Chapter Eleven
Darla usually had to be up early for her cleaning job that started at six thirty in the middle of Southampton but she did object to a five o’clock wake-up call on a rare day off midweek. She pulled the duvet over her head but the rooster was in full voice. A grumpy Darla stomped downstairs and put the kettle on. She moved the pile of library books she’d picked up to one side and put Keeping Chickens For Dummies on the bottom just in case Elliott stopped by. After a coffee and a long hot bath in the biggest bath she’d ever been in she felt slightly more human. She filled her jugs and went out to feed the animals. She did her usual trick of chucking the food and running. As she bolted from the goat pen and only narrowly missed a pair of horns up her bum she almost ran straight into Elliott.
‘Blimey, you gave me a start. Good morning,’ she said.
‘What are you doing?’ Elliott pointed at the goats who were merrily munching through the food.
‘Feeding the animals.’
‘They don’t eat that,’ said Elliott.
Darla waved a jug at the greedy goats. ‘I think that proves that they do.’
‘I mean they’re not meant to be eating wheat.’
Darla was puzzled. She figured they’d only eat what they liked. ‘Who eats the wheat then?’
‘The geese, but you have to put it in the bucket of water?’
Was he winding her up? This was all sounding a bit complicated and she’d not read any of this in her library books although she had mainly been looking at the pictures and trying to skim-read them. They weren’t the most riveting reads. ‘Why would I put their food in water?’
‘It stops the rats and mice eating it.’
‘Ahh that’s clever. Eek, rats?’ Darla hopped from one foot to the other whilst scanning the ground for any sign of vermin.
Elliott exhaled heavily. She got the feeling he was despairing with her. ‘They mainly emerge at dusk and they move about most at night-time.’
Darla gave an elaborate shudder. ‘Are there many of them?’ But she immediately held up her palm, making Elliott pull his head back. ‘Don’t tell me – I don’t want to know.’ She took a moment to calm herself. ‘Okay. I put the wheat in the water for the geese. What should I feed the ducks?’
‘They eat the pellets.’
‘Yay, I got something right.’ She carried on quickly before Elliott pointed out that she’d actually given all the animals some of the pellets. ‘And the goats. What should I feed them?’
Elliott was scratching his head. ‘Do you know anything about animals?’
‘Rude. And yes, I am well versed in many types of animals but mainly the domesticated kind.’
Elliott smirked. ‘These are domesticated.’
Darla threw up her arms. ‘I know you’re winding me up. I won’t be letting them inside the house. I’m not that daft.’ She lifted her chin. ‘Back to the goats, what do they eat?’
‘Hay,’ he said and he strolled away.
Hay ? ‘Hang on!’ she called and she bounded after him. ‘I don’t have much hay.’ She’d used most of it for beds for the chickens. How was she to know it was goat food? ‘I’m expecting a food delivery sometime next week but those guys are going to need some to tide them over.’
Elliott stopped walking. ‘And?’
‘And... as my lovely new neighbour I thought you might be able to help me out.’ Darla beamed him her best smile.
Elliott harrumphed. ‘Hay doesn’t come free you know.’
‘I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.’
Elliott looked shocked and then Darla realised her mistake. ‘Oh no, no, no. I wasn’t offering sex in exchange for hay.’ Elliott’s eyebrows shot up even higher. ‘I wasn’t meaning to offer sex at all. I meant eggs. I have lots of eggs. Not my eggs. Chickens’ eggs! The hens are like machines. I’ll swap eggs for hay. Deal?’ She held her hand out and he glared at it.
‘Fine.’ He shook her hand briskly and stomped off.
‘Bye, Elliott. Lovely to see you again,’ she called after him but she got no reply. She’d wear him down eventually; she always did.
***
The kiss had thrown Ros far more than she liked to admit. Although it made more sense when she realised her dad had walked into the kitchen behind her and if Cameron hadn’t stopped her talking she could well have given the game away. With hindsight she felt there may have been a number of other options available to Cameron rather than resorting to close personal contact. However, what she hadn’t banked on was her whole body reacting to his kiss. It hadn’t lasted long but wow, had it made a big impression. But then, she’d not kissed anyone for over a year so it was to be expected. Kissing was a very intimate thing and an area they had not fully thought through. There was only one way to solve it: get Cameron over for another workshop. They had to work around his shifts and university studies so they had agreed that Thursday evening was best for them both.
