Chapter Thirty-Five
After their delicious lunch, Fernando guided Sophie by the hand to one of Venice’s winding canals, which were interlaced throughout the city like veins. As they neared the water, a gondolier dressed in his traditional black and white striped shirt and sporting a straw hat adorned with a red ribbon welcomed them with a broad smile. “Buongiorno, my fair lovers. Climb on board and let me, Paolo, take you for an afternoon ride fit for Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.” His rich baritone voice was heavy with a Venetian accent. Sophie’s eyes lit up at the reference to one of her favorite love stories.
Settling into the plush red velvet seats of the gondola, they felt the gentle sway of the boat as the gondolier gracefully pushed off from the dock. With a skillful twist of his oar, he navigated through the serene waters, the sound of the lapping waves mixing with the soft serenade of ‘That’s Amore’ as he began singing in a voice fit for any well-respected opera house. As the song wove around them, Fernando turned to Sophie with a tender look in his eyes .
“Sophie, I haven’t been completely honest with you about why I agreed to this trip,” he began, his voice gentle, fingers tenderly stroking the back of her hand. His gaze was earnest but shy, avoiding hers as he gathered his thoughts.
“How so,” Sophie asked, not worried but curious. She had known this man long enough to know he didn’t have a mean bone in his body.
“This year’s BBC gathering didn’t have one pact but two,” he added, still not meeting her eyes.
“Two?” she inquired, noticing the shyness that had come over him and wondering at it.
“Julio challenged us to meet our greatest fear. The one that was holding us back from living life to its fullest, but Anthony challenged us to find our true life partner. To actively seek her out. To put the same determination that we put toward all our other endeavors into finding her. I made a joke of it, thinking it was impossible. Then Gabriel and I had an eye-opening chat. He said I was an idiot because the woman I needed was standing right in front of me. He also said, if I didn’t hurry up and see what a wonderful woman you were, I was going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. That you loved me was obvious to everyone but me, and I needed to pull my head out of the clouds and open my eyes,” he continued, now locking eyes with hers with an intensity that made her heart flutter.
His voice was soft yet earnest, his delicious brown eyes gleaming with adoration. “Sophie, I’m a fool. Being with you these past days, totally removed from work and all of life’s distractions, has been a revelation. You’ve unknowingly become the most important part of my life,” Fernando confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t want to pretend anymore. I see the future we can have so clearly now, and it makes sense. More than that, it feels right. I never thought I would find a woman I could trust my heart to, but I already have without even realizing it. I couldn’t do this without you by my side. I wouldn’t want to. You’re right; I could never replace you. Will you be my lady, truly, not just for this trip but for whatever comes next?”
Sophie’s heart pounded so hard she was sure he could hear it or at least feel it where their hands were joined. This was her dream come true, but she had never expected it to happen. Not really. Now that it was, she wasn’t sure what to say. Oh, she loved this man wholeheartedly; there was no doubt about that. But… there was so much from her past he didn’t know. Things she hadn’t trusted him with, big things . Could she say yes with those secrets still unsaid? Was that fair? Would he resent her later for roping him into a relationship without being totally honest with him first? What if she finally told him, and then he changed his mind? She would understand; it was a huge commitment. But then, how would they continue working together if they broke up and she was still in love with him, but he couldn’t be with her? The rejection would hurt. Not to mention, she needed this job. Losing it wouldn’t just jeopardize her future but the future of her entire family. She didn’t think he would fire her straight away, but could she show her face in the office when it got out she had a relationship with the boss like a worthless gold-digger? She would be forever labeled “The girl who slept her way to the top,” even though no bedroom sports would be involved in this relationship.
“Sophie, I can almost hear the wheels turning in your head. Talk to me. I didn’t think this was going to be a hard decision. What is on your mind?” he implored.
Fernando’s gentleness was almost her undoing. A tear trailed down her cheek before she could retrieve her hand from his to stop it. Instead, he leaned in and kissed it away. That did it. The floodgates opened, and she cried .
None of this was going as Fernando had planned. He thought this would be an epically romantic gesture, and they would always remember the beginning of their love story as their uber-romantic day in Venice, but now… he could feel the sobs wracking Sophie’s body, and it tore at his heart.
