Chapter 15
I can feel it happening, that thing I spent fifty years avoiding, is coming at me like a ten-ton truck.
Just looking at Everleigh hurts, she’s beyond beautiful, she’s beyond anything I’ve ever encountered in my life and the thought of those cult assholes taking something so precious from her makes me murderous.
Everleigh would have been a good mother, she’s caring and nurturing. She constantly puts other people's needs before her own, and it’s cruel that she’ll never have the chance to grow a child of her own inside her body.
She seems determined to prove to me that she belongs here and I wish it was as easy as that. I can’t take advantage of the submission that's been embedded into this girl. She needs proper help, and she needs to explore all the other options that are out there for her. I can see her getting better every day, and soon she’ll start believing in herself. Until then I’ll be the man who she clings to in her sleep, even if I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.
We manage to get out the yard without anyone speaking to us, and once we’re back in the truck, I drive toward the cabin, admiring the way she looks out the window as the wind blows through her hair. The thought of a girl as pretty as her being interested in me seems laughable.
I’ve never struggled to find female company and I’ve brought many women back to the bunk house, but never have I considered settling down with any of ‘em. I’ve never wanted more than a few hours of their attention, and I’ve certainly never been good at giving them any of mine.
With Everleigh it’s different, I could spend hours just looking at her. Every little thing she does fascinates me, even the way she’s started chewing on her hair when she’s reading one of Savannah's books. I love the way whatever it is she’s reading makes her blush. I love the way her hands feel when they touch me, and I love the idea of the man I want to be for her. There’s no denying what this is now, I’ve watched many men fall victim to it. Now I understand why Garrett never lets Maisie out of his sight, and why Wade went off the rails after Leia married that sick little Mason bastard. I get why Cole lost a part of himself when Aubrey died and how he found it again in Savannah, but that doesn’t make our stories the same. I can’t let myself drown in this, because there will come a time when I have to let her go.
I spend what’s left of the afternoon making the outhouse suitable to stable, both JD and the horse I’m bringing back here for Everleigh. This place has become my home now and it seems stupid not to have my horse with me. I like the flexibility of having JD close. What's the use of a cowboy without his horse?
Everleigh sits out on the porch reading her book and every time I glance over my shoulder and catch her watching me, she gets that same embarrassed look on her face that makes me wonder what the hell she’s reading about.
It’s baking hot so I have my shirt off, and the way her eyes keep looking over me feels kinda exposing. I like it, it makes me feel a lot less guilty about the way I look at her.
When I decide I’m done for the day I lift my shirt from the fence post, slinging it over my shoulder as I walk toward the cabin. When Everleigh sees me coming she immediately places down her book and stands up.
“You done?” she asks, almost seeming as skittish as that damn horse I just bought for her.
“For today. I'm gonna need more timber to get it finished. I can grab some tomorrow.”
“You look hot, do you want a glass of muscle… I mean water?” She shakes her head and looks up from my chest with fast-beating lashes and rosy cheeks.
“I’m good, I was just about to grab a shower.” I glance down to the book she’s reading and she quickly turns it over so I don’t see the half-naked guy on the front of it.
“I’ll just get back to my book.” She’s clearly trying to hide something from me and she looks fuckin’ adorable while doing it.
“Everleigh…” I wait until she’s sitting back down and when she looks at me with that smile still on her face, another chunk of my heart gives itself away. “Thank you for today. For sharin’ with me what happened to ya, I know it can’t have been easy.”
“It was easier than I thought it would be,” she admits, waiting for me to leave her before she buries her head back into the pages.
It takes some persuasion but Everleigh eventually allows me to take care of the cooking tonight, and watching her reaction to her first-ever corn dog was as hilarious as it was cute. I’m still smiling from it when we settle down in the living room and although her nose is still buried in that goddamn book, I can feel her eyes glance at me as I strum my guitar and hum to myself.
“Is it okay if I take a shower?” she asks, and I hate that after all this time she still feels as if she needs my permission.
“Of course.” I smile over at her, noticing that she places her book pages down on the couch before she gets up and heads for the bathroom. I let curiosity get the better of me when I immediately get up and reach for it. I make sure I keep one finger on the page she’s on as I flick back through what she’s been reading today.
My eyes widen at the words that are in front of me, the same words that have kept Everleigh so intrigued. Hell, even some of the bunkhouse boys would blush from the words that I’m reading.
Now that I got a sense of what's been keeping her so entertained, I quickly set the book back down exactly how I found it and retake my chair. I have to try my best to unsee the words I’ve just read because keeping my cock down around Everleigh is a hard enough task as it is.
She smiles at me shyly when she comes out the bathroom wearing just a towel, and as she scurries through to the bedroom to put on her nightdress my eyes glance back over to the book. I need to cool myself off, so I head outside to take a smoke.