Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Sally
I’ve never been greeted with so many smiles before.
As a kid, you don’t pay much attention to the surrounding people—adults being high up on the ‘I do not understand’ list. I was too focused on my parents and their moods.
The way they looked at each other. The grip of my father’s hands whitening his knuckles.
It’s sad that I know he was restraining the urge to hit her.
He never raised a hand to me or my mom, but that didn’t mean there weren’t plenty of slurs being thrown out within the walls of our house.
Just on the way to the pier, Oliver was stopped three times.
Each time, he was pulled into a full conversation.
The first was a petite white woman with a blonde pixie cut and blue floral dress, aptly named Daisy.
She started giving Oliver shit about having a new girl on his arm every week, which caused a little bit of heat to fill my body.
I’m already getting jealous when I shouldn’t.
Oliver explained that Daisy was the recent wife of the head bartender at Water's Edge, though not everyone knows that. Maybe some secrets can be kept in this town.
The other two times we were stopped were by people whom Oliver had helped with repairs. I gathered that Oliver works mornings as a handyman of sorts around town. Then, in the afternoon, he works at Water’s Edge as a waiter or barback . On top of all that, he helps the kids on the weekend.
He basically works three jobs.
It doesn’t escape me that all three interactions called me Oliver’s girlfriend, and he didn’t correct them.
In Darien, if I were seen with a boy in public, the bullies would taunt him about being gay. I didn’t make many guy friends after that.
The Riptide Pier leads out onto the lake.
The lake shore was always the part that attracted the most tourists in the city.
At the beginning of the attraction, you have the physical shops.
The actual pier area is filled with different vendors, from gift shops and pretzel stands to even freelance artists and magicians.
I’m pretty sure we just passed a psychic giving a tarot card reading to a goth girl and her equally goth boyfriend.
As we get farther onto the pier, more and more people crowd around, looking at stands with different games. The crowd pulls in, and I separate from Oliver’s side.
No one else seems to mind but me. They just go about their days without a care in the world.
Oliver’s hand reaches backward and encases mine. A small amount of heat radiates from my face. I’ve never really thought about hand-holding before. Sure, I’ve gone out in public and held my sister’s and brother’s hands, but this is different.
Oliver is holding my hand like it’s the easiest thing in the world. This should feel easy, but I also feel dread overtake my nerves.
The heat continues to encase my hand with a clammy feeling.
What if people start staring, and it hurts him?
Should I let go?
Almost like he reads my thoughts, Oliver squeezes my hand. “Can’t let you get lost on your first outing in Alliance.”
He wouldn’t be doing this if he knew who you were.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, starting to let go of my hand, but I clasp down tighter. Please don’t let go.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t do well in a crowd.” I don’t like crowds mostly because I think everyone is studying me, trying to figure out what I am.
He frowns slightly before turning around, scanning the crowd in front of us before his eyes light up, and like that, we are moving again.
He weaves us through the people, stopping every few feet to let people pass but also keeping me close behind him.
He’s making sure no one touches me as we make it out of the crowd and to an unoccupied bench.
Oliver sits me down before winking and then walking over to the slushie stand.
I quickly follow after him, stepping back at his side. He turns to me with a raised eyebrow before turning back to the vendor.
“What would you like, miss?”
“Cotton candy, please.” I reach for my wallet but Oliver places his hand on mine, pushing it down.
“I’m gonna pay for you,” he says, staring intently.
“Do you really want to pay for me?” I can’t help but giggle.
His expression turns serious. “Of course I do. You deserve to be taken care of.” My pulse quickens at his tone. All I can do is nod, and he grins again, placing a hand on my lower back. “I’ll have the sea breeze.”
Oliver pays, we get our slushies, and the drink tastes like heaven. I don’t love sugar, but this is a deliciously gorgeous mix of blue and pink.
I let out a quiet moan, cooling down my body with the drink.
My eyes shoot open. Wait, did I just audibly moan?
“You okay?” Oliver cocks his head slightly, pretending he heard nothing, but from the grin on his face, he knows what just happened.
This is where I die. My face feels like the sun right now.
“What’s up?” he asks. I need him to stop acting like he has no idea what happens when he grins down at me.
