Chapter Six
Ros was at home in her slippers on Wednesday evening staring at the flip chart she’d just completed when there was a buzz on her apartment entry system. It was Darla so she let her in and a few moments later there was a tentative tap on the door.
‘It’s open,’ called Ros.
‘I bring gifts,’ said Darla, waving a large bar of Cadbury’s chocolate. ‘Am I safe to come in or are you going to attack me with the egg whisk?’
‘That happened one time and it was an accident,’ said Ros.
‘Jury’s out,’ said Darla, shutting the door and joining her at the flip chart. She pointed at the page titled ‘Boyfriend Contract. Risk Assessment’. And the neat lists underneath. ‘But Cameron said you’ve not been in touch.’
‘Because this whole idea is a massive risk.’
‘All boyfriends are, to be fair.’
‘Not to the extent that they need a detailed control plan to reduce the risks. Although some of these are probably generic.’ She scanned her lists. ‘Anyway, I’m still ironing out key areas of the contract. And I’ve not completely decided if I’m going ahead with your quite frankly ridiculous idea.’ She kissed the top of Darla’s head. ‘Thank you. You’re a good friend. Completely nuts but a good friend.’
‘Would you say you were leaning more on the “let’s do this” side?’
‘Possibly. I did want to ask, is Cameron my only option? I wondered, as I’d be paying, whether maybe there were any other candidates.’
Darla tilted her head at Ros. ‘You should have said. I’m sure Ryan Reynolds would be up for it.’
For a moment Ros was buoyed until the penny dropped. ‘You’re joking.’
‘You think?’
‘Ryan Reynolds is happily married, so yes. I also know he’s way out of my league but I did see myself with someone a bit more...’ Ros couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t going to insult Darla’s friend and colleague.
‘I know Cameron’s a bit scruffy,’ Darla allowed. ‘Although to be fair when he’s working at the bar that is him at his smartest.’
Ros twitched slightly.
‘But he has a nice smile and your dad would be suspicious if you turned up with Ryan Reynolds,’ said Darla.
‘I guess. As he is the only option then I have a flip chart for you with lots of questions about Cameron. I don’t know anything about him. Is he trustworthy?’
‘Totally. And anything detailed you want to know you need to ask him. I don’t mean to be insensitive but...’ Darla scrunched her features up ‘...time isn’t on your side.’
‘I understand that but a business contract needs to be on a firm footing.’ Ros tapped the flip chart with her marker pen.
‘Firm footing yes. Clear mutual understanding of the requirements, agreed. But not a ninety-page countersigned document.’ Darla flopped down on the sofa. ‘Put the kettle on. I have crap to share.’
Ros did as Darla suggested and then moved to lean against the sofa and stare at the flip chart. ‘I think I’ve covered all bases but I’ll need to type it up.’
‘No, you don’t. You need to call Cameron and agree a price before he goes off the idea, and then... I don’t know, get him to come over and go through your flip charts, then you can introduce him to Barry. Sooner rather than... well, later.’ The way Darla said later had Ros’s attention. Documented detail was her comfort blanket. But right now she didn’t have time for that.
‘Perhaps we could both sign the flip charts,’ suggested Ros.
‘There you go. Decaffeinated tea please and a symp-athetic ear. If I ever sit for that dog again I will need a gas mask. It’s good to breathe fart-free air for a couple of hours.’
‘Tea coming right up,’ said Ros, keen to hear about Darla’s troubles and forget about her own.
Ros had almost cancelled her meeting with Cameron numerous times throughout Friday and had caught herself thinking about all the many things they would need to cover if they were to pull off the deception. There was easily enough to fill another flip chart. They had exchanged text messages and Cameron seemed very happy with the payment programme she had offered, which involved an initial sign-up fee, to make sure he was committed, and then weekly payments with an estimated duration of twelve weeks. Twelve weeks. On one hand she very much hoped her dad was going to be around a little longer; on the other, twelve weeks was a long time to fake being in a relationship.
