Finding Home (Devious Eagles MC #2)

Chapter One

Anastasia

Five years later…

I let out a sigh as I walk into the house. It’s quiet as always, since Viking is never home.

A humourless chuckle leaves me for thinking of him as “Viking.” He hasn’t been Maverick in a very long time.

Maverick was the man who would do anything for me and loved me for who I was. He had looked at me with so much love that I felt like I could survive off it alone.

That was then. I haven’t felt that love in a long time.

We had sex, but that’s all it was; sex. I never felt the love behind it anymore.

I honestly didn’t know how long I could continue like this. Things had been rough ever since I had overheard Viking talking with Rage a few months ago.

My heart hurt hearing his words. I felt myself break. Soon, there wouldn’t be much more than crushed pieces of me if things kept going this way. I need to get out.

I grab the takeout menus since it sucks to cook for one person. I have no idea where Viking is and, to be honest, I stopped asking him after he started giving vague responses like “club business” or “the club” any time I would ask. Before that, he used to always at least go into a bit of detail so that I felt more connected to him when he was away. I used to feel like he could talk to me about anything and everything. Now, the words just never come.

There’s a knock on the door interrupting my thoughts on Chinese or Mexican. I get up to see who would be here. I rarely have visitors.

When I open the door, my eyes widen at Ice standing on the other side. He’s holding a bag from my favourite Chinese place. “It’s like you read my mind,” I say with a smile. He has been a great friend lately. I really needed a friend right now.

He grins at me with his dimples popping out. “The club can be loud and crowded some days, so I figured I would see if you would want some company.”

“Well, you came with food, so I guess I could let you in,” I tease while opening the door wider.

“By the way, babe, you need to check the peephole next time. You didn’t know who was on the other side,” he says as he walks in and puts the bag on the coffee table.

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I guess I forgot. The hunger pangs were distracting,” I tell him while heading to the kitchen to grab plates and forks.

“Just be careful next time. ‘Don’t want you getting hurt,” he shouts so that I can hear him from the kitchen.

I roll my eyes at his words. I’m sure he would be the only one to notice if something happened to me.

He’s putting everything out when I walk back into the living room. The smell makes my stomach growl so loudly that Ice looks at me in amusement.

“Wow, how did you manage to grab everything I love, and from my favourite place? I don’t think I have ever told you what I love from there,” I mention as I make my plate. Ice places a cooler in front of me and a beer in front of him.

A blush tints his cheeks. “I asked Dani. She said you loved Chinese and Mexican, but only she was allowed to buy you Mexican.”

I burst out in laughter at those words. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I told her once that if she bought me burritos, I would drop my pants for her.”

He seems to choke on nothing, and I look at him with a smirk. I know where his mind had gone. “Wow, now that’s good information to know,” he says with a wink.

My phone rings, and I look over to see Viking’s picture show up. I roll my eyes and ignore it. When I look up at Ice, he gives me a questioning glance.

“He’s probably phoning to ask why you are here. The place has cameras everywhere, except the bathrooms,” I tell him.

“Does that bother you?” he asks.

He stares at me for a few moments and gives me a serious look.

I shrug my shoulders. “Not really. I knew about them when I first moved in. He said that he would have taken them down if having them up bothered me, but we both decided to keep them up because they helped to reassure him that I am safe when he is away for work. Honestly, I didn’t think he really checked them anymore.”

“Well, I’m not here for anything other than trying to be your friend. I’m not trying to steal you from your husband. That’s not the kind of guy I am,” he tells me like I didn’t already know.

“Trust me. I can barely handle one biker. There is no way I’d ever be able to handle two,” I say with a dry laugh. I’m trying to feel the humour in my statement, but I just don’t feel it. I haven’t felt happy in a long time.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks me after we are quiet for a few moments. Everyone wants to know what’s going on, but I’m a really private person and honestly, I don’t really know myself.

I shake my head. “Not really. It just might be time to realize that this marriage has run its course,” I say with a sad sigh. I fight back the tears that want to fall.

“Well, if there’s anything you need help with this week, just let me know,” he tells me. I have a feeling that he’s being genuine in offering me the help and company.

