Chapter 18
eighteen
Maddox
I pull my car into the deserted lot and put it in park.
Easton’s white teeth flash in the moonlight. “Good choice, Madz.”
I thought so. I fight a smile as I pop the trunk and throw open my door.
I head to the back of the car and grab the things I packed.
East is by my side a second later grabbing our blanket.
I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve snuck out to the beach at night growing up.
Back in high school, we’d throw back cans of soda and way too much sugar.
Then in college, we’d share a six-pack and calzones or a pizza.
We’d just lie under the stars, listening to the waves, talking about our dreams.
You and me.
I knew it was where I wanted tonight to end.
I’m so glad the weather cooperated. In Connecticut, November can be below freezing, or it can hit fucking eighty.
It’s a total crapshoot. It’s high-fifties tonight, so it’s chilly, but I have some thoughts about how I’ll keep us warm.
Plus, East and I have gone entire winters without wearing winter coats—much to our mothers’ chagrin—we can handle a little cold.
And I also came prepared. I pull out two pairs of sweats and hoodies from my bag and dangle them in front of East.
“You’re brilliant.” He smacks a kiss on my lips like it’s the most natural thing in the world and then kicks off his shoes and shucks his pants. I stand there dazed, my heart swooping through my chest. How is this real life?
Easton slides on the grey sweatpants and lets out a happy groan. “God, is there anything that feels better than worn-in sweatpants?”
Your lips.
Your love.
I chuckle to mask the mushy sentimental feelings flooding me. I swear I’m a breath away from turning into a heart-eyed cartoon, complete with that ridiculous thumping heart popping out of my chest. I swap out my fancy clothes for comfort.
“I appreciate you putting up with my formal-attire request. As much as I love hanging out in sweats, I can’t say I hated seeing you done up. You clean up nice, East.”
East’s head pops through the hole of his hoodie, a soft smile curving his lips. “You do too, Madz.”
I wiggle into my own hoodie and let out a yelp as two large hands tug me into a solid chest. East buries his head in my neck and inhales deeply.
It’s the way he always has, but this time it feels different.
Maybe because I can finally sink into it, appreciate it for what it is.
Before, I was always bracing myself, my heart.
Now I can just be. Just enjoy his breath puffing over my skin.
“I liked it.” His whisper dances over my neck, and I shiver. “Going on a date with you. Kinda made it feel like we were…”
His words fade into the night, but I know what he was going to say. It’s part of what I have planned for tonight.
I grab the bag and tug his hand, leading us to the beach.
My feet hit the cool sand, and it’s like coming home.
This beach is so much a part of me and East. I sink into the loose sand and wiggle my toes, the grains sifting through them.
I close my eyes and tilt my head back. And just breathe in the salt and brine and fresh air.
I love that we grew up on the coast. It might not be a Florida or Cali beach, but it’s served us well.
When I open my eyes, Easton is settling the blanket on the beach a few yards from the lifeguard tower, his tall, built form glowing silver in the wash of moonlight.
A few feet away, the water lazily laps toward him.
It’s a quiet night, the waters calm, the moon nearly full.
I place my bag down, roll up the bottom of my sweats, and carefully take out the final touch of the night.
Holding my hand behind my back, I walk up to East and gently guide him toward the water.
I walk backward, and he follows, a question reflecting in the moonlight glimmering off his eyes.
Icy water hits my feet, and goosebumps instantly dot my skin.
I don’t care, though. It settles me, the constant soft surge and retreat of the water.
East stares at me, head tilted, lips curving up the smallest amount on one side. I can’t stop myself. I lean forward and kiss the small dimple at the corner of his mouth. He tries to lean in for more, but I pull away. Not yet.
“I liked tonight too, East,” I whisper, twirling the item behind my back between my fingers.
“Going on a date with you. We haven’t had much time to talk about this.
About us. I’m sure it won’t come as any surprise what I want this to be.
” Nerves dance through my gut. A part of me wonders if I should have given him more time to process this before asking him. Let him test the waters.
I release a slightly unsteady breath and pull the rose out from behind me.
The moonlight shimmers over the white petals as I lift it up to him.
“I have loved you for so long, Easton.” My words are tight, emotion swelling in my throat.