First, she had to get through the follow-up to the team awayday. Ros put on a smile and joined her team in one of the company breakout rooms where their yacht captain from the awayday was already waiting.
‘Welcome, Ros, nice to see you’ve fully dried out,’ he said.
‘Yes, thank you.’ Ros had heard most of the jokes since they’d returned to work.
Alastair strode in and broke into a grin as soon as he spotted Ros, which was not something she was used to. Rarely did he smile in her presence. ‘How’s the little mermaid today?’
‘Fine thanks. And you are hilarious as always, Alastair.’ Ros checked her watch. There was still two minutes until the meeting officially started.
The captain did some more unnecessary introductions before revealing a flip chart. She liked that he was prepared; it instantly settled Ros. She scanned the flip chart; it bore no resemblance to what she’d experienced. She raised her hand. ‘Yes, Ros.’
‘Sorry, is that the right list?’ she asked.
It made the captain have a quick look at the sheet. ‘Yep. Let’s quickly run through it. This is everything we covered on the awayday and what I’m sure you’ve all been applying in the office.’ There were a few shared guilty looks. Ros remained utterly confused. The captain read out the list. ‘Connecting on a personal level which we did on the day as part of the initial icebreaker. Uniting around a common purpose.’ Ros must have been frowning because the captain looked straight at her. ‘Which was when we came together to crew the yacht.’
‘Oh I see. Yes,’ said Ros.
‘Gaining new skills,’ he continued.
‘Like walking on water,’ said Alistair. This time everyone laughed.
Ros acknowledged the joke with a smile and a nod. She could see it was funny from their perspective.
‘Improved communication,’ said the captain. ‘Coming together as a cohesive team and celebrating success.’
Sonia was scribbling feverishly in her notebook.
‘Sorry,’ said Ros, holding up a finger. ‘Did I miss the last three things?’
‘Err.’ The captain seemed unsure as to whether Ros was being serious or not. ‘I only think you missed a little of the celebrations because you were getting dry.’
‘Oh.’ Ros didn’t feel she could press him further; there was clearly something she was missing because she didn’t feel they had achieved very much at all – not on the awayday or since.
‘This is our opportunity to give some feedback to each other about what we think individuals do well, where we feel they have improved and where we’ve identified opportunities for growth in the future. Who wants to go first?’
Ros had to fight hard not to let her disdain show. Sadly the company was probably paying a lot of money for this sort of rubbish.
‘I’ll go first,’ said Alistair. ‘Mike, I thought your knot work was excellent. Sonia, you got better once I’d explained which rope did what. And, Ros, maybe learn to swim.’
‘I didn’t mean on the awayday so that’s not exactly—’ began the captain but Ros was already responding.
‘Fine,’ said Ros. ‘Sonia, you were positive even when facing a day of mansplaining. Mike, things got much better once you’d stopped posing like a Bond girl. And, Alastair, why don’t you try not being a complete arse for once?’ She turned to the captain. ‘How did I do?’ But as the man had his head in his hands she felt that communicated his answer quite well.
Even Ros wasn’t in the mood for another flip chart session but needs must. The first outing for Cameron and Ros as a pretend couple had not been great. She wouldn’t go as far as to say it’d been a complete disaster but, in the captain’s words, there was room for growth. She opened the door on Thursday evening to a yawning Cameron.
‘I won’t keep you late,’ she said.
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just last night they had games night at my digs.’
‘Ooh what sort of games?’
‘Drinking ones mainly,’ said Cameron. ‘Which rapidly got out of hand, ending in a food fight just after three this morning. So I’m a bit done in.’
‘That’s not on.’
‘Tell me about it,’ he said, flopping onto the sofa. ‘But do I gather you like games?’
‘Bridge. Do you play?’
‘Nah. I’m more of an Uno fan but I’m a demon at strip Jack naked.’
Ros pulled her chin in. ‘I definitely don’t play strip poker or the like.’
Cameron laughed. ‘No clothes are removed. It’s just a card game. Maybe I’ll show you one day.’
‘Maybe. Anyway, can I get you a drink? I did get some beer in if you’d like one but as I don’t drink it myself I have no clue if it’s any good, but I have seen Darla drink this brand.’
‘That’s really kind of you, Ros. Yeah, I’d love a beer.’
