Chapter 4
Carmen
Carmen listened to Mateo regale Faith with one of his clients’ mishap stories. Faith was crying with laughter as Mateo performed his tale with flair and drama. Smiling, Carmen polished off her pancakes and coffee.
Sleep hadn’t come easily last night. As soon as Carmen was alone in her room, panic set in. Welcoming Faith into her home was the right thing to do, but something was telling Carmen their lives were about to get complicated. Never mind the fact that finding this Molly woman was going to be a massive undertaking that wouldn’t necessarily turn out the way Faith hoped. There was also Faith’s family to consider.
The way Faith described her father, Carmen knew they would have to deal with some kind of fallout. Yes, Faith was an adult, but Carmen had met men like him. He wouldn’t give up control that easily.
If Faith’s parents showed up, Carmen had to take into consideration how that would affect Mateo. It had been a long time since either of them had dealt with people like that. Carmen and Mateo’s childhoods had been tough. They’d both been through a lot, and they’d both tried their hardest to put those memories in the past where they belonged. A shot of pain reminded Carmen that not everyone one in her and Mateo’s life had been bad. Camila Ruiz was the one and only person in their young lives that gave a damn. The older woman worked at the group home. It was Camila who taught Carmen and Mateo Spanish. When Camila passed away from a heart attack, it felt as real as losing their own mother. That’s why Carmen and Mateo adopted the surname Ruiz. It was the only time they’d felt seen, and in some way loved. Wanted. After Camila, the two Ruiz kids only knew pain and suffering. Especially Mateo. The worry that a run-in with Faith’s father might trigger Mateo played heavily on her conscience.
Carmen suffered busted lips and bruises at the hands of her so-called caregivers. Mateo had suffered so much more. How was Carmen supposed to keep him safe and help Faith at the same time?
Those had been the thoughts rolling around Carmen’s head for most of the night. By the time the sun was peeking over the horizon, Carmen was almost bouncing off the walls. Music hadn’t helped. TV just irritated her more. So, Carmen did the one thing she hated. Exercise.
Plugging in headphones and running at the ass crack of dawn was not her idea of a good time, but nothing else was working. Carmen didn’t want Mateo or Faith to see how unsettled she was.
A three-mile jog had done the trick. By the time she got home, the sun was up. Mateo and Faith were still in bed, which gave Carmen the chance to shower and put on a clean boxer briefs and tank combo. All because she’d showered didn’t mean she had to get dressed, right? Maybe Mateo was on to something? Maybe Carmen had become a little too comfortable working from home.
“Hey Carm, how about a movie marathon today? We can introduce Faith to a few essential movies and TV series.”
“Is this the beginning of her lesducation?” Carmen chuckled. Mateo had a twinkle in his eye. That man was over the moon to be Faith’s guide into Queerdom.
“Absolutely. Plus, it’s Sunday. You know Sundays are sacred.”
“Oh, are you religious?” Faith asked.
Carmen snorted, “If by religious you mean with face masks and manicures, then yes. Mateo is devout.”
“At least I’ll look good when I get to those pearly gates,” Mateo tutted.
“I’ve never had a manicure,” Faith remarked, studying her fingernails.
“Well, that’s about to change, chica. I’m going to Pretty Woman the shit out of you!”
Carmen laughed again. Poor Faith, she had no idea what she was signing up for. At least Carmen wouldn’t have to suffer another Sunday being attacked with wax strips and tweezers. “Don’t think you’re off the hook, hermana. Those eyebrows are close to becoming a single unit.”
Faith giggled behind her hand. Carmen scowled at Mateo. “My eyebrows are fine.”
“No, honey, they are not. Plus, you need your undercut shaved.”
Carmen grazed her fingers along the back of her neck. Okay, she needed a little maintenance performed on her hair, but that didn’t mean she was going to let him go all Miss Congeniality on the rest of her body.
“Faith, why don’t you grab the robe on the back of your door while I get my kit. Meet us in the living room.” Faith nodded and scampered off, her mood much lighter than the day before. Carmen sighed audibly. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just didn’t sleep much.”
