny lugs in a long box of flowers. “Good morning, Denny.”
He sets the box down on the large table in the middle of the room. “Mornin’, Hope. You doing okay?”
“I’m just fine. How are you? How are the kids?” Denny works for the flower company in Westlake—the next town over—but lives here in Sonoma. We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well over the last year.
As Denny unloads the rest of my flowers, he tells me all about his little girl’s dance recital, which prompts a story about his neighbor’s daughter who use to do dance but is now, apparently, a surly teenager with an attitude problem.
I’ve found the people in this tiny town are the nosiest busybodies I’ve ever met. They are the masters of leading questions, trying to dig up more information on whatever gossip is being spread. It’s quite entertaining to watch them try to one-up each other with what they know. I love it.
“How’s everything going with you? The shop doing okay?” Denny asks when he’s finally done with the last box. He’s standing next to his truck with his hands on his hips, seeming perfectly content to chat the day away.
“The shop is doing great. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Good, good. You know, if you’re lonely, I’ve got a cousin who’s single. I’m sure he’d love to take out a pretty girl like you.” Denny winks.
Mortification fills my face as I self-consciously laugh. “I’m not lonely, Denny, but I appreciate the offer. I should probably get these flowers put away before I have to open.” Talk about a leading question, that was just bold.
Chuckling, Denny waves a hand in response before jumping into his truck to finish his deliveries. Shaking my head, I walk back inside to start putting the flowers in the large walk-in cooler.
Despite their meddling, the people here do genuinely care about me and my store. Even when I’m being cagey about my background, they still say hello or ask how I’m doing. What’s more, they truly want to hear my answer. It’s refreshing when I’m so used to no one paying any attention to me at all.
When I first arrived in Sonoma, I didn’t want to be noticed. I wanted to blend into the background, hiding behind the flowers I created. I thought it would be an easier way to live, a simpler way. Instead, these people took me in and showed me I didn’t have to hide away anymore. I could finally live my life exactly how I wanted without having to hold back who I truly was on the inside.
It’s been a liberating experience, allowing me to slowly uncover the person I was always supposed to be instead of who I was forced to be.
The alarm on my phone blares, telling me it’s time to open, so I step toward the front doors, twist the deadbolt, and flip over the Open sign. Turning, I take in my shop as the morning sun shines through the windows.
Around the outside edges of the store are dozens of leafy plants, creating a secret garden vibe. Interspersed are pre-potted plants people are encouraged to buy. I have a couple of tables in the middle of the room with multi-tiered displays holding an array of succulents, garden-themed trinkets, as well as items to help your garden thrive.
A long counter lines the back wall, where the cash register sits on one end, while the other is used for my worktop. Four glass refrigerators are lined up behind the counter holding several options for flower arrangements that people can either buy or use as inspiration for their own arrangements.
My obsession with flowers started when I was a little girl, creating arrangements for my grandmother using flowers from her garden. Even though I was little, I knew I wanted to do it as my career. Then I worked in a flower shop in high school. Working long hours every day, I learned a lot about the business in the hopes I could keep my job after I graduated. Then my life turned upside down, and I was never able to follow my dreams.
Memories from my past start to creep into my mind, and I shake my head, focusing on my to-do list for the day instead. I don’t need or want the negative energy from my past in my shop, so I make sure to never bring those memories here.
Standing behind my counter, feeling like I’m back in charge of my life, I look at my list of customer orders. It’s going to be a busy day if I’m to get everything done. When the door chimes, ushering in one of my regulars, any lingering negativity from my past is quickly replaced with flowers, greenery, and beautiful arrangements for the rest of the day.
Exactly how I prefer it to go.