CHAPTER SIX
WILLOW
My head is spinning with everything that’s happened.
Everything Jax has said. I don’t know where up is at this point, but I think I’m okay with that.
He wants to live in today with me, and if I’m honest, I really want to live in it with him.
I was never one to believe in love at first sight, and I’m not saying I’m in love with him, plus, I’ve known him for two years…
But there’s something there between us, and I would be stupid to allow my fear of the future to stop us from seeing where things go.
But first, he needs to know a couple of things.
“No marriage,” I blurt out. When his brows furrow, I explain. “Marriage means forever. I can live in today with you, but marriage is off the table. So, if that’s something you want, you need to know it’s never going to happen.”
Jax nods once. “I understand. No marriage.”
“And I don’t want any kids.”
“There are other ways of having kids,” he says softly.
“If you want kids, you need to walk away now,” I tell him. “I don’t want kids. Kids are attachments, dependents, and if something happens to one of us, they will be left without a mom or a dad. No kids. Ever.” I choke out the last word.
Jax’s gaze flits back and forth between my eyes, then he nods. “No kids. Just you and me. Today.”
My chest tightens, squeezing my heart. “If you change your mind, it’s okay,” I tell him, needing him to know he always has an out. “I’ll never change my mind, but if you do… if you want marriage and kids, all you have to do is tell me and I’ll understand.”
“Okay,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “If anything ever changes, I’ll tell you.” He presses his lips to mine. “We already missed the movie, but how about we get cleaned up, go grab some takeout, and we can go home and rent a movie.”
“That sounds good.”
When we get home, we both run upstairs to change out of our work clothes. When I go to enter my room, Jax stops me. “I want you in my room with me.”
“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” I ask, worried we’re going to lose control and crash and burn.
“We’re living in today,” he says. “Today, I want you in my bed with me.”
After moving my duffel bag of stuff into his room, we change and then go back downstairs to eat our Chinese and watch a movie.
He doesn’t find any of the movies he mentioned before, but he seems stoked when he apparently finds another movie he swears everyone needs to watch before they die: Top Gun.
While we watch the movie, Jax holds me close to him.
We laugh at the funny stuff the guys do and say.
Jax recites his favorite lines along with the guys when they say them, and then when Maverick and Charlie make love, he picks me up, and forgetting about the rest of the movie, carries me up to his room and makes love to me until we’re both unable to move.
And then once we’re both completely sated, we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
Today, I think to myself, was a really good day. And then for the first time in over a year, I allow myself to think about tomorrow.