“Give it up Carmen. What’s wrong?”
Carmen shot a look towards the door. The last thing she wanted was Faith to hear her worries. “I’m worried. I don’t know where to look for Faith’s aunt and—”
“You’re worried about dear old dad showing up.” Mateo finished, slipping onto the stool next to Carmen.
“Yeah,” Carmen sighed.
“Are you worried for Faith or for me?”
Carmen should have known Mateo would see straight through her. They shared a bond tighter than blood relations. Their survival as kids had depended on trusting each other. “Both?”
Mateo gave Carmen an understanding smile. “You know, I’m like six months older than you right? Yet here you are acting all old sisterly on me.” The tut he gave for effect helped break the tension. “Carm, I know this is going to be tough for us both. First, we’ve never had to look out for anyone but each other. I mean, what do kids eat these days? Is she potty trained? Gosh, so many things to think about.” Carmen knocked his shoulder playfully. “But at the end of the day, Faith is a young woman who needs our help. And I think we are uniquely qualified to offer her that. Yes, sure, if her parents show up, it could trigger me and possibly you. Don’t forget, I’m not the only one that went through shit, but that’s why you forced us both into therapy. I can handle myself and I trust you to do the same.”
“Things have just been so good for us; I’m worried about breaking our luck.”
“Hermana, it’s not luck. We’ve worked hard to get where we are. Nothing will change that. Faith needs us to be the role models we so desperately needed growing up. She also needs adults who understand her and can help guide her through what I’m sure is a really exhausting time. Not only is she fresh out of the closet, but the way she was brought up means she has so many other things to learn and experience.”
“I hear you,” Carmen replied thoughtfully. Taking on Faith was a massive decision. Yesterday, Carmen’s heart had overruled her brain. In the cold light of day though, was it the right decision to involve themselves in Faith’s business?
“No, you don’t. I can hear your cogs grinding from here. We’re not teenagers that need to keep the world at bay anymore, Carmen. That girl needs our help and I intend to give it. With or without you!”
Carmen gritted her teeth as Mateo stormed out of the room. Damn it, she shouldn’t have opened her mouth. It was rare that Mateo and Carmen disagreed, but when they did, Carmen usually found herself in the wrong. Out of the two, she was the one who struggled to let go of the past. Even at thirty-seven, Carmen let her past dictate her present and future. Most of the arguments between Carmen and Mateo were about her inability to let herself live fully. Mateo hated Carmen working from home because he thought it gave her an excuse to shut the world out. He wasn’t wrong.
“Fuck,” Carmen hissed. She could hear Mateo laughing with Faith in the living room. How Carmen wished she could be like him. It would be great to go through life not expecting the worst in people, instead Carmen was in a constant state of awareness and suspicion.
“Carmen, get your ass in here. My tweezers are itching to pluck your unibrow.” Rubbing her face vigorously, Carmen prepared herself. Mateo would play nice in front of Faith, but the second they were alone, he would be pissed at her all over again.
◆◆◆
“I didn’t know my skin could feel so soft,” Faith whispered. Carmen, Faith and Mateo all sat in a row with their heads leaning back on the sofa. Mateo had given them each a facial.
“Honey, this is essential maintenance,” Mateo replied.
“I feel tingly,” Faith giggled.
“That’s because your face can breathe now all the dead skin is gone.”
“Ew, gross, let’s not talk about dead skin please,” Carmen gagged.
“We wouldn’t have to if you exfoliated once in a while, Carm.”
“I exfoliate.”
“You two are hilarious,” Faith cackled.
Carmen smiled. It was nice to see Faith relaxing. It was also good for Carmen to have spent some time with her and Mateo. Just being around those two helped quell Carmen’s worries. Mateo was right. There was a reason Carmen felt the need to offer Faith their home. Stripping away all the uncertainty left Carmen clearheaded. Faith was a good kid from the little Carmen knew of her. Everyone deserved support, and that’s what Carmen would give. Now she just had to channel that thought to Mateo, so he didn’t rip her a new asshole as soon as Faith left the room.
“Right, now that we are silky smooth, I suppose I should tackle your hair, Carmen. No self-respecting lesbian is going to jump into bed with you looking like that.”
