Chapter 38 Jesse
T he sight of Sam on her knees was too much. I was already too far gone from just touching her, and I wanted her now . She was torturing me, and if she didn’t stop, I thought I might black out.
I reached down and gently circled the wrist of the hand she had on my thigh, and I tugged her up. She glanced down at me, a confused expression on her face.
I just shook my head at whatever she was thinking.
“I can’t...” I said, threading my fingers through hers and pulling her back toward me as a satisfied grin spread across her heart-shaped face. “But I want you. All of you.”
I let go to graze the backs of her legs, from her calves to the curve of her perfectly round ass, and I swore to god, the little shiver she gave was like a drug.
“I want you too,” she breathed.
She leaned down to press her lips to mine and shifted her weight until she was hovering above me. I swiftly rolled us over until she was laid out beneath me.
“Are you sure? Like out-of-your-mind sure?” I asked, grinning and hoping she had the same crystal-clear memory of our first time that I did.
“Out-of-my-mind sure. Yes,” she agreed, smiling against my lips.
I reached for my nightstand to find a condom and rolled it on before taking full advantage of my position, raking my eyes over her body. She was so warm and soft, and I wanted to touch her everywhere and find out which places made her gasp or hold her breath.
There’s time for that , I reasoned, warmth spreading through my chest at the truth of it. Her hands tangled in my hair, and I pressed my lips to her temple, her neck, her shoulder, and finally her lips as I pushed into her and groaned something unintelligible. Her heels locked around my back, and she guided me the rest of the way.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” I said, lightning bolts of sensation spreading to every inch of my body. I was trying not to sink my teeth into her like a teenager who didn’t know better, but it was so tempting.
“Me too. For so long, Jesse.”
Her whispered voice stumbled when she said my name, the want in her voice snapping something in my brain, so I gave in to everything. I reached for her thigh and guided it up, stretching until our limbs were tangled in entirely new ways, her calf on my shoulder and her taking me impossibly deeper.
“Oh fuck ,” she swore against my shoulder where her teeth currently resided.
“Do you like that?” I chuckled at her wide eyes and slow nod. “You feel so fucking good, Sam.”
I wanted to forget where I ended, and she began. My body threatened to come apart, but I knew it was my heart too, because she was everything.
“Tell me what you need.”
Because I was close. Too close.
“I need you to touch me.”
I slid her arms above her head and held her wrists with one hand and reached between us and circled her clit with the other, adjusting pressure according to the whimper she let out, to make sure I took care of her before I lost myself.
I felt her break underneath me, letting the sound of my name from her mouth wash over me before I followed. I nearly collapsed next to her, unwinding our bodies to be able to hold her against me. I could feel her legs shaking around me, and I started rubbing circles on her calf and working my way upward.
“You’re kind of hot,” she murmured into my shoulder, huffing a laugh.
“Well, I’ve been reading a lot of romance novels,” I replied, smiling as I trailed my fingers through her curls that had come free of her now-ruined braid.
“I’ll keep supplying you with them. We’ve got a whole new shipment at the shop,” she added with a deep contented sigh.
I finally left her to toss the condom, and to my horror, she was standing next to the bed attempting to get dressed, when I came back to the room.
“What are you doing?”
“I am putting clothing on my body. It’s a whole new trend.”
“No, no. I mean, if you want to put something on, of course, but I’ll give you one of my shirts and a pair of shorts. For the record, though, I like you like this,” I explained, crawling onto my bed, wrapping my arms around her from behind, and pulling her back to my chest.
“You want me to stay?”
“Did I not make it clear tonight that I’m kind of into you? Because if not, I am happy to show you again... just give me a few.”
I relaxed when she did, and she let the skirt of her dress fall back to the floor.
“Okay, I’ll stay. But yes to the t-shirt. I’ll probably steal it, so make it one that’s not your favorite.” I pressed a kiss to her neck and pulled out a Mud Hens practice t-shirt, surprised that it didn’t make me feel anything other than excited to see her in more of my clothes. There was not the familiar twinge of resentment when I saw the logo, and I thought that deserved another therapy gold-star.
I pulled the t-shirt over her head, being mindful of what was left of the flowers in the once-intricate braid around her head. Her curls were falling out of it around her face, and she looked beautiful.
“Thank you.”
“Can I heat you up some food? I feel bad you didn’t get to eat tacos. Or can I just bring you some water?”
“My exhaustion is only matched by how much I want tacos,” she answered. “Can we eat on the couch and watch Buffy ? That way, when I inevitably fall asleep, there will at least be pillows nearby.”
“Done.”
I grabbed some extra blankets from the closet before I threw the tacos in the oven to warm up. She found the episode she wanted to watch, and I stared at her from across my apartment, in awe that she was here and that we’d found each other at the right time and in the right place.
She did, in fact, fall asleep about twenty minutes into the episode, and I let her remain that way with her head in my lap until I couldn’t stay awake any longer, either. I was able to coax her back to bed, and I learned that she was, surprisingly, a snuggler. Her leg intertwined with mine under the covers and her head tucked just under my chin. I fell asleep, happy in my new reality in a way I never believed I would be. It was nice to be proven wrong.