Ros showered and changed into something casual and then thought that perhaps business attire might give a more formal feel; it was a meeting after all. She was putting on a shirt when the entry bell sounded. Cameron was early. She buzzed him in and hastily did up the buttons. Shirt and jeans would have to do.
‘Hiya,’ said Cameron shyly, slinking inside the apartment and closing the door before handing Ros a small bunch of yellow carnations. ‘I got you these.’
‘Thank you, that’s kind of you but unnecessary. It has made me think of something else to add to the list... expenses.’ She put the flowers down on the worktop and turned over three flip chart pages until she came to a free space. ‘We’ll need a process for you to claim back any valid expenditure.’
‘They’re just a gift,’ said Cameron.
Ros wasn’t sure what to say.
Cameron looked around. ‘I figured if you lived in Ocean Village it would be a smart pad but wow this is a gorgeous place you have.’
Ros was happy to take compliments about her home. The modern top-floor apartment with wrap-around balcony and views over the marina was her pride and joy. ‘Thank you.’
Cameron came to stand next to her and whistled through his teeth. ‘That is some list. I know you said you wanted to go over a few details but this is a whole workshop. I bet you don’t usually workshop your relationships.’ He laughed.
Ros sidled over to the flip chart pad and tore off a couple of pages, hastily folded them on her way to the recycling box. He didn’t need to know about the disastrous session with her last boyfriend.
‘Anyway I’d best get these in some water,’ she said, scanning Cameron as she picked up the flowers. He looked all studenty in his hoodie, ripped jeans and canvas pumps. ‘Would you like a drink?’
‘A beer would be great, thanks.’
‘I meant tea or coffee,’ said Ros.
‘Gotcha. Builder’s tea, two sugars please.’ There was an awkward silence while Ros made the drinks. It was beyond weird to have this virtual stranger in her home. She wasn’t blessed in the small-talk department as it was and this was stretching her skills.
‘Did you come far?’ she asked.
‘Portswood. I’m in a house share there.’
‘I remember my shared house. Awful, I don’t envy you going back to university. Master’s or PHD?’
‘It’s my first time at uni. I’m studying for a BSc in Computer Science.’
‘Oh,’ said Ros, not really knowing what else to say. ‘Anyway, shall we crack on?’ She passed him his tea.
‘Sure. Can I ask about your dad? His diagnosis is really tough on both of you.’
‘Thanks. It was a bit of a shock. Well, huge shock actually. He’d been fine. Just a bit tired. His GP sent him for a blood test and...’ Ros didn’t want to relive the series of appointments that had led them to the diagnosis.
‘Sorry.’
‘It’s fine.’ She lifted her chin. ‘What did you want to know?’
‘What’s his name?’
‘Barry.’
‘Is he in hospital or...’
‘He’s at home for now.’ She’d had some leaflets about care options but they were still in the kitchen drawer, although she knew she’d have to face them at some stage.
‘That’s good. And what’s he like?’
Ros had a think. ‘He’s kind and generous. The sort of person you know will do everything they can for you. He retired early a couple of years ago but until then he worked hard. He ran his own business and he brought me up single-handed.’ Ros had to take a moment to keep her emotions in check.
‘He did a good job,’ said Cameron. ‘With you, I mean.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Anything else?’ he asked.
‘He makes the best Yorkshire puddings,’ she said. ‘Please can we turn our focus to you? We have a lot to cover.’
‘Sure. You’ve probably checked if I’ve got a criminal record.’ Ros let out a nervous laugh. ‘Although I’m surprised you still invited me over.’ Oh heavens, thought Ros. What on earth had he done? She would berate Darla later for letting a criminal into her home. Cameron waved a hand in front of her to get her attention. ‘I’m joking. I’ve never even had a speeding fine but that’s because I don’t have a car.’ Cameron chuckled. Ros found she was staring at him. Why would someone joke about being a criminal? She was baffled by this man. ‘Well, clearly I’m not as funny as I thought I was. What else do you want to know about me?’
