Chapter Twenty-Seven #2
“Your brain is being mean to you, telling you you don’t deserve this, but I promise you do. She wants you there.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes! Go book the tickets immediately!”
Audrey let out a startled laugh. “I have work tomorrow—”
“Call out sick.”
“It’s too late to even fly tonight. It’ll have to be tomorrow.”
“Okay, but, whatever you have to do to get on that plane, do it. Work will be fine, and you never call out. They can handle you finally doing something for yourself. And you need this, babe. I need this.”
“Are you planning on coming with me?”
Zora cackled delightedly. “No, but I look forward to calling you for Christmas when you’re with your girlfriend.”
“I couldn’t possibly impose for that long.”
“It’s not an imposition. Hallie’s been basically begging to see you again, every single part of her wants to spend the holidays with you. All you have to do is show up, ask her, be there. It’s all either of you wants for Christmas.”
“Yeah…” Audrey breathed. It was. She loved the camera so much, but she’d give up every Christmas gift she’d ever gotten if it meant she got to be with Hallie. “Okay. I… think I need to call… Wes. He’d probably be the happiest to come pick me up from the airport.”
Zora squealed. “Oh, my god, he’s going to be so excited! I cannot wait to hear every little bit of how it goes. And pictures! You’re going to take pictures and we’ll look at them together over coffee and it will be the best thing ever.”
Audrey felt her eyes burning. Zora was amazing. This whole thing was amazing. Everything was going to be amazing.
She tapped again, counting, breathing, praying everything would be okay. Maybe it would… just this once?
“I love you bigger than the whole sky,” she told Zora, ridiculously emotional and pouring every bit of love and gratitude she could muster into the statement.
“You too, babe,” Zora replied, impossibly softly. “Now, go get your girl!”
Audrey laughed as they hung up and she immediately dialed Wes. He was every bit as happy to hear from her as Zora had been.
“Hey, Prof! How’s it going?” he asked, his voice deep and amused, like he’d already been in the middle of laughing. Perhaps the universe had somehow alerted him that amazing things were taking place.
“Good. Yeah. Uh, Wes? How would you feel about coming to get me from the airport tomorrow?”
He was quiet for a moment, frozen, before he exploded. His voice felt closer to the mic, as if he was positively ramming the phone into the side of his face. “Are you serious? You’re coming here? We get to see you again?”
“I mean, yeah, if you’ll have me?”
“You don’t even need to ask! Hallie’s going to… well, she’s probably going to die from happiness.”
“I really hope she doesn’t.” Audrey cringed and forcefully shook her head at the idea, her fingernails digging hard into her thumb.
Wes laughed. “Don’t worry, she wouldn’t literally die and miss getting to see you. You just have no idea how much she’s missing you.”
Audrey smiled a little sadly and very knowingly. “I think I might have some idea.”
“You’re going to stay for Christmas, right?”
“Yeah, so long as you don’t think she’ll get sick of me?”
He snorted. “Be so for real right now. You could stay forever and she’d never get sick of you.”
Audrey’s insides glowed hot and hopeful. She really wanted to find out that that was true.
“And,” Wes continued, sounding more like he was smirking, “your timing couldn’t be better.”
“How?”
“Well, I just made it to Ann Arbor. Guess who’s got a date tonight with your spider specialist.”
Audrey laughed. She’d known Wes and Imani would get along but she had not been expecting a date.
He must really love spiders—Imani had forever promised never to date someone who couldn’t understand how beautiful they were.
Unfortunately, that had left her dating pool surprisingly small after accounting for the rest of her tastes.
Maybe it wasn’t that surprising that Wes was hitting all of her criteria. He wasn’t Audrey’s type, but she could see the way he was checking things off Imani’s list. The Fullers were just magical like that.
“I cannot wait to hear all about it,” she told him happily.
“Hey, this whole thing wouldn’t be happening without you. Whatever you want to know is yours.”
She laughed again and hoped he’d run that by Imani first. “I don’t want to make you drive all that way today and then back down tomorrow. I can get a rental car…”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m off work and can book a place to stay tonight, come get you from wherever you’re flying into, and we’ll head back and surprise Hallie together. I’ll text the family to make sure they’re all at Mom’s.”