“Well, since you offered, there is something wrong with the plumbing,” I say slowly.

“Alright. I can do that. What’s wrong with it?” he asks while getting up.

“Wait, let’s eat first before you get started on that. Tell me more about yourself,” I say as he takes a seat again.

“What do you want to know?” he asks while looking at me.

“Well, why did you decide to transfer here?” I ask him.

“One of my club brothers married my high school sweetheart. It was weird as fuck seeing them together. It was hard to be around them, and I figured I needed a change anyway. I grew up in that town and decided on a fresh start,” he tells me.

I wince at how awkward that must be. “That doesn’t exactly sound like a fun time,” I tell him.

He shakes his head with a low chuckle. “No, it really isn’t. Things didn’t really work out between us. Still, it was weird as fuck seeing her with someone in my club.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind telling me. If you do, then just ignore that question,” I say awkwardly while taking a bite of my chow mein.

“It’s okay. We are going to be friends, right? Friends know shit about each other,” he states while looking at me.

I nod my head in agreement.

“Well…”

Just before he starts to tell me any juicy details, the front door slams open. I let out a sigh and roll my eyes.

“Anastasia!” Viking hollers.

“In here, but you already know that,” I say loudly.

Viking walks into the room and looks seething mad. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“We are eating Chinese…” I say slowly.

“Why the fuck are you eating with another man, alone?” Viking spits out.

I stand up as anger takes over me.

“I hope you aren’t implying what I think you are. It’s food, Viking . We aren’t fucking on the couch,” I snap at him.

He looks at me like I’ve slapped him. “You don’t call me Viking. You call me Maverick.”

His tone is low and full of hurt.

I let out a scoff. “I call the man I married Maverick. The man who wasn’t this asshole standing in front of me. You haven’t been Viking for months; maybe even longer.”

“What are you talking about? You call me Maverick,” he says, sounding confused.

I look towards Ice who looks like he’s about to leave.

“Sit,” I tell him.

He freezes in place and looks me in the eyes for a moment before sitting down and grabbing his plate like he’s about to enjoy a show; which, in a way, I guess he is.

“He doesn’t need to be here,” Viking hisses out.

“He’s my friend. We were hanging out before you rudely interrupted to act like you give a shit about me,” I tell him angrily.

His eyes widen at my words.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I care about you. You’re my wife,” he says, sounding pained.

I shake my head. It’s about time I said something instead of keeping quiet. Be strong. You’ve got this.

The room fills with more bikers who are looking panicked until they see Viking and me in a stand off. They look relieved that Viking isn’t beating the shit out of, or killing, Ice for having dinner with me.

“What the fuck are you thinking, man? She’s a brother’s wife!” Rock shouts at Ice accusingly.

Ice looks at all his brothers angrily because they are looking at him like he’s moving in on a brother’s wife. “I would never make a move on a brother’s wife. We are just fucking eating. I told Rage she needed a friend, and that’s all I was trying to be.”

“Everyone shut up,” Viking shouts before looking back at me. “Button…”

My heart nearly splits in two at the familiar nickname. “Don’t call me that,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

“I’m sorry,” Viking pleads with me. For the first time in almost two years, I see the man I used to know behind his eyes; but it’s a little too late for him to come back.

“You don’t get to call me that. Not after everything you have put me through. You haven’t been my Maverick for just as long as I haven’t been your Button,” I choke out.

“You don’t mean that,” Viking says with his voice cracking by the end of his statement. I look away, unable to tolerate the pain in his eyes. I still love him with everything that I am, so I hate hurting him; but I’m hurting myself even more by pretending, with every day that goes by, that I am not dying inside.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t walk around living my life like my heart isn’t breaking every second of the day. Like maybe if I did something different, or was able to get pregnant, that maybe you would look at me the way you used to. Maybe you would even love me again,” I say without bothering to wipe the tears that run down my cheeks.

