CHAPTER 3 FINN THOMPSON
FINN THOMPSON
Today is a bad brain day.
The nightmare I had last night has stayed with me all day, and I cannot seem to shake it. The blood. Ivy’s bruised face. The sound of her distressed crying when she finally woke up.
My fingers knot their way through my hair as I try to concentrate on planning a presentation for one of my classes, but it’s proving more than difficult. I itch to grab the nearest bottle of anything and down it. To push away these haunting memories and forget.
Forget everything.
And it pains me knowing I haven’t seen my sister in nine months. She moved away from Willows Bay because the pain of her past was too agonising, and I get it.
Home isn’t home without Ivy, and now I’m starting to think our relationship will never be the same again. Not because of what happened, but because I did something that is unforgivable, and I’ve still not found the courage to tell her, and that makes me a fucking coward.
A knock at my bedroom door thankfully stirs me away from my unpredictable thoughts. I glance up at Silas, who leans on the doorframe effortlessly, arms folded over his chest. “What?”
“Come on.” He beckons with his head. “It’s the final night of freshers, and we should be going out, not studying.”
I exhale through my nose. I thought he’d never ask. I’m up and out of my seat faster than I can blink, itching for that first pint.
The four of us head to the SU bar for a few early beers, which I sink far too easily, and when the alcohol starts to hit my system, I finally relax and let my earlier thoughts empty. Never have I known instant relief like the taste of a beer as it meets my lips.
“Shall we head into town?” Ronan suggests.
JJ downs the last of his beer. “Yeah, let’s get off campus.”
Ronan glances at me, and I shrug. “I’m happy to do whatever.”
Wherever there’s alcohol, I’m there.
When we arrive in town twenty minutes later, we go to our favourite spot, Lizzie’s. The boys grab a table, and I head to the bar for the first round of drinks. I lean on the counter and twist my head to find my eyes landing on familiar black hair.
I still for a moment when I recognise Maya as she stares up at a guy whose back is towards me. Her brows are pinched, and she sways. From the intensity of her bloodshot eyes, it’s obvious that she’s drunk.
I’ve seen Maya around campus, but I’ve only really nodded in her direction when we crossed paths. I told myself to stay away, and I’ve stuck to my word.
The guy she’s talking to grabs onto her waist, and she tries to pull away, her face twisting into a look of disgust. I move from the bar without hesitation and stroll towards them as her brown eyes flick to mine, and I recognise immediate relief.
“Hey,” I call out as he glances at me, clearly irritated that I’ve interrupted them. “You good, Maya?”
“Finn,” she whispers.
“Hey,” the guy says as he turns towards me, finally dropping Maya’s waist. “We’re talking here.”
I scowl and give him a look up and down. “Why are you putting your hands on her?”
“And who are you?”
“A friend.” I keep my eyes on him. “Who are you?”
“A friend,” he repeats, but I can hear the suggestive tone behind it.
The girl is intoxicated, and I don’t want him thinking he can take advantage of her. Asshole.
My brow quirks, and I look back at Maya, but she’s shaking her head. I clench my jaw and flick my eyes towards him. “I think you should walk away.”
He scoffs. “And why the hell should I listen to you?”
I step into him. “Because I fucking told you to.”
The guy is shorter than me, and I tower over him. He takes one look at my tightened jaw and blows out a breath. “Whatever, man,” he grumbles, clearly understanding the death sentence in my eyes. “Good luck, you’ll need it with that one. Total cocktease and clearly not worth it.”
I resist the urge to punch him for talking about her like that, but I don’t want to cause a scene and leave her vulnerable. When he walks away, I watch until he’s out of my eyeline before I turn back to Maya.
“Are you okay?” I ask with concern.
Maya sighs, her eyes almost rolling back. “H-he’s been so persistent, and he doesn’t get the message. I’m too nice to people.”
I frown and lean down an inch. “Where are your friends?”