“I’ve dreamed of a version of you and me…
one I never dared to believe could exist. One where I’m yours and you’re mine.
” My voice lowers to a nearly inaudible whisper, the words pulled from deep inside where I’ve hidden this secret for so long. “Where I get to call you my boyfriend.”
I spin the stem, my nerves showing in my restless fingers. He gently takes it from me, fingers brushing over mine.
“Can I, East?” My hands skate over his hips, and I can’t stop my fingers from tightening, digging into my dream. “Can I have the privilege of calling you my boyfriend?”
Easton brings the rose up to his nose and inhales softly.
His eyes glitter, carrying the glow of the moon and its reflection off the water.
They dance with a light that’s only for me.
“Yeah, Maddy. I’d really love that.” His gaze drops to the rose, and he slowly rubs his thumb and forefinger over a petal.
His stare flicks back up to me. “I know I was slow to catch on…but I want it all with you, Madz. Everything.”
I lean in and dust a kiss on his lips. He gently brushes his nose against mine, then dips in for a kiss.
It’s slow, simmering. Lips dragging, tongues gliding.
Lazy and light and so fucking lovely that I think my heart might burst with the sweetness of it.
He tastes like red wine and Easton, and I can’t get enough.
I told him back in my bedroom that I’ve been desperate to taste him. But I still haven’t gotten the taste I’ve been craving. I’m not waiting any longer. I think I’ve waited long enough.
I take the rose from him and toss it onto our blanket, then I drag him to the lifeguard tower. He stumbles at my abrupt change in pace, but what can I say? I'm a determined guy. I want my boyfriend’s cock in my mouth. My boyfriend. My pulse takes off.
I shove him up against the wood supports, and the breath leaves him with a whoosh. His eyes are wide, and he blinks rapidly. I’m pretty sure his brain hasn’t caught on to my intentions yet. This should help.
I drop to my knees.
“Oh.”
I lick my lips and bite my bottom one against a grin. I slide my fingers beneath the waistband of his sweats. “This okay?”
His Adam’s apple bobs in the moonlight. “Yeah,” he says breathlessly.
I run a hand over his dick. He’s firming up, and that has me jumping into action because I need to feel him grow hard in my mouth, feel him grow heavy.
My hands pause at the waistband of his sweats, and nerves flicker in my gut. There’s a constant worry in the back of my mind that I’m pushing him too far too fast. This is all brand new for him—being with a guy, being with me—and he’s only just started sorting out what attraction even means to him.
“It’s not too much?”
“No. Nope. Nip nap nope.” The words tumble out in a rush, all jumbled and messy. But the plea in them is clear: he definitely doesn’t want me to stop.
Forehead dropping to his hip, I smother my laugh against his thigh.
I love him so fucking much. “Nip nap nope. God, you kill me, East.” I glance up to catch his bashful smile.
I steal it away, like I always have. Except this time, it’s not something that needs to stay hidden with the rest of my impossible dreams. No, this time it’s proof the dream is real.
I pull his sweats and boxers down to mid-thigh. He bobs lightly in front of me, still hanging low between his thighs. I slide my hands up his thighs, the coarse hair abrading my palms.
I lean in and press open-mouthed kisses up his shaft.
He hisses out a breath, but that’s nothing to the noise he makes when my lips engulf his crown.
I swirl my tongue around him, teasing him with short, shallow movements.
I take my time, reveling in the way my lips stretch the harder he gets, the way he goes from firm to iron on my tongue.
Until he’s all the way hard and I know if I slide off him while sucking—pop.
The audible pop is quickly carried away by the soft ocean breeze. I grip the base and grin up at him.
“Hold on tight, East. I’m going to make you come so hard you forget you have knees.”
His hands reach behind him and grip the white wood of the lifeguard tower.
Then I dive back on him. I slide down him a quarter of the way and groan at the salty taste that bursts on my tongue.
Need more of that. I work him loosely, focusing on getting him as slick as I can until my mouth is sliding over him in smooth glides.
East is nothing but hitches and gasps and strangled moans. I finally glance up at him, and our gazes collide. He’s been watching me. Lust shoots through my groin. That fact makes it all so much more potent. He knows it’s me doing this. He wants it to be me.