“Wow, you’re just full of compliments today, Mateo. So good for my self-esteem.”
“Just telling it like it is, Hermana. Now into the bathroom you go.”
Carmen hauled herself up from the couch and trudged to the bathroom. Stripping off her tank top, Carmen surveyed herself in the mirror. Her undercut was overgrown. Her skin was also pale. “Jesus,” she mumbled as she prodded the skin on her face. “You’re getting old.”
“No, you’re just not getting enough sunlight,” Mateo stated. He directed Carmen to sit on the stool that was reserved for haircuts. Carmen had argued until she was blue in the face when Mateo first told her he planned to set up a hair station in the shared bathroom. The idea of Mateo using their space to play hairdresser irked Carmen until she actually allowed Mateo to give her a full treatment. Now their bathroom resembled a salon, and Carmen loved it.
“Listen, before you jump all over me about earlier, I know I was wrong. I was just panicking a bit.”
“Alright,” Mateo replied, leaning Carmen’s head back against the sink to wash her hair.
“That’s it, just ‘alright?’”
“Yes, that’s it. I know you needed your freak out, but I also knew you would come to the right decision.”
“Are you… are you sure you will be okay if her dad turns up?”
“Yes, I’m sure. My time fearing asshole men is well and truly over. Faith needs us to be strong for her. She’s a good kid.”
“You get on well with her.”
“You will, too. Just let yourself, Carmen. For once, don’t overthink, just connect. I can’t be your only constant, chica. I will be, you know that, but I shouldn’t be the only one.”
“I don’t understand how you’re so chill about everything.”
“How else should I be? Yeah, we had a shitty start in life, but, Carmen, look at us. We fought and worked, and we survived. Hell, we did more than that. I have a successful business that I love, and you are stupid intelligent with not one but two companies. There will be people who hurt us, that’s life, but none of them will break us.”
“I’m so proud of you, Mateo,” Carmen choked. It was unlike her to get soppy, but for whatever reason, Faith’s situation was bringing a lot of emotions to the surface.
“I’m proud of myself too,” he laughed. “I love you, Carmen. You are my person and I’m damn proud to call you Hermana. But please, stop letting old shit dictate your life. At some point I’m going to meet a hunky man, move out, and have a pack of kids. I want to know that you are settled and happy before that.”
“A pack of kids?” Carmen laughed. “God help us all if there’s a bunch of mini Mateos running around the place.”
“Imagine how perfect their skin will be,” Mateo mused. Carmen chuckled. Mateo’s kids would have the most flawless skin in the U.S.
The pair fell silent as Mateo washed and rinsed Carmen’s hair. Hauling her long locks into a messy bun on top of her head, Carmen rolled her neck, dispelling the tightness that always formed after bending over the sink.
“Do you want an inch trimmed off?” Mateo asked, flicking Carmen’s wet bun.
“Sure why not.”
Silence fell again. Carmen wondered what Faith was doing. There was no sound coming from the living room. “Where’s Faith?”
“Relaxing on the sofa.”
“Didn’t she want the TV on or anything?”
“I don’t think it even occurred to her. I pointed out your books, just in case she got bored.”
Carmen whipped round to face Mateo, her eyes bugging. Carmen’s books were not exactly PG. “Mateo, she can’t read them.”
Mateo barked out a deep laugh. “Of course she can. It’s about time the girl—”
“No, Mateo. Jesus, she’ll have a heart attack.”
“Relax. She’ll put it down if it’s too much. Stop panicking.”
Carmen squirmed on the stool. Faith was a grown woman—sort of. Of course she could read whatever she wanted. That didn’t make Carmen feel any better. Not when she felt it was her responsibility to help ease Faith into the sapphic world. Was it her responsibility? Did Faith even want her help? Maybe it was best to leave anything like that up to Faith’s aunt? But what if they couldn’t find Molly?
“Will you stop moving,” Mateo snapped.
“Wait one minute,” Carmen replied, grabbing a towel and then launching herself out the bathroom door. Nope, she couldn’t sit back. She needed to warn Faith.
