CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It had been an emotional couple of weeks, Gretta acknowledged, beginning with discovering Mr Butler collapsed on the floor and ending with hugs and tears with her family.
She’d felt wrung out for a while after confiding to Taylor how awful her relationship with Landon had been, followed by having to explain it all again to her mum and dad. Her dad, bless him, had threatened to dig out his old boxing gloves and ‘teach Landon a lesson he wouldn’t forget’ and had had to be restrained by her mum, but eventually they’d all agreed that Gretta should put it behind her and concentrate on the future.
So that’s what she was trying to do.
She’d already made a good start in that she had a place of her own in Picklewick and a job she enjoyed (although her father wasn’t entirely convinced that being a virtual assistant was a ‘proper’ job). Admittedly, she didn’t have a social life, and a romantic relationship wasn’t on the cards yet, but—
Or was it? she wondered, as yet another image of Jakob flashed across her mind.
She kept thinking about him, wondering how he was, what he was doing. And she also kept thinking about that kiss, and his declaration that he hadn’t been sorry. Then there was his strange behaviour on the day of Mr Butler’s funeral, and she wished she knew what had spooked him.
Although she’d not known him long, Gretta missed him. She was also still missing Bertie, and she couldn’t believe how much of an impact the dog had made on her life in such a short time. She’d hoped (assumed) that she’d get used to not having him around, but if anything, she felt his absence more keenly than ever. And with each passing day, the thought of fostering a dog became more appealing.
She’d been able to give Bertie a loving home for the short time she’d had him, so why couldn’t she open her home to another dog in desperate need, especially since she now had a bit more experience. And Jakob. She could always ask Jakob for advice.
There was one thing she needed to be sure of, though – that she would be doing this for the dogs and not for herself, that she wasn’t doing it so that she’d see more of Jakob.
If she took him out of the equation, would she still be as keen to foster?
When she arrived at the conclusion that she would, she knew what she had to do. She’d sleep on it tonight and if she still felt the same in the morning, she’d pay The Forever Home on Muddypuddle Lane a visit.
Despite knowing that Clare couldn’t contact him now that he’d blocked her, Jakob had been on pins since the day of Mr Butler’s funeral. And because he didn’t want to risk bumping into her, he stayed away from Thornbury’s town centre or the supermarket, preferring to drop into Picklewick on the way home from work if he needed anything.
He also secretly hoped he might spot Gretta on the high street, but he’d not even caught a fleeting glimpse. Mind you, he probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind to see her again. Clare being back on the scene, had reopened old wounds and brought long-buried emotions to the surface.
He liked Gretta enormously, and he fancied her even more, but he was too scared to take it further.
Jakob was in the middle of hosing down the patio at the rear of his bungalow when he paused, his arm dropping to his side, water cascading over his boots. Stan whined, his tail waving as he gave Jakob a pleading look. The retriever adored water and loved nothing more than to launch himself repeatedly through the spray. Ripley barked at it, as though the hosepipe was an incredibly long and dangerous snake that spat water, while Trixie sat on the wooden bench, keeping her paws dry as she watched the proceedings.
The little dog had come a long way since Jakob had started fostering her and was now happier and more confident. He’d miss her when she found her forever home.
But he’d paused, not because Trixie would leave him one day, but because it suddenly struck him that he was lonely. He loved his dogs with all his heart and then some, and he could never imagine being without a canine companion in his life; however, since he’d met Gretta, he’d found himself enjoying her company more and more. And now that she was no longer around, he’d come to realise just how much. But was he feeling lonely enough to launch himself into another relationship?
Opening his heart again was risky, fraught with danger, and even now, he feared he might still have feelings for Clare. If she hadn’t returned to Thornbury maybe he would have had the courage to ask Gretta out. But Clare had, and until he was clear in his mind that he was over her, he couldn’t contemplate being with anyone else. Not even someone as lovely as Gretta. Especially since she hadn’t seemed as moved by their kiss as he’d been.