THE SUN WAS STREAMING in through my bedroom window at an angle that let me know it was later than normal. My phone read 8:45. The events of the previous night came rushing back in screaming color, and I turned over to find the other half of my bed empty. Frowning, I swung my legs over the side, testing my knee quickly before hopping up. I’d learned that one the hard way. It twinged, but I was able to walk without any real pain. I brushed my teeth and pulled on a hoodie and a pair of gray joggers before wandering out to my kitchen, really hoping she hadn’t gone home without saying something.
I breathed in relief to find her at my counter, a notebook and pencil in hand.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I said, making her jump slightly.
“Oh! Good morning. Sorry, I was in my own little world for a second.”
“What’s that?” I asked, referencing the notebook while I pulled out the coffee maker.
“A surprise.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. “What kind of surprise?”
“One you’ll like, don’t worry.”
She shot me a look, a confident smile on her face. She’d apparently been up long enough to re-do her hair into a much less complicated ponytail and start a project. I let her draw while I waited for the coffee to brew.
I pushed a mug to her across the island. She slid the notebook back at me. I looked at it for a long moment.
“Did you hand-draw a logo for the new rec program?”
She just nodded as she took a bite.
“To be fair, I would have probably had a full mockup by now, but I obviously didn’t have my laptop with me. I looked on my phone at the logos for the parks and rec department in its entirety as well as the town so I could make something that would fit, and I think something like that will work well. I don’t know if they’re looking for a logo. They probably have their own designer. Anyway, this is my version of giving you flowers.”
I looked at the design again. She had drawn the outline of part of a clover and worked in the first letters of Youth and Sports into the curves of it. Some of the letters had subtle patterns embedded into them that I realized were representative of various sports.
“If you flip to the next page, I made a sigil, which is kind of like a witch version of a logo, if I had to explain it. I would work it in digitally behind the logo image, and it’s charged to offer welcoming energy, like a sense of belonging, for the kids who play there. I don’t have to do that part, though, if you don’t want,” she added quickly.
“Why would I not want that? That’s exactly what I hope for this program. This is... you’re so talented. Is it weird that I didn’t really know you could draw? I mean I know graphic design is an artsy sort of field... I just—”
“You’ve met my mother, no?” She laughed. “I took art lessons for many, many years. I just happen to be a mediocre artist. And I lost the joy in creating it long ago when I realized my mom expected me to make it into a career. Anyway, I usually stick to using software, but thank you.”
“Well, I don’t think you’re mediocre at anything, but I understand your passion becoming your job. Coach Brown reminded me how it felt for the game to be fun. I think I’m genuinely excited about sports without the anxiety of letting everyone down for the first time since I played high school ball. Even if they can’t use this logo, I’m having it printed on t-shirts and hoodies for myself. “
“Yeah? I’m glad you like it. And I’m glad you get to be excited about baseball again. You deserve it.”
I knew the warm and fuzzy didn’t necessarily come naturally for Sam, so her saying that meant even more.
“Will the sigil make it like a Care Bear Stare? Like walking around sending out good energy to everyone?”
She let out a surprised laugh. “You know? I don’t know that I’ve ever heard it described better. Completely ridiculous image, of course, but yes. I’ve done sigil work in the past, but I’ve never combined it with my designs which seems like it should have been obvious. Anyway, you’ll be my Care Bear Stare Design Test Subject.”
Her eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Happy to be experimented on.” I sipped my coffee and let the caffeine work its way through my body.
She looked thoughtful for a minute. “Jesse...”
“Sam...”
“Do we need to, like, talk about last night? Or about things?”
“We can. I’m fully prepared to embarrass myself by explaining how much I like you.”
“I don’t think you understand how this works, Garrett. You’re supposed to look really torn and tell me how you do like me, but your job is just really monopolizing your time, and it’s best if we keep things casual. Then you proceed to call me when you want to hook up, and I am forced to consider working some baneful magic as vengeance. It’s all very straightforward. I’m sure it was in the handbook.”
A flicker of anger surged through me that anyone had ever treated Sam like that, but I was also glad that each of our experiences led us here.
“Yeah, that sounds horrible. I’m going to stick with my way.”
“God, I really need to run your whole birth chart to figure out how you got this way,” she replied, shaking her head. “But fine, I like you too. Are we dating? Are you not into labels?”
“I’m so into labels. I’ll happily wear whichever one you want. Boyfriend would probably be the most conventional, but maybe you have some sort of witchy version. Like a familiar? Is that what it’s called? Are those only for pets? I have so many questions.”
She was shaking with laughter now.
“Please, stop. You cannot be a familiar. But boyfriend would be fine.”
Her eyes softened as she said it, and I wanted to kiss her. It took an embarrassingly long moment for me to realize that I could kiss her. Because apparently Sam was my girlfriend, and she was sitting in my house wearing my shirt.
“Can I kiss you, then? Because that seems like something a boyfriend would do when his girlfriend is sitting there looking adorable.”
“I think we can do better than ‘adorable.’ You said something last night about ‘so gorgeous.’ I can’t remember, exactly; I was very distracted.” I made my way around the island to where she was perched on a barstool.
“You are . And allow me to distract you again.”