“I don’t know,” she huffs before digging her phone out of her pocket. “And my phone’s dead.”
“You don’t know where they are?”
She shakes her head. “I-I think they left.”
“They left you here alone?”
My blood starts to boil as she shrugs. “I guess.” She chews on her lip. “I need to go home. I should probably start walking now.”
“Walking? You’re not walking home by yourself.”
Her brown eyes waver for a moment. “I can’t call anyone, my phone’s dead. I forgot to charge it before I came out. Silly me.”
I swipe a hand over my jaw. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Why?”
“To make sure you get back okay.”
“I’ll be okay walking. I like walking. Do you like walking?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I like walking, so I’ll walk you home.”
Maya blinks up at me. “You don’t need to do that, you’ve already saved me once. You can’t be my knight in shining armour twice. That’s just stupid,” she slurs.
“Watch me,” I say slowly.
She sucks in air. “But—”
“Come on.” I gesture with my hand. “Let’s go.”
Maya swallows. “Okay.”
I text JJ to tell him that I’m leaving to take Maya home when my phone vibrates immediately. I glance at it and roll my eyes. I could have guessed the response.
JJ:
The girl you said you’d stay away from?
But I’m not going to allow her to walk home alone, drunk or not.
The journey back to campus doesn’t take long and is mostly occupied with Maya telling me about her night and her so-called ‘friends’ who ditched her. I don’t think she’s paused to take a breath, but hopefully the walk has somewhat sobered her up.
When we reach her accommodation, she sways when she attempts to put the keycard in the door. I gently take it from her fingers. “Let me do it.”
“Thank you,” she murmurs. “Sorry, I’m such a mess.”
“It’s okay.”
I take her to her bedroom door as she slumps inside and throws herself down onto her bed, and then attempts to untie the laces of her boots but fails miserably.
“C-can you help me?”
“Sure.” I step inside her room.
I sink down to the floor and undo her shoes before neatly placing them against the wall. Maya sits up and stares down at me. “Just because you’re in my room doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you,” she blurts.
My eyes widen an inch at her blunt words. “For one, I’d never take advantage of you, and two, I didn’t walk you home for that reason.”
“Oh,” she whispers. “Well, that’s good to know. I’m a virgin, and I-I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
I stand up and shove my hands in my pockets, trying to ignore her last comment because it’s none of my business, and I cannot get involved with this girl.
“I’m gonna go now. Are you gonna be okay?”
Maya runs a hand through her long hair. “Yeah, I’m okay.” She smiles before it falls. “I think—” Her fingers splay along her stomach as her chest heaves. “I think I’m going to throw up.”
She stands on wobbly legs, and I quickly guide her to her en suite bathroom before she drops to her knees and throws up in the toilet bowl. I sweep back her hair and gently rub her back as she groans.
“It’s alright.” I attempt to soothe her. “I’ve got you.”
Maya sobs. “I’m such a mess.”
“The first year of university is usually a mess.”
“I-I don’t normally drink this much,” she cries. “Oh god.”
She pukes up some more, and I sit beside her until her stomach is empty. I watch as she falls onto her ass and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and shudders. It’s amazing how even in this state, she’s still incredibly beautiful.
A thought I should not be having right now.
“I really didn’t want you to see me like this.” She frowns, eyes falling sad.
I raise my hand to brush back her hair. “We’ve all been there, Maya. Don’t worry. I’ve been in some bad ways.”
“You have?”
“Yeah. Worse than this.”
Her lip twitches. “That’s good to know.”
“Sleep it off,” I say softly.
Maya’s heavy eyes flick between mine. “You’re a really good person.”
My heart clenches because she has no idea that I’m, in fact, the opposite.
“Trying to be,” I respond. After helping her brush her teeth, getting her some water and rolling her into bed, she looks up at me with hesitance. “What’s the matter?”
“Would it be weird if I asked you to stay?”
I run a hand through the back of my hair. “Do you want me to?”
