Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
KENDRIX
I checked my reflection in the mirror that we kept in the lounge once again, my locs were freshly done, the pants Phoenix ironed for me were crisp along with the new black sweater. I wanted to come across as a man who had style but wasn’t trying too much, he would be able to see right through that.
The voices outside the door were loud with laughter, Levi always knows how to get anyone to loosen up. He’s that guy, the one with the jokes that made the hardest men laugh and women ate out the palm of his hands. As for me I over thought everything, my social interactions with others never seemed to go the same way .
“And this is my best friend and brother Kendrix but we all call him Ken. He’s not as funny as me but he’s cool people. Ken this is Travis, I wasn’t going to say anything but I think he might have you beat in the cool department. You see the swag he walked in here with, man he’s too cool for me. I’ll let yall talk for a bit and then I’ll be back to see you before you head out Travis. Is that cool?” Levi looked down at the kid, and he nodded with a pretty friendly look on his face.
He left us alone, and I was nervous as hell. Travis looked to be about 13 or 14 years old. His hair was in a low ponytail that looked like he had slapped some water in it. His black sweatsuit had seen better days. His opal brown skin showed a few faint bruises, and immediately, I felt my blood boiling.
My height pretty much had everyone beat so I bent down to get eye level with him.
“My name is Kendrix, and you can call me that or Ken, whichever one makes you most comfortable. I am 32, soon to be 33, in a few more weeks. I love the color green, and I have no idea how to raise a child. As a matter of fact, I’m not trying to be your dad or anything like that. I thought you could use a break from whoever put those bruises on your face.” Travis remained quiet, but his eyes hardened when I pointed out the marks.
“I had a shitty father who put his hands on my mother and me for far too long when I was a little bit younger than you so I get it. Your stay with me is temporary until we find you a forever home that’ll take care of you the way you deserve. My girlfriend is staying with me, and she’s the sweetest person I know, so even if you end up hating me, you’ll love her; everyone else does. Now, is there anything you want to tell me about you?” I tend to talk a lot when placed in nervous situations, and I wanted Travis to like me, at least to his comfort level.
Travis’s eyes scanned me, and he took a minute to process everything I said.
“I don’t like nobody yelling at me, that shit. I mean, stuff is unnecessary. My ears work fine without the elevated volume. I ain’t got no stuff or nothing like that so I will wash this outfit out and use the stuff they gave me to clean myself with. You don’t gotta worry about me being a burden I won’t be in the way or nothing like that.” His voice and words reminded me of a child who tried to do all the right things and stay out of people’s way to keep the peace. It was me. I thought if I was a good kid and didn’t make a fuss about stuff my dad would stop beating me and my mom but that didn’t happen.
“I hate yelling too so that makes the two of us. We can go to the mall after you get settled in and get you everything you need. The only thing I want you to worry about is being a kid, that’s it. You ready to go? ”
“Yes sir.” Levi approached us on the way to the car and promised to come by and visit soon.
The car ride home was silent except for the music on the radio. I didn’t know what to say and apparently Travis was content with looking out the window. When I pulled into the driveway he showed the first emotion after laughing with Levi, he was slightly impressed.
“This is a big house, and the yard looks nice. That’s cool.” He mumbled and I turned my head to the side to conceal the triumphant smile that almost broke free.
I stared at the three-story house which was a far cry from the one I grew up in. This was one of my first buys that I felt proud of, growing up with next to nothing you learn to cherish the things you are blessed with.
“You ready to go inside?” I went to open my door but noticed when he hesitated.
“Yes sir.” I appreciated the manners that were instilled in him but it really wasn’t necessary.
“Sir is very respectable and it shows that you have great manners but please call me Ken or Kendrix, if it makes you feel better you can say Mr. Kendrix but sir makes me feel like an old man.” I smiled over at him and he lifted the corner of his mouth.
“Okay Mr. Kendrix, what if your girlfriend doesn’t like me, will I have to leave?” Someone in his life made him feel like his presence was a burden and that would never be the case with me. I can show him better than I can tell him though.
“Nope, she will love you, but I will let you see for yourself. Come on, let’s go inside if you feel uncomfortable. We can figure out something else that works best for you.” Travis still looked nervous, but he got out of the car and walked slightly behind me once we got to the front door.
I opened the door and found Phoenix looking as radiant as ever. Her hair was up in a top-knot bun, showing off her beautiful features. She had on these flowy pants that were loose but still accentuated her figure. She didn’t even notice it when we came inside; she was too busy singing her heart out and jumping around to some song from Hamilton.
Travis looked from me to her and then back to me with a raised eyebrow, I made a funny face in response which earned me the first smile from him.
“We are waiting for you!” Phoenix bellowed out, dancing like she learned the moves from the long-ass play. She turned around and almost screamed when she saw us.
“Oh my goodness, Ken, why didn’t you say anything? You scared me!” She huffed out in laughter but her eyes were trained on Travis. He stepped closer to me when she walked in our direction, Nix noticed and stopped immediately, sporting a cautious expression .