Rounding the corner to the living room, Carmen looked crazed with her hair pulled up haphazardly and a towel wrapped precariously around her chest.
Faith was just about to flip the page on one of Carmen’s sauciest books. “Wait!” Carmen practically screamed, causing Faith to launch the book halfway across the room.
“Oh my Lord, you scared the bejesus out of me,” Faith panted, clutching her chest.
“Sorry, I just… well, I just wanted to warn you?”
“Warn me?” Faith’s eyes went wide with fear. Oh, for God’s sake Carmen, don’t go blurting something like that out!
“No, no, don’t panic. You’re fine, we’re fine. Mateo told me you might read my books,” she said, quickly pointing to the novel on the floor.
“I’m sorry, didn’t you want me to? I should have asked.”
“No, it’s not that. Um… well, the books are sapphic stories.”
“Okay.”
“And… um… well, they’re a little spicy.”
“Spicy?” Faith furrowed her eyebrows.
Oh Christ. “Yeah, the sex scenes in them are quite explicit.”
Faith’s face turned a deep shade of red, as did Carmen’s. “I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“She feels uncomfortable now, chica,” Mateo hollered from the bathroom.
“Shit, sorry—”
“No, it’s okay. Thank you for warning me… um… but I’d still like to read it if that’s alright?”
“Yeah sure, go for it.” Carmen gave an awkward thumbs up. Hating herself a little, she turned on her heel and headed back to the bathroom.
“Well, that was entertaining,” Mateo chuckled.
“Shut up.”
“Now that you’ve successfully embarrassed yourself and Faith, can I continue with your hair?”
◆◆◆
“Wow, I love your hair,” Faith gasped when Carmen stepped into the kitchen.
“Thanks, me too.” Carmen smiled. “I was thinking,” Carmen added. “I have a friend in the Seattle Police Department. Maybe I could ask her how we should begin our search for your aunt.”
“Really? That would be great.”
“I was also thinking that we could ask the neighbors. Maybe Molly got friendly with them and told them where she was going.”
“Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because you’ve had a super stressful few days,” Carmen laughed. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
“Who’s beating who up?” Mateo asked. Carmen threw her head back laughing when she saw what Mateo was wearing.
“No one needs to see you in Lycra, Mateo!” Carmen howled.
“I have a fitness video to finish,” he huffed.
“And that requires you to dress like Richard Simmons?”
“Don’t knock Ricky, Carmen.”
“Don’t assault my eyes with Lycra, Mateo.”
“Carmen was saying she has a friend on the police force that might give us a clue where our search for Aunt Molly should begin.”
“Ah, would that be a delectable Detective March by any chance, Hermana?”
Carmen rolled her eyes. Rachel March had been, at one time, a friend with benefits. Although, the friend part of that title was questionable. The benefits part certainly outweighed any friendship time they shared. “Yes, I’m going to call Rachel. We need a starting point. I’m also talking to the neighbors.” Carmen bypassed Mateo’s attempt at teasing her about Rachel.
“Maybe you could go for a drink? Make an evening out of it?”
“That’s unnecessary. I’ll just call her.” Carmen scooted past Faith and headed to her room. Hopefully Rachel would be happy to hear from her. It’s not like they parted on bad terms. Carmen hadn’t wanted Rachel to get the idea that she wanted more from their arrangement, so she’d cut off communication a few months ago. They still sent the odd text now and then, but the benefits had been put on permanent hold.
Tapping the little green icon on her phone, Carmen only had to wait three rings before Rachel’s sultry voice invaded her ear. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Carmen Ruiz.”
“Rachel, hey, how are you?”
“Intrigued. I thought our little bedroom adventures were over after you all but ghosted me.”
Carmen bit her lip and made a fist with her free hand. She should have known Rachel would be pissed. “Sorry—”
“Oh stop, I’m teasing. We both knew what it was. Is everything alright? You’re not in trouble are you?”
“No, but I have a few questions, if you have five minutes?”
“For you, kitten, I have ten.”
Carmen chuckled. Maybe they could find their way back to their bedroom adventures, just one more time.