‘I’ve made a list,’ said Ros, making a mental note to see how to find out about people’s criminal records, just in case.
Cameron helped Ros move the flip chart stand nearer to the table in the dining area and she went back to the first page, which had a dividing line with areas of interest on the left and space on the right for Ros to fill in the answers. ‘Your full name is Cameron...’
‘Cameron Alfred DeFelice.’
Was it too much to ask that he had a simple name? ‘DeFelice. Is that hyphenated?’
‘Nope. Just plain old DeFelice. Gran did some digging on the internet and we have Italian roots.’
‘How interesting,’ said Ros, adding the names to the chart as well as his initials. ‘C-A-D. Cad. Hmm. That doesn’t bode well for a suitor. Maybe we should change your surname.’ She said it more to herself than Cameron.
‘I don’t think we should overcomplicate things. Maybe not change things unless we really have to. It’s more likely I’ll forget and slip up.’
Ros spun around. ‘Do you have memory issues?’
Cameron chuckled. ‘No, but I’ve seen your list and I think there might be a lot to remember.’
They filled in some basic information about his family. ‘Tell me about your family,’ said Cameron, taking a sip from his mug. ‘Nice tea by the way. You make a great cuppa.’
Ros was surprised by the compliment. ‘Thank you. I don’t think we need to go into any great detail about me. Dad will be interested in you.’
‘Yeah, but I don’t want to get caught out. If we’re in a relationship there’s stuff I should know like...’ He looked to the ceiling as he thought. ‘What was your first pet’s name?’
‘I’ll let you know when I get one,’ replied Ros.
His eyes widened in surprise. ‘What? You’ve never had a pet?’
‘No.’
Cameron remained shocked. ‘Not even a goldfish or a hamster when you were a kid?’
‘No. Dad was busy with the business and I don’t really like to see animals in cages.’
‘Fair enough. My first pet was a rabbit called Tango because it was an orangey colour... like the drink,’ he explained.
‘Yes, I understand.’ She added the info at the bottom of the page, unsure it was of any use at all.
‘What’s Ros short for?’
Ros felt her shoulders tense. ‘It’s Rosanna but nobody calls me that.’ Not anymore, she added in her head.
‘Rosanna’s a beautiful name.’
‘Just Ros, please.’
‘Sure thing. And your surname?’
There was such a lot they needed to know about each other. Ros was beginning to realise that she needed to start another flip chart.
Two hours in and they were on their third round of drinks and as Cameron was hungry he’d opened a packet of Hula Hoops he had in his bag.
‘Right. Let’s move on to jobs. I’m a risk and compliance manager—’
‘Tell me about that,’ he said, leaning forwards and looking interested.
‘I analyse any potential risks to the company. For example if a project is initiated I assess any risks of the change and work with the project manager to ensure they are properly managed, and there are a number of ways to do that, which I won’t bore you with. And I also ensure that the company is compliant with any necessary business-as-usual regulations.’
‘Sounds like a lot of responsibility,’ he said, pulling his hand out of the crisp packet with a Hula Hoop on each finger.
Ros was transfixed as he ate them one at a time off his fingertips. ‘Do you need to eat those like that?’
‘What?’
‘Children eat them like that.’
‘Kids know where it’s at. Way more fun to eat them off your fingers. Try,’ he said, offering her the packet.
‘No, thank you. Children are messy,’ said Ros, failing to stop her feelings showing on her face.
Cameron looked shocked. ‘You don’t like kids?’
‘Children can be lovely but they make so much mess.’ Ros tried to keep her expression neutral.
‘But that’s a minor thing. Do you not want to have kids?’