He carefully reached into his pocket and took out a wad of cash, having no idea how much was in it. He handed it over to the gondolier, whispering, “Keep it moving,” and received an understanding nod in return.
Holding Sophie against his chest, he stroked her hair down her back, waiting for the tears to subside enough to talk. It didn’t take long.
Sitting up straight, Sophie wiped her face dry with the tips of her fingers before saying, “Sorry. I think I have been stressed about this for a while, and your kindness sort of overwhelmed me. Andy, we need to talk.”
“Okay. Do we need to talk before or after you give me an answer to my question? Because, before you say anything, Soph, I want you to know that it doesn’t matter. You know me. When I love someone, I’m all in, and I don’t let go easily. Well, I don’t let go at all. We already loved each other before all of this. I may not have realized the depths of my affection before this trip, but I think you did. I am slow sometimes, ask my brothers, but I always get there in the end, and when I do, it counts. You are well aware I have baggage in my past, and you loved me regardless; I will do no less for you. Whatever it is, we will get through it. I love my brothers, and they are very broken people. You are much more together than they will ever be. Trust me, whatever you have to say, it will be alright,” he assured her, squeezing her fingers gently when he really wanted to hug her close .
“Andy, I do love you... and I want to be your lady so badly. I agreed to this fake relationship because I thought it would be the closest I ever got to being with you, but now… it seems impossible for so many different reasons,” Sophie admitted, taking a deep breath to stop a new wave of tears.
“Nothing is impossible. Whatever it is, we will figure it out together, and if the two of us can’t figure it out, I have four brothers and a sister who will jump at the chance to try. They love you and want you to be a part of our family. Talk to me, Sophie,” he pleaded, feeling her pulling away from him without giving him a chance.
Sophie decided the time for hesitation was over. This would be the beginning or the end; either way, she was a firm believer in riding the wave life sent you and not whining about it.
“Andy, what are your thoughts on children?” she began, diving right in.
“Children?” Fernando echoed, not expecting that to be the first concern on her mind.
“Yes, children. I have never heard you talk about them. Do you want them? Do you even like them? You always have to pick out the gifts for your nieces, so where do children fit into your future?”
“I like children. I love playing with my nieces. I never really thought about kids. I always assumed I wouldn’t have any because I don’t have time for a family. I’m just now trying to wrap my head around making time for a woman. If we have children, that would be fine; if we didn’t, that would be fine, too. It’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow. We have time to figure all of this stuff out, right?”
“No, not really. If we are going to date, I know you. I know us. We will be doing it with our eye on the prize. If we start, we will have every intention of finishing at the altar unless it becomes obvious that we aren’t compatible. So, before we decide to throw our friendship away on a whim that may not work, you need to understand some things and decide if it is where you see your life going. So, kids are optional. You don’t have strong feelings either way. Am I understanding you correctly?” Sophie pushed.
“Yes. I can honestly say I will not feel incomplete without a child. I would be more nervous to have one, honestly, because I just don’t see where the time would come from.” Fernando removed his fedora and scrubbed his head with his free hand before replacing it, noticing that his answer didn’t seem to make Sophie feel any better. “Soph, you’re killing me. Just spit it out already.”
Sophie saw his anxious behavior and wanted to have mercy on him, but she couldn’t see how any of her revelations would make him feel better. Taking his hands in hers, she looked deeply into his eyes, “I can’t have children. If you decide later you want a child, I won’t be able to give one to you. You will not be able to have a biological child with me, ever.”
Fernando sighed deeply and chuckled, “Is that all? You scared me! It’s fine. It really is fine. Like I said, I don’t need children, and if we decide later down the road that we do, there is always adoption. I know firsthand how many great kids there are wasting away in children’s services in need of a loving and caring home. I will be perfectly happy adopting one or a dozen of those someday. Come here.”
He took her in his arms and breathed in her delicate scent, grateful that it was over. He could imagine how difficult it was for her to share that with him and how many other men, especially those with such immense wealth, would have walked away at not being able to propagate their dynasty. He was not that kind of man.
She held him close for a moment, then pulled back, needing to see his face. “There’s more. ”
Fernando intertwined their fingers and looked into her stormy grey eyes. “Okay, let’s have it before I have a heart attack.”
“I have a son.”