Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ascream. Loud, piercing, and panicked. Jordan heard it through his door.
Vanessa.
He leaped from the couch where he’d been watching NBA highlights and bolted for the door. The scream hadn’t come from across the hall, but from lower, from the building’s entrance, so he turned to the staircase.
She was at the base of it, awkwardly crab-crawling up the steps backward as she faced the entrance.
“Vanessa!” He was halfway down the stairwell before she turned her head.
“The-there’s som-someone—” Her voice was choked, her face ghost white. “Outside.” She managed to point to the door.
Jordan crouched in front of her and gently brushed her hair away from her tear-streaked cheeks. Her pupils were blown, her breathing ragged.
“Who’s out there?”
“I—I don’t know.” Her eyes jolted from side to side. “Someone with a ca—camera, maybe. I think. I saw a flash. It’s nothing. But the roses, and the messages. I’ve been drinking.” She was rambling, unable to catch her breath.
“Look at me,” he whispered.
Her gaze kept dodging his, like she was waiting for someone to jump out from behind him.
“I need you to look at me, princess.” His tone was soft, gentle, as he cradled her face in his hands until her gaze locked with his. He held her there a moment, thumbs brushing over cheekbones, until she seemed to calm a bit. “I’m going to go check things out.”
She shook her head violently and grabbed his arms. “No, don’t leave me.”
“If someone out there scared you, I will find them.” And kill them if he had to.
Seeing her like this, broken and vulnerable, ripped his heart wide open.
It scared him. He’d never known her to be anything other than strong and confident.
“But you have to stay right here,” he told her firmly.
“I mean it,” he added, knowing that she had yet to follow a single order he’d ever given her.
To his relief, she nodded slowly, but her grip on him didn’t loosen. “Vanessa, baby…” His voice was quiet, but there was a steel edge to it he couldn’t hide. “I have to make sure you’re safe.”
Her breath hitched, but after a beat she released her hold on him.
He stood gradually, making sure not to spook her further.
“Hurry.” The desperate plea in her voice made his stomach churn.
“Don’t move,” he said, then went out onto the street.
It was dark, except for the eerie glow from the streetlamps and a few neon lights from local businesses, including the bronze-lit Bowie’s sign on the corner. A car drove past, making whooshing sounds as the tires splashed through the puddles from the earlier rain.
With his senses on high alert, Jordan jogged to the bar’s entrance. Bowie’s closed at midnight on Thursdays, so it had been shut for almost an hour.
At the far end of the street, a couple walked in the opposite direction, huddled together in the cold. He scanned the other end, but no one appeared suspicious. No one lurking in any shadows. Just…empty shadows. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Vanessa was right. Someone had been out here.
He jogged back to the apartment building’s entrance, checking everywhere as he went, even glancing up at the rooftops to make sure no one was watching from above.
When he turned to the door’s window, his heart stopped. The staircase where he’d left Vanessa was empty.
“Fuck!” He shoved his key in the hole and tore the door open, taking the steps two at a time. “Vanessa!”
He nearly slammed into her at the top of the staircase.
“I’m here. I’m here.” Her voice muffled into his shoulder as he crushed her against him.
“Jesus.” He pressed his forehead to hers before he could think better of it. His heart ricocheted around his chest like it was ripped from a deep sleep by a blaring alarm. “I wonder—” He sucked in a breath, trying to calm the panic storming through him.
“What? You wonder what?” She clutched the front of his shirt with a grip as fierce as his.
When she tipped her face up slightly, their noses brushed, and the air between them crackled with a sizzling electricity.
Those brown eyes shone back at him, so trusting, so sweet, so fucking needy for him, like he was the last safe place she had.
All he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and never let go.
The thought was enough to break the spell and snap him out of his momentary delusion. He exhaled sharply, taking a step back with effort, and putting much-needed distance between them.
“I wonder what my life would be like if you actually listened to me, just once.”
Her brow arched with familiar annoyance, her lips pulling tight in a combative expression he knew too well. Which was fine by him. Irritation, frustration, even her temper, he could handle. But the softness, that irresistible sweetness? Dangerous.
There were a million and one reasons why there couldn’t be anything more between them than cool familiarity. Starting with the fact that she was Joel’s sister-in-law and ending with the hard reality that she was a million miles out of his league.
She narrowed her stare. “Probably dull and boring. Oh wait, you like it like that.” Her tone was fiery, but there was still a wobble to it.
The sound would haunt him all night long, if not longer.
“Dull and boring won’t get you hurt.” Tucking his arm under her legs, he scooped her up in his arms.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, even as her arm went around his shoulders.
“You’re hurt.” He carried her to Sean and Ivy’s door. Practicality, he told himself. The apartment he was staying in was much closer than hers. It had nothing to do with the urge to keep her close.
“I banged my shin. I’ll live.”