‘Excellent.’ She was delighted that he seemed genuinely pleased.
She popped the cap off and brought it to him on the sofa. ‘Scrabble,’ she said.
‘Thanks, and what now?’
‘I like a game of Scrabble. I don’t have a board here but Dad has one. We play at Christmas and Easter sometimes.’
‘Cool. I like Scrabble too.’ They smiled at each other.
‘I’ll add it to the list,’ said Ros. She turned over a new flip chart with the header ‘Things We Have In Common or Both Like’. Currently all that was listed was cricket.
‘I know you’re going to disagree but I think there was a lot about Sunday that went well.’
Ros stared at him. ‘For example?’ she prompted.
Cameron leaned forward. ‘Barry bought the fact that we were a couple. I know I’m currently not his ideal son-in-law but he didn’t suspect a scam.’
‘Please don’t call it a scam,’ said Ros, feeling the punch of guilt to her gut. ‘He may have accepted that we were a couple but if he can’t understand what I see in you then he’s going to get suspicious. Which is why...’ Ros tapped the flip chart; she needed to keep them on track.
‘I’ve had an idea,’ he said. ‘What if I took your dad out for a beer? Have a man-to-man chat. Say that I get that I might not be his first choice but I want to do whatever I can to make him like me.’ Cameron grinned at her, clearly pleased with his suggestion.
‘Then he’d definitely know you have something to hide,’ said Ros. ‘How about we have a list of subjects that we feel are safe to discuss and agree exactly what we can and can’t say about them?’
Cameron swigged his beer. ‘Sounds like a bundle of fun.’
‘Sarcasm is not helpful,’ said Ros.
They were interrupted by a buzz on the entry system. Ros paused for a moment; she wasn’t expecting anyone. It buzzed again. ‘Shall I get that?’ asked Cameron. Already reaching for the phone. ‘Hallo,’ he said.
Ros strode across the room but Cameron stood up, making it difficult for her to grab it off him. ‘Barry! We were just talking about you,’ said Cameron. Then completely unnecessarily he mouthed to Ros that it was her dad. ‘Come on up,’ he said into the receiver as he pressed the entry button.
‘Buggeration,’ said Ros. ‘Hide the flip chart. I’ll stall him.’
‘On it,’ said Cameron.
Ros was sweating. She did not need this level of stress. There was a tap on her door. She took a deep breath and checked over her shoulder. The flip chart was gone and so was Cameron. Ros opened the door and was immediately assaulted by Gazza who was over the moon to find Ros on the other side of the door. He yelped his excitement as his claws trashed her tights in one easy move.
‘Dad, hello. This is a nice surprise,’ she said, kissing him on the cheek.
‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’ asked Barry.
‘Of course not,’ said Ros, shutting the door and turning around to find Cameron walking in whilst pulling his T-shirt over his head as if he was getting dressed. She felt like she was intruding as she was suddenly presented with his bare torso but she couldn’t look away. Horror was keeping her fixed in position. What on earth would her dad think? This was a nightmare.
‘No worries, Barry,’ said Cameron, checking his flies were done up. ‘It’s great to see you again.’ He put his hand out to shake and belatedly Barry shook it. ‘Hey, buddy, how are you?’ said Cameron, addressing Gazza.
‘What’s wrong?’ asked Ros, now realising that this was an unplanned visit and Barry had brought the dog.
‘Nothing’s wrong. I just need a favour as something has come up last minute.’
‘What is it?’ asked Ros.
‘Did you want a beer?’ asked Cameron, picking up his bottle.
‘Er no thanks. I wasn’t going to stop. The hospital want me to pop in first thing tomorrow and stay overnight. I know it’s short notice but I wondered if you could have Gazza?’
‘Of course,’ said Cameron before Ros had had a chance to process the information. ‘We’d love to have him.’
‘Why do you need to go to hospital all day and overnight?’ asked Ros, instantly concerned by what appeared to be an unplanned appointment.
‘It’s routine. They’re just double-checking and moni-toring a few things. Absolutely nothing to worry about. Well, nothing more to worry about,’ said Barry with a weak smile. He glanced at Cameron. ‘I take it he knows.’
‘He does,’ said Ros.
‘And I was very sorry to hear about your condition,’ said Cameron, snaking an arm around Ros’s waist and making her freeze. ‘And I’m here to support both of you in any way I can.’