“Hi Travis, my name is Phoenix. Is it okay that I step a little closer to you, if not that is okay.” She waited patiently until he nodded shyly and met her halfway.
“Hey, you are very pretty.” He mumbled, starstruck but still wary of her. Phoenix smiled brightly and like it did with me, it disarmed some of his apprehension.
“Thank you so much cutie, I have a surprise to show you. Do you want to see it?” He looked over at me, and I smiled, encouraging him to give her a chance; if anyone was worth knowing in this world, it was Phoenix.
I followed him upstairs to the guest room she was occupying before she moved into my room with me.
We had no idea what young preteen boys liked, so I did some research and found a few things that he would possibly enjoy. Phoenix had the idea to put famous quotes from black pioneers on the wall. Black wallpaper for an accent wall with a shelf of a few of my signed basketballs and an LED rope light formed into a circle around another piece of art with his name made of gold letters.
The bed frame was blue, and we finished it off with a desk in the corner and a bookshelf. Even though this was supposed to be a temporary situation, I wanted him to know that we wanted him here for however long. My home wasn’t a pit stop for him; it would be his oasis from the outside world .
“Well, what do you think? It is okay if you hate it. We can change it. I don’t know if you like basketball or not, but I thought it would be cool to put that on the wall but if sports aren’t your thing, we can do some—” Phoenix’s hand on my mouth stopped my word vomit.
“Baby, give him a chance to say something.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“This is dope, Mr. Ken; I really like it. I used to play basketball growing up, but eventually, the courts got too dangerous, so I really haven’t played that much. You know I’m going to be here for a little while, right?” He looked pleased, finally smiling at us.
“Yes, I know I wanted you to be comfortable. Again, we will head to the mall in a bit so you can pick out some clothes. We did manage to get your size and get you some stuff to get you situated. Check it out, and we’ll give you some breathing room. Meet us downstairs whenever you’re up for company.” He nodded with a look of gratitude on his face.
Phoenix held my hand until we made it downstairs; she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me so passionately that I almost took her right there in the kitchen. She pulled away after sucking the soul out of me.
“Wha—what was that for?” I murmured against her lips. The curve of her perfect body released the pent-up anxiety I’d been carrying since leaving the house this morning .
“Did you see the look on that boy’s face? He was so shocked and happy that you did that for him. You were so nervous about meeting him, but he clung to you the moment I tried to walk over and introduce myself. He is comfortable with you; how do you feel?” She grabbed my hand, leading me over to the couch. Once I got comfortable, she sat in my lap.
I positioned her right so I could think clearly without thinking of being deep inside of her. I cuffed her chin and connected the dots between her freckles.
“A part of me feels great that we can temporarily bring him some happiness, but I am also nervous that somehow I might fuck up this kid even worse than what he had already been through.” I shook my head at the same thought pattern my father instilled.
“Hold on, before you respond, let me rephrase that. I am tired of thinking the same thoughts that stemmed from my childhood; I am not my father. I am not his mistakes and sins. I am better than he ever was and anything he could have been. Phoenix, I don’t want to keep this same toxic cycle going; I’m ready to move on from this stuff. I am nervous that him being here isn’t the best thing for him, given everything we have going on, but I will do everything I can to protect you both.” I’m not sure what was different in this moment; I felt my self-confidence building. How did I expect my mindset to change if I kept giving life to the same toxic teachings from my childhood ?
“I’m proud of you, Kendrix. I can only love you so much and build you up, but if you don’t believe it yourself, it means nothing. We will be safe. Let me see what I can whip up in the kitchen for us.” I kissed her forehead and went upstairs to get washed up, and a call came from my mama.
Every time the phone rang, I was always nervous to talk to her, sometimes I had nightmares that she would resent me for killing that bastard.
“Hey, my baby boy, talk to me. You haven’t been answering my calls lately. Is everything okay?” I haven’t but that was on me because my focus has been on finding this man.
“I'm sorry, Mom. There has been some trouble with Phoenix that has had my full attention. How are you doing?”
“That’s okay, baby. You have a life outside of me being in here, so I get it. I feel like I know her from everything you have been telling me about her over the years. I am not your responsibility, Kendrix Morgan, so don’t start thinking that you must take care of me. My sentence is up in a few weeks, which I am sure that you already know. I will be staying with my sister upon release; you never met her due to my relationship with your father. He estranged me from my family before you were born, and no one knew about you. I prayed and called her number, hoping it was the same after all these years, and we talked about everything so I will be with her. She lives in our old town, which is not far from Slatesville. You have done a lot for me, baby boy, and I don’t want to burden you with it anymore. I don’t believe I have ever said this to you, but I am so sorry that I stayed with your father as long as I did. It would be best if you hadn’t had to make that decision. I didn’t know how to walk away; I was too afraid. I hope you can forgive me one day for everything I put you through. Now I don’t want to hear no lip about what I said. Is that understood, young man?” There was no point in arguing with her because she was right. I did feel like I owed her, even though he was a piece of shit he did financially take care of her.
