Chapter 17 #2
“I didn’t think I could ever trust anyone… aside from my mother.”
Angelo didn’t interrupt her thoughts with questions. He let her think and speak on her own time. He was glad to just hold her and feel that stillness and peace he knew she desperately needed.
“The thing that makes me so mad… so full of rage about my life, isn’t just that mine was taken away, but hers too.
When my mother ran away after finding out she was pregnant she left behind a bright future.
She was at university in Dublin at Trinity College.
She was studying to be an astronomer. All of that was ripped away because of my father.
She gave up everything for me, and she died in a hospital bed…
” Kara’s voice broke and the sound shattered his own heart.
Carefully lifting her up, he cupped her face in one palm, holding her gaze as she struggled to find the words.
“Do you know how many times I’ve wished I could have saved her, gone back in time, told her to go home and not with her friends to that pub?
To just…” she shut her eyes and tears flowed down her cheeks.
“It’s like she was trapped in a story, one that I’d give anything to rewrite so I could save her, but I can’t.
And now I’m trapped.” She gave her head a little shake.
“But when I’m with you? I don’t feel trapped.
” She drew in a deep breath. “It’s just sometimes this grief I carry for her…
for myself… it strangles me until I can’t think, can’t sleep, can barely breathe. ”
Angelo stroked the pad of his thumb against her cheek, catching stray tears.
“To love and to grieve are the same thing. You cannot have one without the other,” he said.
“You love so deeply that your grief is just as vast. But because you’ve had to run your entire life, you’ve never had a chance to feel the good part of that love, rather you’ve only felt the grief.
Your mother chose to keep you safe, that meant running, but she loved you every minute of the days she spent with you.
Maybe…” he paused. “Maybe now you have a chance to change the ending of at least one story… your own.”
Her eyes darkened. “My own,” she echoed and then nodded a little.
Angelo wished he knew what thoughts ran through her mind, but all he could do was wait and hope she would tell him.
“Tonight you made me feel so safe, so secure, while we were swimming. I know that sounds silly. But that was huge for me. Not because I was afraid of the water, I wasn’t, but I haven’t ever trusted my fate to someone else besides my mother.
It’s been so long since I…had a real relationship of any kind and oh my god this sounds so terrible. ” She gave a watery laugh.
“What does?”
“I was going to say that it felt like I had a best friend, or at least what I imagine it would feel like to have one. Someone you trust with all your secrets, someone you trust never to hurt you or abandon you when things get hard. I’d always wanted a best friend, but…
” she shrugged. “It could never happen. I could never let anyone in…until you.” She laughed again, the sound self-deprecating.
“Kara, I am your friend. If that’s how you define a best friend, then I am that too.
Gladly.” He wished she could see what lay in his heart.
How much he cared for her. It went beyond lust, beyond passion, beyond the desire of his body and went so much deeper.
He would help her rewrite her own story so that she’d have the ending she deserved.
“Tell me what you want in life, what would fill your soul with purpose and passion?” he asked her. He wanted her to look forward, to plan, to think, to dream.
She gave the question deep thought. “I think I’d like to write, to share stories.
Like the tale of your grandmother and her recipes, her life on Ortigia, how she fell in love with your grandfather.
And maybe…maybe I could tell other stories too.
Like telling the stories of those who never got the chance to speak.
I just want to do something that matters, maybe even help at a non-profit for improving literacy.
I don’t want to run anymore… I want to stay. ”
“Then I will make sure you get a chance to do that.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, and the little sigh she gave was one of contentment.
“And for the record…you are my best friend too.” He murmured.
She yawned and then smiled. “What about Thad and Jared?”
“You know what’s amazing about friendship?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“You can have more than one best friend; you can even have three.” He winked at her and Kara giggled drowsily.
“Tell me about your grandmother…about how you learned to cook again.” She closed her eyes and nestled in against him.
Angelo spoke softly, telling her all that he could remember about Ortigia… about his grandmother, the smells, the sights, the tastes, the laughter and at some point, he knew when Kara fell asleep.
Her head on his shoulder, one arm wrapped around his chest and one of her legs entwined with his, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life.
You won’t have to run anymore, princess…when the clock strikes midnight…you’ll be able to stay with me and live happily ever after.
Cormac was well aware that he and Jim had been followed the last several days.
He was good at spotting a tail, but he was even better at knowing when eyes were on him, like they were right now.
It was a mistake to keep coming back to this damn diner, but Jim had a craving for those damned American pancakes.
The real question was who was following them?
The Westies were focused on the latest drug deal going through the New York City port.
Cormac had bought himself a week to prove to the Westies he had access to Sean O’Brien’s daughter.
Time was running out. He would lose his hold in New York if he didn’t find Kara and prove she was his to her father’s men.
If he lost New York, he’d have a real problem holding onto Dublin.
Sean’s Empire would crumble like a row of dominoes.
Cormac had worked too hard the last ten years to let that happen.