A boop on his leg from Stan reminded him that he was supposed to be cleaning up his backyard, although the cleaning had mostly all been done, and it was now playtime for the pooches, so he began spraying water around again.
The dogs heard his visitor arrive before he did. Their body language alerted him. Both dogs had frozen, staring towards the side gate, their ears pricked, their heads cocked. Even Trixie was on alert, and when the sound of someone knocking on the front door reached them, all three sprang into action, dashing to the back door hoping to be allowed in to greet whoever it was. They knew better than to bark, but a visitor always caused a kerfuffle.
Jakob wasn’t expecting anyone, and he knew his parents were busy today so it couldn’t possibly be them. It was probably a delivery driver with a parcel for a neighbour, chancing his arm that someone could take it in. Jakob didn’t usually mind, but his boots were wet, as were the dog’s paws, and he didn’t want water tracked through the house, so he went to the side gate instead and peered through it.
A car he didn’t recognise was parked on the road, partially blocking his drive.
With a sigh, he thought he should go see who it was, and his hand was on the latch when he heard a woman call, ‘Jakob? Are you there?’
His stomach dropped. He knew that voice.
It was Clare .
She knocked again, rattling the letterbox, and slowly, quietly, he backed away from the gate, then clicked his fingers and gestured for the dogs to come to heel.
Stan obeyed immediately, but Ripley took another click before he did as he was told. Trixie just looked flummoxed.
Jakob shrank against the wall, despite knowing that Clare couldn’t possibly see him, and waited with bated breath, praying she would leave before one of the dogs gave him away.
When she finally went, he let out a shaky sigh and unpeeled himself from the wall, his heart thudding.
He was going to have to speak to her eventually, he realised, but not yet. He didn’t think he could face her just yet.
The following morning Gretta felt the same as she had yesterday. She hadn’t changed her mind: she still wanted to foster a dog. So she showered, got dressed (taking a little more care with her appearance than usual) and headed out the door.
She wasn’t expecting to bring a dog home with her today, but if she could start the ball rolling (she wasn’t entirely sure what that would entail) it would be something.
The morning was warm for the time of year, with blue skies and fluffy clouds. It felt good to be out, even if she was in the car. It would have been a perfect day to take a dog for a walk, if only she had one.
Feeling hopeful that the situation would be rectified soon (although she had a feeling no dog could replace Bertie in her heart) Gretta felt happier than she had in a while.
It had taken her longer than it should have done to get to this point after she’d walked out on Landon, but she was here now, and as far as she was concerned things could only get better. She’d reconciled with her family, and now realised that she was loved and valued, she had her own home, a job she loved, a gorgeous cat ( up yours, Landon!), and she was about to see a man who was beginning to mean a lot to her.
Hang on, shouldn’t that last bit be about to foster a dog ? Because that was the reason she was trundling up Muddypuddle Lane right now, wasn’t it? Okay, one of the reasons. The main reason, obviously. It would be a bonus if she got to see Jakob. Hopefully it wasn’t his day off. Or he wasn’t out walking a dog, or taking one to the vet, or…
Let’s face it, she said to herself, she was going to be seriously disappointed if he wasn’t there.
To her delight, when she drove onto the gravelled area, she saw his car, and her anticipation rose.
She parked up and got out, wondering whether to go looking for him, before deciding it might be rude. She ought to make her presence known at the office, like she’d done last time when she’d had Bertie with her.
A pang shot through her as she thought of the little dog and how she’d left him here. He’d been so miserable…
Gretta walked over to the office, various canine voices filling the air, and as she went inside she couldn’t help musing that one of them might belong to a pooch who would come to stay with her for a while. A small dog, preferably, but then she recalled how gentle Jakob’s golden retriever was and she decided to keep an open mind. Besides, Jakob wouldn’t let her have a dog she couldn’t cope with. She had complete trust that he’d do right by her and the dog.
Trust . There was that word again. She trusted him, and it was a nice feeling.
‘Hiya,’ Maisie said, catching sight of her in the cramped reception area. ‘It’s Gretta, isn’t it? Bertie, the French bulldog?’
