Chapter 3
I fucked up, I heard her yell in pain and I went into autopilot to fix the problem. I forgot the rules, I touched her and now she’s freaking out. We may not have made a lot of progress over the past few months, but there've been little things that have made all the difference. She talks, not all that much, but enough. She smiles, and I’ve been getting the feeling just lately that she’s content with her life here.
I swear, the other day I heard her humming while she was changing the sheets on her bed.
I know how fragile she is, that anything around her could be a trigger, and what I just let happen could have set her right back.
She comes back out the bedroom in a pair of jeans and a tee, looking at me awkwardly through her lashes as she steps back in front of the stove.
“Look, Ev. I didn’t mean to?—”
“It’s fine, you were helping me.” She smiles.
“Yeah, but I forgot and I’m so?—”
“Please, don’t apologize, you were being kind. I’m okay, ” she assures me with a soft whisper that I want so desperately to believe.
We eat our dinner in silence, and as I watch her sip her soup from her spoon, I can’t help wondering what's going on in her head.
She’s clearly trying to be brave, and the thought of her not feeling safe here anymore is making me nervous.
“That was great.” I lift up both our bowls, taking them to the basin when we’re finished, and she quickly gets up from her chair and comes after me.
“No, I’ll clean these. You rest.” She snatches them off me frantically.
“I got it, darlin’, why don’t ya see if there's anythin’ decent on?” I nod my head toward the TV in the corner.
“Please, you need to let me do it.” She keeps a firm grip on the dishes, shocking me with her determination. Up until now, all I’ve seen from this girl is meekness.
“Everleigh, we have to?—”
“Why are you doing this? Breakfast this morning, now the dishes? It’s my job. I have to?—”
“Sweetheart,” I remind myself not to touch her when my hand automatically reaches out, it felt too good for those few seconds when I did it before and I hate having to retract it. “It’s not your job, and I ain’t tryin’ to do anythin’ to upset ya. I’m just helpin’ out. I wanted you to settle in right when you first came here. I was doin’ things your way, but it’s been six months now, ya gotta start comin’ around to another way of thinkin’.” I shake my head, tryin’ to explain it to her. “Around here, men value their women, they ain’t just cooks and dishwashers.” I smile at her as she stares up at me confused.
“But if I don’t do these things I don’t have a purpose, I’m just a burden to you.” Her pretty, blue eyes fill with tears and when one releases, I decide to test her boundaries. The night Dalton died she let me touch her, we never spoke about it after so she won’t have any idea how much it meant to me. Right now, I want to show her that she has a far greater purpose than she could ever know. Everleigh holds on to her breath when I slowly raise my thumb and gently stroke that tear away.
“You're no burden, Everleigh, and you have got a purpose. You make this old man very happy to come home every night, and don’t you forget it.” My voice comes out deep and groggy, I guess it’s because she makes me nervous. I feel such a strong pressure to get things right around her.
Her lips raise into a shy, little smile as if she likes the sound of what I just said.
“Well, how about you wash and I’ll dry?” she suggests.
“That sounds a helluva lot like a compromise.” I laugh as I toss her a dishtowel and roll up my sleeves.
I sit in my chair and pretend to be interested in what's on the TV. I love that even after all this time, Everleigh still stares at the thing as if it’s some kinda magical portal. Jimmer was right, here is a good place for her to get a taste of what the real world is like without being overwhelmed by it. Having the TV has helped her get a glimpse of what’s beyond the cabin walls and she’s always fascinated by whatever's on it.
“You like this show?” I ask, attempting to make conversation with her. The silences are never awkward, but tonight I swear I felt something shift between us. I’ve touched her twice and neither time did she flinch. It feels as if her barrier is coming down.
“I like it all, it's amazing. Yesterday I watched a documentary on mountain goats.” She smiles so brightly, that for just a second it would be easy to forget that she’s been through hell.
“Mountain goats.” I chuckle to myself. “You know you got a whole bunch of wildlife right outside your front door? We’re borderin’ Yellowstone National Park.”
She bites her lip nervously as she looks toward the wooden door she uses as her shield. Since she’s been here she’s barely stepped out onto the porch, and I know it’s because she’s scared of the great unknown she thinks is out there.
“Just the other day, me and Tate saw a golden eagle.”
“A golden eagle?” She moves to the edge of the couch, intrigued by what I’ve told her.
“Yep, you get all kindsa birds around here. Maybe one day we could take a ride and I’ll show ya?”
“On your horse?” She frowns.
“It’s the best way, no engine to scare anythin’ away. I promise there ain’t no feelin’ like takin’ a ride on a sunny day.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse before.” She shakes her head, looking embarrassed.
“Well, I think that's somethin’ we oughtta change.”
“Like you doing the dishes.” The smile on her face is different to before, it’s got a hint of mischief behind it that gets an instant reaction outta my dick.
“Like me doin’ the dishes.” I shake my head and sit back in my chair.
“What ya doin’ to that poor boy?” I question Tate and Finn when I see Hunter getting tossed off his saddle by Buck.
“Just havin’ a little fun, you said yaself it’s best for him to get thrown in at the deep end.”
“Hey now, whoooa now.” I step into the corral and take Buck’s reins. Holding him steady and giving Hunter a chance to get his breath back.
“Ya good?” I check, watching him readjust himself on the saddle.
Buck’s a good horse, but he’s got personality. You gotta have a whole lotta confidence for him to respect you.
“I’m great, boss, just learning the ropes.” Hunter leans forward, tapping Buck's neck enthusiastically, and when he throws his front legs up in the air, the boy clings around his neck for dear life.
“Get off the saddle.” I shake my head then scowl across at Finn and Tate, who are still looking amused with themselves. “Ain’t you pair got work to be gettin’ on with?” I scold ‘em before leading Buck back to the stable.
“Pay ‘em no mind, they were just havin’ some fun with ya,” I tell the kid as he follows me inside.
“It’s fine, boss, I get it. I’m new.” Hunter looks a little embarrassed but still determined. “I’ll get the hang of it, sir, I promise.”
“They teach ya how to saddle up?” I ask.
“Yeah, I can do that,” he assures me.
“Saddle up that stallion over there.” I nod my head over to the other side of the stable. “He’s calm, he’s gentle, he’s perfect to learn on.”
“On it, boss.” Hunter gets straight to work while I grab my tack and start saddling up JD.
I keep my eye on the boy for the best part of the day, he wasn’t lying when he said he can pick things up quickly, it’s barely past noon before he looks competent on the saddle.
I try not to be distracted by what happened last night, and how good it felt after all this time to touch Everleigh. There was definitely something between us, something I shouldn’t contemplate because it can't be real. I can’t get wrapped up in whatever that something might be. This girl knows no better, her only experiences come from the life she had back in that village. One day soon she’s gonna find herself. She’s gonna wanna move on and see what the world has to offer her. I made it this far in my life with my heart still intact, I ain’t about to let it break now.