“You will tell no one about what you just heard,” I say, taking another sip while he lets out a chuckle.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, princess.”
I narrow my eyes at him, which triggers his mock-confused expression to falter.
“For real this time,” he says warily, “what’s up? Did I say something wrong?”
I can’t tell him that kids at my school called me that as a way to make fun of me. Them calling me dude or bro stopped having the effect they wanted. They wanted to see me perk up from the name and then crush those hopes.
“No.” I let out a shaky breath. I hate lying to him so much, but I’m not ready. I’m not ready for this to end. “My brothers just call me that sarcastically. They say I’m high maintenance.”
“I figured.”
“Ahhh!” I slap his arm.
“But I’m sure I can handle it,” he says with a smirk.
The crowd around the pier shrinks as we continue to chat. I feel like I still know so much about Oliver. His sea-green eyes still light up when he’s talking about something he loves.
There are also things I don’t know. Like the fact that he actually surfs now. Not only that, but he teaches other kids how to surf. He’s not just staring at the lake like it’s something to tame. He has mastered and become friends with the water.
One thing Oliver hasn’t brought up is having a childhood friend. Maybe he’s forgotten about me.
“I hate to cut this short…” He sighs.
He thinks this was short. We’ve been together since nine in the morning, and it is now one in the afternoon.
“But work calls.” He sounds like he regrets saying this.
“Oliver?”
“Yes, princess?” He’s still calling me princess, and I won’t lie about enjoying it.
The way he says it makes the word feel warm, like sunshine on a chilly morning.
He’s studying me again, grinning, which then causes pleasure to reach from my stomach all the way up my back to the base of my neck.
He’s too sexy to be allowed to smirk like this.
“If you’re working three jobs just to get by, what about—” I bite my lip to hold back from saying Holden—his dad’s name. I know his mom left when he was eight, forcing his dad into a more paternal role. Where is he now? “What about your parents?”
His smirk drops, and his eyes darken slightly. I just crossed a line, but before I can backtrack, Oliver levels me with another look. This time, the darkness in his eyes is replaced with melancholy.
He looks away. “They left.”
Without thinking, I grab his face, cupping his cheeks and making sure he’s looking at me. “You deserve parents that love you unconditionally.”
I don’t regret leaving, but the idea that he was abandoned by his dad makes me want to rage. My blood is boiling. I wish I could punch Holden for making his only son feel like this. I already knew his mom had left. We didn’t start hanging out until three years later.
We only spent one year together, but he was all I needed.
His face shifts to an unreadable expression as we stare into each other’s eyes. He then pulls himself from my hold, getting off the bench and taking my hand into his as we walk away.
“Would you like to go to a house party with me next Friday?” Oliver asks when we reach the entrance of the pier.
I smile softly. “That sounds fun. Can my brother and sisters come?”
“Of course. I can even pick you up.”
There it is. The simple act of him wanting to pick me up makes my blood turn cold. He can’t since I’m staying at the Gordons’ house, and that will lead to questions I can’t answer.
“That’s okay. We can meet you there. Just text me the address.”
His shoulders slouch slightly. “Okay.”
“Will I see you before then?”
“We could meet on the beach. I usually take a swim after I work on a few projects.”
I nod as we separate, and just like that, I am walking into the deep end.
After my date with Oliver—
Wait, no, not date.
I can’t let myself think it was a date. We were just friends before, but now I’m not sure. I never saw Oliver as particularly handsome, but that all feels different now. I didn’t even know I liked boys back then. Romance wasn’t on my mind. Surviving my parents was.
Now, when I see Oliver, I see a lot more than just my old best friend.
I see a six-foot, sun-kissed Adonis with arms that should be illegal.
The worst part is I have to fight every single blush gracing my cheeks whenever he just smiles at me.
I don’t know what he sees, but his smile always says Welcome home when I look, and that might be the scariest thing.
The house is quiet when I walk through. I almost think I’m alone until Ella walks through the living room, not even knowing I’m present, with a grin on her face.
“Oh my god.” I let out a soft whistle, catching my sister’s attention. “What are you grinning about?”