Gretta was surprised she remembered. ‘That’s right.’
‘Jakob told me all about you, how you took Bertie in. You’re a star!’
She was? ‘Is Jakob around? I wanted a quick word. I miss Bertie a lot, and although I’m not ready for another dog, I thought maybe I could foster one?’
‘He’s on the phone to Dawn in Thornbury. Can you give him five minutes?’
‘Of course.’
‘Tell you what, would you like to sniff some puppies while you wait?’
‘Excuse me? ’
‘Sniff puppies. They’ve got the most gorgeous milky smell. There’s a litter in the house, and I was about to give them their first taste of solid food. Would you like to give me a hand?’
‘Ooh, yes, please! Puppies! ’
‘I know, right? Aside from kittens, there’s nothing cuter.’ Maisie left the office, still talking, as Gretta hastily followed.
Maisie chattered, ‘They’re just over three weeks old. Little round blobs of cuteness, with four tiny paws, a tail, and the most adorable little noses. Their mother was brought in heavily pregnant – an accidental litter. Her owners couldn’t afford to get her spayed, and one day she got out. Two months later, they realised she was going to have puppies.’
Maisie led her into an old farmhouse that looked as though it had recently been renovated.
‘Mum and pups are in the utility room,’ she said. ‘I haven’t been able to get to my washing machine for weeks! But it’s the most secure place for them. Here they are!’
She stepped aside so Gretta could get a look.
Gretta stifled a squeal and put a hand to her mouth because, lying in a wooden box lined with towels, was a small grey dog and six tiny puppies.
‘Oh, my God,’ she breathed. ‘They’re so little.’
‘You should have seen them when they were born! They’ve doubled in size since then.’ Maisie crouched on the floor, patted and stroked the mother dog, then picked up one of the pups. ‘Here you go,’ she said, and handed it to Gretta.
She took it gingerly, terrified she was going to hurt it.
‘Don’t be scared,’ Maisie said. ‘They’re more robust than you think, and it’s crucial for their development that they get used to being handled. Have a sniff – I dare you.’
Gretta brought the puppy to her face, the little body warm and squirmy, and inhaled. ‘Oh, my…’
‘See! I told you. I wish I could bottle that smell.’
The puppy licked Gretta’s nose, and she giggled.
Maisie said, ‘I’m just going to mix up some puppy food with milk – milk suitable for dogs, that is – so will you be okay here for a minute?’
She most certainly would! She’d happily stay here all day, she thought, as she held the soft, furry pup close, and listened to its tiny squeaky whimpers.
No wonder Jakob loved his job so much if he got to cuddle puppies!
Gretta hoped he wouldn’t finish doing whatever he was doing too soon, because even though she dearly wanted to see him, she was having far too much fun playing with six adorable pups.
‘What the hell?’ Jakob muttered when he saw who was standing at the end of the row of pens. What was she doing here?
He narrowed his eyes.
Clare smiled brightly back. ‘It’s me,’ she said unnecessarily, and gave a kind of shrug.
‘So it is.’
‘Don’t be like that, Jakey.’
‘I’m not being like anything,’ he told her.
She sauntered towards him, her hips swinging.
Jakob swallowed nervously. ‘What do you want?’
‘To talk to you.’
‘Now is not a good time.’ He didn’t think any time would be good. ‘I’m busy. Working. I’m at work.’
‘I know.’ Her gaze swept briskly around the kennels. There was no warmth in her eyes, no acknowledgement of the plight of the poor dogs. ‘You didn’t call, you didn’t reply to my messages. I even went to your house yesterday. No joy. Are you avoiding me, Jake?’
‘I don’t see that we’ve got anything to talk about,’ he replied, wishing she wouldn’t call him Jake. No one else did. Just her.
She hung her head, her long blond hair falling like a curtain to hide her face. ‘I’m sorry, Jake. I was stupid.’
Nuh-uh, he had been the stupid one, for taking her back after the first time. And the second. And the third.