That was a serious question she’d not been expecting. ‘It’s not that I don’t want them. I just think you need to have a lot of other factors in place first. And they’re a huge responsibility. They’re a full-time thing. You can’t take time off or change your mind on a whim. Children are a long-term commitment.’ Something her mother didn’t seem to have grasped.
‘I agree and I’m well up for it,’ said Cameron.
‘But you’re a student.’
‘I won’t always be a student and with the right person I’d love to be a dad. I was playing mummies and daddies with Gina, at preschool. I always assumed I’d have kids.’
‘You seem very sure about that.’
‘I am. I had a happy home. I can’t imagine not building a family of my own. And anyway my mum would have something to say if I didn’t make her a grandma.’
‘Erm. We’ve gone off track. Where were we? Jobs. We’ve covered my job. Let’s agree on a job for you.’
Cameron smiled. ‘I’m a barman at the cocktail bar and I do some volunteering at a charity shop, which is great because I get first dibs on stuff.’ He pulled at his Scooby-Doo T-shirt. ‘One pound fifty. Let me know your size and I can look out for stuff for you.’
Ros couldn’t hide her alarm at the thought of childish T-shirts. ‘No, thank you. And what I meant by a job was what job we’re we going to tell my dad that you do.’
‘I don’t follow.’
‘I can hardly say you’re a mature student.’
‘Why not?’ Cameron made a big show of sucking a Hula Hoop off his little finger.
‘Because this has to be believable. I did cover that at the start. He needs to be convinced that we are in a relationship.’
Cameron scrunched up the empty crisp packet, leaned back and considered her. She felt a little vulnerable under his gaze. ‘And a student stroke part-time barman is below you?’
‘No. Not exactly. But usually I’d not... It’s just that I would normally be looking for someone who um...’ She was running out of steam.
‘It’s okay, I’m not offended. I’ve been in this exact position before with me and Gina. Couples need to be equally balanced. But as I’m working towards a good career I think that goes in my favour and keeping it simple is better.’
‘I’d be more comfortable if it was a role with a little more status. Is that all right? It’s only that I don’t want Dad to think I’m with someone who will sponge off me. Sorry, that sounded awful. No offence.’
‘None taken. I’m hopefully going to be working in computing so you could say that if you like. I can field any questions about computers.’
‘Great. Let’s go with software engineer. That sounds credible and Dad won’t ask any questions as he’s not great with technology.’ Ros merrily added this to the flip chart.
Cameron covered his mouth as he yawned. ‘I’m sorry – I’m knackered. Any chance we can finish this off another time?’
‘But I wanted to introduce you to Dad on Sunday.’ Ros was feeling panicked they’d only covered half of page two.
‘That’s still cool. I’m free tomorrow morning. Let’s catch up then, yeah?’
Ros could see he was tired as he stifled another yawn so she reluctantly agreed. ‘Okay. What sort of time? I can do early.’
He pulled a face. ‘How about eleven o’clock? We could grab a coffee at Costa on the High Street.’
‘I’m not sure about meeting in public,’ said Ros. ‘It feels a little premature.’
‘Is coffee more of a third date thing?’ he asked with a smile.
‘I’m not sure what you mean but I’ll meet you as arranged.’
Cameron got to his feet. ‘It’s been nice getting to know you, Ros.’
Could she say the same? It was merely a process she had to go through. ‘Thank you, Cameron. I do appreciate what you’re doing.’
‘And I really appreciate the cash. And thanks for the tea. Take care. See you in the morning.’ He stood in front of her as if waiting for something. ‘Should we hug or kiss when we say goodbye?’
‘No, I don’t think so,’ said Ros, heat rising up her neck at the discomfort.
‘I meant when we’re in couple mode,’ he said.
‘I see.’ She was greatly relieved. ‘I’ll think about it and let you know.’
‘Cool,’ he said and he made for the door. ‘Night, Ros. Take care.’ As the door clicked shut Ros breathed a huge sigh of relief.