‘Thanks,’ said Barry. ‘That means a lot.’ He turned his attention back to Ros. ‘So is it okay to leave Gazza with you until Saturday?’
Ros knew she’d failed to stop the alarm showing on her face. ‘Er, well, he’ll need food and bowls and—’
Barry held up a carrier bag. ‘I brought all he needs. His blanket is in here. He’ll sleep on that wherever you put it. And I put a toy in but not a ball.’
Gazza spun around to stare at Barry. ‘Great,’ said Cameron, taking the lead and bag from Barry. ‘He’ll be fine with us,. You’ve nothing to worry about.’
‘Shall I pick him up sometime on Saturday?’ asked Barry.
‘Let me know when you’re home and settled and I’ll bring him back then. You might be tired if the hospital have been poking and prodding you.’
‘Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,’ said Barry, giving her a hug. ‘Thanks, I really appreciate it.’ He patted Gazza. ‘You be a good boy, won’t you?’
‘He’ll be just fine,’ said Cameron. ‘You leave it to us.’
Ros got herself a glass of water while she counted in her head how long she thought it would take for her dad to leave the building. She’d not felt this out of control since her mother left. Ros wasn’t good at trusting people or letting them take the lead. She’d found it hard to make friends at school. She was always the serious and slightly sad little girl who questioned others’ motives. The truth was she couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be friends with her if even her own mother couldn’t be bothered to stick around long enough to build a relationship. And now here she was, thrown into one that had to look on the surface like it was perfect and she had no yardstick to measure that by.
‘What the hell was that, Cameron? You can’t just improvise.’
He seemed wrong-footed. ‘Surely you weren’t going to say no to having the dog?’
‘What? Of course I wasn’t. Although...’ She watched as the little dog jumped across her expensive sofa and skidded on her highly polished wooden floor. ‘No, of course not. I meant the stripper routine.’
Cameron grinned. ‘You see now, that made it believable.’
‘Believable. Now he thinks we’re having sex.’ Ros was mortified and feared her dad would be feeling the same way.
‘Yeah. That would be kind of normal if we’d been dating for over two months.’
‘Would it? I suppose so. But still.’ She shuddered. ‘Eeew!’ she said with feeling.
‘Jeez, thanks. You know how to massage a guy’s ego.’
‘Oh, no offence. It’s the idea of my dad thinking about us...’ There was the shudder again. ‘Not the thought of sex with you. Not that I have thought about sex with you because I obviously haven’t. But I’m sure it’s very nice.’
‘Nice?’ Cameron tipped his head.
‘Are you after a greater compliment than nice for imagined sex?’
‘Er yes, I am.’
‘Really, this is silly,’ said Ros.
Cameron folded his arms.
Ros could feel her cheeks heating up as an image of Cameron’s torso flashed into her mind. ‘I’m sure you’re stupendous.’
Cameron stuck out his lip and nodded. ‘Stupendous I will accept.’ His phone beeped. ‘Arse,’ he said. ‘Sorry, that’s a reminder about some uni work I need to do. It’s a group thing and I’ve not chased the others. I’d better shoot.’ He downed his beer.
‘Hang on,’ said Ros. ‘You’re not leaving me with him.’ She pointed at Gazza who groaned and trotted after Cameron as if repeating Ros’s sentiments.
‘Were you expecting me to stay the night? Because I don’t think we’ve covered that on the flip charts.’
‘Stop being silly. I just thought you’d maybe entertain him for a bit.’
‘Ros, you’re a grown woman. You can handle anything and anyone. Including Gazza.’ He went to kiss her cheek and she froze. ‘We need to normalise this. Okay?’
She closed her eyes and took a breath. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right. Go ahead.’
He leaned forward and Ros tried very hard not to pull her chin into her chest. Cameron kissed her briefly on the cheek. ‘See, not so bad. Some might even say stupendous.’
Ros smiled despite herself. ‘We need to fill in some blanks.’
‘Leave it with me, I’ll think of something.’ He crouched down at the door as Gazza ran to him. ‘Now you need to be nice and try to bond. That means no barking, no chewing and no farting. Got it? You too, Gazza,’ he said with a wink at Ros as he left.
Gazza spun around and stared at Ros. ‘I know, but we’ll just have to make the best of it. Okay?’ Gazza barked and Ros jumped. ‘I very much hope that was a yes.’