‘I made a mistake,’ she continued.
Yeah, she could say that again .
‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ She was peeping up at him from under her lashes and twirling her hair around her finger. It was her flirting pose.
‘There’s nothing to say.’
‘I’m sorry ,’ she repeated. ‘I wish I could turn the clock back, but I can’t. I wish I’d realised…’ She trailed off and stepped closer.
Jakob held his ground. He didn’t want her to think she intimidated him.
As he gazed down at her, she took another step, lifted her chin and looked into his eyes. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you. It’s just…I wanted more excitement. But I realise now that excitement isn’t everything. Love is more important, and you really did love me, didn’t you, Jake?’
Jakob fought to keep his expression neutral. He had loved her, with every fibre of his being and then some. But as he studied her, he finally realised something – he didn’t love her anymore. Each time she’d been unfaithful, some of that love had eroded away. That last, awful affair had swept it away like a tsunami, but in the raging torrent of his grief, he hadn’t realised.
Abruptly he was glad she’d come back, glad that she’d tracked him down, glad they’d had this talk. Because he could put his hand on his heart and say he no longer loved her.
‘I think you still do,’ she murmured. She was so close he could feel the warmth of her skin and smell her perfume, the same fragrance she always used to wear. The scent had no effect on him, neither did her body, which she abruptly pressed against him as she reached up to wind her arms around his neck.
And when she tried to kiss him, he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing .
With relief, Jakob knew he was finally, irrevocably, free of her.
Bubbling with excitement and an overload of furry cuteness, Gretta hurried towards the block of kennels where the sanctuary dogs were housed. She’d spent longer than she’d intended with the puppies, and even now she’d had to drag herself away. She couldn’t wait to see Jakob and tell him what she’d been doing.
If she was honest, she couldn’t wait to see him full stop .
Gretta rounded a corner and skidded to a halt.
She could see him alright.
And she wished she couldn’t, because some woman was draped all over him. No, not some woman , Gretta realised in dismay. It was the woman from the supermarket a couple of weeks ago. The one who someone called Jake had adored.
Jake…Jakob…? Oh, hell .
A sharp pain struck her in the chest, and she staggered back, then turned on her heel and stumbled away.
That would teach her to trust a man. She should have known better. She did know better.
Unfortunately, she’d allowed herself to hope.
Her heart aching, tears in her eyes, Gretta vowed she would never, ever make that mistake again.
Jakob experienced a certain satisfaction on seeing the disbelief on Clare’s face as she pulled away when he refused to respond.
As she’d tried her best to kiss him, he’d stood there, immobile and resolute, waiting for the realisation that she couldn’t talk him around this time, to sink in.
When it did, she didn’t look happy. Her eyes were flinty, and her lips were pressed into a thin line. But not for long, because she soon had something to say about his lack of response.
‘She’s a bit mousy, isn’t she?’ Clare spat.
Jakob lifted his chin. He might have known: it was okay for her to mess about, then bugger off with his best mate, but she now had the cheek to feel hard-done-by because he’d moved on. Or she thought he had, because she’d seen him holding Gretta’s hand in the cafe on the day of Mr Butler’s funeral.
Was that what had brought her to his door, so to speak? A dog-in-the-manger attitude?
She hadn’t wanted him, but even after three years, she didn’t want anyone else to have him. Or – and this was also a possibility – she assumed she’d snap her fingers, and he’d come running, dumping Gretta in the process.
Gretta was worth ten of Clare. A hundred. She was genuine, kind, loving and he wanted her so badly.
One kiss would never be enough…
‘Go away, Clare,’ he said with a weary sigh. ‘I’m not interested. I haven’t been interested for a very long time.’ Then he turned his back on her and waited for her to leave.
It took a few seconds, but eventually he heard her march away, and only when her footsteps had faded entirely did he allow himself to relax. He was free of her. It was time to start living his life again, and maybe, if he was lucky, he could allow himself to love again.
And when Gretta’s face swam into his mind, he smiled.