“Ah. An audience…”
He laughed. “We’ll give you your privacy to talk to Hallie, but we all want to see you too. And we want to see Hallie stop pining over a woman she’s already dating but worried about losing.”
Audrey wasn’t sure she was ever going to get over the fear of losing someone as spectacular as Hallie, but she also knew this trip would be helpful. It would cement things for the two of them. It was a declaration, a question. One she was more than ready to make, to ask.
She nodded, sucking in a breath. “Okay, well, I’m going to book the tickets now and I’ll text you the details. I can split the cost of your bill for tonight if you—”
“No, Prof. Just get your ass on the plane and come make out with my sister.”
“It sounds so weird when you say that.”
“Good. I’m weird. Get used to it. You’re stuck with me now.”
Audrey smiled. She was weird, he was weird, life was weird.
And, yes, flying across the country to surprise Hallie was probably weird, but weird was good.
She needed weird. She’d spent so long trying to be perfect and tidy and correct by someone else’s standards that she deserved a little weird.
She deserved to jump into something that felt right, even if it was a little terrifying.
But, maybe that was just living, and she’d waited long enough to do that.
◆◆◆
The closer they got to the house, the more Audrey felt like she couldn’t breathe. She’d been close to breaking the whole day. Her hands were aching but she was still tapping her fingers where they were trapped between her knees as Wes approached his mother’s home.
He’d been a good choice. He didn’t need her to be coherent enough to hold a conversation. All he cared about was the fact that she was here. Wes did the chatting and Audrey concentrated on existing.
Her mind latched to the camera in her bag, tucked into Wes’ trunk.
Sure, she’d been nervous—terrified, even—the whole plane ride and the whole drive back to Traverse City, but it wasn’t bad.
Her body didn’t yet know how to differentiate between good and bad stress, so it was just going through its usual motions, but some deep part of Audrey knew the difference.
For the first time, flying back to Michigan had felt like flying home.
Sure, she was on edge, but the edge wasn’t one that led to devastation.
At least, she hoped it didn’t. Everyone else seemed to believe it led to the greatest thing existence had to offer, and Audrey was inclined to believe them.
She hadn’t spent the flight spiraling into a deep hole of despair, knowing that torment was all that awaited her on the other side.
She couldn’t imagine ever coming back here to see her family again.
She knew it wasn’t that easy. Part of her still desperately wanted their approval, but she knew it wasn’t coming—had known that for a long time.
And, now, she was experiencing what traveling to somewhere she felt welcome and respected was like.
It was hard to want the former when the latter was so wonderful.
“Okay,” Wes said as he pulled in. “Ready for this?”
Audrey made an incoherent sound. She absolutely was. Every part of her was crying out for Hallie, needing her presence, her laughter, her existence.
Part of her was still terrified, though. This was it. Life and love and figuring out how the hell to make it all work. Beautiful, terrifying, and still worth it.
She took a breath and nodded, clambering out of the car and pulling the camera from her bag the second she retrieved it from the trunk. She’d set it up but she hadn’t taken a photo yet. Every part of her knew what the first one needed to be and she was finally in a position to be able to take it.
She shot Wes a look. There was no need to be this scared. She knew it was going to go well. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t. Still, exposing yourself, asking someone to risk everything with you, was always going to be terrifying.
Wes grinned, although he’d barely stopped since he’d pulled her into a huge hug at the airport.
That had been nice, too—someone finally picking her up and seeming genuinely glad she was there, that she existed.
Then, he’d gotten into regaling her about his date with Imani and that had gone remarkably well.
He’d been a giant pot of love and optimism the entire ride back, and Audrey appreciated that.
He led her to the house, warm lights beckoning them in from the cold, and called out as soon as they stepped inside.
Audrey smiled, nervous and emotional when she found herself standing in the Fuller kitchen.
Tracy looked proud and deeply, sincerely delighted to see her.
Isaac and Luca rained hugs and whispered celebrations down on her.
She hadn’t even seen Hallie yet and every part of this felt like finally coming home.
It felt exactly like she’d always wanted walking into her family’s home to feel.
She felt like herself, and like that was enough.
And, still, she ached for Hallie.
“Where’s Hallie at?” Wes asked on her behalf, and she shot him a grateful smile.
“The bathroom,” Isaac replied, a little too loud and a little too excited, but that, too, simply warmed Audrey’s heart.