Ella lets out a laugh. “You act like I never smile.”
Now I’m smiling at the memory that Ella was spending the day with Leon and Jaxon. Leon is nowhere in sight, but Ella is back.
“Stop giving me that look!” Ella grabs a glass from the kitchen and pours herself some water.
“What look?” I play innocent, hopping onto the counter. “Give me all the juicy details.”
“No.” She takes a sip. “Don’t be like Mimi about this.”
She must be getting nervous with the way her body is swaying back and forth on her heels.
“I’m not, I promise.”
“If you must know, today was fun. Watching Jaxon help Leon ride his bike was cute. There was a lot of banter between us, which felt nice. He always came back at me just as hard.” Ella smiles softly as she tells me more about their bickering. “I think Leon is developing a crush, though.”
That certainly sours the mood. Leon has always been the type to develop feelings quickly, to have a flavor of the month.
“I’m sure it will pass. Leon never likes the same guy for more than a few weeks.”
“I hope so.”
“Oliver actually invited us to a party next week and for me to meet him on the beach again tomorrow. He keeps flirting with me, which is wild, but I like it—not to mention everyone here keeps on just assuming I’m a girl, which is unexpected but so refreshing.”
“You are a girl, Sally—no ifs, ands, or buts.” Ella pivots on her heel with an unreadable expression. Her lips press together tightly like she wants to say something but isn’t sure how to frame the question.
“Yeah.” Now, I’m biting my cheek to hold back the anxiety that’s gnawing in my head.
“What’s your plan with Oliver?”
That’s a loaded question, and I don’t know the answer.
“This isn’t me telling you to tell him about you being trans or anything, obviously,” she says quickly. “It’s just that I don’t want you to get hurt or caught up in a place we’re leaving soon. Have you even tried to find any more letters?”
“No, I haven’t,” I snap. “We’ve only been here for two days, Ella.”
Ella stares at me with wide eyes. I turn away, not wanting to see them. I don’t know what to do right now.
“You don’t need to be snippy with me. I’m just concerned about where your head is at.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you putting Oliver above the house?” The air is silent, and Ella cocks her brow, waiting for an answer that is never going to be voiced.
I hesitate. “No.” My voice is soft, barely audible, and Ella looks unmoved. Hell, I don’t even believe myself at this point. “I don’t know.”
“Sally.”
“Can we stop?”
She falters before stepping out in front of me. “Sally, we are leaving, going to college. Do you actually think you could handle a long-distance relationship?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sal.”
“I don’t fucking know!” I cry, pushing past her and through the room. “I don’t want to be here, but then Oliver smiles at me, and I’m reminded how I survived until Moms rescued me.”
My eyes drag up to meet Ella’s concerned gaze.
“What about you?” I ask, causing her to raise a brow at me again. “You and Jaxon?”
“Nothing is going to actually happen between me and Jaxon. How could it? We are leaving as soon as you’re ready.” Ella always has an answer, and the fact that she’s staying so calm while I’m pissed off is making this whole situation even more miserable.
“What if you guys hit it off?” I challenge. “You’re just gonna walk away?”
“Yeah,” her voice is firm. “If anything happens between us, it will just be for fun, not for romance.”
“If you can have fun, why can’t I?”
Ella lets out a soft breath. “I don’t think you have it in you. This isn’t you fucking a random perv on the weekend and then blocking him.”
My eyes go wide. She’s never used that against me before. I always thought she assumed the conversation was off-limits, but I guess that’s off the table now.
Ella registers the pain surging through my features. The sting threatens to turn my eyes into storm clouds. “Sally, I’m sorry. That was uncall—”
“I don’t want to hear this from the girl who was a coward and ended her last relationship because it got too real. We can’t all have someone actually care about them.”
I walk out of the living room and into my bedroom.
My eyes still sting as they well with tears.
It’s been a while since I’ve cried in this room.
The worst part is, I know Ella is right, and I’m being a bitch, but I’m too mad and stubborn to turn back now.
Oliver is just a short-lived dream of me meeting a guy who might actually like me for me and not the parts of my body that I hate.
I just don’t want to admit that because then it’s real, and I want to swim out into the deep end a little.