“I asked you to stay put. I can’t keep you safe if you don’t do what I tell you to do.”
She squirmed in his arms, and he tightened his grip.
“I went up to the hall, Zeus. Besides, no one asked you to keep me safe. You decided to go outside all on your own. I told you not to.”
Frowning at the memory of her softly begging him not to leave her, he jerked the door to the apartment open and crossed to the couch.
As if he’d been summoned, Nigel sat there with a petrified look in his beady eyes. Damn thing was probably scared shitless. When Jordan heard Vanessa scream, he’d sprinted out of the apartment, slamming the door as he left. The basketball highlights still ran on the TV.
He gently set Vanessa on the couch, her body too limp and weary for his liking.
Without a word, he tossed a blanket at her.
He could tell she wasn’t herself yet since she didn’t try to stop him or get up to go to her own place.
She simply wrapped the soft fabric around her body and scooped Nigel onto her lap.
Then he went to the kitchen to pour her a glass of water. When he got back to the living room, he found her petting Nigel, concentrating hard on his tiny furry body.
Without looking up, she said, “I’m sorry I caused a scene. I know I probably didn’t see anything. Most likely, my imagination was playing tricks on me.”
She stroked her long, slender fingers gently between Nigel’s ears, and Jordan had never been more jealous in his life. “My mom always told me I have an overactive imagination.”
When he set the glass of water in front of her, she wouldn’t look at him, and somehow that made everything worse. How many people had made her feel like she was overreacting? Being too dramatic? Too much?
You, for one, you fucking jackass.
With a slow, deliberate inhale, he settled onto the armchair across from the couch. The hum of the TV filled the silence as she continued to stroke Nigel’s fur. She seemed lost in the movement, grounding herself.
Attention never leaving her, he picked up the remote and turned off the TV. “I wouldn’t say that about you.”
She snorted softly, a sound laced with dry humor. “You don’t have to be nice. I know how you feel about me.”
His heart skipped a beat, and he leaned forward, elbows on knees.
“Do you now?” He highly doubted she had any idea how he felt about her.
Hell, he couldn’t even piece together how he felt about her.
It was a mess of contradictions. A push and pull so strong it was like a bloody purgatory, being caught between the heaven and hell of her.
“You hate me,” she murmured, her gaze fixed on her lap.
The almost inaudible words hit him like a blow to the chest, sending an ache through his entire ribcage. He barely resisted the urge to rub where it hurt.
Hate her?
He might be confused as hell about his feelings, but hate was so far removed from anything he was experiencing it was laughable.
Did she annoy the hell out of him? Daily.
Did she make his head hurt with her constant defiance?
Absolutely. Did one soft, vulnerable look from her stop his heart? Every damn time. No, this wasn’t hate.
He straightened his spine, his gaze insistent and his voice firm. “Look at me.”
Vanessa didn’t move, her fingers still absentmindedly petting the rabbit. Defiant at every turn.
He leaned closer to her, his tone taking on an edge. “Vanessa,” he growled.
Her eyes—brown, bright, and unusually defenseless—finally met his.
“I don’t hate you.” He held her gaze, needing her to understand. “Do you know how I know that?”
A single blink, then she slowly shook her head.
“Because when I got back, and you weren’t exactly where I left you, it felt like a bullet blew through my chest.” He swallowed hard, the memory tightening his throat. He leaned back, his voice low and rough. “This isn’t hate, baby. Not even close.”
Her brow furrowed, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. Yeah, she was confused, but, hell, so was he. The woman tied him in knots that he didn’t have a clue how to untangle, but he was quickly becoming familiar with the sensation.
He cleared his throat, desperate to steer the conversation away from the unspoken tension.
“And I don’t agree that you have an overactive imagination.
” His voice was gruff as the words spilled out.
“Your mind’s not chaotic, Vanessa. It’s organized.
You’re decisive. You have a vision, and you see it through.
It’s not random. It’s brilliant. Determined.
Clear. So if you tell me you saw the flash of a camera in your face, I’m going to believe it. ”
When she didn’t respond, he wondered if he’d said too much. But then he saw the shimmer in her eyes, the tears threatening to spill. The sight twisted something deep inside him.
But as quickly as it came, the moment passed.
She blinked rapidly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. Her voice was a bit unsteady, but wrapped in the same sarcastic humor she always wore as armor, when she said, “Wow, Zeus. I think that’s the most words I’ve ever heard you string together.”
The unexpected laugh that bubbled out of him surprised them both. Damn her. She had a way of disarming him, of making him laugh when he should be keeping his guard up. And yet, every time she did it, he couldn’t help but admire her more. It was torture being around her.
Because he could never have her. Because he didn’t deserve her.
But as he sat there, the weight of everything unspoken between them heavy in the air, he realized something else. He was slowly forgetting what his life was like before she came into it.