Maya nods. “Please. I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I confess.
Her eyes flash with recognisable rejection, and it makes my stomach twist. “Please?” she whispers.
The way her lip trembles has me second-guessing all of my thoughts to stay away from her. How can I deny her when she looks at me with devastation in her expression?
“Okay,” I say eventually, because I want to make sure she’s okay. “I’ll camp out on the floor.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I think it would be best.”
She frowns but chooses not to press. “Okay.”
I lie on the floor with a pillow and blanket as I stare up at the bed. Her eyes are already closed, and her breathing is even. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. I stay until the morning before she wakes up again.
It’s the first time in a while I’ve not had to get blackout drunk to forget because in the last few hours I’ve been with her, my mind has been distracted, and I haven’t thought about my demons once.
5TH OCTOBER 2023
“How was your presentation?” JJ asks as he takes a bite of his apple.
I shake my head. “Honestly, I don’t even wanna talk about it.”
He pulls a face at me. “That bad?”
“Terrible, in fact.”
“I’m sorry, man.” He gives me a look of consolation, but it’s my own fault.
I shouldn’t have gone out and drunk myself stupid last night. My hangovers might be regular, but I’m still learning to deal with them. One text from my sister sent me off the rails, and I went straight for the only way I know how to cope.
JJ’s eyes float behind me, and he tilts his head. “Hey, isn’t that your fresher friend?”
I glance over my shoulder to find Maya and a few of her friends walking into the campus canteen. I haven’t seen her since the night she got drunk and I took her home. I woke up and left before she did, and I made sure to leave her a note in case she forgot and started to worry about what happened.
“Yeah,” I say as she takes a seat, glances around, and lands her eyes directly on mine.
Immediately, her cheeks start to darken, and she untucks her hair from her ears as if trying to hide. I stand from my seat and look back at JJ, who has a smug expression on his face.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” I say before heading to Maya’s table.
When she notices that I’m approaching, she stands up and purposely walks away from her friends, who are particularly interested in our interaction.
“Hey.” I smile.
Maya flashes me a timid look. “Hey,” she whispers. “Look, I’m so sorry about the other night. I’m honestly mortified and internally dying at the flashbacks. Of what I can piece together, anyway.”
“Don’t worry about it. It happens to the best of us.”
“God.” She presses her hand to her head and sighs. “I’m surprised you’re even talking to me right now.”
“Trust me, I’ve been worse,” I say lightly.
Maya’s lip wobbles. “Doubt it.”
“I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I had a hangover for about three days. I’m only just starting to feel normal.” She gives me a weak thumbs up.
I chuckle softly. “That’s what freshers week does to you.”
“I blame whoever made it two weeks long. What were they thinking?” She closes her eyes with a huff.
“You’re good, Maya. I promise.”
Her cheeks blossom again, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “Hey, so, I’ve already embarrassed the hell out of myself, what else do I have to lose?”
“Go on,” I encourage curiously.
Maya chews on her bottom lip. “Do you think I could get your number and we could hang out sometime? I owe you. And please don’t say I don’t, because I do, and it’ll make me feel better.
That’s if you want to, of course. If you don’t, that’s fine.
I get it.” She shuts her mouth, and I laugh softly, finding her rambling incredibly alluring.
If spending time with her means that I don’t have to think about all the other shit going on in my head, then I’ll take it.
Since alcohol, she’s the first thing I want to drown myself in.
And definitely not in a sexual way—especially after what she told me that night—but in a way that no one has ever made me feel before.
“Sure.” I pull out my phone. “Sounds good.”
Relief covers her face, and once we’ve swapped numbers, I head back to my table.
“Did you just get her number?” JJ eyes me with curiosity, and I avoid his gaze.
I sigh. “Yeah.”
“What happened to staying away?”
“I’m weak, clearly.”
JJ grins. “I knew I spotted a girlfriend on the horizon.”
“Shut up,” I grumble as he snorts.