“Yes, ma’am, you are my mama, and I will take care of you too. I don’t blame you for anything we went through; if it was easy for you to walk away, you would have. We both know it wasn’t an option. I forgive you if you forgive me too. Now, back to the topic at hand, I have been doing some thinking, and I am ready to be broken from the spiritual demons that have been walking with me my whole life. Can you pray over me until our time is up?” I started sniffling because my damn spirit was tired, tired of the same formula and expecting different results. It’s time to switch things up.
“My sweet baby boy, of course I can. You have to forgive your father, not for him but for you. That man has been gone for almost fifteen years, and you still act as if he is right beside you in your ear. You need to let go and let God. Dear God, I thank you for my baby Kendrix…”
PHOENIX
It’s been three days since Travis came to stay with us, and I could not get him out of his room anytime I was downstairs or in the kitchen. He would turn around and leave whenever he saw that I was there. I don’t know what to do, but I want to try something, taking a deep breath before I knocked gently on his door. He permitted me to come in. When I opened the door, he was sitting on the bed, with his hands in his hair; gel, a spray bottle, and hair grease were opened on the desk.
He didn’t look up. “Hi, it’s me. I just wanted to talk to you really quickly if that’s okay with you.”
Travis nodded, so I came in a little farther but did not approach him. I did not want to overcrowd him because it was clear to me that he was uncomfortable with women and it hurt my heart to even think about why that is.
His tresses had too much grease, and the ponytail he tried to fix had a massive lump in the middle. Just looking at his hair now, it was big and full.
This I could manage; I’ve had big hair my whole life. I think this might be our olive branch.
“You know, when I was younger, maybe around your age, I mastered about two and a half hairstyles on me, and I say two and a half because one did look a little crazy, and my grandmother would always have to adjust it. If you want, I can show you how to do your hair. If you have a certain style you like, would you like that?”
His frustration with his hair was evident to me, even though he looked apprehensive to let me help him. He did not refuse my help.
I told him to meet me in the kitchen since it is, in fact, easier to wash hair there. We discussed how important it is to have clean hair before you attempt to style it.
He let me apply the pre-poo treatment, and we detangled each strand. He shampooed it three times, then used a deep conditioner, and now I have him sitting under a hooded dryer.
There has been little conversation; he opened up about a few friends he misses. We talked about his love for basketball, and he was impressed with my knowledge of the game. It won me some brownie points.
Once we washed out the treatment, he applied a light leave-in conditioner, and I showed him how to blow-dry it. I remember Granny taking me through these steps when I cried to her about hating my hair.
“I did not learn how to do my hair. My mother was never really home enough to teach me, and we didn’t have enough money to always get a haircut, so instead of allowing the kids to tease me at school, I just grew it out. YouTube taught me how to perfect a ponytail, but I would love to learn how to do some cool braids or even locs like Mr. Ken. His hair is pretty cool. What do you think we should do?”
“Well, if you want, we can get you a haircut. If you have a certain style that you really like, we could do a fade or a low Caesar cut, which is just a very low hair haircut with the waves. Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I sound like such a girl trying to explain different haircuts. I’m just a little nervous.” Travis stopped staring at the television to stare at me with a befuddled expression.
“It’s cool, Ms. Phoenix. You are a girl, so I don’t expect girls to know all about boy haircuts and stuff. Why are you nervous?” I twiddled my fingers, not sure if I should bring it up or not. He laughed twice in the last two hours, and I didn’t want to ruin it .
“It’s just that you seem not to like me very much, and I don’t know what I did or did not do. I don’t want to say the wrong thing or make you feel uncomfortable.” Come to think of it, he reminded me of a teenage Kendrix. He used to act the same way around me.
Travis scratched his head, thinking, “Sometimes it makes me sad to be around you because you have the same smile as my momma. She didn’t always do the right thing, but I still love and miss her. Mr. Kendrix always makes you smile, and you are always laughing, so I always see it.” The poor baby.
I cleared my throat. “I am sorry, you’re right; Kendrix does make me happy. We can talk about your mom if you want to sometimes. I will ask Mr. Levi if we can work something out so you can speak with her. Do you want to talk to her?” His bottom lip trembled, and I immediately jumped out of the chair to offer him a hug, which he accepted.
“Every single day.”
When Kendrix came in from work, we were both on the couch watching Shrek; I was appalled when he said he’d never seen it.
Kendrix raised an eyebrow at me when Travis belly laughed at something Donkey said. I grinned and gave him a thumbs-up.
“Travis, your braids look really nice. Did you do them yourself?” Kendrix snuggled up close to me on the couch while Travis sat on the far left end .
His smile was timid, but his eyes glowed bright, “Ms. Phoenix showed me how to do them; you were right. She is pretty cool.” I gasped but quickly schooled my face.
“You hear that, baby? I’m cool!” I whisper shouted in Ken’s ear.
He kissed my forehead.
“You really are.”