He looks like he wants to speak, but I’m not finished yet. I put my hand up to stop him from speaking. “I heard what you said to Rage a few months ago. You were tempted by the club whores, our sex life is boring, and you hate the way I dress and look. I never thought you would be someone who would hurt me, but I felt like whatever was left of us died that night. There’s no more us.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. I was just-” he stops like he’s trying to find another lie to tell me.

“I don’t even care anymore. I want a divorce,” I say, even though it hurts to say those words I had never thought I would need to.

“We aren’t getting a divorce. You’re my wife. My Old Lady. You have my cut, and my ring on your finger,” Viking says, sounding pissed.

“This ring is nothing but a fucking leash. The cut was just another way for you to tie yourself to me, but both of those things feel like dead weight that I’m going to shed,” I say, proud of myself for keeping my voice steady.

“I won’t ever let you go,” he spits out, stepping closer to me.

“You don’t have a choice. I’m done,” I say before grabbing my purse and tossing my phone out, since I know he can track me with it, and throwing my ring his way.

“Ana!” he shouts, sounding on the verge of panic when he sees how serious I am about leaving.

“If you guys ever cared about me, make sure he doesn’t follow me. I can’t be here right now,” I say, looking at the president of the Devious Eagles MC.

He looks at me for a moment before nodding his head. “Hold him down,” he states as Viking lets out a pained scream.

I whisper “thank you” as I leave the place I once called my home, and as the man I once loved lets out roars of rage.

Outside, I look at my vehicle knowing that Viking could track that too; but I see Danielle waiting in hers.

I make a run for it. “Thank God you are here. Take me to the airport,” I choke out, trying not to cry.

“Are you okay?” Dani asks as she pulls onto the street.

“Nothing is okay right now,” I whisper.

“Where are you going to go?” she asks me.

“I wish I could tell you, but I don’t want Viking to know,” I tell her.

“I would never say anything to him. I’m your girl. I’ve got your back,” she tells me. Fuck, this woman has become my best friend and has tried so hard to help me through it all.

“I know, but sometimes there are risks. I’ll message you when I get there to let you know I am safe,” I say and grab a paper from my purse. “When we stop, write your number down. I didn’t take my phone with me.”

The rest of the drive is quiet. My thoughts go through everything that just happened. How one moment I was sitting with a friend eating Chinese food and, the next, I was leaving the love of my life.

I know I may not be welcomed where I am going, but I have nowhere else to go.

When we get to the airport, Dani hands me a wad of cash, and I look at her with wide eyes. “What is this?”

She shrugs with a small smile. “Well, I know you better than you think. I asked my dad if I could keep “just in case” cash in my purse because I knew that, one day, you would need it. I had a feeling you would leave Viking sooner or later. I really hope you guys work it out because I’m going to miss the fuck out of you, but this cash was always intended for you.”

I don’t bother to wipe the tears that fall before pulling her into a tight hug. “You don’t know what this means to me.”

“The last time we got drunk together, you said you worried about leaving because you knew Viking would track you. From what you have told me, he is very protective of you and had multiple ways to track you down. Since us Old Ladies are always at risk of being kidnapped, I don’t blame him for ensuring he knew where you were at all times. I did, however, start planning a way for you to leave if you finally decided to. I figured you wouldn’t know how to explain having twenty thousand dollars cash to Viking if he ever found it, so I kept it and told Zane that it was for a friend. I’m pretty sure he knew it was for you, and he trusts me, so he left it alone,” she says after she pulls away.

“That’s too much. I only need a flight,” I say with a shake of my head.

“You don’t know that. For all you know, you may need a hotel, and you’ll need food. Even if you come back only using a thousand, that’s fine. If you use it all, that’s fine too. The money is yours to give you the break you need,” she says while putting the money into my purse and giving me the paper with her number on it.

“Call me or text me, day or night. I will answer. I will not tell Viking or anyone where you are until you are ready. If you ever need help, just text me the word, ‘tacos’ and we will come to you; no matter what it is you need,” she says. I give her a small smile that our emergency word is going to be “tacos.”

“I’ll send you my location as soon as I settle down. That way, you know where to come if I ever send you the word ‘tacos’,” I tell her.

I give her one last hug before leaving to purchase a ticket to the only other place I used to call home.